Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Top 20 Place you don't want to wake up on a Sat/Sunday morning

I have to say I can relate to some of these, however I won't disclose my years of drunken stupidity.

1. Your parents’ driveway with the car still running.

2. The bushes outside your ex-girlfriend’s apartment using a boom box as a pillow.

3. Spooning some random dude.
4. In a bath tub covered in blood.

5. The Emergency Room with: A) a stab wound, B) significantly less teeth, C) your arms handcuffed to the bed, and/or D) your mom hysterically crying across the room.

6. The back seat of a stranger’s car.

7. In a strip club getting asked if that last lap dance should go on your credit card like the others.

8. On a downtown park bench in a city you’re unfamiliar with.

9. Next to your buddy wailing on a chick who may or may not be a professional.

10. Surrounded by your friends trying to figure out how you’re too stupid to find a bathroom.

11. The back bedroom of a trailer, for the second time.

12. Your parents’ kitchen floor.

13. Next to a minor telling you it’s “our little secret”.

14. The front lawn of the local synagogue.

15. Cleveland.

16. Next to any chick your friends have nicknamed slam pig, war pig, big bear, polar bear, hedgehog, freight elevator, or anything else that references her size and/or resemblance to a wild animal.

17. The drunk tank with someone dropping a deuce in the community toilet.

18. The couch with no pants on and the dryer running.

19. The neighbors’ front porch when you don’t know the neighbors.

20. On the floor of your old apartment with the new residents dialing 911.

No comments: