Tuesday, September 27, 2022

TMX week 3

TMX week 3 review is here.  It was a wild week and the red crosses are starting to pop up on all rosters. The only team without a red cross next to a starter is Burrow my dick in your ass! The waivers are going to be hot this week and there are teams looking to wheel and deal. Lets get to the recap for week 3.  

Hong Kong Street Pharmacist is cruising and may run this thing wire to wire. They put up 169 this week with Lamar Jackson and Mark Andrews combo going for 76 which was more than two teams got for the week!! WILD. Saquon Barkley is back and looks as healthy as ever and Amari Cooper is making his case as an every week starter. Everything is going right for HK $treet Pharmacist and they seem unbeatable. There's a lot of football to be played but they look good.  

Second place this week was Burrow my dick in your ass with 129.  Joe Burrow ended the QB controversy at least for this week with 3 TDS and James Robinson has turned out to be one of the best 11th round picks ADSL has ever seen. Zeke is scoring, Robinson is rb1,  JK getting healthy and Peirce taking over the job in Houston it shouldn't be long till Burrows is working an angle to start 4rbs ( see T.Hill at tight end move). Its gonna take alot to get to HK Pharmacist but with Adams and Kelce and that stable of rbs Burrow has the pieces. 

Third place this week was Moco Loco with 120. Josh Allen continues to produce putting up another 40 burger  while Kamara hasn't found his groove yet this year.  Moco left Cordarrelle Patterson on the bench and he led the bench mob that put up 156!! Old Moco Loco would have made a blockbuster trade by now rather than have his bench outscoring the starters, lets see what he does this week. 

Fourth place this week was Slippery Wizards with 101. SW continues to play QB roulette and had concussed Tua in this week. Chubb and CMC are doing their thing while he got 6 points combined from two starting wrs and a goose egg from his starting D!! Might be time to make a move over there at SW headquarters. 

Fifth place  this week was Prebathtubwhitney with 99. The Herbert/ Ekler combo is not working as planned and Herbert was on the bench this week with the rib injury. Top wrs Diggs and St Brown both played through injuries so that could be an issue going forward but Capt Kirk has finally found a home in the starting lineup it seems. Tony Pollard continues to get points on limited carries and seems a better option than Henderson right now. 

Sixth place this week was Flyingdingoes with 99. The Dingoes finally got the production from King Henry and even saw him catch 5 passes which is huge if he's being used in the passing game going forward. Not the biggest waiver wire team they dipped in the waivers and grabbed Mariota as they wait out TB12 playing with back up wrs. Dingoes have Jamal Williams on the bench waiting to get some work and that may come this week with Swift day to day. The defending champs are trying to claw their way back to the top and as we said a lot of games to be played.  

Seventh place this week was Pepper Brooks @ the Ocho with 92. Hurts continues to produce putting up 38 but the 3 headed rb group could only get a combined 17 points this week and that wont cut it. Jefferson wont have too many weeks like this and lets put prayers up that TMX fav Tee Higgins doesn't take another head shot and There Goes Swifty gets healthy!! Who shot ya Robinson is also on track to be back week 5 so the rbs are on notice!! 

Eighth Place this week was Silly Gooses with 86. Patience with Kyler Murray maybe running out as he had another subpar game putting up 18pts. Tyreek and Kittle also had off games only getting 4 points apiece. Better days are ahead but Prater being your second leading scorer this week cant continue!!

Ninth place this week was Equalizers with 74. Mahomes had and off day with 19 and Julio Jones was in the starting lineup while being ruled out. Jonathan Taylor so far is not living up to being the number one overall pick and maybe all the off the field action at Equalizers headquarters in effecting the lineup decisions?  

Tenth place this week was Charlies Angels with 71. Angels had injuries to the running backs and bad Matthew Stafford showed up. Allen Robinson is off to a slow start and he might find his way to the bench for Hollywood Brown. If I'm Jimmy G i'd prolly hire some security cuz if he misses Deebo again on those open looks Angels may make a call . Not helping matters was Angels kicker  Will Lutz putting up the MINUS 1 for the day! Charlie's Angels need to weather the injury storm and get to work . 

LETS MAKE SOME CALLS. First up we gotta talk to Mr Lutz. Hey Will its TMX calling how's it going?? " oh man this is amazing I was just in a group chat with some kickers saying you guys never call kickers I'm so honored can't thank you enough for recognizing the kicking game" Uhhm yeah Will its not exactly the best call  I mean you gave the team MINUS points this week! " MINUS no no I mean I missed a kick but I got two extra points hows that MINUS" Yeah well you got a kick blocked and thats minus 2 " wait what? I didn't get it blocked the line did that's not on me! Do receivers get minus on interceptions? This kicker hate is unreal. " Well we are gonna let you go on that note. Yikes who knew kickers even cared?? 

Lets make a call to ol friend Lamar Jackson from HK Pharmacists. Yo Lamar whats good its TMX " oh TMX u back?? how's it going we are lighting it up this year huh? Me and Marky just on a roll" You aren't kidding 3tds every game and two straight with 3tds and 100 yds rushing you are on a mission, is this due to the contract? " oh come on TMX we don't talk bout no contracts we just balling" Sorry Lamar we talk about everything at TMX except Bruno of course. " oh shit good one hey Mark you hear that one hahaha" Wait Mark Andrews is at your house? You guys are that close? " oh hells yeah he's here all the time we just chill and laugh at how many points we getting" WOW guess that makes sense why you guys are so in sync. Well good luck I'm sure we will be talking again if this keeps up. " oh no doubt, Mark says hi and don't be aftraid to call him"  You got it Lamar keep balling. Lets have a look at the standings.




  1.   Hong Kong Street Pharmacist
  2.   Moco Loco                                               66pts
  3.   Prebathtubwhitney                                   93pts
  4.   Equalizers                                                110 pts
  5.   Silly Gooses                                             134 pts
  6.   Pepper Brooks@the ocho                        136pts
  7.   Burrow my dick in yo ass                        143 pts
  8.   Slippery Wizards                                     146 pts
  9.   Charlie's Angels                                       176 pts
  10.   Flyingdingoes                                          233 pts


There is a lot of football left but HK Street Pharmacists are rolling. Big waiver week and teams need to start shaky that trade tree and see what falls off. Lets hope the injuries slow down and good luck in week 4. As always folan.com for everything, TMX out.



Monday, September 26, 2022


 Who knew there was so much money in vintage clothes?

Things I learned this weekend:

1. I may be addicted to Poshmark. Guess there are worse things.

2. Are you officially old when the 90s are now vintage?

3. Congrats to Dave with his new rescue dog, Louie.

4. Nothing prepares you for hanging out with TK and Gerry! Those two will have you in stitches talking about the old days.

5. I mean who doesn't like Titos?

6. Speaking of booze...who gets grape crush shots? That shit tastes like Dimetapp.

7. Cafe Tosca is very underrated. I have never had a bad meal there.

8. Why the hell is the Cheesecake Factory adding to their already expansive menu?

9. I am so excited for Albert Pujols to hit 700 hrs.

10. Best part of Fall is the hearty comforting meals that you get to have. No ones having chili in the middle of the summer.

Tuesday, September 20, 2022

TMX Week 2


Wild week 2 is in the books! 

We had some monster games by some  and some stars that didn't show up and hurt teams. TMX is not here to name names BUT Ekler, Saquon, Chase, Najee, Pitts, Cook, Jefferson, J. Taylor, Davante and Flyingdingoes entire roster we are looking at you!! The trade  market has to heat up these next few weeks as teams need to start making moves. Rumor has it Prebathtubwhitney got a God Sun  tat across the belly (not telling him St Brown's nickname is Sun God ) after his trade and Pepper Brooks @ the Ocho isn't upset with another 40 burger from Mr. Hurts. See people trades work, lazy people don't. Enough with the motivational quotes lets get to the week 2 results. 

First place this week is God Sun himself Prebathtubwhitney who Monday nighted(patent pending) Hong Kong SP with a huge week scoring 176. Prebathtubwhitney was led by St Brown's 39 and a massive Monday night from Stefon Mar'sean Diggs 43. TMX stat nerds report Diggs now has scored the most wr points in first two weeks in the history of ADSL (71). Healthy Herbie and this crew must have the rest of the league wondering if spite drafting is the way to go next year? Lotta football left but Prebathtubwhitney is looking like a powerhouse.  

Speaking of powerhouses, Hong Kong Street Pharmacists came in 2
nd this week with 173 .  TMX heard investigator Wes Cash is still heavy on the case as to how Skza aka Skeeter, aka Rza, aka Rydog, aka Frank Brown Jr was allowed to come in and draft this wagon of a team while HK was chuckling with the guys at crossfit. That case is still in the works but meanwhile Lamar and Andrews dropped 84 points on fools and 'ol friend Kupp put up 30. Tmx called the man who drafted the team and he said " Legally I cant speak on anything but the team you mentioned is stacked from front to back and cruising like my Cadillac." So there's that!! 

Third place this week was Moco Loco with 164. Josh Allen was cruising to a 50 burger when he got pulled late in the 3rd. Sutton and Waddle had strong games and team Moco Loco is tired of beer bitch life and making a push to be a force after two weeks. Kamara gets healthy and this team will be in the mix all year. 

Fourth place this week with 161 was Silly Gooses. The Gooses got a huge game from Tyreeeeek and Aaron Jones was free on Sunday night. Like most in the league they are waiting on an injured player (Kittle) to really see what they can do. Rumor has it management is not happy with Kyler Murray and maybe looking to wheel and deal. Hit them up and see if you can get the TMX discount!! 

Fifth place this week was Slippery Wizards with 149. SW hit the waiver wire for QB help and pulled out Goff for 4 TDS and Chubb got 3 TDS on 17 carries! Slippery Wizards are out the basement for now but dropping Tua ( 60pts) are the kind of plays that will get them back in there!! 

Sixth place this week was Charlies Angels. The Angels came out of the gate hot with 38 from the Tampa D but then couldn't keep it rolling. Good news is they learned from last year with the QB rotation and sat Russy for Stafford which was a great move let see if it keeps up. Tmx ear to the streets rumor team reports they are in the market for RB help. Take that deal people. 

Seventh place this week was Pepper Brooks @the Ocho with 125. Mr Hurts carried the club with a 40 burger and Carlson kicked in 12 points for the known kicker hating Pepper Brooks team. Swift played couple carries but was still third on the team in scoring!! Fun fact Pepper got two IR guys kicking around if anyone is in the market for one. Elijah " dont call me Nora " Mitchell and Brian "who shot ya" Robinson ask for the IR discount and tell em TMX sent ya.

Eighth place this week was Equalizers with 111.  Equalizers had a rare off week from Mahomes and top pick Taylor allowing teams to catch up to him.  Mike Williams showed out and the Bills D is 20 points a week defense that can carry you in off weeks. This team is still loaded and putting up 111 in a bad week is a scary sign. Lotta people in the TMX mailbag asking for updates on the Equalizers manager's exploits . You will have to check with the other TM site, we don't do that here . 

Ninth place this week goes to Burrow my dick in your ass with 87.  Burrow after two weeks has a bad case of QB or not QB. He's sticking with Burrow while Wentz has put up 78 last two weeks. Davante had a rare off week but things are looking up !  Burrow has Peirce taking over in Houston and Bateman has turned into the number 1b guy in Baltimore behind Andrews 1a. TMX ain't here to coach but Adam Theilen needs to be called into the managers office and asked if he's gonna show up this year or nah?

Last place this week was Flyingdingoes with 55.  You put up 55 there's not much good going on. They only had one starting  player in double digits and only two players in double digits on the entire roster. TMX went back as far as the dewey decimal system would take us and found that this has never happened on a roster so loaded with depth. Brighter days are ahead for Dingoes as the Drake looks like the real deal in Atlanta. I'm sure they can revive the team with trades and maybe a dip into the waiver wire waters!!  

Lets make some calls!! First up off the first place team lets ring up Stef Diggs. Yo Stef  whoa what a start you are off to! " TMX you back? Oh man you back and I'm back. I ain't heard from you since I was playing with that chicken arm dude in Minnie! I got a real QB and I'm showing out!" No doubt Stef no doubt you guys are clicking " CLICKING! You got that right. I said at the beginning of the year I'm best WR in the league and I'm here to prove it. Me and Josh bout to tear this league up" Very impressive start thanks for your time Stefon " Thank you TMX, I know you will be calling me again!! Hahaha its Diggsbitch" Ok Diggsbitch guess we will talk again!! Very confident Stefon Diggs! Cant say we blame him, he looks unstoppable. Next up lets call Tom Brady from the Flyingdingoes. Hey TB12 it is TMX what's goods? " (loud crashing sound) Oh hey TMX you're back? Good to hear what's going on" Uhm nothing what that noise? " Well TMX I smashed another IPAD if you need to know. I'm going through a lot and my team is not helping" Well easy on the IPADS Tommy maybe hits some receivers? " yeah right!! I mean if they weren't all hurt, or getting suspended !! Anyway thanks for calling I'll be better next week or else I'm getting Gronk and Edelman back! "  Sounds good TB I'll let the Dingoes know they have nothing to worry about.  Well that wraps up week 2. There were a lot of injuries to monitor and the waivers will be wild with teams needed to fill holes (football term not cross fit) Season isn't lost after 2 weeks still plenty of time to improve !!   

Lets get our first look at the standings for the season!


  1.  Hong Kong Street Pharmacist
  2.  Equalizers                                                          15
  3.  Moco Loco                                                        18
  4.  Prebathtubwhitney                                             24
  5.  SIlly Gooses                                                       51
  6.  Pepper Brooks@ the ocho                                  61
  7.   Slippery Wizards                                               78
  8.  Charlies Angels                                                  79
  9.  Burrow my dick in your ass                             103
  10.  Flyingdingoes                                                   163



   Those are the standings after two weeks lots of time for teams to make moves. The waiver wire is loaded and now is the time to jump on a trade for a struggling guy you hope will turn it around . Good luck this week and lets hope the injuries slow down! TMX out and as always folan.com for everything.

Monday, September 19, 2022


Do you call it Fall, Autumn or just the best damn season around?

Whatever you call it...IT IS HERE!

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. I love how after I book 2 tee times for 8 guys everyone and their mothers now wants to golf.

2. You didn't hear this from me but TK was looking at properties down the Cape.

3. I watched the Elvis movie and all I can say that it is trash and I hated it.

4. People in the city who ride bike blow donkeys. They never follow the rules of the road. 

5. Pumpkin flavored pasta sauce? Is this really what the world has come too?

6. Lot of positive feed back with TMX returning in 2022.

7.  How the mighty have fallen - The Sox are offering 4 tickets, 4 hot dogs and 4 sodas for $49.

8. The Pats win their first game of the season and now everyone is back on the bandwagon.

9. Has anyone used Poshmark before?

10. Joey Martell back off the wagon.

11. Albert Pujols is only 2 homers away from 700. LETS GO!

12. Man that Martha Vineyard situation escalated quickly, huh?

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

TMX is back

Tmx is back. The long standing contract dispute with Drunknothing Inc is now over. 

Basically TMX was the Nate Diaz of fantasy football reporting  but now we have returned to finish out our contract. TMX for those new  to the game is a fantasy football reporting agency  bringing unbiased reports loosely based totally on facts! Week 1 is in the books and what a wild wild week it was. 

The Equalizers put up a week one total of 191!! Foleys walked into draft like he was the new bouncer at the double deuce, leaving the vette running in the parking lot, and between brags of his bedroom prowess he put together one hell of a team.  Mahomes putting up 49 without Tyreek, JT showing why he's the number one pick with a casual 30 burger and the Bills D adding 26 and its off and running for Equalizer. Its basically their belt to lose at this point! ADSL has been put on notice!! 

Second place this week was Hong Kong Street Pharmacist with a respectable 144. HKSP is a new hybrid team this year with Mr Crossfit himself (not showing up due to having to wear a dress/ IT nerd stuff he had to do depending on who you ask) and former ADSL owner Skza. Skza got all the groceries for HK to run the team. HK decided to sit a 14 point kicker so we shall see how this hybrid plays out this season. He did get a huge game from his old friend Saquon and of course Kupp was open all day per usual. The Lamar/ Andrews stack was quiet but that wont continue. HKSP looks like a team on the rise so there should be no reason HK doesn't show up for the draft next year, well unless Skza takes some street justice on him for leaving guys on the bench. Stay tuned. 

Third place this week was Moco Loco with 134. Moco Loco might be back in business like EPMD and the league better be ready. The original smugboy of ADSL coming for that crown. First QB off the board Allen proved why and Mr. Chase did what he does to lead Moco Loco. Great draft also means leaving almost 50 points on the bench with 2 running backs having big days. Check ya in boxes people cuz Moco Loco trades will be coming in!! 

Fourth place this week was Pepper Brooks @ the Ocho with 131. Pepper was carried by Justin Jefferson and there goes Swifty (shoutout to the ol racetrack) Pepper put up a nice week despite a couple injuries and if this keeps up the transactions are going to be record setting and the buffet bout to be LIT!! 

The 5th place team was Burrow My Dick in Your Ass with 127. Burrows team was led by his top two picks Kelce and Adams and as soon as Burrow stopped throwing to the other team he had a decent game as well BUT the Burrow bench was where the real party was at putting up 151 points!! Steelers D and Carson Wentz maybe looking at a starting job either with Burrow or on the trade market! 

The 6th place team this week was Prebathtubwhitney. The man who spite picks QBs and isn't afraid to "burn a pick" put up 116 points. Hurts and Diggs led the team while the rest of the team fizzled. Prebathtubwhitney got Herbert sitting on the bench so I'm sure a move will be made to make that team a contender. 

The 7th place team this week was Charlies Angels (unconfirmed reports say he's changing his name to Justin Jefferson fanboy) with 107. AJ Brown looks like he's in for a monster season and carried the team with Russy getting some Monday night points to save the week. Fun fact Charlies put up the rare Robert Parish double zero when both his healthy tight ends failed to score. Commish can we give a .5 for Chief? seems only right!! Cook and Etienne have better days ahead and Deeeebo is heading back to being the lead back for Niners with Mitchell out so be ready for arrogant sandwiches being handed out from Charlies Angels once again. Prebathtub u hungry?? 

The 8th place team this week was Silly Gooses with 105. Kyle don't call me Keith Murray had an ok day but it looks like Cant guard Mike Thomas is back!! Kittle being hurt didn't help but Kareem Hunt might turn into must start if Harris foot isn't better. Yo Silly G hit the waivers your kickers combined for 2 points!! 

The 9th place team this week was defending champs Flyingdingoes with 99. Joe Mixon was the leading scorer with 18 that pretty much says it all. The Dingoes might have a QB battle brewing with Jameis outscoring TB12!! Something to monitor. New territory for the defending champ should be interesting to see how he bounces back. 

Last place this week was Slippery Wizards with 90 points. SW tied their hopes to fools gold for Dak and Lamb and now they are going to be scrambling from here on out. Week 1 down a hundo is not the best place to be so they better hit the wire and offer up whatever they can to get the team moving in the right direction! 


First up from the last place team Slippery Wizards lets give a call to Dak Prescott.  Hey Dak its TMX hows it goin? " ouch ouch hey TMX glad your back ouchie ouch ouch" Dak you ok what happened out there you really let Slippery Wizards down after they reached for you in the draft. " my thumb , it hurts like real bad, ouch ouchie ouchie"  Dak you kinda sucked before that and its just a thumb you seem to be carrying on a bit here no?? " well it hurts. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" Dak are you crying?? "yes cuz it hurts its my thumb". Hey Dak we gotta end this call its getting embarrassing get well see you in November. "Thanks TMX. Yikes that was not the call we were expecting. Guess Flyingdingoes was right about Dak. Lets call someone on the winning team. We will ring up old friend Patty Mahomes. Hey Pat its TMX long time no talk!! " Hey TMX how've you been! Glad you are back!!" Thanks thanks great week without Tyreek almost dropped 50 on em. " Yeah all the guys worked together ............hey TMX what's up can you come by for a selfie??......." uhhm who is this? " Its Pat's wife you know me right?? Yeah I always wanted to be interviewed by TMX, so what do you want to ask me?" CLICK. Well that is the first TMX hang up just had to do it sorry Pat. Boy this season is off and running!! There were quite a few big injuries this week so the waivers will be active but the trade lines are wide open so as always TAKE THE DEAL!!! 

Good luck in week 2 and hit up the TMX shop for latest TMX  gear and folan.com apparel.

Monday, September 12, 2022


 The kid is back.

After a whirlwind week off and galivanting around, it feels great to be back at work.

This is what I learned while I was away:

1. Pretty sure I will never get better seats to a sporting event, 50 Yard line row 5, than I had at the Georgia game.

2. I really liked the Springfield MGM.

3. Not only is Sean Riccio alive but he happened to run into Timmy Cleary in NYC at a dance recital.

4. I had the best burger(and now burgers may be ruined for me forever) at Marcel in Atlanta. I would punch a baby for another 1, maybe not a cute baby but a baby nonetheless.

5. I wasn't too impressed with Brimfield this year. Hopefully, next year will be better.

6. Fucking Fantasy football, AMIRIGHT?

7. You didn't hear this from me but Joe Martell is sober for the month of September. Also side note he is an angry sober dude.

8. TK is one year closer to retirement. The old man is rocking 67 quite nicely.

9. Steak frites is underrated.

10. I cannot believe it has taken me 44 years to get to the Basketball Hall of Fame. Good take though.

11. The new Jurassic Park movie is pretty much trash.

12. Went to a German restaurant for the first time. I will be back - give me all the schnitzel and spatzle.

13. The cape house is off the rental market for the season.

14. Tee times are booked for Columbus day weekend.

15. Banana bread is kind of underrated.

16. Chrissy is back with Verizon after a quick affair with Xfinity mobile.

Monday, August 29, 2022


 The summer is officially gone!

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Jason Foley is packing heat in his pants...dudes rocking a rope.

2. What kind of scum bag slashes someone's tires?

3. I love drunk giggly TK.

4. No one likes an angry drunk!

5. Heading to the ATL this weekend for the Georgia - Oregon game. Go Dawgs!

6. Put a fork in em, SOX are DONEZO!

7. How are we feeling about House of Dragons?

8. Car jackings are still a thing in 2022?

9. I have no clue how Maura Healy is crushing the pols.

10. I heard some schools start up this week while others are back next Tuesday.

11. People are crazy excited for pumpkin spice everything being out early.

12. Its draft season.

Monday, August 22, 2022

2 weeks

 Labor day weekend is 2 weeks away. Man time really does fly when you are having fun.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. There are probably only a few comedians that can sell out Fenway and Bill Burr is one. Great show.

2. The whole cell phone placed inside a mitten thing really needs to be rethought. Ain't no body got time for that(fucking lines everywhere).

3. The Yanks are going down faster than a hungry hooker.

4. There is football every weekend from now until February (college or Pro).

5. My favorite part about being over 40 is all the new cracks that happen when you get up.

6. Sweet Cheeks Q is pretty good food. 

7. How do we feel about House of Dragons?

8. Usman getting kicked to the head was something man.

9. This whole Warner - Discovery merger is becoming quite a mess huh? Cancelling movies and shows on a whim.

10. Fantasy football draft this weekend...two of them actually. LETS FUCKING GO!

11. Rumor has it, Joe Martell is doing sober September. Bold strategy Cotton.

12. Not sure why, Fenway doesn't staff the beer stands accordingly during comedy shows.

Monday, August 15, 2022

August oh August

 And just like that summer was just about over.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Dunks has pumpkin spice out already.

2. Article XV in Rockland is a nice little brewery. I mean any place with a 15% beer is A-OK in my book.

3. The Red Sox take 2 out of 3 from the Yanks and TK starts the parade chant.

4. Anyone heading down to Foxwoods to see Amy Shumer this weekend?

5. Bill Burr is Sunday night and I am cautiously optimistic the show will be good at Fenway.

6. The Cajun chicken pasta at Bay Point is fire.

7. Massachusetts signed into law no more sales of gas powered vehicles starting in 2035. Do these environmentalist/electric car nuts know that electricity is made from burning fossil fuels?

8. I heard Chrissy is going to try and grow his beard long for the football season. I think hes gonna look like Kris Kringle in Santa Claus is coming to town.

9. Congrats to TK who is going to be getting a second grand child.

10. Huge bash up at Chrissy camp site on Sept 3rd...get you a camp site and party on.

Monday, August 8, 2022


 After these past 2 heat waves, I have realized I do not think I would be able to survive living in Florida.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. The new Predator movie Prey is pretty good.

2. How the fuck does ESPN + go from 5.99 to 9.99?

3. Being over 40 means waking up with some new creak or crack that you didn't have yesterday.

4. BBQ Chicken in North Quincy was pretty fire. 

5. Anyone interested in seeing Aaron Lewis?

6. Chrissy is still looking for a derby car if you have any leads.

7. Has anyone ever been to Milwaukee before? I think I want to check it out.

8. What the fuck is going on at the T? Orange line, Green line, buses on fire! I mean what the fuck bro.

9. Well over a year since I hit a game of Keno. Right now its laughable.

10. I paid $60 to fill my gas tank and was man I win today(meanwhile 2 years ago it was $37).

Monday, August 1, 2022

August is here

 Here we are half way through the summer. July came and went and now we are in the thick of it all.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Shoreline Kitchen and Bar in Hull is finally open at the hotel.

2. Thank god for Joey Martell springing for the Uber black.

3. Smiddy is alive and looking to party.

4. Congrats to the winner of 1.3 Billion dollars Mega Millions prize. Hollah atcha boy.

5. Trading deadline is tomorrow, what do the Sox do? Go for it or trade everyone.

6. The Friendly Toast just opened up in Dedham at Legacy place. Gotta swing by when you get a chance.

7. R.I.P to the goat Bill Russell.

8. Sports book and online gambling is happening here in Mass!

9. Gillette's new razor is $30. I mean does it also suck your dick?

10. Deshaun Watson - 6 game suspension? HUH? Make it make sense.

11. If you had to get rid of one - French fries or Potato chips - and why french fries?

12. Chrissy is already sick of Xfinity mobile and looking to switch providers.

Monday, July 25, 2022


 So this is what Hell feels like? Ninety plus every day and it never cools down at night? Or is this global warming and why we need electric cars? It is all so very confusing.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. The Beth is open in Hingham, taking the place of the old Beer Works.

2. TK just out there on vacation living his best beach life.

3. Chrissy is up on the mountain this week and is going to see Luke Bryan Friday. Kid has the world by the balls.

4. Congrats to Chris Leaden on being down 50 lbs.

5. Croc nation, ya'll.

6. Joey Martell is planning his 40th in St. Johns, early October.

7. It looks like the housing market is slowing down everywhere.

8. Pearl and Lime has a Zombie drink that only allows you to get 2 per visit. 

9. Man this Red Sox team is getting rocked. Do they become sellers at the trade deadline and go full rebuild?

10. Drinking at the beach and napping at the beach are totally underrated.

Monday, July 18, 2022

Im back

 After 2 weeks off, I am finally back.

This is what I learned while on vacation:

1. Falmouth isn't what I remember from high school. It wasn't nearly as bad as I remember.

2. It is hard to motivate back to work after 2 weeks off.

3. Day tripping to the Vineyard ain't for me.

4.  Hope everyone is prepared for this heat wave.

5. Fucking rotary fender benders aren't the best.

6. Who has a bachelorette party at NKOTB.

7. The new Thor: Love and Thunder is pretty good. Its no Ragnarok but its better than 1 and 2.

8. Fucking Plovers cancelling a fire works display is something.

9. I almost got myself invited to a wedding in Chicago next month.

10. Wait there is a new variant of Covid and you need a booster every 3-4 months now plus they want masks back? WAIT WHAT?

11. I keep hearing people saying mullets are back...uhm hello where did they go?

12. I watched the Bear on FX(Hulu), I don't see what all the hype is about. How's it 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.

13. I loved The Terminal List though.

14. I almost shit when a shot of the Doctor cost $11.

15. Michelob light is not for me. I know Digital Underground said "weekends was made for Michelob", uhm no thanks dawg.

16. I broke my slides at the beach. Think about becoming a Crocs guy.

17. Chris Leaden is looking at Jeeps.

18. Party up at Decepticon mountain next week. Hit Chrissy up for the date.

Monday, June 27, 2022


 ...and just like that it was July 4th weekend!

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Mike G is out here rocking a Mach E Mustang.

2. Speedy is alive and well.

3. If you haven't been to Jo's Notty in Hull, get there one of these weekends.

4. Oh what has Jason Foley been up too? He just bought himself a Corvette. A new to him and yeah I have no idea how he's fitting into this...

5. Chrissy out here being Dance Dad of the year. 3 straight days of recitals.

6. Speaking of Chrissy huge camper party the week of July 24th-31st.

7. Boy Band brunch was kind of a wash. Not many good tunes. The food was good though.

8. Chris Leaden is alive, we almost lost him to mowing his acre of land in a 90+ day of heat.

9. TK is on vacation this week. He's looking for some fun in the sun. Anyone wanted to do some weekday drinking look him up.

10. Chrissy had to give his dog back.

Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Longest day of the year

 Its the first official day of summer boys and girls and whoever identifies as a trash can.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. After 3 attempts, I believe we have the whole pig roast down.

2. Not really sure how BU celebrates a Sunday holiday on a Friday before but hey here we are.

3. Salsa Verde and chimichurri sauces are very underrated. 

4. Had my first $80 + gas fill up and man was that sad.

5. Replacing speakers in a Jeep sound bar may be an actual 2 person job but with a little extra time I was able to do it.

6. Miller High Life doesn't get the respect it deserves in the non light beer category.

7. The Sox are 6 games over .500 but yet still 13 1/2 back of the Yankees, who just hit the 50 win mark.

8. Congrats on a good season, Boston Celtics. Shitty ending though.

9. The camper is all signed for, it gets delivered on Wednesday and then not sure when the MacPhail's first camp ground bash is but he is up by Mt Decepticon, so lets fucking go.

10. Chris Leaden is looking for tattoo ideas for his left upper arm...shoot them his way.

11. Ever get laughed at by a stranger for a simple question? Like you aren't well versed in a particular area and just a full HA HA HA HA in ya face? Oh yeah me either!

12. I know the price of everything is going up but fuck have you see the price of meat? Steak tips are through the roof.

13. FX has some good shows. Just started the Old Man and almost done with Under the Banner of Heaven, which has True Detective season 1 vibes. (Also side note isn't that owned by Disney now?)

14. Why don't most breakfast places have an appetizer section? Is it because the food comes out so fast? I mean we get appys at lunch and dinner. What if I want a grilled corn muffin while I wait for my omlette?

Monday, June 13, 2022

Just about

 We are just about a week away from summer. Joey is having, what appears to be an annual, a pig roast on Saturday at his house. All are welcome just bring whatever you normally drink.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. It takes less than a week to get a swimming pool up and running. 

2. Chrissy may be getting a new puppy.

3. Who pulls their ass muscle pitching wiffle ball to kids?

4. Since no one has gotten back to me, so far Obi-Wan is a 4/10 for me.

5. Only in Quincy can they have a Flag day parade with fire works and almost burn a neighborhood down.

6. After a full spring season looking for and settling on a few different campers it looks like the Summer of the MacPhails is back on. Today is the day they sign on the dotted line.

7. After a sluggish start to the rental season it looks like there is only 1 week left to rent my place down the Cape, August 26th -Sept 3rd.

8. Fuck Cancer.

9. Nothing worse than when your central AC kicks the bucket...the worst Jerry the worst!

10. The Parrot in Hull has pretty good food. I was a little surprised because last time I went there it tasted like what I assume prison food tastes like. Not any more.

11. God bless the overnight shift workers. I can not ever figure out when to sleep.

12. I hope this BFF 30 pack is real deal.

See some of you guys Saturday.

Monday, June 6, 2022

Sooo sorry

 I was off last week, watching my niece and nephew, while my brother and his wife were partying up in Aruba.

This is what I learned while away:

1. Dot day was a hit as always.

2. Top Gun Maverick  was an 8/10.

3. Looks like the Celtics aren't getting any calls in this series but I am here for the ride.

4. Mother nature must have moved on from boozing to doing straight rails of coke - 90 one day 47 the next.

5. Who doesn't love a parade.

6. Guess all that galavanting around finally caught up to Mitch. Caught the Covid.

7. How are we feeling about Kenobi?

8. The Redsox  are finally at .500.

9. Chrissy killed Memorial day down the Cape. Jim Plunkett is back.

10. Someone told me mullets and mustaches are in. Like they were ever out.

11. The older I get the more I realize I have less patience.

12. Where in Florida would you move too? East coast? The northern tip? The keys? The gulf side?

13. Fucking gas at $5 a gallon is fucking bananaland.

14. Allergy, cold and covid season all intersecting in June.

15. I thought the housing market was slowing down? 

16. Who names medicines? Trintellix, Keysimpta, Simparaca trio? Like what the fuck.

17. They really need to stop making all these old timey shows. Just please stop. 

Monday, May 23, 2022

We Survived

 Saturday and Sunday were hot and now its back to business as usual.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Whole lotta ladies out here not rocking bras anymore.

2. Nothing better than free parking at the Sox game.

3. Chrissy is so happy to have met Greg Hill.

4. The Inn at Bay point is always a good time - mudslides for everyone.

5. Pretty sure TK said the Celtics in 6 and now we aren't looking that good.

6. Finally made it to the Quincy yacht club. Now I need to be come a memeber.

7. Pig roast June 18th at 33 Homer rd in Quincy.

8. Fucking chicken being on menus at Market Price is outragous.

9. Cheeseburgers on salads should be on all menus.

10. We are still waiting on computer chips?

Monday, May 16, 2022

Have a day

The weather is changing. People are smiling. Covid is ramping up and no one cares. Man life is good.

 This is what I learned this weekend:

1. The Causeway has $4 draft Coors lights. I almost shit myself when I learned that.

2. Game 6 Bruins, I was there and brought em a win.

3. Game 7 Celtics, same bat time same bat channel, another win.

4. Anyone who tells you tattoos don't hurt is lying to you.

5. Congrats to Matt and Meghan on Hank Gunner Kraemer born on 5/9/2022.

6. The MacPhails are back on the camper plan.

7. If you are in Hyannis, hit up the Knack for an awesome burger and onion rings.

8. Chrissy is killing the Sunday-Weds schedule. Daddy chauffer. Uber king. OT whore.

9. Rumor has it pig roast at Joes, Saturday June 18th.

10. My mind was blown when I found out that pistachios are fruit and not nuts.

11. All these Celts - Heats games being at 8:30 is absolute trash.

12. Biggie Brunch this Saturday at Liberty Tavern, you heard that right, Biggie Brunch!

Monday, May 9, 2022


 Still waiting for that Spring weather to drop.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. At this point in time, bars are either too hot or too cold.

2. I was shocked to find out that stores still price match for things.

3. Finally broke down and got a new lawn mower.

4. Glad to see TK survive his mini bender.

5. The summer of the MacPhails has hit a slight hiccup and may be on pause.

6. There is nothing worse than a skunk beer.

7. English muffins with peanut butter is underrated in the breakfast game.

8. Glad to see my coffee has gone up another .14 this year already.

9. Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness is just a middle of the road Marvel movie.

10. The Red Sox can't seem to buy a win now a days.

11. Went to the Cask by Fenway for the first time in probably 10 years. Did not like the vibe and do not recommend - 1/10.

12. Anytime you meet TK or Chrissy at Crossroads in Braintree just be forewarned that Chrissy will send you Bone Thugs videos till you "meet him at the Crossroads".

13. Who is going to the Free Jacks game Friday night?

14. At the very least it is grilling season.

Monday, May 2, 2022


 It may flower time bitches.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Chrissy is not a nimble person. Who falls down and twists an ankle hitting a wiffle ball?

2. No one loves the 19th Hole as much as Joe Martell.

3. Thursday, is my second favorite drinking day of the year...Cinco DeMayo!

4. Star Wars day is Wednesday.

5. I guess Maura Healy is not going om pursue the cashless Fenway Park.

6. Congrats to Mario doing all the steps in full gear this weekend.

7. Man I see so many new faces sitting on this Celtics bandwagon. One dude asked me why I don't spell my name like Derrick White.

8. Between Wordle, Quordle and Hurdle every day my brain is fighting for 5 letter words.

9. Cronin Public house on a Thursday night is lit. Fucking DJ, $1 hot dogs and $5 pizzas...freaks come out at night.

10. If you got a big yard you need to invest in a leaf vac.

11.  Who is on for a New England Free Jacks game on May 13th? Just trying to figure out a beer situation.

12. Have you ever heard your friend get mouthy and ask whoever he's mouthy too "if they want a fresh one".

Monday, April 25, 2022

oh man oh man

 Next week is the best Meme day of the year. Its Gonna be MAY!

This is what I learned this past 2 weeks:

1. Are we past covid yet or what?

2. The world is healing and people are coming back out in bunches.

3. Everyone is all of a sudden a Celtics expert.

4. Are seltzers still a thing?

5. Elbow tattoos hurt.

6. Kids are so innocent and inherently nice.

7. Anyone hear from Martell lately? Kid seems to have fallen off the face of the earth.

8. Bill Burr at Fenway, who is going?

9. Can someone please let mother nature now is the time we should start heating up the world?

10. The Cypress Hill Insane in the Brain documentary is straight fire. 

11. Chrissy and his wife have a camp ground and now a new(to them) camper. Let the summer of MacPhail begin.

12. I heard Alba roof deck is open.

13. TK is going to Alumni Wednesday night if anyone's around.

14. Bruins are in the playoffs. Celtics are in the playoffs. Red Sox look like trash.

Monday, April 11, 2022

where are you?

 Hey Spring? WHERE ARE YOU?? Are we still battling Global warming? Why is it 36 degrees.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. I ain't got time for family drama....

2. ...but if your uncle calls your aunt a fucking bitch at a surprise bday party. I am here for that.

3. I wish I had carpentry skills.

4. The Masters was overall pretty boring but man Cameron Smiths mustache and mullet, restored my faith in humanity.

5. Rumor has it Chrissy is on the wagon, but you didn't hear that from me.

6. Watching baseball so far this season(I know it has been only 3 games) but every one seems slow.

7. I hear people ramping up to jump both feet on the Celtics bandwagon.

8. Mikey T is gonna have a 2 on 2 pick up game tournament of dunk hoop at his house this summer. Start stretching.

9. TK is gonna start looking for a place down in the St. Pete/Tampa Bay area.

10. Good Luck Brittany Boyce on the marathon next Monday.

11. Have you been to Home Depot or Lowes lately?  Their shelves are less stocked than the super market.

12. BJ's gas used to be 10 cents less as a member now its only 5.

See you all next week at the Marathon.

Thursday, April 7, 2022

Donate to Mario

Mario Long is at it again. Raising money for a great cause.

 The Fight For Air Climb is about the challenge of stair-climbing.

But it's also about . . .

  • coming together to promote clean air and healthy lungs
  • helping those who need it most
  • stepping toward a future free of lung disease

Join our team or support us with a donation.

Your donation supports lifesaving research, education and advocacy on behalf of the nearly 37 million Americans with lung disease.

Donate here

Monday, April 4, 2022

April Showers

It looks like rain all week long. So hopefully this will let my grass seed grow.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Cougars are out and about on Sundays, looking for prey.

2. Fucking Boyce hitting $1350 on Keno.

3. Speaking of Boyce, his wife is running the marathon and she has been doing raffles on social media if you are interested in sponsoring her.

4. Drag Brunch happens at Cagney's every other weekend.

5. Moon Knight is crazy!

6. "Fuck Face" isn't used enough.

7. Tough loss for the Uconn ladies but not as tough as the Duke loss and Coach K.

8. Nothing makes me smile more than Chrissy ordering the hottest wings at DJs and asking for the extra wet and the look on the servers face always makes me happy.

9. Sometimes you just need a brownie sundae for dinner.

10. Who doesn't love a Saturday night phone call from your bank telling you someone is trying to book an Air B & B in California, with your credit card.

11. Lets all hope TK is enjoying his fun in the sun, Florida vacation.

12. Red Sox season kicks off Thursday, at 1:05 vs the Yankees.

13. I heard HK Dave is trying to rally a trip to see Limp Bizkit, Tuesday May 10th.

14. We are all on board for the World Cup right? 

Monday, March 28, 2022

April fools

Mother nature is killing it. Snowing on a Monday in late March! Tonight it gets down to the teens...Ill have what she is having.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. The Rock Harbor Grill is great.

2. Its great to see people out golfing already.

3. So far it has only been one episode but Halo is movie quality.

4. Moon Knight starts Wednesday. Praying for the best.

5. Welchie still hasn't seen The Batman yet. What gives bro?

6. Are we going tom talk about the Will Smith smack or we all just agree he is broken.

7. Marathon Monday Sox game is a go.

8. I was not born to be a mason.

9. I hope everyone decides not to vote for whoever voted against suspending the gas tax.

10. Apparently, Quincy bought the Furnace Brook Golf club.  Lets go.

Monday, March 21, 2022

Spring has sprung

 It was good to see so many people at the parade in Scituate this past Sunday. It appears that people are moving on from Covid.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Coast guard helicopter kicked off the parade in Southie then the Scituate parade.

2. Venison tenderloin is where its at.

3. Apparently the Fowler House is the home bar for the New England Free Jacks. I don't know shit about rugby.

4. Glad I got to see Gavin this weekend.

5. French toast for dinner should be a thing year round and not just during Lent.

6. 100 fucking oysters! Leaden is an animal.

7. Nothing wakes you up at bar like someone spilling a whole drink on your lap.

8. If you want to be summer neighbors with Mario's father in law, this place is available.

9. Anyone else have their brackets busted?

10. If you sleep for 12 hours is that a mini coma?

11. When is Chrissy first party up at the trailer?

12. Paddy Barrys on St Paddys day was off the chains.

Monday, March 14, 2022

Happy St Paddys

 St Paddys is Thursdays. Parades are Sunday. Guinness will be flowing!

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Eggplant rollatini is  fire.

2. Brady is back.

3. KG is up in the rafters.

4. I heard people are playing Wheres Waldo with Fauci!

5. Vincenzo the brick layer.

6. Being sick balows.

7. Don't look now but rumor has it TK is heading to Scituate Sunday.

8. Baseball is back but opening day has been switched.

Monday, March 7, 2022

Spring ahead

 Get ready bitches because we spring ahead this weekend.

The sun is shining, birds are chirping and snow piles are a melting.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. You can still smoke cigarettes at bars in PA even if food is being served. YUCK

2. Sports betting isn't really my jam.

3. The Batman was the best one yet. I loved it. Would 100% see it again. Most comic book accurate.

4. Wait, Tooma, your blood pressure is 190 over 120? How haven't you had a stroke yet?

5. If ya happen to be in NJ hit up the Tabor Road Tavern.

6. Also if you plan on visiting Tooma, just plan your trip and bring him along. After 10 years you would think he knows the places to visit...he doesn't.

7. The Pittston St. Paddys day parade was lit. At least the people were. I have never seen so many people that drunk before 1pm.

8. No bid deal, just a double shooting at the hotel around the corner from us this weekend.

9. Bears Smokehouse in New Haven is fucking dope as fuck. Brewery, BBQ, outdoor fire pits and bean bag toss.

10. I am on the look out for a shuffle board table. See one send one.

11. Rumor has it Jeffrey is looking for a new Truck - now the race is on between Leaden and him to see who gets one first.

12.TK told me the Yarmouth St. Paddys day parade has 25,000 people.

13. Guess everyone needs to step up their selfie game.

14. When you are traveling, the estimated time is just a suggestion right? Like you are trying to shave at least 10 minutes off right?

15. Look No Masks!!

Monday, February 28, 2022

The world is going to hell

 in a hand basket and I just want to kick back with a 30 pack and watch.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. TK runs on TK time. So Noon means 2 pm.

2. The old Hearth and Kettle in Weymouth is now Grill 151 and the foods pretty damn good.

3. I am not going to lie, not sure the last time I went to Timberlanes, but they cleaned that place up nicely.

4. Pull tabs are still a thing and I am here for it.

5. Why pay for 2 day shipping when snow messes it up and so far its 4 days late?

6. A 3 bar pub crawl with a bus included sounds silly as all hell.

7. Hulu has some new movie out, No Exit, and it is getting all these rave reviews. Its a very bad B list movie (this coming from someone who likes B movies).

8. Do people still say "getting your dick wet"? Oh cool.

9. When did everything become so politically charged? Like everything? Was it social media?

10. The new Batman movie comes out this Friday and I know people are not nearly as excited as I am for it.

11. March Madness will be back in a few weeks and man it feels like the world is slowly healing.

12. Is this Ukraine situation the start of WW3 or Cold war 2?

Tuesday, February 22, 2022


Today is 2/22/22 - can numbers be palindromes?

This is what I learned in the past 2 weeks:

1. The St Pattys day parade in Scituate is Sunday, March 20th.

2. Rumor has it, there is a planned tripped to visit Tooma the first weekend in March. Chris Leaden is in charge.

3. Tool was the best sounding show I have ever been too. Not the best overall show but man did it sound great.

4. Brunching on a Sunday is where I am at.

5. Has anyone done their taxes yet?

6. Heard Welchie reset his chi at the salt caves.

7. Wait the vaccine passport system is shut down in Boston after 5 weeks? Who would have known?

8. Green bubble life...just ordered a new Samsung Galaxy S22.

9. Pegging ya pants is back. First it was earrings on guys and now its pegging ya pants. What's old is new again.

10. After over 2 years the State House is finally re-open.

11. I really can't keep up with Mother Nature. I think that bitch is free basing at this point.

12. Prayers up for Chrissy, having a biopsy on some skin.

13. Fucking $25 for 2 beers at Banners!! I almost shit myself.

14. Is there any actual plan to start moving on from Covid being an Emergency? Not being an ass just an actual question. Are we just going to be living in perpetual masking and boostering from now until Bill Gates' predicted next pandemic. Remind me why we are taking advice from him again?

15. TK found Crossroads in Braintree and now has a new favorite Friday day drinking spot.

16. The Harp has not changed one bit in 20 years. Think Kristen and the Noise are playing next weekend after the Zoo.

17. Wordle and Quordle. I mean what a time to be alive!

18. Whats going on in Canada is crazy as all get the fuck out. 

Monday, February 7, 2022

So more winter?

I know that the rodent down in Punxsutawney said more winter but I already told you TK said less winter so snow until April 27th. LOCK IT UP!

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Chrissy hates John Mayer, with a passion, and I don't know why.

2. I guess Bezos didn't make enough money during the pandemic, Amazon is going up $20.

3. Well I binged Reacher and I enjoyed every second. If you read the books the show is more inline with that than the Tom Cruise movies.

4. If you haven't watched the Tinder Swindler on Netflix, like whoa.

5. Shh don't forget Welchies Bday is Thursday and Jeffreys is Sunday. So as always party like its your own.

6. Just found out that even the Cape has a fucking St. Pattys day parade.

7. Congrats to Mario on the B Fit challenge in 18 minutes and 20 seconds.

8. Have you ever read Alice in Wonderland? Would you get an Alice in wonderland themed tattoo/sleeve?

9. Speaking of tattoos, I heard a whole back piece is about 40 hours. Just saying!

10. Rumor has it Joe Martell is not going on the wagon but is stopping going out to drink.

Monday, January 31, 2022

B Fit


BFit Challenge powered by National Grid

New Fundraiser Created: Mario Long

BFit Challenge powered by National Grid

Race DateSunday February 6, 2022

Race LocationBoston, MA 02114 US

Thank you for creating a fundraiser for this race.

Please send the following link to those who wish to make a donation towards your fundraiser: