Monday, March 23, 2015


I know I missed blogging last week but I was off for a few days and then when I came back to work I didn't feel like it.

This is what I learned while I was away:
1. Team Trivia is alive and well at the bars.
2. I saw a bunny hopping down the street so that made me think that spring is around the corner.
3. My neighbor Karen is the queen of Google.
4. Charles V Grillo is running for constable of Natick.
5. Anyone know of a good scotch to drink for under $50? I think I need something to sip.
6. Chrissy may be trying for a 3rd child...good luck. then the vasectomy.
7. Day drinking is the best drinking.
8. Mario had to reaffirm to me that god is dead.
9. The Bruins are shitting the bed, the Celtics are coming back down to earth. What is going on here?
10. Its grilling season bitches!
11. There are rumors a March madness trip is in the works for next years tourney down in the Bahamas.
12.The St Pattys day parade for Scituate is April 12th, hope you bitches got that on your calenders. TK is supposed to be in one of the clown cars this year.
13. I have had this one black head zit for over a month and I can not get rid of it.
14. Wrestlemania party this Sunday as always bitches. Hope you guys make it
15. Always remember it doesn't cost a thing to be nice to anyone.
16. If you could have any iconic car from any TV show what would you go with? I am thinking the A-Team van for this guy.
17. Anyone know any good land surveyors?
18. Is baseball really 14 days away?
19. Since when did car leases become 48 months?
20. Rob finally paid me my monies!

That's all I got for now.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to the only person, on god's green earth, who could possibly put up with Chrissy's shit - Alison Ann MacPhail.

Some famous people she shares her birthday with?
1. Bobby Orr - Hockey Legend
2. Fred Rogers - We all lived in the land of make believe
3. Spike Lee - Famous Knicks fan or a director
4. Holly Hunter - Mrs Incredible herself
5. Kathy Ireland - Coincidence that Chrissy crushed her so hard growing up, I think Not
6. Mannie Fresh - Cash Money Records Homie
7. Michael Rappaport - Best thing in Metro
8. William Hurt - Osccar award winner
9. Nick Blood - Swoon ladies, that accent makes the panties drop
10. Chester Bennington - Lead singer of Linkin Park, The New Stone Temple Pilots and Dead by Sunrise.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Heat wave

Look at this we are gonna have 5 days over 35... talking bout a heat wave.

This is what I learned this weekend (12 pack version):
1. The spicy omelette sandwich from Dunks isn't that spicy.
2. Boston Suburbs - Does yours suck?
3. Some weekends you just need a sweatpants, T shirt and couch day.
4. Thanks Boston Bruins for ONLY going up 2 dollars a ticket next  year.
5. Congrats to Coach Ervin Flowers and the Cathedral High boys team for making the championship game, tonight at the Garden, 4:00 pm start if you want to show your support. Cathedral Alum TK will probably be there.
6. This whole Android 5.0 lollipop operating system kind of sucks.
7. Red Sox opening day is only 28 days away. Maybe when baseball actually starts, we can all feel like winter is over.
8. Star Wars is getting its first LGBT character.
9. For all you dog lovers.
10. Bill Smiddy is gonna be a Boston cop?
11. I am bringing back the term "shit stain", you fucking bunch of shit stains.
12. BU vs Merrimack Friday night at Agganis arena, Hockey East quarter final. Who wants to go?

Thats all she wrote for now.

Chrissy is planning a trip to NC to see Mike Foley if anyone wants in...text Chrissy at 617-835-6437.

Monday, March 2, 2015

March is here

So basically the snow has postponed both St. Patricks day parades? We are only 3.5 inches from the all time record of snow fall.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Chrissy is having a party on March 29th, for Wrestlemania.
2. The Causeway has some great food.
3. I know a guy who doesn't use google because he speaks 50% truths or 50% half truths.
4. Chrissy is killing the Uber, so much so that his wife got him working the corner like a modern day hooker.
5. Shots always a great idea, until the next day.
6. This is a bacon cheeseburger with an egg on a french toast bun that Chrissy had at Fire and Ice:

7. Should I be askeered the Bruins haven't sent out anything about next years tickets?
8. I take the time during Lent to try different seafood/fish.
9. All this snow has Ronin becoming an escape artist:
                                        (that is my front lawn)
10. Have you seen Our Little Family, yet?
11. The Rattlesnake has been totally renovated and has some crazy menu.
12. Somehow my nephew signed up for my phone to get free kids downloads every week. Every friday I get a new AP that says Julians free ap.

Monday, February 23, 2015

I need a vacation

I need a nice warm place that serves me mixed drinks by a pool. Who is coming with me??

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Chrissy is not making it to the Wrestlemania party. He has his fantasy baseball draft.
2. Jeffrey will not be able to make it to the 1st Annual Tofuri St. Pattys day party. He has a 2 year old birthday party.
3. Welchie has moved his house search further down the South shore and is looking in Braintree.
4. The bar at the Elks is way cleaner than the one at the Eagles. I mean like night and day.
5. That Bruno Mars song Uptown Funk is this years Happy. I just want to shoot myself everytime it is on.
6. Chinese food buffets are where it is at.
7. Mario has a frozen line in his house. He is gonna need a plumber.
8. I gave up beef for Lent. Wish me luck.
9. How are your roofs holding up? Ice damn city.
10. Has anyone kidnapped Punxatwny Phil yet? I can not deal with 6 more weeks of this.
11. That poker game that the lottery has is lame.
12. Whats up with this new Dr Suess book? How do you just stumble upon a new manuscript?

Pray for my sanity with all this fucking snow.

Sorry its only a quick 12 pack but works fucking busy as fuck!!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015


I hope all you crazy mofo's celebrated Valentines day with chocolates and flowers or whatever makes your girlfriend or boyfriend happy.

Sorry this is a day late, I don't even have an excuse that yesterday was Presidents day, but work has been busy as all fuck.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Foreigner put on the best show I have ever seen for free, sounded great and they looked old.
2. Supah P says periods taste like rusty nails, uhm of course it does P blood is all  iron.
3. Of course Fred and Steves was booked up the day before Valentines.
4. Going to bed at 8:30 and waking up refreshed ain't no thing, even if I feel like I am 80.
5. I can see why people go to Florida for the winter. Fuck all this snow.
6. I know I will buy a snow blower and we will never get snow again, and I am fine with all that.
7. Uber must be paying Chrissy really well. Haven't heard a peep from him since Friday.
8. Tim Brights father's fund raiser was post poned till this Sunday, 1-5 at the Weymouth Elks. I know some of you bitches love meat raffles.
9. Android has updated their operating systems to lolipop 6.0
10. You know how they say everything comes in 3's? Well shit work is upta 5's.
11. If you aren't watching Gotham then you probably hate all things Batman.
12. Really, the T wont be back up to speed for 30 days? That's a kick in the dick.
13. There is so much snow in my back hard that my dogs can walk over the fence and escape. Fun times!
14. This years cold remedy seems to be Alka Seltzer cold day and night.

Thats all I have time for today.

Monday, February 9, 2015

let it snow!!

I don't know if you fools have seen this yet but it makes me laugh everytime I see it:

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Nothing annoys me more than plows driving around and NOT ACTUALLY plowing!
2. What are the rules for removing your hat for the national anthem? Do you have to remove it for the Canadian version? Do ladies have to remove their hats? What about winter caps? I remove for all.
3. There is a walk way and a fire hydrant that have both been shoveled numerous times:
                               Peek a Boo!

4. Vinyl siding quotes are all over the map, like whats the deal?
5. Has anyone heard from Rob Knudsen? Kid seems to be MIA!
6. Steven Whitley is afraid of Twin Rivers and actually hates free Foreigner tickets.
7. When Coke shuts down due to the weather, they force Chrissy to take an unpaid day off. How Shitty!
8. Nothing is worse than not being able to breathe while you are trying to sleep, while nursing a head cold.
9. Jeffrey has a strange addiction to Angelos in Quincy. Only place he ever wants to grab lunch.
10. So Brian Williams lied and people are acting like he is drowning kittens in the bathtub on live TV. How is it surprising that anyone in the news media lies?
11. How come no one is really speaking on Bruce Jenner's transformation? I mean does he want to be a lady because he was in a house full of ladies?
12. On the subject of transgenders, I read that they want to use  "They" instead of Mr, Miss or Mrs. What gives. Aren't they transitioning from one to the other.
13. If you are looking for a new Bruins shirt you may want to try this - Pastrnasty!
14. Even if you are a "winter" person, you can not be happy with 67 inches in 2 weeks.

Hope to see you guys Friday for Jeffreys birthday celebration at Twinnies  for Fred and Steves, Foreigner and gambling.

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Pats Win

How long does a Super Bowl win hangover last?

This is what I learned over the weekend:
1. Jeffrey makes bomb ass dips!
2. People are loosey goosey when it comes to paying off debt but as soon as they win some money they want it within an hour.
3. Driving during a blizzard is scary as fuck.
4. Everyone respects a ninja move.
5. Where are people standing during this rolling rally parade?
6. Twin Rivers makes you drive down to get a voucher to come back and get your free tickets to a show. LAME!!
7. What? Yes, Lauren Brady blew off Chrissy and Alisons Super bowl soiree.
8. Rumor has it Tom Newton is getting married again!!
9. I am starting a gofundme page for Tom Kelly. he has a broken computer key board so he is mising letters and is always ammered.
10. Chrissy is the 1st person I know who has his taxes already booked.
11. Harper Lee has a new book comimg out.
12. Calnan lives to rile up Grillo. If he ever goes missing check out CVG 1st.

Sorry I gotta run with all this snow.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Yes! Yes! Yes!

I am 3 days late with my blog but I have a valid excuse. Due to snowmaggedon 2015 work has been really busy. I have been working strange hours and my street has been flooding  but enough about me onto things I have learned.

This is what I learned in the last week plus:

1. Driving in white out conditions is nerve racking.
2. Garth Brooks puts on one hell of a fucking show.

3. Mortons opens at 5:00 on Saturday nights.
4. Jeffrey is a gentleman when you buy him dinners and drinks.
5. No one likes shoveling.
6. Dropping your phone in this white fluffy snow is scary. That shit sinks to the bottom.
7. Chrissy has now resorted to texting my coworkers about why I have not updated the blog.
8. Calnan lives for days of couch time with his cats (The APEX PREDATOR AS HE CALLS THEM) and red wine.
9. Nothing beats chili on a cold Sunday.
10. Who knew that so many people like those Mich Ultra cactus lime beers?
11. The city of Quincy does not take your Christmas tree 3 weeks after Christmas - oopsie.
12. Mark Welch is out for his own Bday bash celebration at Twin Rivers for Steaks, Foreigner and gambling.
13. Supah P hates country music, dude would rather take a block sander to his ball bag.
14. TK had the best sleep of the last 27 years during this storm.
15. This is why you have flood insurance:

16. How many times can the New Kids go on tour again? And how many times would someone want to see them?
17. What is worse the NFL  Pro Bowl or the NHL All star game?
18. Anyone have a rough idea of the cost for vinyl siding per square foot, installed? Asking for a buddy of mine named Derek.
19. Boston Ballistic Hot sauce is a local hot sauce  made in Bridgewater. Buy local mother fuckers.
20. Have you caught 12 Monkeys on Syfy yet? It is only 2 episodes in but I love how fucked up it seems to be.
21. Chrissy is now an UBER driver.
22. Jeffrey is trying to come up with thousandaire ideas and looking for people to join his think tank.

This is all I have time for today. I am sorry but this storm is making work a wee bit busier than the normal.

Monday, January 19, 2015

I have a dream...

Happy Martin Luther King day!

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. A 4 hour game of Asshole is always recommended at any party. DOUBLES NEVER BEAT SINGLES!
2. Molson XXX is legit as fuck!
3. Jeffrey found a Brazilian guy to lay his floor for $175 a day. STEAL!
4. Start the Superbowl party planning people.
5. Welchie and his wife are still looking for a house, then plans for a baby.
6. Calnan is trying to get Anonymous to shut down this blog. Basically he hates  reading.
7. Supah P is alive and happy in love. He unified the Yankee Regift pictures going around.
8. Anyone know a good kitchen designer?
9. Marios home made Lemonchello burns the senses.
10. You know you are getting old when sitting on the floor, criss cross applesauce, and you are achy the next day.
11. It's Superbowl Square season people. Mikey T likes to be in on all squares.
12. Rumor has it Tooma is on his way back to Mass!!
13. Lauren Brady is alive and well. Looking for Mr Right now still.
14. A. Should I have the Mustache Pub crawl for an 8th year? B. Should I move it to the 1st week of May?
15. If you have a party make sure you have Buffalo Chicken dip there.
16. I am not gonna be posting the 5 things I hate at this moment anymore. Apparently, it makes me sound like a bitter old man.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Late to the party...

I know i'm a little late with this review since its been out for a couple months but since I don't drink coffee, I don't go to Dunkin Donuts.  But finally tried the croissant donut that has been all the rage.  It was light,
fluffy and tasty but not all that its been led to believe.  Definitely not worth 2.5 times the price of a regular donut.  Waste of money if you ask me. Man this is 2 bad reviews in a row.

Suck it Smiddy !!

Monday, January 12, 2015

We all need help,

in one way or another. Some people are too proud to ask or just too stubborn.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. KKaties has 1/2 priced wings and trivia on Monday nights. Why haven't we done this yet?
2. The Border cafe is cheap as fuck.
3. The Equalizer was a pretty dope ass movie.
4. Mike G is alive, he has a house rented for snow mobiling if anyones interested. He is also planning a night out at Foxwoods.
5. Little know fact that Jeffrey is great at changing windshield wipers and changing a flat in record time.
6. Chrissy is way into reviewing things for the blog. He sent me a review of the croissant donut. I will post it later so that its not buried.
7. Refinancing your home shouldn't be all that stressful.
8. I heard a rumor that Mike Foley is really settling into that NC life and isn't planning to come home.
9. Anyone have any home remedies or anything to get wine out of a rug??
10. Sometimes the weekend doesn't seem long enough.
11. Is anyone having a superbowl party?
12. Mario throws one hell of a bender. TK should of made the trip to the North shore.
13. Jeffrey it's ok to let everyone know you are drinking Bud heavy now.
14. Squares! Squares! Squares!
15. Looks like there will be a new Dot Day bowl off champion. Steven Whitley is in a league and can no longer participate.
16. Shrimp and stuffed cherry peppers are in the bloody Marys at Stars.

This is what I hate right now:
1. People who break plans.
2. Why you try something new at your favorite place to eat and it sucks.
3. The god damn hiccups.
4. When I am sweating but my feet are cold as hell.
5. Overtalkers, as in people who talk over you to try and prove their point.

Hope you guys can make the 5th annual Whitley yankee regift party this Saturday at 5

Monday, January 5, 2015

A new year

So lets see it is 2015 and I am sure plenty of people have made resolutions. Have you? Are you sticking with them?

This is what I have learned so far in 2015:
1. Karaoke up at the Cathay Center is like American Idol.
2. Is there any better feeling than hitting Keno?
3. Jeffreys birthday is in February on Friday the 13th. Foreigner is playing at Twinnies. Coincidence?
4. Mikey T is looking for an electrician to do some side work. Know any?
5. Is $500 for 2 $200 squares and open bar and food too much?
6. Meat raffle! Every Saturday! 4:00! Nuff said

7. A little confidence goes along way.
8. Its superbowl square season. Which is one of my favorite seasons.
9. Everyone loves the go pro cameras. EVERYONE!
10. Jeffrey may be more into snap chat than Chrissy.
12. Anyone need some baby sitting jobs? Chrissy is looking for some Saturday baby sitting for the next 3 months

This is what I hate right now:
1. People with the post holiday blues.
2. Mushrooms!
3. Mother fuckers who don't text back.
4. All these fancy new mayonnaises. It is still just mayo!
5. Everyone who cuts in line. Like dipshit you think I am just standing here for the fuck of it?

Popeyes Ghost Pepper wings

I love Popeye's and everyone knows I love hot wings, so when I saw a commercial that they combined them I was pumped. I got 12 ghost pepper wings and although the chicken itself was great I was a little disappointed in the heat level. I wasn't expecting crazy hot,  I figured they would mellow it out even using the ghost pepper but this was barely hotter than their spicy flavor they usually have.  Maybe its because its a dry rub and not a sauce but you can save the time of running out to get these.

Thats how you review a place Smiddy!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014


TMX recap of the season is here!!

What a wild ride!! We had new players and we had some players leave midseason, there were more trades than ever and in the end we had a great final day/ DMC owner bday celebration!! Sierra missts for everyone!! The final week had our lowest scores with Slippery Wizards finish the season with a win with 125pts!! The fight for the money came down to the last week and the top three were Slippery Wizards, Black Dynomite and DMC. As is the custom the season review will be with hits from the greatest era the 80s( Iggles with the assist on the songs). Here are the final standings

1.Slippery Wizards
2. Black Dynomite................................134pts
3. DMC................................................172pts
4. Beachbums.......................................255pts
5. FYW.................................................286pts
6. Tony Gonzalez...................................359pts
7. The Jackals........................................377pts
8. Supah Ps............................................487pts
9. Voodoothatyoudo.................................594pts
10. Grahamatron......................................633pts

Now onto the 80's hit that best describes the season for each team as TMX saw it.

Slippery Wizards - WALKING ON SUNSHINE- Katrina and the waves. Somehow from week 3 on they were able to run the table with a team led by Matt Ryan and trading position players for Defenses.  Slippery Wizards constantly tried to trade his "target monster" Keenan Allen and Julio Jones and somehow was able to turn Julius Thomas and Foles into under performing (at the time) Demaryius Thomas and Gronk. Seemed like every move they put out there worked, the old saying horseshoe up his ass comes to  mind except they may have had the whole horse! Just cruised to the title and walking on sunshine the whole way.

Black Dynomite - Headed for a Heartbreak- Winger. How else can you explain the self proclaimed "wagon" who had a great team stacked with Manning, Charles, Bell ( mvp??), Olsen ( sneaky great tight end) and what looked like enough to run the table. After taking congrat on winning the season in week two it seemed a heartbreak was going to happen with all the hype. BD did make it to the money and won several weeks but in the end there has to be disappointment considering he had the extra picks at the draft and missed a great opportunity to run away with the league.

DMC- Smooth Criminal- Michael Jackson. The Dmc team was a two trick pony just hanging around the top for a while but he knew there was a chance Rodgers/Jordy may not be enough to finish in the money so he crafted some of the biggest trade rapes TMX has ever seen! Somehow picking up (at the time) the top wr in Antonio Brown and the top rb Demarco Murray (mvp?). Smooth criminal INDEED!!  The deals may not have put DMC on top but it got him close and definitely kept him in the money.  Tmx supports making any and all trades to help your team and it takes two to tangle so I'm sure the teams that gave up on their stars thought they did the right thing. Nice try DMC almost moonwalked to third place you crafty bastard.

BeachBums - Glory Days - Bruce Springsteen. Man the Beachbums had and off year and after the halfway point were real quiet wondering if they were at hope staring in the war room that built all those magical teams humming glory days. "throw that speedball by you, make you look like a fool" BBums still were their usual leader in the transactions but it was an odd year with them not in first for a portion of the season. Lets hope they rebound and come back to contention next year.

FYW - Nothing but a good time - Poison. How else can you explain FYW ( name change never explained to TMX)? They continued to just roll through the league hanging around the money while playing players on the IR and picking up guys and plugging them in and getting 3 tds games. One big party over there without a care in the world team was built for the 80s!!

Tony Gonzalez - Bust a move- Young MC- The self proclaimed man who brought trading to the league!! What other 80s hits fits?? "dont just stand there, bust a move" TG/noromo made moves on top of moves and the Dez move may have backfired (all about the Benjamins) but he didn't stop and was able to climb close to contention despite losing draft picks. Not the greatest season but not the disaster it was looked to be at the draft.

The Jackals - Big Shot - Billy Joel. New comer to the league came in both guns blazing (wins his other leagues i'm sure) Taunted the league with Shady before pulling the trigger on what turned out to be a good deal. "had to be a big shot didnt cha" was all talk when he was on top but got real quiet til called out and put up the bet with TG/noromo. He lost the bet and probably learned a lesson in the process. Welcome to a real league Jackals.

 Supah P's Dangerzone - Kenny Loggins- Wow scary season for Supahs. Coming off the dress the supah p's were in the bottom for most of the season fighting for their lives! DANGERZONE.  They held strong and actually clinched 8th place early enough to relax somewhat. If they could get a wr who could score over 10pts who knows what would've been!!

Voodoothatyoudo - Eyes without a face - Billy Idol. Took over the team midway through from "Prison eyes" Voodoo tried everything to revamp a roster that he didnt create, "eyes without a face, faaaaaaaaaace" even trading the best rb for pennies on the dollar! Hopefully he comes back with a roster he builds and likes and with a real team name! Welcome aboard.

Grahamatron - Dont stop believing - Journey. What a rough season for Grahamatron. Only advice TMX has is don't stop believing!! Gotta trust your players, making a quick trade of three starters seemed to seal the Gramatrons fate.  Grahamatron will be back as they always are and I'm sure wont be a back to back dress wearer.

   It was a great season as it always is and TMX had a blast reporting it. Special thanks to drunknothings for its help in the blogs and Wes Cash for investigative reporting. The end of the season party was fun maybe next year the whole league shows ( aimed at you Rob and Skza). Next season draft date is August 22 and as always we will fight over where to have it but it will take place and hopefully not be a 5 hour affair!! Thanks to the commish for runnng the league and making sure the everyone is paid. Congrats to the winners and to the losers be better next year. Winners win.

TMX OUT til next year.

Monday, December 29, 2014

2014 is almost gone

Thanks for all the Birthday wishes yesterday and from what I can remember I had a drunk ass time.

This is what I learned this weekend?
1. Chrissy likes to drink like its his birthday on everyones birthday.
2. There shouldn't be kids at bars, apparently.
3. Who doesn't like buffalo chicken dip?
4. Dave and Doe are up and they dont visit. Julie Nickerson is home and she don't visit. Mike Foley is around and can't meet up? What gives? Do you  hate us?
5. Rio's friends are cray cray!
6. Eggplant Rolitini is the jam.
7. Some days Its crazy to think I have been doing this little blog since 2008.
8. Little kids really don't care what they get for xmas as long as they get to unwrap things.
9. Jeffrey is looking at starting a Christmas eve swap of some kind. Any suggestions? So Far gift card swap and as seen on TV swap have been mentioned.
10. Dont forget the yankee regift party is scheduled for January 17th, hope you can bring an unwanted gift.
11. The guy who works at Imperial Terrace may legit want to have sexual relations with Chrissy.
12. Congrats to the Slippery Wizards on their 2nd ADSL championship.
13. Heart burn is the worst thing ever. Well besides herpes.
14. Has anyone heard from Smiddy? I asked to hang out with him and he was a no call no show.
15. Is anyone having a house party for New Years eve?
16. Chiefdude didn't know I had an OCD with numbers.

Hope everyone has a great end of the year. See you in 2015

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Week 16 TMX review

(Due to the holiday season and everyone travelling or getting bombed , we have the the owner of the Dirty Moon Crickets here as a guest writer so lets do this)

TMX here with their week 16 review.

We didn't see the scoring that we had become accustom to in week 16. No one really went off and as usual if different teams played other players then they may of won the week, we are looking at you Beach Bums with Manny Sanders on the bench.

First place was DMC with 147 as the two trick pony was not shut out for a second straight week. Second was the Slippery Wizards with 133 as Mike Evans let them down. Third was Beach Bums with 119 points, considering they had the Bench mob this week you may of wanted to use some of those 115 bench points. Fourth was That Voodoo that you Do with 114 points, yes you read that right as Christmas came early for the team on their 4th name. Fifth this week, and at this point just looking for a weekly win as they are locked in at 8th place, was the Supah Ps with 112 points. Being bailed out by Russel Wilson's 45 burger and sixth place was NoRomo with 108. Black Dynamite comes in at 7th overall his team just under preformed this week. Eighth place with 100 points on the dot was the Jackals (or is it Jason's Jackals), Drew Brees just shitting the bed at the wrong time. Ninth place due to Andrew Luck's 0.36 points was FYW with 95. Coming in last for the week is Grahmatron with 94 points, no one knows what happened to the "Painter" - Kerwynn Williams and his 2 carries for 4 yards.

As we head into the last week of the season the Slippery Wizards extended their lead over Black Dynamite by 31 points - from 97 to 128, The Beach Bums and FYW swapped 4th and 5th place and the battle for the dress/beer bitch just went from 14 points to 41. There is also a $30 scratch ticket on the line between NoRomo and the Jackals with only 11 points separating the 2 teams (Knowing that Foley lost his super bowl match up in his other league he may beat a puppy if he loses this bet).                        

Here are the standings heading into the final week:
                                                        points behind
BLACK DYNAMITE                                     128
DIRTY MOON CRICKETS                          164
Beach Bums Na-Nu-Na-Nu                             244
FYW                                                                  265
NOROMO                                                        344
THE JACKALS                                                355
THE SUPAH PS                                               447
Voodoo That You Do                                       588
GRAHAMATRON                                         629

Other than the $75 for the weekly winners the overall prizes are
1st place $900
2nd place $450
3rd place $225

Now normally this is where TMX calls the players on each winning and losing team but we tried a few and they are all out shopping for their wives, girlfriends, kids or mistresses (Sorry Arian didn't know you were at Tiffanies) so we called SANTA and let him know whats on each teams wish list:

Hey Santa whats up? This is TMX and I know we have been on and off the naughty list over the years, fucking IGGLES,  but this is a serious call. I just want you to know what each team is asking for this Christmas.

Grahamatron is looking for a running back to play a whole game and get over 10 points to help him out of the basement.
Voodoo That You Do is hoping for a new pair of sneakers since beer bitch is a whole lot of walking to and from the bar.
The Supah Ps is looking for a partner who would actually show up, pay attention to the league and make fantasy football fun again.
The Jackals are looking  for an ESPN insider subscription. He is in so many leagues and has so much action on Sundays this can only help. Plus his recent job change made him take a huge hit in the wallet.
NoRomo wanted me to let you know he wants a Christmas Miracle, then winked at me. Im assuming she is on the naughty list and works at Alex's.
FYW said he would just like a TE that catches passes and doesn't block.
Beach Bums Na-Nu-Na-Nu would like this to be turned into a keeper league. He doesn't want anyone else to own ODB EVER.
Dirty Moon Crickets wants to turn his 2 trick pony into a 3 ring circus. Anyone stepping up would help.
Black Dynamite would like you to pay off their Layaway at Kmart oh and if you could let Payton Manning find strength in his right arm they would appreciate it.
The Slippery Wizards would just like Gronk to play a solid 1st half of the game on Sunday.

I don't think that is too much to ask for from a bunch of grown men, Santa.

OH TMX, I will do my best for all you fools but it is Christmas time, why don't you guys call me in August before the draft I may be I can help you guys then.

OK thanks again Santa.

There you have it,  the last week of fantasy is upon us. The waiver wire and crazy pick ups will be happening tonight and we will be at Coops on Sunday to watch the games and have some questions answered:
Will the Slippery Wizards hold on to 1st
How will Black Dynamite, DMC, Beach Bums and FYW end up shaking out.
How bad does the Jackals want that $30 scratchie.
Who wears a dress and who gets the leagues beers at next season draft?

I hope you all have a very merry Christmas

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Xmas week

So I didn't post yesterday. Its the holiday season, so open your heart and have some compassion. This is also a quick hitter 12 pack  since I got drinking and shopping to do.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The new Hobbit film isn't as good as the other 2 but it is a good ending to the trilogy.
2. You win some and you lose some about $5000 worth.
3. The casino hustler is real.
4. Yes, he lives in a casino but Tooma is alive and kicking and making it do what it do.
5. Whats your percentage? As in what is the percentage of people you WOULD NOT FUCK? A friend of mine is rocking an 8%.
6. If you are ever in NJ you have to have a burger at The Tabor road Tavern. Best fucking burger ever! I believe Chrissy called it meat candy.
7. It is the 23rd and I still have not finished all my shopping. UGGGHH....more drinks I guess
8. Why does a simple hair cut make you feel so much better.
9. Brandon Weeden is still a bum.
10. I am sad that Rondo got traded for basically a bag of balls.
11. The MacPhails  no longer have cable.
12. I am pretty sure I contracted some sort of sickness at the casino.

This week I am spreading holiday cheer - so no things I hate right now but rather 5 things I am grateful for:
1. All my family and friends.
2. A roof over my head.
3. The ability to grow facial hair.
4. The fact that I can laugh at myself.
5. Obviously each and every person who stops by to read my useless rants.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Week 15 review

TMX here with the week 15 review!

Another wild week with top qbs like Stafford (12pts), Manning (15pts) and Rodgers (6pts!!) really let teams down! This season has been wild and it continues that way as we head to the final two weeks!! There were no changes in the standings for the first time in a while as Slippery Wizards is trying to hold off the wagon and Grahamatron is trying to climb out of the cellar, the only spot clinched is the 8th position, which Supah P's has locked down.
TMX exclusive interview with Grahamtrons "basement is cool,  I got a new sound system and Shawn Larry put in a banged up ac unit at cost, OH WAIT DID I TELL YOU?? FOUND AN OLD NINTENDO SYSTEM WITH THE POWER PAD ITS AWESOME! LITTLE BUMMED I COULDN'T FIND THE POWER GLOVE, I BET NOROMOS USED IT TO BEAT OFF WHEN HE VISITED".

Geez lets home Grahamtron doesn't pack it in the last two weeks now lets get to the weekly scores. First place this week was Slippery Wizards with 164 led by backup rb J.Hill and Matt Ryan. 2nd this week was Blackdynomite with 144 who was hurt by Manning but picked up waiver stud Harry "Frederick" Douglass and had Olsen and Bell do their regular thing. 
3rd this week was Beachbums who got huge games from Beckham and Bryant to put up 143, cursed Shady Mccoy could have done more and helped the Bums! 4th this week were The Jackals with 132. Brees is officially back for the Jackals and that is going to make the Jackals/Noromo bet fun to watch!! 5th this week was DMC with 110. Murray(prior to injury) and Brown carried the team as the two trick pony of Rodgers-Nelson really fell off. 6th this place was NoRomo with 103 Ravens d was a great trade and all about the Benjamins helped but the rbs killed the squad this week. 7th place with 100 was FYW FYW were led by Luck and Assiata but had no players getting 20pts!! 8th this week was Supah P's with 95. Supahs been dominating in the D category all season and Cards d led his team this week but in his never ending search for a wr grabbing Moncrief wasn't the move, put up a goose egg. 9th this week was Grahamatron with 83pts. Big Ben led the team with 19pts but no one else got over 11, not easy getting out of the basement with that production or with Mathews putting up a 0 and CHARLES Johnson outscoring CALVIN Johnson!! Last place this week with an amazing run of not breaking 100 once again was newly named Voodoo that you do (make me wanna shoop?) with 82 Seahawks D and Flacco led the team of none scoring over 20. 

Lets make some calls. First up for the winners we will call the pride of Boston College Matt Ryan.

Hey Matty Ice its your old friends TMX good week and pretty good season how's it going? " oh my TMX good to hear from you, we are trying to stay positive and make plays over here but I know Slippery Wizards management has been on us all season" That is true Matty tried trading you and even got Romo a guy who's thrown for 300yds once to play over you? " Oh TMX, thats not the half, at one point they threatened to kidnap my kid if i didn't put up a 40 burger? I dont even know what a 40 burger is? Is that the burger challenge at the eagle deli? I mean jeez?" WOW kidnapping kids? They take this serious over there, well anyway Matty good luck last two games. "thanks TMX and shout out to my boy Roddy White, Love me some Roddy White" Now we are going to do something different we usually call a player from the losing team but today we are calling a former player from that team Demarco Murray. Hey Demarco its TMX calling whats up? "OH man TMX calling again did we lose or win the week? Just trying to help my new team" Well you didn't win or lose we are calling to ask you about the injury? What exactly happened as there are rumors it was well uhmm VOODOO. " WAIT YOU TELLING ME I GOT A VOODOO CURSE??" D calm down calm down we are just checking "F*CKING VOODOO? You got people sacrificing chickens and voodoo cursing, this league is crazy, I'M OUT" Well cant say I blame him wow. TMX will be looking into this voodoo allegation and get to the bottom of it. Lets take a look at the overall standings

1. Slippery Wizards
2. Black Dynomite................................97pts
3. DMC...............................................177pts
5. BeachBums.....................................230pts
6. NoRomos........................................319pts
7. Jackals............................................321pts
8. Supah P's.........................................425pts
9. Voodoothatyoudo..............................568pts
10. Grahamatron..................................582pts

   The last two games are big. We've seen all year that one bad week can drop a team so that is all it will take for teams to slide in or out of the money. The race for the basement is as hot as its been all season and the side bet between NoRomo vs Jackals is separated by only 2 points currently. There will be a rush to the waiver as Murray injury is still murky. The end of the season Commish bday/ last game party is still on and we are taking calls for where the TMX sponsored event will take place. (Twinnies is OUT - Sorry Jeffrey) Good luck in week 16 and as always if you got news TMX will report it we are a voodoo free operation.

                                                                (TMX Mobile travels)

Monday, December 15, 2014

Ho ho holidays

I hope that everyone is enjoying their holiday season. Hopefully, you are visiting family, shopping for Christmas gifts and Hanukkah(Or is it Chanukah)  presents.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Putting bunk beds together is not all that hard.
2. Have you ever seen Jeffrey on 9? When Jeffrey has been on 9 did he kidnap you and take you to Twinnies? Didn't think so.
3. Rio is hosting a holiday party on January 10th. Get ready!
4. Is anyone as excited as I am about the Hobbit this Friday? Does anyone want to go to Wahlburgers and catch the movie? Friday night date night?
5. I think buffalo chicken pizza is either hit or miss but when its good its so good.
6. Guess you cant bring your own beers into the casino? Or snap chat for that matter.
7. Nothing worse than plugging in your phone and it doesn't charge.
8. Ugly sweaters were fun when they weren't supposed to be ugly. Now that they make ugly sweaters on purpose - lame!
9. Straight off the boat Irish kill the Indian food.
10. If you go to the mall to shop stop walking around like a fucking zombie.
11. Buffalo Wild Wings at the South Shore plaza is small.
12. I took off next Monday to finish off my xmas shopping. Anyone want to do some day drunking (and maybe shop)?
13. It is a sad day when you can still get good Sox Pax for opening day.
14. Is it laziness if you don't have time to get a haircut?
15. Cracker Barrel both the cheese and the restaurant are good.
16. I would appreciate if someone would stop stealing my beard comb!

Bonus round this is what I hate at this moment:
1. Chicken littles - people who act like the sky is falling over every single thing in the world.
2. Places that put their nasty lemons in my water. Fuck your nasty lemons.
3. Ladies doing their make up while driving in traffic. Move it or lose it sister.
4. Being in between pants sizes - really 37 is not a pant size?
5. You can order the same coffee at 14 different Dunkin Donuts and you get 14 different versions of a regular coffee. WHAT THE FUCK MAN!