Monday, October 20, 2014

Whoa whoa whoa

How do we go from 80 degrees to 38? I mean can't we have a gradual decline?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The Border Cafe is pretty fucking good.
2. Mario has a nice house over there in Saugus.
3. Calnan is learning that cats are not cheap to own.
4. Never call  back those non soliciting gambling numbers.
5. Iced green tea isn't bad.
6. Anything can happen in fantasy football.
7. Not everyone should own a dog or a pet for that matter.
8. Its amazing how a haircut and a shave can make you feel great.
9. There is  no denying that the people of the North shore are a bit out there.
10. Never a dull moment when your BAE is called a pussy by a bombed drunk lady at the bar.
11. When is the right time to turn on your heat?
12. Chrissy has a house full of sick children. But that just means loads of meds for them and shit tons of beers for him.
13. When is Buffalo Wild Wings opening up at the Plaza?
14. There has been a Smiddy sighting, well more like confirmation he is alive via the text but either way.
15. Don't bother texting Brady for a wellness check, she is not all that chatty. More like a plotter of deaths than chatter.
16. I feel that Andy Capp Hot fries may be underrated.
17. Welchie, I really do not know what is being said in that Microsoft tablet commercial.
18. If you are going to eat eggs, how do you not eat runny yolks?
19. Chrissy is putting a road trip to North Carolina together to visit, Flounder. Who is in?
20. Speaking of Flounder, he has become something of a part time travel agent. He can tell you the best times to get flights.
21. Has anyone heard from Jeffrey? Last I heard he was checking out vacation homes on Marthas Vineyard.
22. If you don't have a lucky number then I think you have something wrong with you...just saying.

Bonus Round - this is what I hate right now:
1. Being sick.
2. All things sports related.
3. Snide comments muttered under peoples breaths.
4. Driving to work when its pitch black out.
5. Wearing a belt.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Week 6 review

TMX here with your week 6 review!!

Everyone in the league except Romosexuals gained ground on the leader board this week!! Biggest mover is the week winner FYW who jumped from 4th to second and now is just 37 points from the top!! Beachbums put up another solid week as his trades and sticking to Brady seems to be putting them back to their usual top at the spot!! DMC the two trick pony came through and they continue to hang out in the top 3, the Wagon slipped a bit to 4 but still in striking distance. Jackals, Pleasure Palace and Suupahs move closer to the top but stayed 5-7. Romosexuals dropped to 9 and Beachbums moved up to 8, the injury prone Grahamatrons are still locked in the basement for now.  Waiver wire players made big impacts this week and there were two trades DMC (TR??) Vernon Davis and chargers d for Brian Quick and dolphins d with Pleasure Palace and the suddenly desperate Slippery Wizards traded Sproles for the bills D with Jackals. Wes Cash  has not returned yet from Bora Bora so there is onoce again no investigation going on. 

The week went as follows- 1st this week is red hot FYW ( Wes Cash still investigating the super secret meaning with the TMX code crackers) 183pts!! Forte, Luck and TY Hilton all went off for FYW who even dealt with the Ridley injury and had no problem. 2nd this week with 136 was Beachbums riding Brady and newly acquired Lesean McCoy. 3rd place went to DMC with the two trick pony of Rodgers to Jordy ( Wacco for Flacco trying to get in went off for 47 on the bench. BENCH MOB) 4th place was Pleasure Palace ( welcome to having the worse name in the league, you guys sponsored by a sex shop?? Was crazy prison eyes taken?) with 131. Kap and the loaded rb tandem of Nat Gio and Murray did their usual big number thing. 5th place was Black Dynamite aka the wagon with 130. Manning, Marshall and Pats d led the charge. The Bench Mob for Black dynamite put up 130 as well with Newton playing out of his mind. 6th place was SupahP's with 130 - Supah using the wire and great plays of Sanu and J. Bell . 7th place was The Jackals who's ownership quit their day job this week to focus soley on Fantasy football!! Tmx wishes him good luck. Jackals put up 121 on a Brees bye week led by Dalton and top wr brown. Grahamatron finished in 8th putting a respectable 114 up despite getting NEGATIVE points from spiller. Muddy Rivers and hot wire pick up Cousin Oliver carried the team.9th this place was Slippery Wizards whos only decent performer was Demaryius Thomas. Last place this week with 88pts was Romosexuals. Jordan Cameron is back but the rest of the team not so much. This league has turned into you need 115-120 to have an ok week no longer is it 100pts and your good!! Lets make some TMX calls

First up to the winners FYW we give TY Hilton a call after his 223yd 9 rec td performance. Hey TY its  TMX whats good?? " hey TMX so glad to hear from you, I knew you'd call Andrew told me he's sooo smart" Uggh here we go so Andrew Luck playing the smart guy act again?? Anyway great week how'd you get so many yards? " well Andrew went to Stanford and he's so smart he said hey TY run deep i'll throw it to you, you'll get a ton of yards. Guys a genius cuz it worked" So you think cuz Luck is smart and not cuz no one covered you you got all those yards?? " well of course hey TMX hey to cut this short but Andrew is teaching us some 15 syllable words we can use today I gotta run" Uhhm ok TY good luck next week and tell Luck TMX said psuedoantidisestablismentarianisms!!! Sometimes TMX has to show its skinny side!!!!  Next call and hopefully a better one is to last place team Romosexuals bench mob star Ronnie Hillman. Hey Ronnie its TMX whats happening!! " oh TMX whats up!! So happy to be picked up off the wires by an IGGLES disciple who lives by the pick them up play them credo!! Nothing worse than fools picking players up and sitting them" Well Rondog sorry to say you were on the bench this week! " wait what? I was picked up and not played?? Nah  homie tell me he had two rbs who put up 40 burgers? " Well not quite Moreno and that stud Sankey that's all the rage. " TMX rondog is so mad right now, no flex appeal NOTHING??" Afraid not BENCH. " TMX I hope they throw me back out to the waiver wire if they aren't playing me I gave my all for the club" I hear ya buddy guess that's up to the Romosexuals. Later Rondog. " TMX hope you call again and can I get a TMX tshirt" Sure Later Ronnie!!  Well there you have it, players taking the benching personal, cant blame him.

  The season is already in week 7 and the byes are coming in and so are the injuries Cruz, Ridley and Moreno all lost for the season while Sproles, Calvin, Aj and bush still trying to get healthy among other. The waivers will be active again and hopefully so will the trade front.


Monday, October 13, 2014

Coumbus Day

Lookie lookie, Derek decided to show up for a holiday. Long Live Amerigo Vespucci!! We aren't named for Columbus people...get with it.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Chrissy is not a fan of Sunday weddings, when he has to work Monday.
2. People apparently are saying Fat Derek was way nicer than Skinny Derek. Uhm still me bro!
3. Calnan is really pushing this Tough Mudder, check in with him to get your assignment of how you should be training.
4. Jeffrey is known blower offer. Kid blows everyone off.
5. I am glad that the Bruins are back - your 2014-2015 Boston Bruins.

6. There is nothing worse than having no zip on the weekends.
7. Kowloon food is legit but man do they want you out of there as soon as you are done eating. No more drinks no more nothing.
8. If you need any projects at your house done MikeyT is becoming quite proficient in all things home remodel.
9. This place has great pizza, but terrible service.
10. Its not normal that my dog falls down the stairs while trying to walk up them - bum acl.
11. Why is it so difficult to find a comfortable belt?
12. I keep losing my wedding band because it is too loose.
13. Congrats to Suzy and Sean on their wedding.
14. Jeffreys Fan Duel addiction may or may not need an intervention - (888) 830-2271 

BONUS ROUND This is what I am hating right now:
1. Cheap people.
2. Candy Corns.
3. Fantasy football.
4. Warm beers.
5. Mother fuckers who don't text back.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

TMX week 5 review

Week 5 is in the books and it was one of the wildest weeks TMX has seen in a long time!! We had our second buyout of a team in ADSL history, this one not as complicated as the Iggles, just a straight 100 dollars take your team as Midnight Tokers were bought out due to death by group text!! The league sanctioned group text which is a friendly way to offer trades and sometimes advice TAKE THE DEAL apparently was too much for Midnight tokers who went into a rage demanding home addresses of owners!! Bizarre behavior from a former winning organization. TMX  hopes he seeks help for his text related issues and can focus on the fun of fantasy football. Prison eyes on the prize as they say.
The wild week of panic continued as a trading frenzy started. First the Slippery Wizards sent Nick Foles, Julius Thomas, and Jordan Mathews to The Beachbums for underperforming Demaryius Thomas, Rob Gronkowski and Kirk Cousins. The Jackals made two trades first sending underperformer in Shady McCoy to the active Beachbums for Bradshaw and Millar then sending Reggie Bush and Charles Clay to DMC for Zach Ertz and Darren Mcfadden. Last trade of the week was FYW getting Ridley and Roddy White for Chris Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald. TMX has a traderape whistle and if needed any owner can request it at anytime, let put an end to trade rape people!! We also have the ongoing FANDUEL takeover going on that is starting effecting owners. TMX is investigating the possibility of an emergency owners meeting at the chuckpony in Kingston. The commissioner hasn't spoken on either matter. Lets get on to this weeks scoring.

 First place this week Slippery Wizards who found the right buttons to push for Demaryius and Gronk and rode that to 187 points!! Thomas put up a massive 48pt day. Second place was Beachbums who with the new team was able to get 146pts. Ellington had a huge week as well as waiver find VJax and new beachbum Orange Julius chipping in with his 2 tds. Third place was the Supah Ps with 142 with a balanced attack of 5 players over 15pts and Golden Tate taking over for the hurt Megatron. Fourth this week was The Jackals with 141 with PT cruiser  leading the way and Goskowski putting up 19 pts which is more than McCoy had total in the last 4 weeks ( no wonder the panic set in and he was traded) Fifth place this week was Midnight Tokers/I know where you live with 133. The ownership may be in turmoil but the team is still plugging along with Murray and desean Jackson have big weeks. Sixth place this week was Black Dynomite with 129 led by the usual huge game by Manning who dropped a 49 burger for top scorer in the league. ( the wagon's bench had 78pts this week another stellar effort) Seventh place this week was DMC with 120 as Arian Nation found his groove and carried the team. 8th place this week Romosexuals for 116pts led by not Romo but Wilson who dropped 43 on Monday night and could have been more if Percy Harvin didn't have 3 tds called back!! 9th place this week was FYW with 114 after two straight wins they have an off week but Matt Forte did his thing for 31pts!! Last place this week was Grahamatron with a season low 69pts!! The only one showing up for Grahamtron was Muddy rivers who continues to sling it all over!! Many teams were hit with injuries this week but none worse than Grahamtron who lost 4 players, including studs Megatron and Graham. TMX is making its first ever CONFERENCE call to all the injured players on Grahamtron to see what happened!!!

Hellooooo do we have Donnie Brown, Montee Ball, Mega, Jimmy Graham and Larry Donnell on the line?? " hey Tmx we are all here!! This is MEGA you've called me before everyone's here sorry we got hurt, WAIT WAIT Larry Donnell here I didn't get hurt this week" Guys no one likes injuries and we hope your all back giving it your all at least everyone put up points before going out hurt well except you larry what happened you get hurt in the pregame?? " Yeh Larry you had no points, what you injure? GUYS I'M NOT HURT!!" Wait so your saying you put up a ZERO and didn't get hurt? "Dbrown here I'm still a little concussed but youre telling me I got 3 pts and a concussion and left the game and this guy played the whole game not hurt and put up a zero CLICK"  Guys?? guys?? looks like they hung up?? Well lets hope the Grahamatrons find health and that they didn't injure Larry due to our conference call.

Next up we called Demaryius Thomas of the week winning Slippery Wizards. Hey Demaryius how you doing its TMX. "oh cool I'm doing good little bummed Beachbums gave up on me so quick but I'm happy to be here, Julius told me its a great organization so I'm just trying to get points each week, sorry to cut this short but I'm running routes with Peyton, no time to talk hoping to get 3 scores next week" WOW that's ambitious we wish you luck.

There you have it week 5 is in the books and we are moving on to week 6. The season is the wildest yet with the wagon accepting the title in week 2 and teams bailing on stars quicker that we've ever seen. TMX checked the calendar and there is a ton of football left!!

EDITORS NOTE- TMX investigative reporter is off on a beach in BORA BORA checking on the origin of the curse of prison eyes(and reading his favorite books) that may have struck a once promising franchise in the league. Some say its a coincidence that injuries happened to one team but the conspiracy theorist in us all believe that once your address is requested the prison eye curse is dropped around the house and injuries take place. TMX is committed to finding the validity of the curse and if possible the cure!!! Stay tuned. GOOD LUCK IN WEEK. TMX OUT.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Lets roll

I figured I have been blogging for a while now, since 2008 I think. So I am thinking bout adding a bonus list of  5 things I hate (at this moment in time)at the end of each week. Kind of like a bonus round. What do you think?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. No matter how old I get I still love celebrating birthdays. No matter who's it is.
2. Apparently hot sex on a veterinarians desk doesn't just happen in porno movies. That's the new hotness.
3. Once it goes in your mouth you have to finish it.
4. Calnan is on the fast track to be man hunter/detective of the year. Keep ya head on a swivel and your shit buried deep in the dirt.
5. Sad to see Kams Garden has not only been renamed to Moto Garden but its actually closed.
6. Sex in a shed is totally okay, as long as the shed has electricity. (Girls and their rules).
7. My hip is still all types of messed up and really messing with me.
8. Chrissy is officially on the Tough Mudder team - which we are either calling Team Booze Bags or the Booze Scouts. We have a team meeting scheduled for Veterans day weekend for the final vote.
                         A. Boozebag one and Boozebag two- similar to Dr Suess Thing one and Thing two
                         B. Booze Scouts - pretty self explanatory, similar to the boys scouts but you get drunk related patches - I got this one for funneling, this one for keg stands, this one for the hour of power...etc
9. If you rent a house with a bunch of people and you happen to hit it off with someone you met at a bar so want to bring them back to the rental but your new housemates are against it what is your recourse? I wouldn't say the guy calls two of his friends to come over and you have a 3 way on the front lawn while his friend watches is really in my top 100 answers for what to do. But hey I guess that happens.
10. Why is it I always get sick before the flu shot comes out?
11. Anyone have $4300 for Ronins ACL surgery on his right leg? Yes, he tore HIS OTHER ACL!
12. If you have any creep shots make sure you send em to Chrissy, he is something of an expert 617-835-6437.
13. The newest Transformer movie sucks.
14. When is wedding season over? Seems like there is a god damn wedding every week.
15. Chrissy and I have officially been friends for 16 years. Its not every day you know the exact day you became friends with someone.
16. People wonder why America is obese - how does an 8.5 oz can of soda cost more than a 2 liter?
17. Chrissy's weight loss update - he went up to 240.4 pounds. Had a rough pre birthday week.
18. Is anyone else as excited as I am that the B's season starts again this Wednesday?
19. Speaking of Wednesday if you are around at 11pm there will be a gathering of friends for Jason Foley at JJ Foleys. Jason is leaving his job and off to bigger and better things. Can the world handle Jason Foley the plumber? I know he has the plumbers crack already down pat.
20. As much as people don't read the blog, a shit ton of people ask me questions about things that I post here all the time. Or they start mid conversation with me like we were talking about something blog related.
21. Homemade hot pepper relish is the shit. I put it on every thing.
22. I hope everyone's suites and dresses fit for Suzie and Sean's (it may be spelled Shawn - I don't fucking know) the silent funnellers upcoming nuptials Sunday in Plymouth. I heard Chrissy is starting to pregame on Friday night for it.

BONUS ROUND of things I hate (at this moment in time):
1. Florida Georgia Line
2. Gluten free everything - go to the doctors and get checked people, dumb asses just being dumb.
3. Boston sports fan with this pendulum of emotion. Fans of every team. One week their team is the worst the next the GOAT. You can never talk real shit with them because of this self disillusion. Lester aint coming back Sox fans so stop holding your breath.
4. Christmas shit being up already.
5. Low fat cheeses. I would rather have a lot less real cheese or no cheese at all than low fat plastic tasting cheese.

Hope I see some of you guys out at the B's game Wednesday night. If you get any pics from the wedding of the year send em my way.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Week 4 recap

Week 4 is in the books and here to report it all is TMX the official fantasy reporting news agency of ADSL.

What a wild week it was in the fantasy/real world!! The group text has officially led to our first threat of bodily harm as the owners of Midnight Tokers were asking for home addresses!!! TMX made SEVERAL calls to midnight tokers for explanations but has yet to get a response!! The league is looking at an emergency owners meeting to see if threats are real and if Tokers team should be removed. Stay tuned!! TMX has also hired well known investigative reporter and former liason to Hank Philippe Ryan (hank on your side) WES CASH to keep track of the latest scandals. Mr. Cash is currently trying to track down funds owed by Black Dynamite from years past and why the WAGON isn't losing 10pts per week!!! The investigation is on going!!

This week saw a lot of movement in the standings due to the bye weeks and some teams having huge weeks. The weekly winner of 75 dollars in cold hard cash was newly named FYW with 176. Its FYW second straight victory and has brought him from 7th to 4th overall. FYW is riding the Andrew Luck train who is putting up 40 burgers each week and looking like an mvp caliber qb. Waiver pick up Asiata also had a huge week for FYW ( no idea what that means but its better than his last name so just go with it people). 2nd place this week was Slippery Wizards with 161. The Wizards rode a strong week by old man Frank Gore and Keenan Allen both of who he offered in trades all week but the numbers didn't match up according to Dave Richard or Dave Dick on the streets. Keep trying Wizards, trades are good for the league. 3rd place this week was DMC with 159. DMC is basically a two man show right now when Rodgers and Jordy are on - they are ON. 4th this week was Gramatron with 128 rumors are circulating that the league is looking into Gramatron's possible gambling addiction as he had 125 fanduel teams last week. This bears watching as the commish is looking to regain control of the league and may set the example here!! Gramatron got the majority of his points from not Jimmy Graham or Megatron but Muddy Rivers and Reggie Wayne!! 5th place this week was Romosexual who have the Texans d, Romo and waiver wire stud Kniles Davis taking the Romos in the right direction as they wait for injuries to heal!! 6th place this week were the Supah P's ( P contacted TMX to say he was flattered by being a name of a team, didn't have the heart to say your team is struggling in 9th but its early) Supah's had 118 led by Stafford and T. Williams yup who outscored Dez great play by the Supahs. 7th place this week was Dillons Villenz, oops autocorrect, Midnight Tokers with 104. Tokers had big guns on a bye and were obviously distracted by group text but still put up a hundo led by Murray who in a redraft may go number one guy, has been a machine. 8th place this week is the Beachbums with 103 led by Millar and Benjamin ( real nfl players I'm told) Beach bums have some waivers or trades to make as the qb situation continues to plague them. God Brady is really testing the patience of the BBums. 9th place this week with 99 points is Jackals. Jackals got a huge week from Antonio Brown and Jackals ownership continues to have a love affair with McCoy. Numerous trade offer refused as he hung on to mr 3pts total last two weeks. I guess cant expect anything but improvement?? Last place this week was Black Dynomite with 78pts. Tough week for "the wagon" with Manning on a bye. Black Dynomite is the first owner TMX has seen that is proud of his bench?? Actually praising its scoring and betting teams starters vs his bench??? For the record TMX has kept a running tally of his bench scoring 75, 112, 74 and 121 this week all of which did nothing to stop them from falling out of first to 3rd? Confused??  So is TMX!! 

 LETS MAKE SOME CALLS!! First call by TMX was to this weeks winners FYW mvp candidate Andrew Luck. Hey Andrew it TMX can we call you Andy or Dandy Andy?? " uhhm I went to Stanford call me Andrew" Well well lets tone it down Andrew we have members of our staff that attended prestigious schools as well, ever heard of UMASS followed by Cape Cod Community College after being asked to leave Umass?? " yeah TMX I'm confused with your questioning, do you have any real questions I'm busy putting up 40 burgers you know" Jeez Andrew your a little snooty, well smarty whats your team name mean FYW?? " Tmx look I respect what you do and I'm happy to be part of FYW but honestly I have no idea" Hmm didn't think so smarty. TMX 1- Smarty 0, in all seriousness thanks for your time Andrew I'm sure we will talk again. "yeah thank you, later" Wow tough interview. TMX next call was to the losing teams Jamaal Charles. Hey Jamaal great week coming back from the injury!! " you know it huge win!! Our management is putting us in the position to win this league!! I know its week four but we are on fire outscoring every team!!! Yo cobb pass me the champagne we got this thing wrapped up!! BENCHMOB FO LIFE" Uhmm Jamal you realize bench points don't count in the league and you are on the bench?? " yeah our management team wants its best players on the bench? its crazy!! but we are all on board got benchmob shirts and we had Brian Scalbrine in here giving us a bench player pep talk just last week!! Yo roddy great game!!!" TMX is literally speechless, well Jamaal good luck the rest of the way I'm sure we will talk to you again. " oh bet TMX love your work, anyone seen  Lions D?? got some champagne for them they lit it up!" Well there you have it. Lets get a look at the standings.

1. Slippery Wizards.....................................
2. Dmc.....................................................24pts back
3. Black Dynomite......................................38pts
4. FYW.....................................................40pts
5. The Jackals...........................................74pts
6. Midnight Tokers.....................................81pts
7. Grahatron..............................................88pts
8. Romosexuals..........................................89pts
9. Supah P's...............................................115pts
10. Beach Bums...........................................137pts

    Tons of movement early on in the season as FYW went from 7th to 4th, Slippery Wizards jumped to first as Black Dynomite's wagon fell to third. The waivers have helped teams move and trades have slowed down for an unknown reason. TMX is on twitter and myspace ( refuse to go to facebook, aint broke why fix it) so if you have any hot leads please hit us up. TMX will continue to bring the news and lead the investigation cuz we are here to help!! Good luck in week 5 and hope to stay injury free. Diggles I got your repeated request for interviews but legally we cannot talk until the court settlement is through. Carolina Creeping we see you. TMX out.

Monday, September 29, 2014

How come...

people don't have Halloween parties anymore?
I mean I miss the days when Chrissy would dress up as a gay cowboy. Or Jeffrey being the Beastie Boys from the Sabotage video.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The MacPhails are celebrating their anniversary today. If you see them at Venus please buy em a shot.
2. Mike Foley must be really killing it down in NC since no one has really heard from him.
3. Speaking of not hearing from people has any heard from KevBarry??
4. Apparently, Padraig Calnan says that no one reads this blog and I am wasting my time. Hey writing is therapeutic.
5. Chrissy is back on track and down to 238. Don't hate on the chubby kid trying to get down to 228.
6. My wife informed me that she wants a 3rd dog, a Pomeranian. That is normal.
7. Papa Johns pizza sucks.
8. I think breakfast is under rated.
9. I do not understand how people work the over night shift. Every single time I have worked it, my week is messed up.
10. Nothing worse than hurting your hip.
11. The older I get the more and more I dislike this new hip hop music. I really am getting to be an old man.
12. Anyone know a good training regiment for The Tough Mudder? Calnan, Rob, Rio, Jeffrey and I are planning on doing Mt Snow in June. Hayes is on the fence.
13.What you know about belonging to the Y, asking for a friend?
14. I don't like fish but I sure as hell like fish tacos, you figure it out.

See you all next week.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

TMX is back


Tmx the premier fantasy news reporting outlet which is loosely affiliated with the number 6 ranked internet media outlet is here with all your fantasy news!!! The FOUR PLUS HOUR ADSL draft has come and gone and so has weeks one and two. TMX is finally cleared of the legal hurdles we were forced to jump through over a pending lawsuit put forth by a person who COPYRIGHTED his name and will not allow us to use it or his small stature balled head likeness nor are we allowed to use "ALL IGGLES"( copyright pending*).

Quick recap over the summer our offices were approached by a lawyer named Jimmy Childs who apparently is the low budget lesser known brother of bigshot lawyer Jackie Childs ( who told you to strap a bomb?). Mr Childs informed us that  there were lawsuits pending by (copyrighted name who we will henforth refer to as DIGGLES). Mr Diggles was suing us for using his name and is in the process of copyrighting the All Iggles name so Jimmy Childs told us to "use that shit at your own risk, go ahead I dare you". TMX is not one to back down but the legal funds dwindling we decided to step away from the all Iggles lawsuits. Diggles can have it. Mr Childs you are correct in telling TMX you have the cojones.

Looking at each week TMX will have a you don't have the cojones player for each team. Enough about that and on to the latest news. TMX has seen the most panic waiver wire and sky is falling reactions from the league in years!! ITS WEEK 3 and we have people dress shopping. Speaking of which what a power move dress Supah P's owners showed up with at the draft! TMX instagram (please follow) has the pic up for those who want to see how losing should be done. We have also introduced the term TRADE RAPE to the fantasy world. TMX is totally against trade rape and if any team needs help in preventing such a thing ( crabtree for Wallace?) We all need to stop trade rapes!! See something say something!!!! Heres the breakdown of the current week!!

First place this week was worse team name in the league Los Put Your Nutsaway with a come from behind Monday night take over, 128 pt week led by a 45 burger from Andy Luck.  YOU scared? Sit this week was Broncos D putting up 14 while you started Panthers for 1pt??
Second place this week was new comers The Jackals with 126 losing by 2 points on Monday night, tough to take!! Jackals were led by strong wr corps Maclin and Brown. YOU scared?? Started McCoy (bust??) who had 2 pts and sat reggie smack my kids if I want bush who put up 18!!
3rd this week were the Romosexuals with 124 led by Wilson and sneaky draft day pick of Kniles Davis. YOU scared?? Leaving the bengals 19pts on the bench while starting Texans got you 6. 
4th this week was Slippery Wizards with 118 led by a 67pt Thursday night game from Ryan and Jones. YOU scared sat newly acquired red hot Foles 37 pts!!
5th this week were the Beach Bums Na-nu-na-nu ( tribute to robin Williams) also with 118 led by Sanders and Millar, the Bums like Williams seem a little down if you see him give him a hug or a rope depending on your feelings. YOU scared sat 43pt cousins in favor of the God Brady's 15.

6th place this week was Dirty Moon Crickets with 117 led by Pierre Garcon!! Guess DMC was scared to salsa with Cruz's 24 and stuck by Jordy and his 8!!
Coming in 7th with 115 were the Midnight Tokers. Tokers have the rb power couple Gio and Murray tearing it up. The reigning champ was quoted on draft day as saying " ha you morons just gave me the league again by letting me get these two". Guess he looks right but he was too scared to start Desean and his 25pts and instead went with harvin and his 7.
8th place this week was Gramatron with 107 pts. Gramatron led by neither graham or megatron but instead by Muddy Rivers and the colts d!  Guess he was too scared to start Floyd and his 18 and went with megas measley 11.
9th place this week was Supah P's ( a tribute to a long lost friend who was taken into the Pembroke swamps and never to be heard by TMX again. RI-supahP) he had 106 led by newly acquired Jennings (Trade Rape?) and Lynch who looks like an early MVP candidate. Guess he was too scared to sit Gates and his 1 point when he had Kelce and his 11!
Last Place this week was Black Dynamite with 98. Led by manning and bell . Looks like they got crabtree but were too scared to play him 19 pts but played Cobb and his 4!!

The overall standings after 3 weeks, and with Black Dynamite ( self proclaimed Wagon) winning first two weeks, are as follows.

1.Black Dynamite.................................................
2.Slippery Wizards............................................... 44 pts behind
3.The Jackals....................................................... 58 pts
4. DMC................................................................ 66 pts
5. Midnight Tokers.................................................69 pts
6. Romosexuals.................................................... 94 pts
7. Grahamatron.....................................................98 pts
8. Nutsaway..........................................................99 pts
9. Supah P's..........................................................116 pts
10. Beachbums......................................................125 pts

       Its  early in the season and obviously anyone's got a chance to win it.  The waiver wire is red hot and the trades are being offered. The bye weeks start this week which should mean even more movement on the wire and trade front. TMX is happy to be back and wishes that all the crazy injuries slow down, we lost quite a few guys in the first 3 weeks!! Good luck to all next week and DONT BE SCARED. Hey Jimmy Childs and Diggles. We back bitches.

Monday, September 22, 2014


It is the first day of Fall. You bitches know that I love the Fall season. I hate all the pumpkin everything but I love this season.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Apparently Kanes donuts in Saugus is where its at.
2. Calnan is sober, carb free and quite miserable.(Still hasn't had a weigh in for the weight challenge).
3. Chrissy gained 1.8 pounds in his work biggest loser challenge. Kids rocking 241.8.
4. The Kubie Krawl was yet again another success. Great turn out.
5. Ozzie is talking about a trip to Nashville to see the B's play in December, it may be on the big blue bus:

                                             (We take selfies get over it)

6. Hulk Hogan is not the only person who uses just for men on their beard.
7. Its funny to get messages once a week asking me when I am coming back to Facebook because they miss my daily posts.
8. Sorry ladies William J Smiddy is officially off the market, rumor has it he is actually moving in with his lady.
9. Fall means hot coffee for me, man this is taking some getting used too.
10. Everyone loves when someone tells you that you can not do something. Challenge accepted.
11. WWE is getting very generic lately. BORING!
12. Rumor has it TMX will be back this week. As of right now its just a rumor.
13. I do not really understand how people make crazy money on the fan duel.
14. Fucking Christmas is 3 months away. Get that shopping in fools.
15. Rio is officially moved into his house in Saugus. Party to follow, well after his furniture comes in.
16. Pulled pork burritos are fully under rated.

Work is kind of busy so I am gonna have to bail.
Have a nice week.

Monday, September 15, 2014

The bet

Soooooo Calnan has challenged me/bet me to see who can lose the most weight in a month. So we start tomorrow and go till October 17th. Total weight loss by percentage. The loser has to pose in a Halloween costume the winner picks out, The pictures will be posted on this blog for 6 months every week.

This is what i learned this week:
1. Chrissy is down to 240 from 248.8 in his biggest loser challenge at Coke.
2. Jeffrey has only been to the Cheesecake factory 3 times.
3. Are they terrible twos or terrors at three because my nephew is a menace.
4. There has been a Lauren Brady sighting, well on Instagram but still a sighting.
5. Rob hates #SelfieSundays.
6. The Ozone is just waiting on his cable and he will officially be a resident of Saugus.
7. Everyone has their own problems, remember that. You may not see them but believe me not everything is the fucking Cosby show.
8. Fantasy football is almost a 24/7 job now a days. I think next year I get in 1 league and thats all.
9. Speaking of fantasy - Pimpin aint Parise is back up and running. After a 2nd and 3rd place finish the last 2 years Ozone and I are taking our hockey talents to ESPN fantasy hockey.
10. Kristins cafe in Braintree is the shit. Best breakfast I have had in some time. It has like 40 different pancakes.
11. Sometimes when my mind wanders it goes all over the map.
12. I have no idea how people deal with having like 5 dogs. I can barely deal with 2.
13. Who the fuck eats orange marmalade?
14. Thanks Stop and Shop for a $32.24 full tank of gas.
15. Does anyone have any suggestions on stretching out your hips?
16. Never ever get unsalted pretzels. Thats just the devil's snack.
17. When are we planning on going to visit Mike Foley in North Carolina?
18. Has anyone seen Bill Smiddy? I asked him to hang out this past week and he no call no showed me.

Thats all I got for now.

Hope you all have a nice week.

I will see most if not all of you at The Kubie crawl this Saturday. Show up in Southie for a good cause.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Lets roll

I am so glad that football is back. Something to watch all day Saturday and all of Sunday.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Never knew Roslindale was 15 minutes from Quincy.
2. I am not all that good at the Can Jam.
3. Sometimes a nice night chilling on your couch is the best thing.
4. Has anyone see Calnan rocking his Michael Sam Cowboy jersey?
5. What is better bar pizza - Cape Cod Cafe, Emmas, Town Spa or the Linwood Cafe?Dont even bring up Santarpios.
6. I have tried the almond milk in my iced coffee. It aint good.
7. Why is it you text Smiddy all week long and he gets back to you maybe once? You know that mother fucker is reading all them messages.
8. What is worse, as an adult, an ear infection or a tooth ache. Either way im crying like a bitch.
9. Running a mile under 12 minutes makes ya feel good.
10. Four  fantasy leagues may be wayyy too many. Like at least 2 too many.
11. I can still not make gravy, to this day. Everytime I try its nasty as fuck.
12. Chrissy started a Biggest Loser Challenge at work. He started 2 weeks ago and weighs in on Monday afternoons. Initial weight - 253.4 and the 1st weigh in was 248.8(last week). I will update it each week so that we can show our support.
13. How come none of you twerps helped Mario with painting his new house? Hope you arent invited to his first BBQ.
14. What is worse than craving a certain food - Chinese food, Mexican food, KFC or anything and then after you eat it you feel so dissatisfied?
15. The 1st supper club of the year was a success. What should be make for next week?
16.Grumpy Whites no longer carries onion rings. So there is no longer a reason to go there.
17. Only 30 days till hockey season but who is counting?
18. Rio has started his PLAYOFF BEARD ALREADY!!(Im sure he will have to shave it off for Cataldos wedding).
19. This new voice to text feature is something. I can literally tape what I want to say and send it along - WATCH OUT WORLD!
20. If you are gonna have a party, make sure you get Tim Barrett on the list. He can and loves to cook up a storm. Dude brought home made kettle corn to Devitos house warming party.
21. Mike Foley is living the high life down in North Carolina.
22. I can not wait for the Fall weather. It makes me happy.

That's all I got for now.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014


Looky looky looky September came roaring in like a mother fucker. Hot as balls out there and the humidity ain't helping.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Hong Kong Dave wants these things wiped off the map:
2. Sun burns suck more than anything but peeling ain't much better.
3. Minot beach in Scituate ain't too shabby. Even though I smashed my ass on the ground.

4. I think turkey burgers get a bad wrap. I mean a good quality turkey burger not some frozen patty.
5. What is harder - running with blisters, running on the sand, running on rocks or running in 91 degree temps.
6. This may sum up why the draft is no longer at Barrett's house:

7. I accidentally left Chrissy off of the #sundayselfie text group this week and I honestly felt bad.
8. Whats the rules for fighting with your mother in law? Do you let it go or do you turn the other cheek? Asking for a friend.
9. If you have seen Flipping Boston, doesn't the English guy Dave, remind you of Smiddy?
10. According to Mike Foley anyone who wants to come down to North Carolina for a quick getaway, he has a 2 bedroom apartment and nothing but time.
11. I am pumped that football is back, both college and the NFL.
12. If you call my phone 100% I am sending you to voicemail. I do not want to chat to anyone. Text a mother fucker.
13. Still Face Book free and actually I love it. Facebook free = stressfree/bullshit free.
14. Ronin may or may not of stretched/strained/pulled but not tore his right rear ACL
15. I have a bet vs Calnan Mike Evans vs Brandin Cooks. NFL NUMBERS FOR $50.
16. Team Salad is still in effect!

Monday, August 25, 2014

Summers almost gone

The last week of August is always the shittiest. Its just a reminder that the summer is basically over and traffic will be back in full effect next week.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Timmy Barrett and his wife are having a baby girl in January. Congrats. I am taking January 11th in the pool.
2. I think Smiddy is still trying to make it to the draft.
3. A free Mavado watch is a nice score. Right Jeffrey?
4. I may be addicted to fantasy football drafts. I can not wait to draft for Rustys team. Then I am going to Marios draft Sunday night.
5. Ever want to just throat punch someone?
6. If you can give to help needy children down the cape
7. Go big or go home -

8. Scotty really hates the group texts. LIKE DEATH THREATS HATES.
9. I hate shopping. I never realized it until Friday night. I just like to buy things and move on. I don't need to be meandering around.
10. Jeffrey only wants hot dogs made of pork, beef and turkey. No all beef for that kid.
11. Officially off the Face Books. Me and Mark Welch just living off line.
12. Mario is closing on his house on Wednesday. Painting party to follow.
13. Miller High Life or Busch Light?
14. Legit question : do people still play board games?

Thats all I got.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Im back

We can just start with this lovely song:

Because lets face it, you all missed my my dumb ass ramblings.

This is what I learned while away from a computer for 2 weeks:
1. Still not missing FB and may actually deactivate my account. Its kind of like living off the social media grid. I now know how Bear Grylls feels.
2. Taking a 2 year old to the movies is not my best idea ever.
3. Fantasy football season is here. Already had 1 draft and can't wait for the next.
4. Is there anything better than a month with 5 pay days in it?
5. Pretty sure I put an Indian through college with all the money I dropped at Foxwoods.
6. Some people do some dumb shit when they are drunk. Maybe its funny at the time but man is it dumb.
7. Justin "Jaydisco" Brennick is selling his house if you know anyone interested in it:
8. I know that people are bitching about the Ice Bucket challenge, Thanks MikeyT for donating, but you can not bitch about the results: 16 million raised so far. Calnan have yet to see your video or receipt for a donation.
9. Rumor has it Mike Layden bought a NH summer vacation spot.
10. Mike Foley does not and will not attend any type of going away party.
11. Moving is not fun but moving in the rain is even less fun.
12. Have you ever thought someone was stronger was physically stronger than they actually were?
13. Congrats to my uncle Steven "Willie" Whitley on becoming a grandfather. Also congrats to my cousin Stevie Lee on her daughter Dylan.
14. Mario is closing next week on his first house. Cant wait for the 1st bash!! Drinking shoes are shined.
15. I tried the 2 ingredient banana pancakes. Pretty much the grossest thing ever. Tasted like banana flavored scramble eggs.
16. When is Calnan going to start stepping up his #sundayselfie game?
17. How come Riccio hasn't invited us up to his Hampton Beach Real world house? Are we not friends?
18. Speaking of Riccio, I don't know who gives me more shit for not updating the blog, him or Chrissy.
19. How can people bitch that it was 56 degrees this morning? I love the Fall weather.
20. ADSL fantasy football draft is this Saturday at 3:00 At the South Side tavern. Come on down for some laughs. Lets guess how many Patriots players Big Show drafts.
21. Cuddling with your brother is not the least bit weird, right? I mean no homo.
22. Is this Red Sox season over yet?
23. Can someone explain to me, in simple terms, what the fuck is going on in Ferguson? Calnan basically said that America is broken.
24. Jeffrey makes fun of me for still playing words with friends. Most likely because I don't have any friends.
25. How did you guys let me go so long rocking a goatee? I mean honestly I looked like a super douche in some pictures!!

Hope to see some of you in my drunken stupor on Saturday.

PS Has anyone heard or seen Supah P since he got hot and heavy with his new lady?

Monday, August 4, 2014

Summer summer summer

Its already August and the summer is almost done. That makes me a sad Panda. WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP!

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Who would want to steal Paddy Calnans identity?
2. It is totally normal for a bartender to ask you if you are driving after having 17 beers, right?
3. Guardians of the Galaxy was awesome.
4. Why is it such a big deal when I don't wear a hat? I clean up ok.
5. Red Sox this and Red Sox that. They suck just get over it.
6. I have said it a million times, I do not understand why everyone gets all giddy about Patriots training camp but thank god football is back.
7. What is the deal with all this Ebola? I mean really should we be bringing that here.
8. Nothing worse than ripping one of your favorite pairs of underwear.
9. Everyday when I walk my dogs, I refuse to take my cell phone. Its the most quiet time of the day.
10. Being off Facebook is quite nice. It is great for the mind and the soul. Now if I could not check Twitter as much.
11. Derek's ding and dents moving company is looking to hire some part time summer help. Apply within.
12. Never again will I own 2 big ass dogs at the same time. I love em both but still uggh.
13. It is harder to cut cheese out than I thought it would be. I mean who wants a hamburger?
14. In grown hairs are by far the worst things out there. Especially in the neck area.
15. When you have lots and lots of shit on your mind and can not shut it off, is that a form of insanity?
16. If you don't like strawberry shortcake we can not be friends. Dead serious.
17. Who has a fantasy football draft at Foxwoods? Guess my other league is.
18. Is there a more freaky feeling than when your eye is twitching for no apparent reason?
19. Im debating giving up coffee? Good idea or bad?
20. When is everyone available to grab Fire and Ice for brunch?

You bitches know I am on vacation next week so I will do my best to update this thing.

PS when is Mike Foleys going away soiree?

Monday, July 28, 2014

Holy Lord! August is almost here

I have always heard the saying that as you get older the years move by faster but fuck me, this year is flying by. Its like two weeks ago we were all bitching about snow, then last week we were looking forward to the July 4th cookouts and now its like damn the summer is half over.

This is what I learned over the past weekend:
1. I can not comprehend working the over night shift as a regular shift. It is just not normal.
2. How long do you think you could unplug from social media - Twitter, Face book, Instagram and all the others? I say you cant last a week.
3. The food sucks at Beer works.
4. Mike G is alive and kicking.  He made a rare Massachusetts appearance on Saturday night.
5. Congrats to the Chiefdude on his official divorce.
6. Has anyone heard from Julie Nickerson? I hope she is okay. Its been a while and I know Chrissy gets sentimental about the girl who gave him his 1st hand job.
7. I love how everyone wants to go to New Orleans but no one will  commit. Whatever I am going even if I have to go solo.
8. It seems like there hasn't been any really good movies to come out this year.
9. You know you have really bad handwriting when you can't read your own even though you just wrote something down.
10. How come some people have issues with personal space? Like I dont need you invading my personal area when I am on the computer or the phone or am just talking to you in general.
11. Thoughts on your friend having a joint co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party? If you are in the wedding can you refuse?
12. What is the deal with poison ivy? Like can some people touch it and not break out or what?
13. It takes sunlight an average of 8 minutes and 20 seconds to travel from the Sun to the Earth.
14. Man Nanaca crash is on the android. I used to love playing that game for hours back in the day.

That is all I have for now. If you see my brother Ryan Friday wish him a happy 29th birthday.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Cancer Sucks

If this story doesn't hug at your heart strings you are basically an asshole. #Cancersucks

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. I may be getting too old for a 3 day bender.
2. Chrissy and Calnan may know too much about WWE movies.
3. Just bring your baby to the bar - no big deal:

4. Its always fun to meet random people from other states who just come to Boston to get wrecked. Always!
5. Hey TK I met the Sacred Heart University wrestling coach. He loves to booze. You would of been proud.
6. Some days it is better to be the lion than it is to be the lamb.
7. I have no idea or clue why my face is so dry in the summer.
8. Friday night Redsox games on the Monster are where its at.
9. Would you rather a vacation house on a lake in NH or a beach house down the Cape?
10. Fantasy football draft order is done. Now we just gotta figure out a venue to check out Welchies hot dress.
11. Chrissy hates tank tops but loves sleeveless muscle shirts.
12. I still really dont understand Snapchat.
13. Apparently, Jaydisco has teabagged Phil Mickelsons golf shoes before. Let that sink in.
14. New Orleans is booked. October 30th - November 3rd. Come on down.
15. What are the rules on planting things at a grave site. If you plant something are you responsible for upkeep on it?
16. There are so many different words for vagina and dick that its quite amazing.
17. Anyone up for a house painting party? The exterior. Beers and Pizza if you help or cash if you do it solo.
18. Jogging with 2 dogs while hung over is probably not one of my very best ideas this year. Dry heave city baby!!

Thats it for now.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Back again

I am back from vacation and fully refreshed, so lets bang out a black jack sized list - 21 mother fuckers!

This is what I learned while I was away:
1. Steven Whitley purchased his 1st 30 pack of his life. Back when he was drinking you could only get a case.
2. I guess today is National socialization day. I socialize every day.
3. The dating game is tough now a days. I think I would totally dominate the Match scene.
4. Congrats to Mike " Flounder" Foley on his job down in North Carolina. The things we do for our kids.
5. Fucking Matt Talieri, all that cross fit has me hood winked. Kid swan dove over this pool for $30( I laid next to the pool to show how long it was).

6. Hendu still gets to lay the pipe!
7. They are killing off comic book Archie? He will be getting shot taking a bullet for his gay best friend.
8. Have you seen Pawnography? Pretty sure you can dominate it.
9. Chrissy says he can go to New Orleans, Chrissys wife says other wise.
10. The Silent Funneler's bachelor party is in Atlantic City in September, did you get your invite?
11. It is always great to get a new cell phone.
12. Padraig "Mr North Shore" Calnan has been summering down in Sandwich. He says the Cape is not the south shore.
13. I am not the only person who wakes up with random bruises, right?
14. Has anyone heard from CVG? Chrissy is very worried about him.
15. Dealing with family drama is always fun. AND I MEAN ALWAYS!
16. Calnan how is operation bring back hand jobs coming along? Its been months.
17. Do people really get upset when they don't get mentions on the blog?
18. It is pretty early but people are already bullshit talking about fantasy football, come on Rob!
19. Do not try the southwest steak burrito from Dunks. NASTY!
20. The Southewick Zoo is legit. Lots to do with little children.
21. Iggles is moving, where no one knows but rumor has it he is leaving Mass.

As always I am sure I forgot way more than remembered.

Monday, June 30, 2014


Its July 4th week, that means fireworks, bbqs and sun tans. Remember suns out guns out when you are drinking to 'Merica!!

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Apparently Jeffrey believes he looks like Luke Bryan.
2. Thanks again Jebby and the entire Chipman clan for yet another great Pig roast.

3. Are you supposed to hurt the day after getting a massage?
4. The #Sundayselfies are really taking off.
5. The cookout season is upon us and that means the coolers packed

6. How many Best friends can ya have?
7. Can you give up anal on the 1st date? Is that even legal?
8. Chrissy really knows how to pick out a great steak.
9. Zac Brown Band was awesome I would 100% see them again.

10. Fake boobs - what is your take? Yes? No? Depends? Who cares? You know what my daddy always said "more than a mouthful is a wasteful".
11. I like vicariously through Jaydisco's dating stories. I love them.
12. Cloyd River t shirts are the shit.
13. Smiddys not giving up on these Boston Red Sox and neither should you.
14. It takes 2 weeks to get a pretty decent beard.
15. Jeffrey and Chrissy are both being bitches about getting another tattoo.
16. Smiddy and Folan have yet to go to Twin Rivers.
17. Why is it, when you talk to people about making some sort of plans they are all gung ho and in but when it comes to paying for tickets or actually going through with the plans there are a million excuses.
18. People are really upset with the Celtics picks this year.

See you guys the 5th or the 6th.

Monday, June 23, 2014

I am back

Yes I did not update the blog last week. I was on vacation!! That means a vacation from this blog as well.

This is what I learned the last few weeks:
1. My grays are coming in fast and furiously.
2. We raised $1040 for Dana Farber. I have 23 shirts left over if anyone wants to buy one/donate.
3. There is not much to do in Oak Ridge, Tenn. Knoxville is another story -$.25 beers, Yes Please!
4. Staining a deck is a pain in the balls.
5. Jeffrey is really stepping up his selfie game.
6. Don't forget that Jebs family pig roast is this Saturday.
7. Smiddy really really wants off the group texts guys.
8. Folan is killing it at the ABG.
9. Congrats to Welchie and Brighto on winning the State dart title - C division. They are now moving on up to B. If anyone wants to try out.
10. I am a top notch gift giver.
11. Nothing worse than missing spots while putting on sun screen. My feet and toes are burned up.
12. Do you have friends that when they talk all you hear is Charlie Browns teacher?
13. The Coors light Summer Brew is shit! Not the shit just shit.
14. Babies love to eat sand. There isn't much you can do about that.
15. I fucking hate Wal-mart. HATE IT and the people who shop there.
16. Folan is trying to bring back overalls with one strap down. Good luck Folan.
17. There was a Mark Welch and Mike Layden sighting on Saturday night. Both are doing great.
18. Cook out at my house on July 5th. All are welcome. Ill have food you bring beers. Oh and if you are afraid of dogs, I have 2. Whatever food is left over there will also be a cookout July 6th.
19. Jeffrey is rocking a new truck.
20. It doesn't cost anything to be nice and smile every once and a while.
21. People were disappointed that Riccio didn't show for the crawl.
22. If you were wondering yes I am still rocking a mustache.
23. Mario and Smiddy are both off of FB.
24. Talking/texting in 3rd person is always fucking funny.

That is all for now. See ya Saturday at the Pig roast.