Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Week 11 in the books...

Week 11 is in the books and there are only 6 more weeks left in this fast moving fantasy season. Tmx is here to report!!

 First lets get the many injuries out of the way that effected the scores, Ball, Bradshaw, Sanders ( after he posted a nice 100yd game) J. Thomas, Jordan Reed (real shock) Fitzy, and Dwayne Allen were among the notable injuries that hurt teams this week. The races are as tight as they've been all year at the bottom (Grahamatron not included- sorry) and at the top.

 Lets take a look at  how the week played out. First place and 4 time weekly winner Black Dynamite put up a huge 182 pt week which could have been a 200 burger if Manning didnt have an off week. RBs Bell and Charles (trade rape) both put up over 35 points and the wagon is in full gear. 2nd this week with all the moving and shaking hes done is DMC with 154 the two trick pony led the way but now its looking to become a 3 ring circus with newly acquired Jeffery and Blue putting up number!! 3rd place this week was NoRomo with 149 Tmx was pulling for the kid to pull it out but the rookie wideouts couldn't carry him as Benjamin pulled his weight and Evans had a MONSTER game with 46pts. 4th place was the suddenly struggling Slippery Wizards with 145 no one on the team could get over 24pts. 5th place this week was FYW with 129 who got a rare bad week from Luck but who found a new tight end possibly in Feener who had a career game! 6th place this week was Beach Bums with 122. Bums were hit hard by injuries and the Patriots deciding to be a running team. New Bum AJ Green proved his worth and Sanders pitched in (though i doubt he remembers the 23 points he put up) 7th place this week was Jackals with 91, Brown and Maclin had ok games for the usual studs but injury to Bradshaw and once again refusing to address the tight end issue hurt the Jackals. TMX here to help - GET A TIGHT END. 8TH place this week was Grahamatron with 91. Waiver add Jordan Mathews led the team but Graham or Tron didnt help TOTALING only 12pts. May wanna take them off the team name!! 9th place was Supah P's with 77. We tried to contact Supah but he was at an "early thanksgiving party" high class dojo type stuff no doubt. The Supah's were hit with a "STAFFinfection" only Beastmode put up good numbers he's immune. Last place this week was Pleasure Palace with a new season low 65pts who suffered from an Allen injury as well as team mvp Murray on a bye. Pp's are not feeling the heat from Noromo for the early battle for beer bitch. Let's make some calls. First up old friend Peyton Manning of Black Dynamite.

  Hey Peyton its TMX whats good? " oh shucks TMX why you calling I stunk today, i'm not gonna make excuses but I had all my guys get hurt" Well Peyton that kinda sounds like an excuse? But anyway your team won the week but coulda broke the 200 pt barrier. " GODDAMMIT TMX GODDAMMIT you know I love records you're telling me I cost the team a record?? THIS IS CHICKENPOOP" click. Wow chicken poop and a hang up?
 First time in TMX history that we've seen Peyton this mad? Watch out looks like he's looking to go off this week, loves records! Lets call a member of the Pleasure Palace. Hey Dwayne Allen its TMX a fantasy (is life) reporter calling to ask what happened out there you put up a 0 for Pleasure Palace this week? " YO TMX I read you guys every week love your stuff about Luck he is a know it all you got that right but  he's the best, wait what team am I on in your league?" Oh its called Pleasure Palace. "what the fuck! like that's a real name? Like a pleasure palace? That a barbie playhouse or some shit? No seriously whats a pleasure palace?" D we dont make up the names I'm not quite sure TMX is calling to talk about the 0 you put up? " Listen Tmx the issue here is a team named after either a brothel, a barbie playhouse or some freak gay shit how can you expect me to take that seriously?? Lucky he got a zero. Whens the trade deadline in your league?" Wow really upset over the team name huh? " yeah man I got go get treatment on my ankle but thats some shit, later TMX keep reporting" Well there you have it? Lets check the standings

1. Slippery Wizards...........................
2. Black Dynomite...............................35pts
3. FYW...............................................114pts
4. DMC................................................134pts
5. BeachBums.......................................152pts
6. Jackals..............................................208pts
7. Supah P's...........................................258pts
8. Pleasure Palace....................................288pts
9. NoRomo...............................................300pts
10. Grahamatron.......................................431pts

Black Dynamite predicted he'd win the whole thing and that the Slippery Wizards would "fold like a house of cards" and now the "wagon" is rolling and only 35pts from the top!!  3-5 has been a battle all season and continues to be with DMC and Beachbums furiously chasing down FYW. Jackals and Supah P's are trying to stay in the middle of the pack while NoRomo was the biggest mover making up 84 points on the 8th place spot!! There are only 6 weeks left and nothing is even close to being settled. Like this week any team is capable of making  up 80 plus points. Lets hope everyone stays healthy and we have a competitive next 6 weeks. The waiver wire has helped teamed all week so i'm sure it will this week with the new toys like Jonas out there. Traids  happen so be careful before you leap. As always if you got breaking news send it to TMX. TMX out.

Monday, November 17, 2014

I love Turkey day

I love me some turkey day. I live for sitting my fat ass on the couch, fucking up some turkey, drinking my face off and watching football.

This is what I learned this week:
1. People are pissed, even though they love it, about the Dunkin Donut croissant donut being $2.49 (we haven't even had a review from Chrissy yet).
2. Calnan may or may not make it to the strip club after the annual street hockey game this year, just depends on if his lady friend has plans for him or not.
3. I have been playing angry birds transformers and I kinda like it.
4. It is totally normal to wake up and decide to go to Georgia for a day.
5. Hey Rio, they fuck ya in the drive through. Or at the car dealership.
6. Kkaties in Marshfield is super clean, and they have Buffalo tots. Let that sink in!
7. Beef jerky is totally under rated.
8. Rain is one thing but an ice cold rain is a whole other level of miserable.
9. Anyone know any good chiropractors on the South shore? My backs killing me.
10. We all have that one friend who wont shut up right? If you don't then you must be that friend.
11. I love the term "You da real MVP".
12. I don't care who knows it. That Taylor Swift song Shake it off, is my jam!!
13. Baked Ziti, a poor mans lasagna, is fucking great.
14. I am officially 70% gray and 29% non gray - you figure it out(plus Im not good with maths).
15. What is everyone doing Turkey Eve and Thanksgiving night? Will Flounder be back in Mass or will he be kicking at a bar in NC?
16. Talking at work, do people still celebrate New Years eve?
17. Sweet potatoes make your hair grow faster.
18. How are we not going to Foxwoods for this old school Hip hop Show, on November 29th?
  • Public Enemy
  • MC Lyte
  • Rakim
  • Big Daddy Kane
  • EPMD
  • Special ED
  • Black Sheep
  • Slick Rick
19. Guess when people win pools they don't tip anymore? Not that this is the reason why I run a pool but isn't that what you do?
20. ...and I still hate Sam Adams beers.

This is what I hate right now:
1. Everyone pushing pumpkin, I hate pumpin and I hate people who push it even more.
2. Paying for a bad meal. Its one thing if food sucks another when you have to pay for it.
3. People who ask for advice and then do the exact opposite.
4. The vanilla almond milk that Dunks uses in their ice coffee, that floats around like you are drinking spoiled milk and gives me the willies.
5. People who tailgate you like a mother fucker and hit their steering wheel and shit. Hey fuck you!

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Week 10 review

TMX is back after a one week hiatus to report all the news of week 10 in fantasy (real life) football. Last weeks winner was Slippery Wizards who are still holding off the hard chargers to remain in first place. 

The trash talking has ramped up as we head into the final 7 weeks of the season. Teams are getting huge weeks from with defenses and players putting up 40 burgers on the regular  and ALMOST everyone is in striking distance with the last of the big byes past. The stretch run should bring lots of movement!! TMX also had a TMX exclusive interview with IGGLES " hey you clowns still trying to manage teams?? " whoa Iggles whats that mean come on? " well tell whoever has Maclin Sanchez loves Mathews and he will have a big game Monday"(  EDITORS NOTE  I did relay this message just in case Iggles was right to the Maclin owner and rest of the league) Mathews line from Monday Night- 7rec 138yds 2 tds= 34pts for a player not in the league! Ouch hurts when Iggles makes the call. Tmx can hear him cackling from parts unkown as we type this!! Enough about notorious Iggles lets get on with the week 10 results. This weeks winners were the surging Beachbums who have rode their new players aquired in TRAIDS to 177pts!! Philly d put up 43 and Dez (TR) pitched in with 38!! helping the Beachbums move closer to the money into 4th! 2nd place this week was Black Dynamite with 175 looks like "the wagon" is finally rolling on all cylinders led by Manning and Marshall among others!! 3rd place this week was DMC with 167. 
The two trick pony did it again getting over 80 from Rodgers and Jordy! 4th this week was Supah P's with 142 Cards d and Beastmode put up monster weeks to help offset T.Williams dropping a goose egg on the Supahs!! 5th this week was Slippery Wizards with 130 Julio Jones and Lacy Sundays led the Wizards. 6th place was Grahamatron 129pts who boldly stated on Wednesday that he had the week one and as one anonymous owner say " well Grahamatron was right he did win the week ROBFREY" kind cryptic?? 7th place this week was newly named NoRomo with 117pts led by his young wrs Benjamin and Evans (keeper league studs). 8th place this week was PP (name has been abbreviated to spare the embarrassment) with 105 led by new wr Bryant and old stand by and possible league mvp Murray. 9th place this week was Jackals with 93 ( Maclin owner we spoke of prior)  was led by new qb-wr combo Brees-cooks! Last place this week was FYW with 90pts. FYW was hurt by the Indy bye week and had only roddy white to lean on, not getting far with that. Lets make some calls!

First call to the Beachbums Dez Bryant, Yo Dez its TMX whats good?? " nah nah i aint talking to you guys reporting that me and the fellas broke curfew f-that holmes" No no Dez tmX with and X not a z, the fantasy site not the other one! " oh my bad ruff ruff where my dogs at DMX how you doing dog? Wait you in jail again? Cuz I need a new contract I got no money for ya DOG" No no dez its TMX not DMX calling about your week? "oh TMX i thought you were out of business saw no review last week? Whats good? Love my new team cant believe I landed here for some rookie WR, its all good now! But listen I aint talking right now cuz i'm on a mission to GET PAID, prolly be calling me next week too DEZ out!! Wow a fired up Dez checking in and calling his shot for next week!! 

Next up we give a call to last place team FYW's Jay Cutler. Hey Cutty hows it going really let down the team this week what happened? " Hey TMX whats going on? got a smoke on you? Love me a good smoke, anyway no biggie threw a td didnt get hurt, i mean defense got torched huh? Uhhm well I guess but Cutty you put up 9pts this week kinda killed the team in the one week they needed you? " thats cool, though aint no thing 9 points good in that league if not change the scoring? Anyway i'm heading to my beach to chill man wish this league had two bye weeks dont you TMX" Guess Cutty's care factor is around zero pretty much a wasted call!! Heading to week 11 with only 7 weeks left lets take a look at the final standings.

1. Slippery Wizards
2. Black Dynamite.....................72pts
3. FYW....................................99pts
4. Beachbums..........................129pts
5. DMC....................................143pts
6. Jackals................................154pts
7. Supah P's..........................191pts
8. PP's...................................209pts
9. Noromo..............................305pts
10. Grahamatron.....................377pts

        Fyw took a hit with Luck and the boys on a bye and dropped from 2-3 while Black Dynamite has made the move from 4-2. The Jackals were the biggest drop going down from 3 to 6, Beachbums and Dmc swapped 5 and 6 while Supahs and PP's swapped 7 and 8!! The bottom 2 remain the same.  The way this league has been putting up points with 7 weeks there is alot of time to make a move!! Dallas, Jets, Jax and Baltimore are on the byes this week as the big bye weeks are done. The trade and waiver wire has been the key to movements this year so every team should head to one of them !! TMX apologizes for no review last week(we submitted an article but APPARENTLY the Editor was on vacation out in the South West) but is back for the remainder of the season!! Lets stay healthy and have a good week TMX OUT.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Who missed me?

Yes, I know I said I would try to update the blog when I was on vacation but guess what I was enjoying my time away and didn't feel like it.

This is what I learned while I was away (a nice case):
1. The Grand Canyon is amazeballs (I have a shit ton of pics if anyone wants to see them).

2. The whole southwest is all franchises and fast food joints.
3. I don't know if there are aliens but something 100% happened at Roswell. A government cover up at the very least.
4. As good as vacation is, it is always good to be into a routine.
5. Jeffrey hates fun things.
6. Coach Rob's team can't stop the run.
7. $5.00 for the Redzone on my phone may be the best money I spent all year.
8. Since Jeffrey is addicted to Divas, he is planning on having a Survivor series party at my house November 23rd. All are welcome.
9. I think Mario may of secretly came into some money. He bought a house and now a brand new truck. Must be nice living on primrose lane.
10. Apparently in Texas there are quilt and gun shows everyday all day.
11. Fucking cowboy boots are expensive as all fuck.
12. If you have a chance check out Carlsbad Caverns. Insane!
13. If hotels don't have 13th floors does it also mean they don't have rooms 666?
14. Are we still "asking for a friend?" Asking for a friend.
15. The Alamo was pretty awesome as well. Yes, I know there is no basement.
16. No biggie just a dead shark at the end of my street:

17. I was too fat to ride a mule at the Grand canyon. You need to be 225 lb fully clothed and I came in at 235 lb ...whomp whomp whomp.
18. I swear too fucking much when I am bombed.
19. Heard a rumor that Chrissy is doing no shave November but for his BALLSACK!
20. Where should I go on vacation next? And who is coming with?
21. Soup as a meal is kind of under rated.
22. Have you ever had the coffee roll from Kanes donut. Holy shit that thing will put you in a diabetic shock but its great.
23. Welchie is still kicking ass and taking names in darts. After winning states last year and being bumped up to B division they still have not lost in over a year.
24. I love the winter but I hate how it dries out my skin.

This is what I am currently hating:
1. Family drama.
2. Co-workers who do not communicate.
3. The Bruins season so far and add the Celtics to that list too.
4. Mother fuckers who don't text back.
5. Long ass car rides.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

TMX week 8 review - Casey Casum style


Week 8 is in the books and it was a wild week with tons of stars having career days!! Every team in the league went over 100 and the lowest was 117!! The real bye week are coming up with 6 teams on the bye including ATL, BUF, CHI, DET, GB, TENN alot of teams will be scrambling. The annual long distance dedications are in this review so we will get right to the week 8 scoring. 

The winner this week were the Jackals with 178pt led by arguably the best wr duo in the league Macklin and Brown putting up a combined 78pts; 2nd place and coming on strong was Pleasures with 176 led by the 33pt dolphin d and bye week replacement palmer!! 3rd place with 166 was Slippery Wizards who got a td hat trick from Gronk and a Lacy Sundays showing; 4th place was FYW with 159 who continues to ride possible fantasy MVP Luck and Forte; 5th place was Beachbums with 155 80 of which came from two players Brady and Sanders; 6th place was Supah P's who are rolling with Tate and Gates two candidates for suprises of the year. 7th place was Black Dynamite with 135 with Charles and Cobb playing the stars; the bench mob put up 112 and continues to flourish for the wagon ON THE BENCH; 8TH place was Romosexuals with 121 led by waiver pick ups Hillman and Watkins ; 9th place with 120 was DMC the two trick pony added a 3rd as foster had a huge game; last place was the spiralling Grahamatrons with 117 Ingram showed some life but the rest of the team not so much and Big Ben put up 71 as a one man bench mob!! The standing continue to move as teams start to creep toward the top. Top three remained the same as did bottom two.

1. Slippery Wizards
2. FYW.....................................21pts back
3. Black Dynomite......................73pts
4. Jackals..................................92pts
5. DMC......................................123pts
6. Pleasure Palace.......................134pt
7. Beach Bums.............................157pts
8. Supah P's.................................159pts
9. Romosexuals.............................219pts

  The Jackals with the win moved ahead of DMC into fourth and Pleasure Palace and Beach bums both jumped the Supah P's, as previously stated the big bye weeks are coming so expect alot of movement the next two weeks!! Lets have some fun with a little TMX first have recap with the long distance dedications!! Each team matched to a TMX hip hop 90s song this year LETS DO IT.

1. ICE ICE BABY - Slippery Wizards hanging on to his boy Matty Ice coming out like the best new thing going, rag top down and all. Time will tell if Slippery Wizards get exposed like Robert Van Winkle did.

2. DONT SWEAT THE TECHNIQUE - FYW. I mean what can you do about a team in second starting guys on the IR and keeping them rostered.

3. STEADY MOBBING - Black Dynamite. Have you ever seen such a thing in your life?? BD rolling with his bench mob and a wagon just waiting to take the crown. CROWN THEY ASSES!!

4. NOW THAT WE FOUND LOVE (what are we gonna do with it) - The Jackals.- finally fitting in with a big week and his team and him falling in love after numerous near suicide texts of his Sunday being ruined!! Team looks primed to make a move.

5. MY MINDS PLAYING TRICKS ON ME - DMC - Team DMC losing his top rb and wr and everytime you look at his team you say man this team sucks but somehow someway hes been in the top 5 all season. Guess DMC just hoping he doesn't wake up and his knuckles all bloody from punching on the concrete

6. HI MY NAME IS.....Pleasure Palace - took over the team halfway through made an odd trade and rolling with the worse name in the league, team looks ready to go with Demarco Murray putting up huge numbers every week, due for a 100/100 soon.

7. JUST A FRIEND - Beachbum s - Everyone's favorite traid partner, AND YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND, has somehow got a fearsome team through trades and a resurgent Tommy Brady. Primed for second half success

8. HOT STEPPAH - Supah P's - Supah P's moving and shaking up and down the standings if Stafford gets his boy back things could get interesting MURDERAAAAAAAAAAAAH

9. ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS - Romosexuals- what else can you say about a team that made a move for budding superstar Kelvin Benjamin?? Giving up Dez for him!! High risk high reward or is this a keeper league??

10. HARD KNOCK LIFE - Gramatron. Well injuries, taking two tight ends, ROBFREY advice?? Who knows the reason but currently the Gramatrons are in a tough tough spot, but as TMX always says you don't win nothing in first 8 weeks!!

 Well we are heading to the second half and hopefully the bye weeks don't kill team and the injuries slow down. TMX is signing off for the rest of the day!! Good luck see you next week!!

Monday, October 27, 2014


Is everyone geared up for Halloween? Sorry to inform everyone but Mario and Ashley's 1st Annual Halloween Party won't be kicking off this year but maybe next.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. There has been Tooma sighting!! Kids tearing it up in the Poconos.
2. Man little kid parties are something. Little bastards running everywhere.
3. Fogo De Chao is something. I fucked up that place.
4. I feel like chili is under rated.
5. Is there anything worse than an ingrown hair?
6. Matty Hayes got me doing the rowing machine. I am not gonna lie, I don't hate it.
7. Speaking of Hayes, the Booze Scouts are looking for another person to join the tough mudder team because he has dropped out. If interested please seek out Coach Calnan.
8. Nothing to see here, just Mitchell chipping her tooth while boozing. Move along people.
9. Chrissy is planning a get together tomorrow night of Barrets Haunted house and some dinner if anyone is interested.
10. Coming down with a cold may be the worst. It slowly beats ya down.
11. I am going to be on vacation next week so I cant promise a posting next Monday but I will do my best to post something.
12. Food Coma is a real thing. BELIEVETHAT!
13. There are more words that break the rule I before E except after C than there are actual I before E words.
14. I don't talk on the phone much but some days when I do, I feel like I get to talk to every moron imaginable.
15. Never, and I repeat never, fall asleep on your couch and wake up to Frozen being on. Scary ass shit. Cartoons with singing and more singing. You have no clue where the fuck you are.
16. If you were in a lip syncing contest, sing off what would your song be? I would ROCK THE FUCK OUT to the OUTFIELD YOUR LOVE

17. Fun Fact: The average person will walk past a murderer about 36 times in their lifetime. Its a fun fact because they didn't murder you.
18. Guys always try to be a gentleman. It really doesn't cost anything to be nice and use your manners.

Bonus Round - This is what I am hating right now:
1. My alarm clock.
2. People jumping on and off the Bruins bandwagon. You can't only like a team when they are kicking ass you have to go through some adversity.
3. Salty things.
4. It pains me to write this but cupcakes right now.
5. Dumb questions.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

TMX Week 7 review

TMX week 7 review is up and sticking with the group text theme its anger filled!! (editors note TMX is all about helping and fun but this week the skinny is coming out to show the league what it looks like)

There were more injuries this week- like the entire bills rb committee going down!! WTF stay healthy!! Couple of bullshit trades went down, questioning the intergrity of owners as Pleasure Palace (rob's house?) swapped Gio Bernard and Harvin wth the Beachbums for Vereen and Decker the league anger over this one made many forget the traderape for Dez!! Beachbums made another move getting more rb depth by gettng Ball and a kicker for Mathews and another kicker. The way the season's shaping up for the Beachbums I'm sure Ball comes back to form. Speaking of back to form Black Dynamite did just that winning this week with 150 points. Finally realizing that the BENCHMOB didn't count; he put it together as the bench only got 69pts.

Brandon Marshall and Fitzy totalled 11pts so they  can GET BENT!! 2nd this week was FYW who had 139. Hey Ridley 0 pts this week and Witten 3?? Get the fuck out of here with that and I don't want to hear oh riddler was hurt! You were started you produce. 3rd place this week was Romosexuals with 124. Hey Andre Williams you were a big part of the Dez trade how about producing like you did in the mods at BC you stiff!! Oh and Alshon Jeffery 1 point?? Lucky your shitty ass wasn't traded at  halftime. Beachbums and his dream team came in 4th this week with 123. Julius Thomas great week to shit the bed!! 4pts?? Yeah don't let that happen again, Bbums will trade you so fast your head will spin, oh and Tate 4pts?? Dont matter your ass is replaced, went to the rape forest and brought home Gio Bernard!! 5th place this week is the Jackals not sure if the owners have been suspended or kidnapped but they haven't said much all week?? Jackals got 121 this week. J.Hill you got 1 point this week?? Prolly should have started Gonzalez over you're ass you slug. Hey Edelman 7pts?? Better bring it this week midget. 6th place this week was Supah Ps Beastmode? 8 points?? What the fuck is that?? How about we cut off your skittles? Terence Williams you also got 8 pts your lucky Supahs picked you up off waivers keep this up you'll be back on waivers scrub. 7th place with 116 this week was Slippery Wizards. Gore 2 points?? Cant happen! YOU HEAR ME?? Cant. Ryan and Julio suppose to be a legit combo well 21 pt total aint no combo you clowns. 8th place this week was DMC with 107. Vernon davis and FJax combined for 7 points?? You sh*tting me?? FJax play hurt once in a while will you?? and Vernon would it kill you to get f*cking open and make a play?? 9th place this week was Pleasure Palace ( name sucks) with 86 Gio two points i'll trade your ass ( wait he really did?) and seahawks d putting up 3pts?? thought you guys were good? Get your shit together. Last place this week was Grahamatron with 72  ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS JIMMY GRAHAM AND BOLDEN?? Fucking zeros?? We play to score you morons. GFY's!! Seriously zeros?? F*ck that noise.

Lets make some calls with less anger. First up old friend Peyton Manning . Hey Peyton its TMX congrats on the record and another great week! " Hey TMX hows it going love the work you guys do, got a short week this week cant do any interviews trying to prepare for Muddy Rivers, tell all the guys at TMX I said hi though and hope never to be part of Wes Cash's investigative reporting!!" Hmm ok Peyton i'm sure we will call you again this year good luck tomorrow. Next up Jimmy Graham. Hey Jimmy its TMX what happened this week?? " Oh man TMX whats up? What had happened is I was sitting in the locker room listening to my Will Smith cd, That Boom Boom Shake the room shit,  and they said you're playing so i'm like huh what?? Then I saw my man Breesy wink so i was like oh I get it!!" Wait you telling us you were a decoy and didnt bother to call owners at GRAHAMatron?? They named their teamed after you?? "Oh about that I called my man, I've been down with those guys since the Scuba Steve days, and some guy answered said his name is Bobby Weasle and he will pass along the message? He didnt start me did he?? So sorry, anyway TMX I see the review aint out yet you better run!! " You are correct Jimmy, wow what a developement, wonder who Bobby Weasle is?? Wes Cash get back from Bora Bora we got a CONTROVERSY!!

  The standings now are as follows:

1. Slppery Wizards
2. FYW.........................................................14pts back ...............moved 13pts closer
3. Black Dynomite.........................................41pt back.................moved 34pts closer
4. DMC..........................................................77pts back...............lost 10pts from last week
5. Jackals.......................................................104pts.....................moved 4pts closer
6. Supah P's....................................................134pts......................moved 4pts closer
7. Pleasure Palace...........................................144pt.......................lost 30pts from last week
8. Beach Bums..................................................147pts.....................moved up 6pts
9. Romosexuals.................................................173pts......................moved up 8pts
10. Grahamatrons..............................................245pts.......................lost 45pts

           The big byes are coming up and the leaders are getting closer. Grahamatron and his badly injured team is putting an addition and new gym in the basement tough tough start the rest of the teams are starting to come to form and either rise to the top or come back to the pack!! The angry review is done and hopefully the league will get back to being fun and the trades will level out a little with less panic going on. Week 8 starts tonight and there is a 930 AM game this Sunday. NFLyou serious?? Good luck and lets avoid the injuries. TMX OUT.

(Dont be another victim of Trade Rape - Trade rape leads to Traids!)

Monday, October 20, 2014

Whoa whoa whoa

How do we go from 80 degrees to 38? I mean can't we have a gradual decline?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The Border Cafe is pretty fucking good.
2. Mario has a nice house over there in Saugus.
3. Calnan is learning that cats are not cheap to own.
4. Never call  back those non soliciting gambling numbers.
5. Iced green tea isn't bad.
6. Anything can happen in fantasy football.
7. Not everyone should own a dog or a pet for that matter.
8. Its amazing how a haircut and a shave can make you feel great.
9. There is  no denying that the people of the North shore are a bit out there.
10. Never a dull moment when your BAE is called a pussy by a bombed drunk lady at the bar.
11. When is the right time to turn on your heat?
12. Chrissy has a house full of sick children. But that just means loads of meds for them and shit tons of beers for him.
13. When is Buffalo Wild Wings opening up at the Plaza?
14. There has been a Smiddy sighting, well more like confirmation he is alive via the text but either way.
15. Don't bother texting Brady for a wellness check, she is not all that chatty. More like a plotter of deaths than chatter.
16. I feel that Andy Capp Hot fries may be underrated.
17. Welchie, I really do not know what is being said in that Microsoft tablet commercial.
18. If you are going to eat eggs, how do you not eat runny yolks?
19. Chrissy is putting a road trip to North Carolina together to visit, Flounder. Who is in?
20. Speaking of Flounder, he has become something of a part time travel agent. He can tell you the best times to get flights.
21. Has anyone heard from Jeffrey? Last I heard he was checking out vacation homes on Marthas Vineyard.
22. If you don't have a lucky number then I think you have something wrong with you...just saying.

Bonus Round - this is what I hate right now:
1. Being sick.
2. All things sports related.
3. Snide comments muttered under peoples breaths.
4. Driving to work when its pitch black out.
5. Wearing a belt.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Week 6 review

TMX here with your week 6 review!!

Everyone in the league except Romosexuals gained ground on the leader board this week!! Biggest mover is the week winner FYW who jumped from 4th to second and now is just 37 points from the top!! Beachbums put up another solid week as his trades and sticking to Brady seems to be putting them back to their usual top at the spot!! DMC the two trick pony came through and they continue to hang out in the top 3, the Wagon slipped a bit to 4 but still in striking distance. Jackals, Pleasure Palace and Suupahs move closer to the top but stayed 5-7. Romosexuals dropped to 9 and Beachbums moved up to 8, the injury prone Grahamatrons are still locked in the basement for now.  Waiver wire players made big impacts this week and there were two trades DMC (TR??) Vernon Davis and chargers d for Brian Quick and dolphins d with Pleasure Palace and the suddenly desperate Slippery Wizards traded Sproles for the bills D with Jackals. Wes Cash  has not returned yet from Bora Bora so there is onoce again no investigation going on. 

The week went as follows- 1st this week is red hot FYW ( Wes Cash still investigating the super secret meaning with the TMX code crackers) 183pts!! Forte, Luck and TY Hilton all went off for FYW who even dealt with the Ridley injury and had no problem. 2nd this week with 136 was Beachbums riding Brady and newly acquired Lesean McCoy. 3rd place went to DMC with the two trick pony of Rodgers to Jordy ( Wacco for Flacco trying to get in went off for 47 on the bench. BENCH MOB) 4th place was Pleasure Palace ( welcome to having the worse name in the league, you guys sponsored by a sex shop?? Was crazy prison eyes taken?) with 131. Kap and the loaded rb tandem of Nat Gio and Murray did their usual big number thing. 5th place was Black Dynamite aka the wagon with 130. Manning, Marshall and Pats d led the charge. The Bench Mob for Black dynamite put up 130 as well with Newton playing out of his mind. 6th place was SupahP's with 130 - Supah using the wire and great plays of Sanu and J. Bell . 7th place was The Jackals who's ownership quit their day job this week to focus soley on Fantasy football!! Tmx wishes him good luck. Jackals put up 121 on a Brees bye week led by Dalton and top wr brown. Grahamatron finished in 8th putting a respectable 114 up despite getting NEGATIVE points from spiller. Muddy Rivers and hot wire pick up Cousin Oliver carried the team.9th this place was Slippery Wizards whos only decent performer was Demaryius Thomas. Last place this week with 88pts was Romosexuals. Jordan Cameron is back but the rest of the team not so much. This league has turned into you need 115-120 to have an ok week no longer is it 100pts and your good!! Lets make some TMX calls

First up to the winners FYW we give TY Hilton a call after his 223yd 9 rec td performance. Hey TY its  TMX whats good?? " hey TMX so glad to hear from you, I knew you'd call Andrew told me he's sooo smart" Uggh here we go so Andrew Luck playing the smart guy act again?? Anyway great week how'd you get so many yards? " well Andrew went to Stanford and he's so smart he said hey TY run deep i'll throw it to you, you'll get a ton of yards. Guys a genius cuz it worked" So you think cuz Luck is smart and not cuz no one covered you you got all those yards?? " well of course hey TMX hey to cut this short but Andrew is teaching us some 15 syllable words we can use today I gotta run" Uhhm ok TY good luck next week and tell Luck TMX said psuedoantidisestablismentarianisms!!! Sometimes TMX has to show its skinny side!!!!  Next call and hopefully a better one is to last place team Romosexuals bench mob star Ronnie Hillman. Hey Ronnie its TMX whats happening!! " oh TMX whats up!! So happy to be picked up off the wires by an IGGLES disciple who lives by the pick them up play them credo!! Nothing worse than fools picking players up and sitting them" Well Rondog sorry to say you were on the bench this week! " wait what? I was picked up and not played?? Nah  homie tell me he had two rbs who put up 40 burgers? " Well not quite Moreno and that stud Sankey that's all the rage. " TMX rondog is so mad right now, no flex appeal NOTHING??" Afraid not BENCH. " TMX I hope they throw me back out to the waiver wire if they aren't playing me I gave my all for the club" I hear ya buddy guess that's up to the Romosexuals. Later Rondog. " TMX hope you call again and can I get a TMX tshirt" Sure Later Ronnie!!  Well there you have it, players taking the benching personal, cant blame him.

  The season is already in week 7 and the byes are coming in and so are the injuries Cruz, Ridley and Moreno all lost for the season while Sproles, Calvin, Aj and bush still trying to get healthy among other. The waivers will be active again and hopefully so will the trade front.


Monday, October 13, 2014

Coumbus Day

Lookie lookie, Derek decided to show up for a holiday. Long Live Amerigo Vespucci!! We aren't named for Columbus people...get with it.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Chrissy is not a fan of Sunday weddings, when he has to work Monday.
2. People apparently are saying Fat Derek was way nicer than Skinny Derek. Uhm still me bro!
3. Calnan is really pushing this Tough Mudder, check in with him to get your assignment of how you should be training.
4. Jeffrey is known blower offer. Kid blows everyone off.
5. I am glad that the Bruins are back - your 2014-2015 Boston Bruins.

6. There is nothing worse than having no zip on the weekends.
7. Kowloon food is legit but man do they want you out of there as soon as you are done eating. No more drinks no more nothing.
8. If you need any projects at your house done MikeyT is becoming quite proficient in all things home remodel.
9. This place has great pizza, http://angeloscoalfiredpizzas.com/ but terrible service.
10. Its not normal that my dog falls down the stairs while trying to walk up them - bum acl.
11. Why is it so difficult to find a comfortable belt?
12. I keep losing my wedding band because it is too loose.
13. Congrats to Suzy and Sean on their wedding.
14. Jeffreys Fan Duel addiction may or may not need an intervention - (888) 830-2271 

BONUS ROUND This is what I am hating right now:
1. Cheap people.
2. Candy Corns.
3. Fantasy football.
4. Warm beers.
5. Mother fuckers who don't text back.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

TMX week 5 review

Week 5 is in the books and it was one of the wildest weeks TMX has seen in a long time!! We had our second buyout of a team in ADSL history, this one not as complicated as the Iggles, just a straight 100 dollars take your team as Midnight Tokers were bought out due to death by group text!! The league sanctioned group text which is a friendly way to offer trades and sometimes advice TAKE THE DEAL apparently was too much for Midnight tokers who went into a rage demanding home addresses of owners!! Bizarre behavior from a former winning organization. TMX  hopes he seeks help for his text related issues and can focus on the fun of fantasy football. Prison eyes on the prize as they say.
The wild week of panic continued as a trading frenzy started. First the Slippery Wizards sent Nick Foles, Julius Thomas, and Jordan Mathews to The Beachbums for underperforming Demaryius Thomas, Rob Gronkowski and Kirk Cousins. The Jackals made two trades first sending underperformer in Shady McCoy to the active Beachbums for Bradshaw and Millar then sending Reggie Bush and Charles Clay to DMC for Zach Ertz and Darren Mcfadden. Last trade of the week was FYW getting Ridley and Roddy White for Chris Johnson and Larry Fitzgerald. TMX has a traderape whistle and if needed any owner can request it at anytime, let put an end to trade rape people!! We also have the ongoing FANDUEL takeover going on that is starting effecting owners. TMX is investigating the possibility of an emergency owners meeting at the chuckpony in Kingston. The commissioner hasn't spoken on either matter. Lets get on to this weeks scoring.

 First place this week Slippery Wizards who found the right buttons to push for Demaryius and Gronk and rode that to 187 points!! Thomas put up a massive 48pt day. Second place was Beachbums who with the new team was able to get 146pts. Ellington had a huge week as well as waiver find VJax and new beachbum Orange Julius chipping in with his 2 tds. Third place was the Supah Ps with 142 with a balanced attack of 5 players over 15pts and Golden Tate taking over for the hurt Megatron. Fourth this week was The Jackals with 141 with PT cruiser  leading the way and Goskowski putting up 19 pts which is more than McCoy had total in the last 4 weeks ( no wonder the panic set in and he was traded) Fifth place this week was Midnight Tokers/I know where you live with 133. The ownership may be in turmoil but the team is still plugging along with Murray and desean Jackson have big weeks. Sixth place this week was Black Dynomite with 129 led by the usual huge game by Manning who dropped a 49 burger for top scorer in the league. ( the wagon's bench had 78pts this week another stellar effort) Seventh place this week was DMC with 120 as Arian Nation found his groove and carried the team. 8th place this week Romosexuals for 116pts led by not Romo but Wilson who dropped 43 on Monday night and could have been more if Percy Harvin didn't have 3 tds called back!! 9th place this week was FYW with 114 after two straight wins they have an off week but Matt Forte did his thing for 31pts!! Last place this week was Grahamatron with a season low 69pts!! The only one showing up for Grahamtron was Muddy rivers who continues to sling it all over!! Many teams were hit with injuries this week but none worse than Grahamtron who lost 4 players, including studs Megatron and Graham. TMX is making its first ever CONFERENCE call to all the injured players on Grahamtron to see what happened!!!

Hellooooo do we have Donnie Brown, Montee Ball, Mega, Jimmy Graham and Larry Donnell on the line?? " hey Tmx we are all here!! This is MEGA you've called me before everyone's here sorry we got hurt, WAIT WAIT Larry Donnell here I didn't get hurt this week" Guys no one likes injuries and we hope your all back giving it your all at least everyone put up points before going out hurt well except you larry what happened you get hurt in the pregame?? " Yeh Larry you had no points, what you injure? GUYS I'M NOT HURT!!" Wait so your saying you put up a ZERO and didn't get hurt? "Dbrown here I'm still a little concussed but youre telling me I got 3 pts and a concussion and left the game and this guy played the whole game not hurt and put up a zero CLICK"  Guys?? guys?? looks like they hung up?? Well lets hope the Grahamatrons find health and that they didn't injure Larry due to our conference call.

Next up we called Demaryius Thomas of the week winning Slippery Wizards. Hey Demaryius how you doing its TMX. "oh cool I'm doing good little bummed Beachbums gave up on me so quick but I'm happy to be here, Julius told me its a great organization so I'm just trying to get points each week, sorry to cut this short but I'm running routes with Peyton, no time to talk hoping to get 3 scores next week" WOW that's ambitious we wish you luck.

There you have it week 5 is in the books and we are moving on to week 6. The season is the wildest yet with the wagon accepting the title in week 2 and teams bailing on stars quicker that we've ever seen. TMX checked the calendar and there is a ton of football left!!

EDITORS NOTE- TMX investigative reporter is off on a beach in BORA BORA checking on the origin of the curse of prison eyes(and reading his favorite books) that may have struck a once promising franchise in the league. Some say its a coincidence that injuries happened to one team but the conspiracy theorist in us all believe that once your address is requested the prison eye curse is dropped around the house and injuries take place. TMX is committed to finding the validity of the curse and if possible the cure!!! Stay tuned. GOOD LUCK IN WEEK. TMX OUT.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Lets roll

I figured I have been blogging for a while now, since 2008 I think. So I am thinking bout adding a bonus list of  5 things I hate (at this moment in time)at the end of each week. Kind of like a bonus round. What do you think?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. No matter how old I get I still love celebrating birthdays. No matter who's it is.
2. Apparently hot sex on a veterinarians desk doesn't just happen in porno movies. That's the new hotness.
3. Once it goes in your mouth you have to finish it.
4. Calnan is on the fast track to be man hunter/detective of the year. Keep ya head on a swivel and your shit buried deep in the dirt.
5. Sad to see Kams Garden has not only been renamed to Moto Garden but its actually closed.
6. Sex in a shed is totally okay, as long as the shed has electricity. (Girls and their rules).
7. My hip is still all types of messed up and really messing with me.
8. Chrissy is officially on the Tough Mudder team - which we are either calling Team Booze Bags or the Booze Scouts. We have a team meeting scheduled for Veterans day weekend for the final vote.
                         A. Boozebag one and Boozebag two- similar to Dr Suess Thing one and Thing two
                         B. Booze Scouts - pretty self explanatory, similar to the boys scouts but you get drunk related patches - I got this one for funneling, this one for keg stands, this one for the hour of power...etc
9. If you rent a house with a bunch of people and you happen to hit it off with someone you met at a bar so want to bring them back to the rental but your new housemates are against it what is your recourse? I wouldn't say the guy calls two of his friends to come over and you have a 3 way on the front lawn while his friend watches is really in my top 100 answers for what to do. But hey I guess that happens.
10. Why is it I always get sick before the flu shot comes out?
11. Anyone have $4300 for Ronins ACL surgery on his right leg? Yes, he tore HIS OTHER ACL!
12. If you have any creep shots make sure you send em to Chrissy, he is something of an expert 617-835-6437.
13. The newest Transformer movie sucks.
14. When is wedding season over? Seems like there is a god damn wedding every week.
15. Chrissy and I have officially been friends for 16 years. Its not every day you know the exact day you became friends with someone.
16. People wonder why America is obese - how does an 8.5 oz can of soda cost more than a 2 liter?
17. Chrissy's weight loss update - he went up to 240.4 pounds. Had a rough pre birthday week.
18. Is anyone else as excited as I am that the B's season starts again this Wednesday?
19. Speaking of Wednesday if you are around at 11pm there will be a gathering of friends for Jason Foley at JJ Foleys. Jason is leaving his job and off to bigger and better things. Can the world handle Jason Foley the plumber? I know he has the plumbers crack already down pat.
20. As much as people don't read the blog, a shit ton of people ask me questions about things that I post here all the time. Or they start mid conversation with me like we were talking about something blog related.
21. Homemade hot pepper relish is the shit. I put it on every thing.
22. I hope everyone's suites and dresses fit for Suzie and Sean's (it may be spelled Shawn - I don't fucking know) the silent funnellers upcoming nuptials Sunday in Plymouth. I heard Chrissy is starting to pregame on Friday night for it.

BONUS ROUND of things I hate (at this moment in time):
1. Florida Georgia Line
2. Gluten free everything - go to the doctors and get checked people, dumb asses just being dumb.
3. Boston sports fan with this pendulum of emotion. Fans of every team. One week their team is the worst the next the GOAT. You can never talk real shit with them because of this self disillusion. Lester aint coming back Sox fans so stop holding your breath.
4. Christmas shit being up already.
5. Low fat cheeses. I would rather have a lot less real cheese or no cheese at all than low fat plastic tasting cheese.

Hope I see some of you guys out at the B's game Wednesday night. If you get any pics from the wedding of the year send em my way.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Week 4 recap

Week 4 is in the books and here to report it all is TMX the official fantasy reporting news agency of ADSL.

What a wild week it was in the fantasy/real world!! The group text has officially led to our first threat of bodily harm as the owners of Midnight Tokers were asking for home addresses!!! TMX made SEVERAL calls to midnight tokers for explanations but has yet to get a response!! The league is looking at an emergency owners meeting to see if threats are real and if Tokers team should be removed. Stay tuned!! TMX has also hired well known investigative reporter and former liason to Hank Philippe Ryan (hank on your side) WES CASH to keep track of the latest scandals. Mr. Cash is currently trying to track down funds owed by Black Dynamite from years past and why the WAGON isn't losing 10pts per week!!! The investigation is on going!!

This week saw a lot of movement in the standings due to the bye weeks and some teams having huge weeks. The weekly winner of 75 dollars in cold hard cash was newly named FYW with 176. Its FYW second straight victory and has brought him from 7th to 4th overall. FYW is riding the Andrew Luck train who is putting up 40 burgers each week and looking like an mvp caliber qb. Waiver pick up Asiata also had a huge week for FYW ( no idea what that means but its better than his last name so just go with it people). 2nd place this week was Slippery Wizards with 161. The Wizards rode a strong week by old man Frank Gore and Keenan Allen both of who he offered in trades all week but the numbers didn't match up according to Dave Richard or Dave Dick on the streets. Keep trying Wizards, trades are good for the league. 3rd place this week was DMC with 159. DMC is basically a two man show right now when Rodgers and Jordy are on - they are ON. 4th this week was Gramatron with 128 rumors are circulating that the league is looking into Gramatron's possible gambling addiction as he had 125 fanduel teams last week. This bears watching as the commish is looking to regain control of the league and may set the example here!! Gramatron got the majority of his points from not Jimmy Graham or Megatron but Muddy Rivers and Reggie Wayne!! 5th place this week was Romosexual who have the Texans d, Romo and waiver wire stud Kniles Davis taking the Romos in the right direction as they wait for injuries to heal!! 6th place this week were the Supah P's ( P contacted TMX to say he was flattered by being a name of a team, didn't have the heart to say your team is struggling in 9th but its early) Supah's had 118 led by Stafford and T. Williams yup who outscored Dez great play by the Supahs. 7th place this week was Dillons Villenz, oops autocorrect, Midnight Tokers with 104. Tokers had big guns on a bye and were obviously distracted by group text but still put up a hundo led by Murray who in a redraft may go number one guy, has been a machine. 8th place this week is the Beachbums with 103 led by Millar and Benjamin ( real nfl players I'm told) Beach bums have some waivers or trades to make as the qb situation continues to plague them. God Brady is really testing the patience of the BBums. 9th place this week with 99 points is Jackals. Jackals got a huge week from Antonio Brown and Jackals ownership continues to have a love affair with McCoy. Numerous trade offer refused as he hung on to mr 3pts total last two weeks. I guess cant expect anything but improvement?? Last place this week was Black Dynomite with 78pts. Tough week for "the wagon" with Manning on a bye. Black Dynomite is the first owner TMX has seen that is proud of his bench?? Actually praising its scoring and betting teams starters vs his bench??? For the record TMX has kept a running tally of his bench scoring 75, 112, 74 and 121 this week all of which did nothing to stop them from falling out of first to 3rd? Confused??  So is TMX!! 

 LETS MAKE SOME CALLS!! First call by TMX was to this weeks winners FYW mvp candidate Andrew Luck. Hey Andrew it TMX can we call you Andy or Dandy Andy?? " uhhm I went to Stanford call me Andrew" Well well lets tone it down Andrew we have members of our staff that attended prestigious schools as well, ever heard of UMASS followed by Cape Cod Community College after being asked to leave Umass?? " yeah TMX I'm confused with your questioning, do you have any real questions I'm busy putting up 40 burgers you know" Jeez Andrew your a little snooty, well smarty whats your team name mean FYW?? " Tmx look I respect what you do and I'm happy to be part of FYW but honestly I have no idea" Hmm didn't think so smarty. TMX 1- Smarty 0, in all seriousness thanks for your time Andrew I'm sure we will talk again. "yeah thank you, later" Wow tough interview. TMX next call was to the losing teams Jamaal Charles. Hey Jamaal great week coming back from the injury!! " you know it huge win!! Our management is putting us in the position to win this league!! I know its week four but we are on fire outscoring every team!!! Yo cobb pass me the champagne we got this thing wrapped up!! BENCHMOB FO LIFE" Uhmm Jamal you realize bench points don't count in the league and you are on the bench?? " yeah our management team wants its best players on the bench? its crazy!! but we are all on board got benchmob shirts and we had Brian Scalbrine in here giving us a bench player pep talk just last week!! Yo roddy great game!!!" TMX is literally speechless, well Jamaal good luck the rest of the way I'm sure we will talk to you again. " oh bet TMX love your work, anyone seen  Lions D?? got some champagne for them they lit it up!" Well there you have it. Lets get a look at the standings.

1. Slippery Wizards.....................................
2. Dmc.....................................................24pts back
3. Black Dynomite......................................38pts
4. FYW.....................................................40pts
5. The Jackals...........................................74pts
6. Midnight Tokers.....................................81pts
7. Grahatron..............................................88pts
8. Romosexuals..........................................89pts
9. Supah P's...............................................115pts
10. Beach Bums...........................................137pts

    Tons of movement early on in the season as FYW went from 7th to 4th, Slippery Wizards jumped to first as Black Dynomite's wagon fell to third. The waivers have helped teams move and trades have slowed down for an unknown reason. TMX is on twitter and myspace ( refuse to go to facebook, aint broke why fix it) so if you have any hot leads please hit us up. TMX will continue to bring the news and lead the investigation cuz we are here to help!! Good luck in week 5 and hope to stay injury free. Diggles I got your repeated request for interviews but legally we cannot talk until the court settlement is through. Carolina Creeping we see you. TMX out.

Monday, September 29, 2014

How come...

people don't have Halloween parties anymore?
I mean I miss the days when Chrissy would dress up as a gay cowboy. Or Jeffrey being the Beastie Boys from the Sabotage video.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The MacPhails are celebrating their anniversary today. If you see them at Venus please buy em a shot.
2. Mike Foley must be really killing it down in NC since no one has really heard from him.
3. Speaking of not hearing from people has any heard from KevBarry??
4. Apparently, Padraig Calnan says that no one reads this blog and I am wasting my time. Hey writing is therapeutic.
5. Chrissy is back on track and down to 238. Don't hate on the chubby kid trying to get down to 228.
6. My wife informed me that she wants a 3rd dog, a Pomeranian. That is normal.
7. Papa Johns pizza sucks.
8. I think breakfast is under rated.
9. I do not understand how people work the over night shift. Every single time I have worked it, my week is messed up.
10. Nothing worse than hurting your hip.
11. The older I get the more and more I dislike this new hip hop music. I really am getting to be an old man.
12. Anyone know a good training regiment for The Tough Mudder? Calnan, Rob, Rio, Jeffrey and I are planning on doing Mt Snow in June. Hayes is on the fence.
13.What you know about belonging to the Y, asking for a friend?
14. I don't like fish but I sure as hell like fish tacos, you figure it out.

See you all next week.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

TMX is back


Tmx the premier fantasy news reporting outlet which is loosely affiliated with Folan.com the number 6 ranked internet media outlet is here with all your fantasy news!!! The FOUR PLUS HOUR ADSL draft has come and gone and so has weeks one and two. TMX is finally cleared of the legal hurdles we were forced to jump through over a pending lawsuit put forth by a person who COPYRIGHTED his name and will not allow us to use it or his small stature balled head likeness nor are we allowed to use "ALL IGGLES"( copyright pending*).

Quick recap over the summer our offices were approached by a lawyer named Jimmy Childs who apparently is the low budget lesser known brother of bigshot lawyer Jackie Childs ( who told you to strap a bomb?). Mr Childs informed us that  there were lawsuits pending by (copyrighted name who we will henforth refer to as DIGGLES). Mr Diggles was suing us for using his name and is in the process of copyrighting the All Iggles name so Jimmy Childs told us to "use that shit at your own risk, go ahead I dare you". TMX is not one to back down but the legal funds dwindling we decided to step away from the all Iggles lawsuits. Diggles can have it. Mr Childs you are correct in telling TMX you have the cojones.

Looking at each week TMX will have a you don't have the cojones player for each team. Enough about that and on to the latest news. TMX has seen the most panic waiver wire and sky is falling reactions from the league in years!! ITS WEEK 3 and we have people dress shopping. Speaking of which what a power move dress Supah P's owners showed up with at the draft! TMX instagram (please follow) has the pic up for those who want to see how losing should be done. We have also introduced the term TRADE RAPE to the fantasy world. TMX is totally against trade rape and if any team needs help in preventing such a thing ( crabtree for Wallace?) We all need to stop trade rapes!! See something say something!!!! Heres the breakdown of the current week!!

First place this week was worse team name in the league Los Put Your Nutsaway with a come from behind Monday night take over, 128 pt week led by a 45 burger from Andy Luck.  YOU scared? Sit this week was Broncos D putting up 14 while you started Panthers for 1pt??
Second place this week was new comers The Jackals with 126 losing by 2 points on Monday night, tough to take!! Jackals were led by strong wr corps Maclin and Brown. YOU scared?? Started McCoy (bust??) who had 2 pts and sat reggie smack my kids if I want bush who put up 18!!
3rd this week were the Romosexuals with 124 led by Wilson and sneaky draft day pick of Kniles Davis. YOU scared?? Leaving the bengals 19pts on the bench while starting Texans got you 6. 
4th this week was Slippery Wizards with 118 led by a 67pt Thursday night game from Ryan and Jones. YOU scared sat newly acquired red hot Foles 37 pts!!
5th this week were the Beach Bums Na-nu-na-nu ( tribute to robin Williams) also with 118 led by Sanders and Millar, the Bums like Williams seem a little down if you see him give him a hug or a rope depending on your feelings. YOU scared sat 43pt cousins in favor of the God Brady's 15.

6th place this week was Dirty Moon Crickets with 117 led by Pierre Garcon!! Guess DMC was scared to salsa with Cruz's 24 and stuck by Jordy and his 8!!
Coming in 7th with 115 were the Midnight Tokers. Tokers have the rb power couple Gio and Murray tearing it up. The reigning champ was quoted on draft day as saying " ha you morons just gave me the league again by letting me get these two". Guess he looks right but he was too scared to start Desean and his 25pts and instead went with harvin and his 7.
8th place this week was Gramatron with 107 pts. Gramatron led by neither graham or megatron but instead by Muddy Rivers and the colts d!  Guess he was too scared to start Floyd and his 18 and went with megas measley 11.
9th place this week was Supah P's ( a tribute to a long lost friend who was taken into the Pembroke swamps and never to be heard by TMX again. RI-supahP) he had 106 led by newly acquired Jennings (Trade Rape?) and Lynch who looks like an early MVP candidate. Guess he was too scared to sit Gates and his 1 point when he had Kelce and his 11!
Last Place this week was Black Dynamite with 98. Led by manning and bell . Looks like they got crabtree but were too scared to play him 19 pts but played Cobb and his 4!!

The overall standings after 3 weeks, and with Black Dynamite ( self proclaimed Wagon) winning first two weeks, are as follows.

1.Black Dynamite.................................................
2.Slippery Wizards............................................... 44 pts behind
3.The Jackals....................................................... 58 pts
4. DMC................................................................ 66 pts
5. Midnight Tokers.................................................69 pts
6. Romosexuals.................................................... 94 pts
7. Grahamatron.....................................................98 pts
8. Nutsaway..........................................................99 pts
9. Supah P's..........................................................116 pts
10. Beachbums......................................................125 pts

       Its  early in the season and obviously anyone's got a chance to win it.  The waiver wire is red hot and the trades are being offered. The bye weeks start this week which should mean even more movement on the wire and trade front. TMX is happy to be back and wishes that all the crazy injuries slow down, we lost quite a few guys in the first 3 weeks!! Good luck to all next week and DONT BE SCARED. Hey Jimmy Childs and Diggles. We back bitches.

Monday, September 22, 2014


It is the first day of Fall. You bitches know that I love the Fall season. I hate all the pumpkin everything but I love this season.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Apparently Kanes donuts in Saugus is where its at.
2. Calnan is sober, carb free and quite miserable.(Still hasn't had a weigh in for the weight challenge).
3. Chrissy gained 1.8 pounds in his work biggest loser challenge. Kids rocking 241.8.
4. The Kubie Krawl was yet again another success. Great turn out.
5. Ozzie is talking about a trip to Nashville to see the B's play in December, it may be on the big blue bus:

                                             (We take selfies get over it)

6. Hulk Hogan is not the only person who uses just for men on their beard.
7. Its funny to get messages once a week asking me when I am coming back to Facebook because they miss my daily posts.
8. Sorry ladies William J Smiddy is officially off the market, rumor has it he is actually moving in with his lady.
9. Fall means hot coffee for me, man this is taking some getting used too.
10. Everyone loves when someone tells you that you can not do something. Challenge accepted.
11. WWE is getting very generic lately. BORING!
12. Rumor has it TMX will be back this week. As of right now its just a rumor.
13. I do not really understand how people make crazy money on the fan duel.
14. Fucking Christmas is 3 months away. Get that shopping in fools.
15. Rio is officially moved into his house in Saugus. Party to follow, well after his furniture comes in.
16. Pulled pork burritos are fully under rated.

Work is kind of busy so I am gonna have to bail.
Have a nice week.

Monday, September 15, 2014

The bet

Soooooo Calnan has challenged me/bet me to see who can lose the most weight in a month. So we start tomorrow and go till October 17th. Total weight loss by percentage. The loser has to pose in a Halloween costume the winner picks out, The pictures will be posted on this blog for 6 months every week.

This is what i learned this week:
1. Chrissy is down to 240 from 248.8 in his biggest loser challenge at Coke.
2. Jeffrey has only been to the Cheesecake factory 3 times.
3. Are they terrible twos or terrors at three because my nephew is a menace.
4. There has been a Lauren Brady sighting, well on Instagram but still a sighting.
5. Rob hates #SelfieSundays.
6. The Ozone is just waiting on his cable and he will officially be a resident of Saugus.
7. Everyone has their own problems, remember that. You may not see them but believe me not everything is the fucking Cosby show.
8. Fantasy football is almost a 24/7 job now a days. I think next year I get in 1 league and thats all.
9. Speaking of fantasy - Pimpin aint Parise is back up and running. After a 2nd and 3rd place finish the last 2 years Ozone and I are taking our hockey talents to ESPN fantasy hockey.
10. Kristins cafe in Braintree is the shit. Best breakfast I have had in some time. It has like 40 different pancakes.
11. Sometimes when my mind wanders it goes all over the map.
12. I have no idea how people deal with having like 5 dogs. I can barely deal with 2.
13. Who the fuck eats orange marmalade?
14. Thanks Stop and Shop for a $32.24 full tank of gas.
15. Does anyone have any suggestions on stretching out your hips?
16. Never ever get unsalted pretzels. Thats just the devil's snack.
17. When are we planning on going to visit Mike Foley in North Carolina?
18. Has anyone seen Bill Smiddy? I asked him to hang out this past week and he no call no showed me.

Thats all I got for now.

Hope you all have a nice week.

I will see most if not all of you at The Kubie crawl this Saturday. Show up in Southie for a good cause.