Monday, September 24, 2018

Countdown is on

I know some people already have a countdown to Christmas but can we get through Halloween first, please?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Just when you think you have life figured out, it throws you a curve ball.
2. Shortest elimination pool ever.
3. Sundays are for relaxing.
4. Fall golf is where it's at.
5. Celtics media day today.
6. Three weeks in and I already hate fantasy football.
7. Talk radio is having a field day with this Patriots team.
8. Cancer is one mother fucker man.
9. Hong Kong Kung Fu Dave is in a dating drought.
10. Gender reveal parties for your 5th child is obnoxious.
11. If you haven't watched Jack Ryan on Amazon prime you are missing.
12. Winning Keno is always a good time.

Off to do some work and warm up.

Monday, September 17, 2018

When

At what point in your life do you feel like an  actual adult? When you buy a house? Have a child? Get your first work raise? Move on from one job to the next?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Random bar hopping, by yourself, is not a bad thing.
2. I have cut my grass more this year than all previous years combined.
3. Going out and grabbing Chinese food with friends should happen more often.
4. If you don't share memes with your friends, are you really friends?
5. Sharks 1 guy from Revere 0.
6. Do you prefer corned beef or smoked shoulder?
7. Boston Harbor Distillery is a really cool old building from the 1800's.
8. Summer is officially ending this Friday. But you would never know with all the pumpkin spice shit out there.
9. How long till the fountains in downtown Quincy are being used by people to take baths and freshen up?
10. My prayers go out to everyone effected by the gas explosions north of the city.
11. When you find out your friend is dating Danielle from AAF.
12. Work rumors are the worst rumors.
13. Chrissy is working on filling out his chest with some ink.
14. You can find Chris Leaden every Sunday night at BWW.




Monday, September 10, 2018

Just like that

All is right in the world. Football is back. The Fall weather is approaching. My fantasy football team is in shambles.

This is what I learned today:
1. Christian Daniel Macphail is "permanently" on days now.
2. Some times you just need a weekend to loaf around.
3. It's totally normal to have to get more expensive food for your dog. Because he shits up blood.
4. At what age do you start a midlife crisis.
5. Have you ever over heard 2 people talking, and you are not in their conversation, that you want to ask if they are fucking stupid?
6. I am hearing the Bruins band wagon is gonna fill up early this year.
7. Who is planning the ski/snow tubing trip this year?
8. How can you have the audicity to bitch that it's 96 one day then you are cold when it's 70.
9. Fuck pumpkin spice everything.
10. I'm sad that summer beers are ending.
11. Rio is looking for a bigger badder house on the north shore. Only requirement is a pool.
12. Has anyone heard from Hong Kong Dave? He must be chicked up.

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Guess who is back

Eminem drops a new album and Derek is back at work. Coincidence??

This is what I learned while away:
1. Add Eric Kjersgard to the list of people who bust my balls for both posting.
2. Is a kilt a dress?
3. You think you know someone but do you?
4. How many cats qualifies someone as a cat lady?
5. I was shocked to find out Jack's Abby has been around since 2011.
6. Steak and cheese should always be available in egg roll form.
7. Idle Hour in Quincy is more of a drinks place than food.
8. Who gets sick in September?
9. Everything is hibiscus flavor.
10. Peggy Oniels is now Blend.
11. Is there a word for slowly slipping into Insanity?
12. Rumor has it Christian Daniel Macphail may be looking for a new career.
13. It's sad to see summer go. It has been a wild ride mother nature.
14. Man insomnia is a mother fucker. It comes and goes like a big game of grown up peek-a-boo.
15. Do you give mouth hugs or receive them? Like if you were placing your dick in their mouth? Is that giving a mouth hug or taking?
16. A friend of mine says he shits blood and that's normal?
17. Barrel House Z is Weymouth is a good time. Great vibes.
18. College football is back!

Gotta rummage through my 617 emails!
See ya at Pearl Jam tonight.

Monday, August 20, 2018

Blogging in flight

I mean why not, right?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Chicago is expensive as all fuck.
2. Not really sure how Starbucks got my name as Greg? I mean it does not sound like Derek in the least.
3. Fantasy football draft is Saturday. Let's see how that goes.
4. Is there anything better than in flight Wi-Fi?
5. The HVAC pub would be my go to spot if I lived out in Wrigleyville.
6. Pearl Jam was amazing. Eddie Vedder sounds great.
7. The taxes in Illinois are insane.
8. I'm impressed with the amount of booze that can be consumed before noon.
9. Chrissy may be looking to make a career change now that Coke was bought out.
10. Turning everyone we meet on to Irish Breakfast shots.
11. You would think at the age of 40 I would have figured out how to sleep in hotels. Nope!
12. Everything hurts. My hair fucking hurts at this point.
13. Anyone up for a Bruins game in Nashville? November 3rd?
14. Deep Eddy vodka is pretty good. Not as good as Titos but still.
15. Dancing on the bar is not frowned upon in Chicago, just ask Jeffrey.
16. I couldn't find one White Sox fan in Chicago. Cubbies or nothing.
17. EDM is alive and well in Chicago.
18. Always make friends with bartenders. It pays off always.

Monday, August 13, 2018

Summah is ova

Tom Kelly says summah is ova!!

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. How is my left blinker light already out?
2. If I can wear jeans in August, believe me I will.
3. Chris Leaden's boss pulled back his vacation so if anyone is looking to watch his kids, hit him up.
4. Anyone have any recommendations for bars or restaurants in Chicago?
5. Who ever did this rain dance can stop now.
6. Speaking if rain, is there a more asshole thing to say than "we really need it." Oh really? We need 89 degree days with rain storms you fuck face?
7. Jason Foley's cousin moved to Quincy near me and I don't know if I should be excited or afraid.
8. Calnan needs some central air, if only I knew some guys.
9. I'll be lucky if my new lawn mower survives this whole year.
10. Most of Massachusetts does it's food shopping on Sundays.
11. No more training for Mario. Today is his first firefighter shift. Good luck Rio.
12. Jeffrey may be out for Pearl Jam. He had to spend all his cash on a new washer machine.
13. Panera delivery is all world.
14. Fuck you if you are rude to people in any service business. Yelling at the deli counter worker because you had to wait 7 minutes is wrong.

Probably won't be posting next week till Tuesday.

Monday, August 6, 2018

Gross

This fucking air quality sucks donkey ass.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. No more sunsets after 8pm. That's sad.
2. Overnight shift is not really for me.
3. These Redsox are straight fire right now.
4. Chrissy is out on vacation, again. Traveling all over this great country.
5. Sunburns are not forgiving man.
6. I am finding out made for Netflix movies are crap.
7. Glad to see Calnan is in mid season fantasy football form.
8. Everyone talking about this impending housing bubble burst but I ain't seeing shit
9. Chrissy is gonna be getting a lump sum payment for his retirement because his company got bought out. Anyone know any smart investors to invest his cash.
10. Fire fighter Long is killing the game.
11. Totally normal that Jeffrey's high school friend's wife is a stripper. And the kids bragging about it.
12. I don't like to call people stupid but man there are some dumb mother fuckers out there.
13. What kind of dress do you think Calnan shows up in for his fantasy football draft? Spaghetti strap is leading the votes.
14. Sorry to see the Quincy yellow bike program not work out.
15. What do you know about commercial real estate rentals?
16. Why is iced coffee never consistent?

Monday, July 30, 2018

Well that escalated quickly

It's August already. That happened fast. Seems like yesterday we were still in winter and there were floods.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Not drinking is harder than it looks.
2. The new Mission Impossible is awesome.
3. Eric "Chiefdude" Kjersgard is looking for a house closer to Boston with a pool. If you know of any hit him up.
4. I probably have a small t-shirt addiction.
5. Beach days are the best days.
6. If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?
7. I can not believe that the Pat's first preseason game is next Thursday.
8. Warm seltzers are not for me.
9. What positive word do you think epitomizes New England?
10. Naps are hit or miss. You can wake up and feel refreshed or wake up and think it's 2078.
11. Trying to get 12 guys together for fantasy football. Is like trying to wrestle a lubed up hippo.
12. I am really bad with putting sun screen on. Not bad in the sense like I'm forgetful more like I miss spots and have red blotches everywhere.
13. So proud of TK making it up to Portland for a few days.
14. Mario Long is killing it - Firefighter by day, control tech by night and landscaper in between.


Monday, July 23, 2018

Welcome to Florida

Apparently this week in New England it is going to feel like Florida - hot, humid and swampy.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Grillo has informed Calnan that he uninvited himself to next year's wedding. Bold move!
2. Random nights out with Leaden and Dave are always welcomed.
3. If you can always choose to drink outside.
4. Rumor has it Tooma would move back home if he had a job.
5. Chris Leaden is trying to get a group together to go to Trillium in Canton. Who is in?
6. Fuck most people.
7. Fantasy football is almost upon us, may be looking for a new board guy.
8. Congrats to Coach Ks kid winning a little League home run championship. Popping champagne like a boss.
9. It appears that the Food Netwerk doesn't actually have any cooking shows anymore.
10. Some days you just need to stay in and recharge your batteroer.
11. TK is going up to Portland, Maine this week for a little me time.
12. If you don't like naps then are you even human?

Monday, July 16, 2018

Moving and shaking

This is the fastest summer that I can remember. Feels like someone hit the fast forward button on this son of a bitch.

This is what I learned while being off for a week:
1. The wedding of 2019 is moving along. The house is closed on and now needs some paint and AC. If you know someone call Paddy.
2. If you live on the cape you are either a landscaper, artist or retired.
3. It's such a complex game you play trying to figure out how many beers you need for the beach and then after the beach. Drink too many at the beach you can't drive to get more for after.
4. Pretty sure I gained 15 lbs on vacation.
5. The beer Olympics were a great time. Rumor has it the Macphails are going to start their own next year.
6. Looking to golf this week hit Leaden up, he's on vacation.
7. How come it feels like wherever you put sun block on is where you burn first?
8. When I win the mega mills what do you guys want?
9. Speaking of winning Leaden has been crushing Keno.
10. Jeffrey is up at North Conway so I have Franklin till he gets back.
11. Congrats to Mario on becoming a Saugus firefighter.
12. Barrata where have you been my whole life?
13. Some days it's 2 steps forward 1 step back, others it's 2 stepa forward 5 steps back.
14. World cups over and now we get 4 years soccer free.
15. Everyone talking bout the Sox but when I watch on TV I see plenty of empty seats.
16. Ant man and the Wasp was more like a Wasp movie with Antman sprinkled in.

Monday, July 2, 2018

Celebrate

It's July 4th week and that is a celebration!!
Lots of cookouts and partying. May your beers be many and your hang overs few.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Do you do something "by accident" or "on accident"?
2. Another year and another sun burn in my belly button. What in the actual fuck.
3. All these mother fuckers bitching about how hot it is are the same cock knockers who bitched about the winter. Get a new hobby.
4. I had no idea that birds like to steal blueberries.
5. No surprise that both Rio and Chrissy are on vacation this week and the weather's gonna be 90 plus.
6. Good luck to the Macphails on the 5k tomorrow.
7. Nothing is more infuriating than getting your iced coffee all fucked up.
8. Why do I find myself buying things at Home Depot/Lowes that I don't really need.
9. If you are a male who works in the food service industry please cut your finger nails.
10. How come I can't find MGD anywhere?
11. Obviously, I have a problem throwing away older pairs of sneakers. Found 6 pairs and threw them away this weekend.
12. Hey Dunkin donuts don't think I didn't notice that the coffee rolls are now basically the same size as a donut and twice as much.

Don't forget cookout tomorrow at 3:30. I have plenty of food. Just bring whatever you want to drink.





Sunday, June 24, 2018

Wahhh wahhh wahhhh

All week long I had to listen to people bitch that I didn't post a blog this week. I never ever post when I am on vacation. Not about to start 10 years later.  So instead I will post a day early.

This is what I learned on my 2 week break:
1. Big golf tournament on July 7th if anyone is interested let Mario lnpe.
2. Hungover Jeffrey is a good for 9 holes in golf.
3. The new Jurassic Park movie is meh.
4. The bouncy house with the water slide is all set for the July 3rd party.
5. Drinking by yourself at a bar is underated. I mean I don't know who rated it in the first place but they are wrong.
6. Chrissy is alive and competing in a beer Olympics, July 14th. Come down to Pembroke to support him.
7. Calnans wedding of 2019 is already making cuts to the list. Sorry TK!
8. Speaking of TK, if you had under 2 weeks in the over/under - you win!
9. The Inn at Bay Point is expensive but very nice views.
10. The Nashville hots chicken sandwich from True North isn't as good as Hattie B's but it's fucking still good.
11. Another year and still coolers with wheels suck ass.
12. It is not even July and I have had 3 sunburns.
13. Rumor has it the Chiefdude is off of Facebook.
14. Also rumored is him and his lady are looking to downsize and move closer to Boston, perhaps on TKs street in Bridgewater.
15. What brand of hot dogs do you like? Kayem, Ball Park, Oscar meyer or Pearl? Or something entirely different?
16. The Chipman family pig roast is this Saturday if you are in Marshfield. Very family oriented.
17. Pretty sad, that no one just randomly goes into Fenway on game day and cops tickets any more.
18. Why the fuck did I have to wear a sweatshirt during June?
19. It's pretty impressive how much Lowes and Home Depot are so much alike yet so different.
20. Julie Nickerson is still single ready to mingle but now has a place to bring her one night stands, with her purchase of a condo in Whitman.
21. I love how people don't give a shit about soccer but once the world cup starts...out they mind!
22. Chrissy sends me count down days till Pearl Jam in Chicago, it's like an adult Christmas for him.

Monday, June 11, 2018

June June June

So this is 2018 huh? Up is down, cats living with dogs, 50 degrees in the morning 90 at noon, rain for an hour and Tom Kelly 8 days sober. I mean what in the fuck.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Not drinking on a Saturday night is refreshing.
2. Jeep life means wearing sun screen at all times.
3. Ryan is planning a trip to Atlantic City. Who is in?
4. How come no one is ever up for random road trips to NH?
5. Hooters has $5 drink specials and $3 shots specials on Thursdays.
6. Hong Kong Kung Fu Dave has been off the grid ever since his lady moved closer to him.
7. Does anyone know where you can buy some basement storage/shelving?
8. Big beach party on Saturday and Sunday for Father's day down in Hull. Grab your speedos and get ready.
9. Officer Calnan should be closing on his house soon. Heard a rumour Grillos gonna DJ the house warming party.
10. Some days you ever feel like nothing is going your way?
11. I am legit saddened by Anthony Bourdain committing suicide. He was like your drunk fun uncle.
12. Is anyone actually excited for this new Jurassic Park movie?

Aight I am off.

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Today is the day

The Tom Kelly weight loss challenge officially begins today, June 5th.
He is going 6 long weeks without any booze. No beer, no liquor and no wine. Some people are betting on this (see Paddy for the offs), not me, I am going to be 100% supportive.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Mikey Doyle was more upset that there was no Dot Day bowl off than he was that Chrissy missed his first dot day in 15 years.
2. Anyone want to go to Austin City limits?
3. Soccer mom's and old people hate the Jeep wave.
4. The Pour Yard is where it's at for some fun drinks and warm sunshine.
5. Tom Kelly made a rare appearance at a bar other than Barretts.
6. They really need to make ladies jeans front pockets bigger, amiright?
7. Who hates Elvis? I mean come on.
8. Grillo got caught up in Medford day so he didn't make Dot day either.
9. Glad to see Chuckie T rocking a convertible Benz.
10. Make sure you follow Orett on Twitter and Instagram @theroofdeckking so you can get the hook up at bars and clubs in Boston.
11. Is there anything worse than getting your coffee made wrong?
12. Anyone else sick of the Cavs vs Golden State?
13. Everyone needs hobbies.
14. Anyone up for a fishing charter? Looking to put it together this summer? HMU!!

Off to do some work and go through these 189 emails I hot since Friday.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

June baby

Let us stop fucking around with all this wacky ass weatger. Give me 70s at least.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Solo was better than I thought it was gonna be but still not good.
2. Chrissy has loaded up on fireworks for July 4th.
3. Dot day is Sunday. Who is in?
4. Has anyone heard from Mark Welch?
5. Totally normal to want to drive your motorcycle in the rain, right Dave?
6. Speaking of Dave heard he is a regular Piccaso.
7. I heard the MDC had a blast skipping the Cape this year and killing NH.
8. Chris Leaden is in summer function mode at The Charlie Horse.
9. Mark it down TK is going sober on June 5th. That's what he has to do for awaken 180.
10. Pissed at myself for not getting side steps for the Jeep.
11. Right now my new record is 12 beers before I piss.
12. The ocean is razor blades.
13. Glad to hear that some people  still do the old fashion yayo.
14. Bud light orange is my new beach jam. I still got love for you seltzers.
15. Where do you stand on steak fries?
16. It's one thing to miss a spot when putting on sun screen it's a totally nother to miss it two days in a row.
17. Can't get my lawn mower blade off, does that mean I have to throw my mower out?
18. I refuse to put my lawn furniture out until it's 70 for 3 days straight.

Sunday, May 20, 2018

We are a day early

Since I am at work today I figured why not just bang out a quick blog post.

This is what I learned this past week:
1. Mother fuckers are geared up with this legalization of gambling on sports. New Jersey should be taking bets next Monday.
2. Huge shout out to Padraig, travels all the way to Napa Valley to propose. Things are moving fast - house, engagement and now the bachelor party planning.
3. Couldn't find a good used car so I put that money down on a new Jeep. Guess I'm team #jeep now.
4. How come I haven't heard of any Memorial day parties?
5. Anyone ever change a lawn mower blade before?
6. Why do jeans fit better after wearing them for a few days?
7. Someone tell my brother Ryan it's frowned upon pulling your dick out in a bar.
8. I have no idea why but I am a fan of the food and drinks at Burton's.
9. Deadpool 2 is a god damn fucking riot.
10. Vodka lemonades are pretty dangerous.
11. I could go the rest of my life without ever having Chinese food agsin.
12. Congrats to TK on being a grand daddy. Nothing says grandpa like free baby sitting.
13. Pray for Mario's dog, Bruschi, who is all fucked up from vertigo and an ear infection.
14. Joey Martell and his lady are looking for a house. They are sick of condo living.
15. Dot day is only 2 weeks away, wonder what random shows up this year?
16. Hope everyone downloaded the mass state lottery keno ap. You can watch keno live on your fucking phone.
17. Fuck quinoa.
18. Keep chick peas and hummus far away from me too.

Have a great week. It is supposed to be in the mid to high 70s all week.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Pray for me

And my liver. This is going to be another rocky one with 2 Sox game this week and the C's crushing it in the playoffs. My wallet is already puking.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The weekend is never long enough.
2. People are all geared up for this royal wedding.
3. Joey Martell is working on some behind the scenes tour of Wrigley Field for us in August.
4. Tiger Woods is back baby!!
5. Scary Terry says there is no room on the Cs band wagon and I agree.
6. I live for drunk before noon snaps from Chrissy.
7. Nothing more uncomfortable than a pair of underwear that don't quite fit right.
8. I have already found 5 ticks on my dog. Be careful out there.
9. I can't remember what one of Bunker's kids is Kyle and what one is Alex so I just vall them both Kylex.
10. I don't know what's more difficult - finding a pair of sneakers that I like or a good used car.
11. Anyone interested in going to the Sox game Monday, May 28th?
12. Has anyone used a Home Equity line of credit vs a Home Equity loan? Benefits?
13. When you just want to rip your eye out with a spoon because it won't stop twitching.
14. We all have that one friend who asks for advice and when you give it to them they do whatever they fuck they want.
15. When is Calnan having a house warming party?
16. It appears as though everyone and their mother is going to the Pats Titans game in Nashville.
17. A woman told me I look just like my dog. Is that a compliment? Is it because we both have white, black and gray hair? Do I look like a dog?
18. I am excited for Deadpool 2 not so much for Solo.
19. Deleting my Facebook page was one of the only good things for me so far in 2018.
20. Pretty sure Chrissy got some girl from Massachusetts, who currently resides in New Orleans, killed.

Ok let me know who is going out for the Sox and Celts on Saturday night. Especially after watching the royal wedding.

Monday, May 7, 2018

It's officially...

Baseball season. We are still rocking out with the Celtics playoff run but we are playing with house money at this point. Players growing and getting playoff experience while Brad Stevens is being labeled a guru.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Nashville is fucking expensive.
2. Martin BBQ joint > Jack's
Biscuit Love > Milk and Hobey
Hattie B's > all other fried chicken ever.
3. The Derby was a great time just wished the weather was better.
4. Pedal tours hurt your ass.
5. Johnny Cash museum was small but awesome.
6. If you are a famous country singer more than likely you have a bar on Broadway.
7. Other than the track, the Louisville area seemed pretty blah.
8. Think I probably put on 10-15 pounds from just drinking and eating for the past 5 days.
9. The ride from Nashville to Louisville is bizzare. Lots of time traveling. Half way through Kentucky all of a sudden you are back on Eastern standard Time.
10. Everyone is super nice.
11. No one is actually from Nashville - they all migrate from somewhere else in the country.
12. I can see why boatloads of ladies go for bachelorette weekends.
13. Hope you watched my snaps of Derby day!
14. Pretty sure I need a week to dry out.
15. Holy shit Hawaii.
16. That pipe breaking on the Carnival Cruise ship is a thing of nightmares for me.

Off to do some errands.


Monday, April 30, 2018

Sunday Funday are back

I don't know if it's because the weather is starting to change for the good or what but Sunday Funday is back!

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The Avengers is my favorite Marvel movie yet.
2. Being at a bar making friends is my kind of fun.
3. Cinco De Mayo is Saturday, what's your plan?
4. Surprised that me and tequila are fast becoming friends.
5. I am already in vacation mode.
6. Dick pics are like the new first base.
7. Guys don't trust a girl if she's afraid to rub your junk with her hands.
8. May 17th, I know people with plenty of Sox tickets if you are interested.
9. Derby outfits are all ready to go.
10. Tom Kelly is starting Awaken 180, let's wish him the best.
11. I do not flush public restroom toilets or touch the door handles. Just don't.
12. Three mandates in one week with Chris Leaden, people may start talking.
13. Sam Hunt or Luke Bryan? Who are you banging? Obviously, you aren't kicking either one out of bed.
14. Have you seen the new $30 scratch tickets? 122 1 million dollar prizes.
15. Concert season is coming. Day drinking is happening. Maybe 2018 is starting to come around.
16. Not every day two people walk away from the casino big time winners.

Alrighty, Nashville and the Derby this week so I doubt I will be posting next Monday but stranger things have happened.


Monday, April 23, 2018

Hmmm

Is April in like a lion and out like a lamb? Because this April has come in like a wrecking ball just smashing everyone's Spring dreams.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. It's a prett weird feeling to not be planning a pub crawl right now.
2. Pretty sure Jeffrey has no off buttin, when the sun goes down.
3. Who knew finding a hat would be harder than finding outfits for the Derby?
4. I am not a fan of all you can eat brunch buffets.
5. Guess Kung Fu Dave is too busy to start a podcast.
6. Nora has 5 tickets to May 17th Redsox game if anyone wants em.
7. If someone says hey I have playoff tickets do you want them, you have to say yes without hesitation, right?
8. This new super flu is super fun!
9. Anyone know a good place to find some nice yet inexpensive luggage?
10. Not only is Tooma alive but he's got a new phone and is on Snapchat.
11. Summer beers are out, winter beers are gone so we are making steps in the right direction.
12. Wishing Coach K a speedy recovery from gall bladder removal.