Oh man

I know many of you are out there planning the perfect Valentines day for your ladies so I will keep it brief this week.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The Cheifdude thinks I do not blog nearly enough.
2. Oreo's turn 100 this year. I know many of you love Oreo's. Mario says he can eat 3 bags in one sitting.
3. It is easier for a Harvard grad to become a US president(7) than it is to become an NBA player(3).
4. Fire and Ice was good but the lines were long and the place wasn't very busy. It was like they brought in their closers to slow everyone down.
5. To human taste buds, Zima is virtually indistinguishable from Zebra urine. THANK GOD they stopped making that.
6. Jeffrey Steven Lundrigan and Randy Moss both share today as a birthday. Coincidence? I think not.
7. Dorchester is the birth place of the first public elementary school in America, The Mather school - established in 1639 and still running.
8. The honey badger can withstand hundred of bee stings that would otherwise kill another animal.
9. Speaking earlier of Randy Moss, he announced that he is UN RETIRING.
10. People still in shock of Folan.com breaking the Whitney Houston death. Deal with it.
11. Chrissy feeds his daughter blueberry's so that his wife has to change blue diarrhea.
12. Rio is now CPR certified. I just think he likes to give mouth to mouth.
13. Gas is on a rapid increase of price. Last week it jumped from $3.39 to $3.55 to $3.69 in 3 days.
14. I guess Aiden's fiance was scared of Mike and I, probably more Mike than me, at the bar on Saturday night.
15. Taxes are done. Lets pray for the best.
16. This weeks dart match is in Weymouth, if anyone wants to stop by for some brews.

Thats all I have for right now.

Theres always next year

The Patriots lose on the last possession yet again. On a brighter side at least Chrissy hit the coin toss again.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. TK's son, Pete, is engaged and TK couldn't be happier. ONE VAGINA FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
2. Really a reality show based on "an insider's look at the faith, hard work, and family that make this(SOUTHIE) blue-collar enclave Beantown's beating heart" WHAT!!
3. Another year and yet another year of not winning a square.
4. The party up at the View just ain't the same. Pre game cards, bean bag toss, and reserved tables. Man things changed.
5. Chrissy saves up all his cans and then has a huge kegger with his returns money(he will let you know when his bash is):

6. No, this isn't from this past Sunday:

7. The Valentines day pub crawl is this Saturday. Who is getting their Swole on?

8. I actually went 2 days without showering, Friday and Saturday...longest in a long time.

9. Darts starts back up tonight - same squad; new location.

10. People get so jealous when someone wins a square. I mean Rio hit 2 and I thought people were gonna bum rush him.

11. I am debating doing my taxes myself this year.

12. Finding time to get a haircut has become a pain in my balls.

13. Its always good to have EMT friends around for when you are under the weather. Fall down go boom!

14. There is nothing funnier than when your friend gets spoken to by the Alcohol commission at a sporting event.

15. Joe Q likes his Gin and tonics and then to chew on some ice.

16. I guess there was real surprise that William J Smiddy blew off the Superbowl party.

17. Is there anything more shitty  than having a vivid dream and waking up to total disappointment.

18. $500 is the going rate for bringing Ronin to the vet - for a routine check up?

19. Supah P is looking for a house in the Quincy area; if anyone knows of any please pass the word along.

20. Yes Chrissy I know yesterday was not an official ho ho holiday but it is in Whitleyville.

21. Joe Martell is supposed to be getting his Hummer back today.

22. Mikey T still has several Sox games available for this upcoming season. In packs of 2 or 4 seats.

Here is the dart schedule for the year:

Vegas Baby!

Las Vegas - Metro police officer John Norman turned himself in at the Clark County Detention Center Wednesday afternoon to face charges that he tried to talk women into exposing their breasts to him. Norman’s arrest report outlines the first incident from last summer in which he allegedly followed a woman to her home, admitted he didn’t have any reason to stop her, but wanted her to know she lived in a high crime area, then handcuffed her and instructed her how to shake her breasts out of her bra to show she wasn’t hiding anything. Then in late December accused of asking a woman during a traffic stop to take off her bra, and placing his hands on her breasts claiming to search for drugs. Norman  is on administrative leave.

HMMM I wonder why people don't like the police? I haven't got the foggiest. While reading this I inserted Officer Christian MacPhail, just to give it that Massachusetts feel. I could 100% see Chrissy doing this around Halloween.

Hmmm

With the Super Bowl less than a week away I am starting to get that Christmassy feeling. Obviously the good Lord is a Boston sports fan - this Sunday the Celtics are on  at 12 noon, the Bruins are on at 12:30 and then the Patriots play at 6:30. That's an early day for boozing. I couldn't imagine being an east coast transplant on the west coast watching games at 9am and drinking bloody Marys.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The average person eats 8.5 pounds of pickles a year.
2. People are not buying squares like they used to.
3. Rio is very particular about who works out near him.
4. The dart team is getting back together but no longer out of Peggy O'niels but rather out of South Side Tavern.
5. Speaking of Peggy's, Chrissys favorite bartender Leslie was fired for a no call no show. Sad day!
6. The first canned beer went on sale on January 23rd, 1935.
7. Anyone looking for a Saturday baby sitting gig? 8 am till 8 pm watching the Chiefdudes 2 children. Good cash paid!
8.  I am losing Twitter followers like a sonofabitch!
9. Katie wants to try and foster this dog until it can get a permanent home http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/22056402
10. I would love for the NBA to adopt the draft style All star game.
11. Waking up with a stiff neck sucks. I mean, am I 34 or 66?
12. Who the fuck likes Drake?
13.  Apparently my word with friends addiction is bad. I have people talking about how many games I play at a time and how come I don't play word back in a reasonable manner. UHM hello I am rocking 20 games!
14. Fucking Redsox.com kicked me off twice Saturday after I waited in line for over 3 hours.

Hope to see you all up at the View for the Annual Super Bowl party:

The View Restaurant and Tavern


at Presidents Golf Course

357 West Squantum Street, Quincy MA 02171

617.770.2500

Beeristas?

CLEVELAND - Tall, venti and grande may no longer refer to just coffee at Starbucks. The coffee giant now plans to sell beer and wine at select locations.


Starbucks will start selling it by the end of this year in a number of cafes in Atlanta and Southern California.


The company said it is exploring an expansion beyond morning coffee and afternoon pick-me-ups.


"As our customers transition from work to home, many are looking for a warm and inviting place to unwind," Starbucks' senior vice president Clarice Turner said.


Starbucks said it has already been doing a test run at some of its coffeehouses for over a year now. The company does not expect to sell alcohol in all of its nearly 11,000 U.S. cafes.

I guess they are trying to bring a  coffee house vibe to having a few beers. I guess this could work if people went to have a few beers and had no one to go with. I mean how many people just chill at Starbucks alone and drink coffees? Tons, so I can see where the same fools who stop for coffee in the am would then stop for a few beers on the way home to their bitching wives and screaming kids. Then when you walk in the door 30 minutes later than normal; "I stopped off at Starbucks" sounds a whole lot better than "I met Vinny at the Sand Trap for a few".  Good Luck Starbucks. Let me know when you start having mixed drinks because vodka mixed with the Passion tea and Passion team lemonade would be 100% my new favorite drink.

Match is set

Yesterday was quite a day to be a Boston fan - The Celtics, Bruins and Patriots all won. Everyone wanted  the Giants/Patriots super bowl rematch, well now you have it. How many times are we going to have to see the David Tyree helmet catch over the next 2 weeks? A Bajillion??

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. Getting the right colored couch can make your wife the happiest person in the world.
2. The Super Bowl party at the View may be in jeopardy due to Direct TV and channel 7s dispute.
3. Faneuil Hall is the 4th most popular tourist destination in the US with 19 million visitor per year - 1. Times Square 2. Vegas Strip 3. National Mall.
4. Who has a Pre Cana on Super Bowl Sunday?
5. What are the rules for baby showers. I thought the shower was for a 1st baby born not a 3rd...
6. Has anyone else watch Alcatraz? I am going to give it a try. I hope it is better than TerraNova.
7. The word "whiskey" derives from the Gaelic for meaning "water of life". Seems about right.
8. How does a Roxies not have a prime rib roast? I should of just went to Lamberts.
9. I am pretty pissed that Scramble with Friends is only on the iphone and ipad. I like word games. Hey Zynga SUCK IT!
10. They treat the streets of Quincy with sea water prior to a big snow storm, to try and prevent ice build up.
11. Is the Mirage trying to get me to go to Vegas for the Superbowl? I mean 3 free nights? Jet Blue has air fare from $289. I mean it sounds like a perfect storm.
12. Jeffrey just discovered blip it. He is straight killing it on there.
13. I am not a fan of Panera Breads lunch/dinner. The mac and cheese was pretty good though.
14. I heard rumblings of a Shaun Larry wedding heating up fast and furiously. I don't know if thats a rumor or not but that's what I heard.
15. I don't know if I am more addicted to Super Stickman golf or Zombie Dash. I love free games.

16.

It snowed yeah!!

I had planned to update this blog yesterday with things I learned. But while I was sitting on my ass at work, playing word with friends and checking my twitter I just didn't get around to it. I didn't know that Chrissy was going to be so mad about it, so thats why I am also posting this later than the normal 9 o'clock post time. Just  to razz him a tab bit more.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. In the average lifetime a person will breath in about 44 pounds of dust.
2. Chrissy's daughter may or may not of walked in on her parents partaking in some freaky deaky in her young age.
3. How can anyone pass up double time and a half on a holiday?
4. Lake Nicaragua in Nicaragua is the only fresh water lake in the world that has sharks. You know I love me some sharks.
5. I am going through fits trying to figure out how to get rid of dry scalp.
6. Apparently, Jeffrey is above store bought meatballs.
7. I am classifying the 2nd Annual Yankee Re-gift swap a success.
8. If I were on that cruise ship that is capsizing. I WOULD BE FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT!
9. The Celtics just do not have it.
10. Mitchells cousin is a world renown executive pastry chef on the Cape. She works for 3 restaurants.
11. People are pumped for the yearly Superbowl Party up at the View. Hope everyone can make it.
12. Ronin does not like to be sat on, by adults. He doesn't care if a child stomps or pulls on him.
13. Does it mean I am officially old when I hear Michael Jackson's Thriller on Oldies 103?
14. Jeffrey is ducking playing Ervin on the golf simulator.
15. Supah P's beard is a thing of wonder. I think there may  be a family of swallows living in it.
16. I don't think I have ever had a bad meal at Boston Beer works, never had a great meal either.
17. Sometimes life lessons are taught at the age of 18 months.
18. Who watched the Jenny Jones show? I never did. I watched Ricki Lake, Gerlado Rivera and even Sally but never Jenny Jones.
19. Supah and Welchie are in the process of getting the Dart team back together. Any name suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
20. Katie has joined twitter @puppylovaK8ee.
21. I guess the Red Wings while partying with Kid Rock dont party with the yayo!

TMX ADSL YEAR END...

The fantasy football season has ended and Tmx is here to report all about it!! Tmx is a fantasy reporting media committed to 20% TRUTH!! The final week of the season saw the SSSC Complex shutdown with renovations and updates. The winner of the week was the Beach Bums who held off the team Hoodsie. Beach Bums put on an impressive 3 week run with 189, 130 and 171, showing the league that the old standard of 100pts no longer equals a good week, in a valiant effort for a 3 peat. The Jerkshots finished in last for the week and took a tumble down the stretch. Tmx cant offer any advice to help him for next week but will attempt to review each team. The first week without fantasy brings a relief for some and others were praying for one more week to make a move or to win the weekly winner prize. This season only two teams failed to win a week. Jerkshots who started off strong and Hoodsie who finished with an impressive push and by most accounts had his weekly win in the last week til Bradshaw decided to do nothing in the second half of the late game!! Tough luck there. Now Tmx will do what its done all season and HELP the teams of the league. All Iggles Team you're pretty much the most hated team in the league and Tmx refuses to offer you anything but HAMMY DANCES.

First team up is The White Devils last place dress wearers. It was nearly a record breaking season for the Devils as they almost broke the league record for least points!! Injuries are a part of fantasy football and Devils season started off by losing their number one pick Jamall Charles and never fully recovered. Their leading scorer was Mike Wallace who didnt even break the 200 pt mark for the season . Mason Crosby a kicker finished higher than his 2nd rb. Tmx did extensive research and the thing that stands out the most is the budget conscious approach the Devils chose to employ. They finished with the lowest transaction spent despite being in the best possible waiver spot a majority of the year. Its almost as if they decided to save their money for a dress. The devils were able to win week 7 but never could get a consistent rhythm going. The obvious advice going into next year is for the Devils to save up and be willing to spend and pick up the right pieces to replace the injured and non producing players or they could just go to the draft and live off others waiver money that lands in the pot? Choice is yours Tmx dont judge just helps!!

The ninth place and beer bitch this year is Dillons Villenz. Villenz fancies himself as the smartest GM in ADSL or just refuses to accept the help TMX has offered him. He was able to win 2 weeks during the season as TMX advised him to make trades and hit the wire but late in the season he seemed to just sit and get ready to get beers at the draft. His last week quote when told his MVP Mccoy was out was, "yeah I'm not worried and dont need Ben Tate" congrats Villenz that move cost you beer bitch by one point. Mccoy was Villenz leading scorer dropping an impressive 325 and was followed by Eli Manning who he picked up in a great trade. Janikowski was able to outscore the wr production for the Villenz which he struggled with all year. The last week of the season Villenz got some insider info(obvi not from TMX) that the RAMS would rest their starters and decided to sit top wr Brandon Lloyd which would have moved him into 8th. TMX obvious advice for Villenz is LISTEN TO TMX they are after all here to help. Tmx was who told you to hit the wire and pick up players that got you out of last as well as told you to make trades that got you your second leading scorer simply put TMX is here to help! Take the help its free and Tmx knows you love free! Final TMX advice for Villenz that we hope he uses is bring a box to carry the beers and make sure you write down the order cuz Leslie may be on one and if Mungo is there she will be distracted.

The 8th place finisher is L8nite Menu. A frustrating season for L8nite who had the number one pick and vowed Mike Vick would win him a week and one week is all he could win. One of the more active guys on the wire and trade market L8nite was constantly moving and shifting players trying to climb to the top. He was locked in a battle with his arch-rival Villenz for the beer bitch spot which he eventually won by ONE POINT!! Despite a relatively disappointing season Mike Vick was L8nite's leading scorer, the number one pick only gave him 196pts. L8nites activity on the wire is evident in the fact that late season pick up Mike Bush finished 53pts behind top pick Vick! The other top performer for L8nite was Ravens D which was his 2nd leading scorer!! Tmx research indicates that L8nites problem may have been crumbling to the pressure of the number one pick and spending the rest of the season trying to recover. Tmx likes the go for broke style but in this case it didnt bring him the title. The obvious advice in this case is go for broke on the wire and trade market as that seems to work but play it safer on draft day especially at the number one spot. Tmx knows that the beers at this draft will be satisfying as Villenz will be serving them up no doubt early and often.

The 7th place team this year was Jerk Shots. The Jerk Shots were a lighting rod from the draft day 20 minute 2nd round pick right up to the invention of the hammy dance. They were in the mix right til the end when ironically the healthiest team in ADSL history lost their top backs. The Jerk Shots are one of only 3 teams in the league with 2 players getting over 300pt yet still he couldnt pull out a weekly win. The frustrating Philip "muddy" Rivers led the team with 315 followed by the 20 minute 2nd round pick Wes Welker with 307. Tmx in the preseason picks that never got published due to contract issues with Drunknothings.com had picked the Jerk Shots to finish in the money based on their lineup its only weakness being the defensive which it addressed by using 5 D's throughout the season. Tmx did break news on several trades that Jerkshots refused to accept one of which was for top tight end Tony Gonzalez so the obvious advice for the Jerkshots is to look to make a move rather than be so loyal to some players. The only team in the league trying to fleece any other team is All Iggles. The secret partner of the Jerk Shots or whoever is running the team will have to learn that the league doesnt end at the draft and titles are won during the season.

The 6th place team this year was The Madd Fucking Niggerish Towelman. Tmfntm fought his way from the middle of the pack to the money and then starting qb and leading Tmfntm scorer Tony Romo went down in the last week and Tmfntm fell out of the money!! Four players coming in over 200pts usually equals money but not this year. Many in the league say it was from never starting Tim Tebow benching the holy one but Tmx doesnt believe in such a conspiracy! Tmfntm won week 10 and seemed to get in a groove even had Eddie Pinnette screaming at the SSSC complex as his team racked up points to inch to the top. Tmfntm hit on some big plays at the draft like Jimmy Graham, Julio Jones David "fucking" Akers and the revived Steve Smith and was able to survive CJ and Chris Wells off years but at the end it was too much to take a 0 from Tony Romo in the 2nd to last week of the season as team leaped past him. Tmx advice for Tmfntm is for next season not to cross Tim Tebow(not full believers but just in case Tmx doesnt want to get shut down) its the only explanation how a season can turn so quick or I guess dont draft Holy Romo as he breaks hearts. Tmfntm stayed in it till the final week and THAT is what fantasy is about well that and Tmx reporting, anyway we move on.

The 5th place team this year was team Hoodsie. Team Hoodsie started off the season losing Peyton Manning then had injury issues with Andre Johnson, Moreno, Fjax, Hightower etc but somehow was able to make a push toward the top!! Hoodsie was the other team that couldnt put in a weekly win despite to 2nd place finishes in the last 2 weeks as Matt Stafford caught fire. Hoodsie is the type of team that showed the league what using the wire and trades can do, never sitting still he racked up some waiver costs but he was still just 20pts out of the money. Tmx believes this is what fantasy is all about. Overcame a draft that didnt go his way, overcame injuries, and just plugged his way into a title oops sorry the reality part of fantasy is he got a respectable 5th place spot. Back up Qb Matt Stafford led Hoodsie with a whopping 458pts and Hoodsie got 5 others to get over 100pts. Tmx cant offer much advice to a team that did all it could and finished in 5th spot except maybe to try and get his team to come out of the gate faster or make the league last longer as he finished one of the hottest teams!!

The 4th place team and Tmx preseason pick to win it all is team No Legs. No Legs finished 13pts out of the money and easily would have had that if he didnt sit Jordy Nelson the last week. A glaring error no doubt but not much can be said as he was able to rule the wire with the pick ups of the year Jordy Nelson and Victor Cruz both got over 140pts and Cruz a later addition was his 3rd leading scorer behind Aaron Rodgers who despite sitting out the last week ended up with 515pts 2nd most in the league!! No Legs had issues with rb with only Turner pitching in but he was still able to add and plug in players to make it work. The season was just as all No Legs or Skza or Street Pharmacist or Bring Back Mungo seasons are- they were in the mix and would be there at the end. This year one error was all it took to keep No Legs from the money though he did pull off two weekly wins. Tmx advice is simple we play til week 17 so you gotta play your players till the end. Jordy Nelson breakout year wasnt over in week 16!!!! Nothing to be ashamed of overcame rb issues and played til the end.

The 3rd place team is Sflabo Home for Rehabilitated Wizards. Led by leading rb Ray Rice 355pts and two more players over 200 Sflabo pulled the trigger on a deal when starting qb Matt Schaub went down and was able to jump into the top with 2 weekly wins and despite losing Matt Forte. Pick ups Marion Barber, Laurent Robinson and J. Stewart helped him late in the season. Sflabo was active on the wire and offered up his tight ends all season long but in the end was able hold off the most contested spot up top which came down to the final game. Tmx was impressed with the draft and trading from strength that Sflabo was able to do the only advice would be to not have an All Iggles mvp on your team and swing a deal so your not stuck. A solid season.

The 2nd place team is Beach Bums. The Beach Bums were led by league MVP and leading scorer Drew Brees who led the league with 537pts as the fourth qb taken. Not much can be said about the Beach Bums who won the last two leagues and was on his way to a 3rd with some successful trades and great pickups. The blue print is set that if you want to win this thing you need to have a headquarters like Beach Bums and stay on top of everything from draft day til week 17. Tmx is pretty sure he's scouting players right now. Beach Bums had an answer for his injuries and played the right players as he has done the past 3 years. Beach Bums won 2 of the last 3 weeks and finished with 4 weekly wins. He may have finished 2nd and had his three peat stopped but he did finish first in transaction once again. Tmx advice for next season is to keep your head on a swivel you're the one people want to knock off.

The winner of this years league was the Slippery Wizards. The Slippery Wizards join 06 Team Rookie(rob); 07 Afro Samurai ( mike and los); 08 Dead beat dad (deegs) 09-10 Beach Bums (rob) as winners of Adsl. Slippery Wizards had to put up the most points in league history and win 4 weeks to get the win and was led by 3 players with over 300pts including new superstar Rob Gronkowski. The Slippery WIzards led the league from wire to wire and despite using a league high SEVEN defenses(I guess defense doesnt win championships) he was able to pull off the beer bitch to championship run. Tmx advice to Slippery Wizards first is to stop complaining as the Wizards complaining also went wire to wire and hope that they are able to find another hot draft pick to overcome losing their number one rusher!!

Well the season is done and we can go back to not worrying about who to play and who to pick up for another year. Thanks as always to the commishner for doing the job none of us want to do but we all cant survive unless he does it. Till next year. TMX..................

Uhm

Hello Mr. Winter are you going to show up this year? Just curious is all. I can deal with the 10 days of 40 plus weather in January if you are taking an extended vacation.

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. Some girls are easy, they talk about it, they get mad when called out about it. Don't air your dirty laundry then or keep ya legs closed.
2.  If you put a tooth in a glass of Coca Cola overnight, the sugar in the drink will make the tooth completely dissolve.
3. I guess Mark Wahlberg is getting all his tattoos removed. Why thats news worthy, I don't know.
4. Joe Martell did me a solid and cleaned my furnace sensor so that the wife could be nice and warm.
5. Saturday day Bruins games are something. The beers never seem to stop flowing.
6. I am pretty exited that Jack Bauer will be back at least for a movie.
7. (Chrissy will love this) The male porcupine begins the mating process with a high-pressure stream of urine that coats the female from head to toe.
8. I was looking forward to this upcoming season of Shamless but now after last nights episode I don't think I can get into it again.
9. I don't know why the NHL doesn't do 24/7 for more than just the 2 teams in the NHL or at least make it longer than 4 weeks. Maybe from training camp until the Winter Classic.
10. Who would pay to have Mrs. Seguin on the back of a Bruins jersey?
11. Blackstones is a great place for steak tips and getting away from the hectic hussle and bustle of Fanuel hall.
12. Never count Tebow out.
13. Congrats to Chrissys sister, Rachel on her wedding. Matt has made her an honest lady.
14. Joey Martell wants to start blogging soon. He promises to use the spell check.


Thats all I got in me today. As always I am sure I forgot a whole hell lot more than I remembered.

Lets start the Year off right

I hope that everyone had a nice safe New Years Eve. I am not really one to make any resolutions so I am not about to start now. Just so you know, I did not win any cash in $10 million lottery raffle.

Lets see what I learned from last week of last year to the first week of this year:
1. Apparently Margaritas does not have authentic Mexicans making authentic Mexican food.
2. Chrissy thinks Shaun Larry has the gay because he ran away from a cougar faster than you can say "Booyah".
3. Who knew the Cathay Center is where all the karaoke songs are fairly recent. Who the fuck sings Adele?
4. Home made steak and cheese is way better.
5. Pretty bummed out that fantasy football is over.
6. Seems like no matter what time I go to bed, 9:30, 10:30, or 2:00 I never feel totally rested.
7. The make chocolate animal crackers.
8. I know I have probably said this before but why does everyone continue to name their child, Aiden? I mean there are going to be classrooms full of children named Aiden.
9. Ronin is a tad bit bigger than some dogs:

10. There is not a day that goes by that I don't get asked How Smiddy is doing. If you see Williams J. Smiddy let him know people think he moved. They can't believe he severed all ties with his "friends".

11. CVG loves Dannys FB and Twitter posts.

12. Yes this is Jack Edwards dog, Stanley Pup with the Stanley Cup:

13. If you eat lots of iron in your diet it gives you healthy finger nails.

14. Wendys over took BK as the #2 fast food burger joint. How come everyone you talk to never has Mcdonalds as their #1 place? Kinda weird right?

15. I can't quite figure out why comcast allows you to change your TV through your computer. I mean that's what the remote is for.

16. I'm sick of all the yahoo articles of people raising 16 kids on 35,000 a year. Its bullshit. Straight bullshit!

I wish you all a healthy and fun 2012.

TMX week 16

Week 16 is in the books and TMX is here to report about it.

Tmx is a fantasy reporting agent, no longer affiliated with folan.com, which reports up to the minute fantasy football news. Tmx is COMMITTED to 32% TRUTH in all reports. There is one week left in the ADSL fantasy league and we have nothing decided!! The race for the top is going to come down to who plays more Brady or Brees and the race for 3rd place has four teams fighting for the money. Tmfntm is holding off No Legs by 6; SflaboHfrw by 17 and Hoodsie by 45. The beer bitch race has L8nite menu leading his bitter rival Dillonz Villenz by 29!! The races may come down to the last NFL game of the year!! The 8:30 game featuring Tmfntm Holy Romo and Villenz Eli Manning could be what decides both races. Tons of questions as to who's playing who and who has players that need to win. Tmx mailbag was full of questions from Tebowmania asking when is Tmfntm gonna roll out Tim Tebow is this the week? Another popular mailbag topic was the ever popular "hammy dance".

 Hammy dance originator Team Jerkshots lost his star rb Adrian Peterson and alot of Tmx watchers wanted his reaction. Tmx made several calls to Jerkshots owners including the Notorious J.E.B and Wes Cash they are continuing their boycott of Tmx and rumors are rampant that they are looking into legal action to get Tmx shutdown. Tmx response to that: Jackie Childs aint walking through that door and if he did well he's just an actor on Seinfeld so it wouldnt matter. Now onto this weeks winner coming on strong Team No Legs with 151.5. No Legs has been in the money or close to it every year so its no suprise. He like everyone else jumped up this week as Tmfntm took a huge hit with a ZERO from Holy Romo. We made numerous attempts to call No Legs but have no active phone for the owner so we sadly we were unable to get his reaction to the big victory!!
We did however talk to former owner of Team Mung who informed us he has been giving advice left and right and said "Slippery Wizards should have clinched the league by now with all the advice I've given him, told fool not to play Redskins d and go with RAIDERS, I want back in" Duly noted Team Mung Tmx is on your side.

Now onto what Tmx is here for TO HELP!!
This weeks last place team was Dillons Villenz the totals are as follows:
Manning 13
Mathews 7.5
Mccoy 4.5
Gaffney 16
Green 5
Gresham 13.5
Janikowski 10
Giants D 19 for a decent total of 88.5. Look its the last week of fantasy and Tmx has counseled the Villenz several times its basically put up or shut up time. He's got a good group of players who have to win including his Qb and he has a wr going against the pourous Pats d. Mccoy needs to be watched and Mathews as well but Tmx cant put the players in it only tells you to monitor who's against who that being said Villenz has a shot to make his way out of the beer bitch position but it wont be easy Tmx has inside sources that L8nite menu has taken the week off and was up all night screaming at Matty Ice he is fully invested in taking down his arch rival.

Tmx made a call to Villenz team MVP Lesean Mccoy. Hey buddy its your old friends at Tmx how you feeling? "Tmx whats going down? Man I sprained my ankle I was gonna take out Wilbert Montgomery's rushing record next week now I'm not sure if I'm going to play" Wait are you giving Tmx and exclusive scoop that you are sitting? " haha Tmx you crazy. Andy Reid will decide if I take out the record or not but you know I want to, I thought Randall Cunningham had the record I dont even know this old goat is so if they let me break it I will stay tuned" Well Villenz you heard your Mvp. STAY TUNED. Biggest decision of your season to follow hope you get to the wire and grab some insurance.

Now onto the All Iggles:

QB-M.Vick 24pts (L8nitemenu)
RB- D.Williams 20pts ( Tmfntm)
RB- S.Jax(Devils) & K.Smith( Villenz) 18pts
WR- R.Wayne 25pts (No Legs)
WR- M. Floyd 18pts (Devils)
TE- J. Cook 31pts (L8nite Menu)
D- Lions 19pt (Villenz)
K- DAVID "FUCKING" AKERS- FG SEASON RECORD

The All Iggles were held to a modest 155 pts this week but L8nite Menu and Villenz put some good numbers up for Iggles. Important week for those two cant afford to have any points left for the Iggles. L8nite refused to give Cook the start despite two good weeks and now has to decide if he Witten is finally going to come through. Tmx is guess he will in the biggest game of his season. Here's hoping next week is the week we keep the Iggles under 120!! The pickup of the weeks saw Gaffney and Orton put up decent numbers but goes this week to Sflabohfrw pickup and start of J. Stewart. Gutsy call for the owner of Cam Newton to get his rb but it came through with a td and double digit fantasy points. Congrat Sflabo and Stewie gonna need some more magic this week. The Tmx player of the week was hotly contested with Brady,Welker, Julio Jones bailing out Tmfntm, the usual Beach Bum duo of Breesy( congrats on the record) and Foster, Hoodsies team Mvp Stafford and suprising pickup Spiller, also Victor Cruz but the Tmx player of the week is Jordy Nelson. The guy keeps making plays. Congrats No Legs on picking him up to replace Amendolia or whoever that guy was only thing he did all season was buy a round of shots at the draft.
Well this is the week we play for sadly the league wont be meeting up as the commish is working but we have plans to meet up during the playoffs. Best of luck to everyone in the most important week of the season also to the teams that havent won a week lets hope this is the week and to everyone who hasnt paid. PAY UP BITCHES. Tmx out.

Happy New years

Man, there are only 4 days left in this year. Then we can close out the year of MJT. I hope, as always, that the next year is better than the last.

Lets see what I learned this past weekend:
1. People need to stop busting my balls if I don't post things I've learned on Monday. Sometimes there is a holiday and I am not turning my computer on.
2. Almost 50% of all the money in circulation are $1 dollar bills.
3. Andy Reid has never had a shut out in 207 games.
4. Iggles puts up Christmas lights. I thought that dude was an atheist?
5. The Skza gets a Movado watch and scratched it in 15 minutes.
6. Abe Lincoln bought 50 cents worth of cocaine in 1860.
7. People are gearing up for the Yankee Re-gift swap on January 14th.
8. Should I be as excited as I am about buying $4.00 books for my kindle?
9. People still call other people dipshits? Rio does.
10. Why has no one bought me bacon of the month?
11. Mike is celebrating my birthday  today, he likes to move it around and celebrate different days.
12. Rio is secretly in love with IKEA. Guess what budso the secret is out.
13. How come Julie Nickerson comes home from LA LA land but she doesn't call anyone to hang out or meet up for beers?
14. Just because you win the Superbowl in fantasy football doesn't mean you are getting paid until all the cash is in.
15. How can you wait 6-8 weeks for new furniture just to have the wrong color come in? Then the store act like they are doing you a favor by not charging for delivery for the correct furniture that I have to wait another 6-8 weeks for?
16. Do people still go out for New Years? I mean besides heading to Trinity of course.

Well until next year...have a nice and safe week/weekend!

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone has a Very Merry Christmas.

Reckoning

PS3 Games - E3 2012 - Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

Week 15

Week 15 is in the books and Tmx is here to report it LIVE from a jam packed SSSC Complex.
Tmx is a fantasy reporting agency COMMITTED to 35% truth in all reports.

This week at the Complex we had owners from Team Hoodsie, mouse clicking Villenz Dillonz, former owner Team Mung and the usual crew including head security Ronan sniffing down Julien. Ro never takes a day off!! Eddie Pinnette had another Derek Hernandez day party to attend and was probably running a Stanford route. Food was great, laughs were a plenty and the Slippery Wizards spent most of the day curled up in a fetal position as his team is running out of gas and 2 time defending champs beach bum is putting up monster numbers. Beach Bums had the win this week with the highest total of the season 189. He made every right move and got big games from all his players. The lead is down to a measly 100pts as he made up 50 this week and with the Slippery Wizards matchup problems the Bums have to be the favorite. The second hottest race is for beer bitch as L8nite menu is up 24 on his hated rival Villenz. We contacted Beach Bums owners at a secluded compound where he makes all his championship moves. Hey Beach Bums this is some set up like a war room. "wait howd you get in here you have to leave this is how I dominate this league, leave NOW" Whoa whoa easy pal, just checking in, hey is that at HE HATE ME shirt your wearing from the old Xfl days?

"yeah it is my good friend Hoodsie got it for me, said the league had my team up on the computer all day and hates me I guess? I find it funny but you have to get out of here and NOW" Ok, Ok, we are leaving good luck on the rest of the year and nice war room you're really on top of this. Wow like a fantasy football batcave with monitors and projections everywhere, guess thats how you get in position for a 3 peat!!

Now onto what Tmx is here for TO HELP. This weeks last place finisher was Jerkshots, the dismal totals are as follows:
Dalton 5pts
Helu 7.5pts
AP 6pts
B.Marshall 14.5pts
Welker 6pts
Wislow 7pts
Bailey 7pts
Bengals D 11 pts for a total of 64pts.

Team Jerkshots was a few points out of 3rd place back in week 9 and poised to make a run now the only thing they can make a run for is a weekly win and in a FIRST since Tmx has been breaking news the Jerkshots had EVERY PLAYER on his bench outscore his starters. I know its late in the season and alot of teams are thinking and overthinking who to play but sitting studs at this point is never a good move. A tweak here or there and maybe risk a play but the entire bench outscoring the starters is painful on all levels. Tmx is hoping a weekly win is in the cards but the right players have to be out there for it to happen. Tmx made a call to Darrius Heyward-Bey to see how he feels being on the bench. Hey Bey-bey-bey its Tmx whats good? "oh for reals? Tm-motherbleeping x!!! I heard bout y'all am I player of the week? If I am I'm gonna do shots out of Dmc boot, dude's still out but Bey-bey bey is balling!!" No you didnt get player of the week you were on the bench " what? fool dont wanna win? Me and Palmer are the new Montana to Rice ya heard!!Bey OUT" Well apparently DHB thinks he's got potential to win Jerkshots a week but Tmx is just hoping he makes the right plays or prays to Tebow for help. Lets go Jerkshots win a week.

Now onto this weeks All Iggles Team.



QB- Tebow 27pts ( Tmfntm)
RB- Sjax/F.Jones 18.5 ( White devils)
Rb- Lil Darren Sproles 18.5 ( Slippery Wizards)
WR- Burleson/Floyd 17.5 ( Jerkshots/ Devils)
WR Heyward-Bay 29 (Jerkshots)
TE Celek 28.5 ( Jerkshots)
D-Seahawks 32 (Tmfntm)
K- Tony Franklin

Well the All Iggles have done it again coming in at 171 but the Beach Bums even beat the all star team so thats the good news the bad news is Jerkshots gave the Iggles almost 80pts!! 80pts he could have used! I guess holding the Iggles under 100 isnt going to happen this season so this week we will shoot for 120? Lets make the right plays and ruin Iggles Christmas ( he doesnt celebrate it but you get the idea). This week we didnt have many pickups Wizards grabbed Cards D for little gain and his kicker wears Prater also for little gain and Devils made a move on Grant who didnt have a big game but L8nite Menu went for it and grabbed Kahil Bell the bears backup running back who had an awesome game out of nowhere. Congrats Mr. Bell and L8nite Menu on the Pick up of the Week; This weeks Tmx player of the week had alot of big names and big numbers, Megatron exploded with Stafford, CJ Spiller stepped it up, Mccoy saved the day for VIllenz, Jerkshots entire bench went off and Beach Bums every starter as well. The Tmx player of the week goes to Drew Brees who put up a 50 burger and is making a case for league MVP for the Beach Bums. Congrats Brees and Bums on your award. Tmx will not be live at the SSSC Complex due to the holidays, Tmx wishes each team a healthy and happy holiday and maybe Jerkshots or Hoodsie will finally get a weekly win for Christmas. Cheers. TMX out..

The Hobbit

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Im giddy

I don't know why I am so giddy. Maybe it's people praying to Tebow during SSC or the fact that its Christmas week or my 34th birthday is next Wednesday or that I am heading to the Bruins vs the Habs game tonight but damn it, as Diddy Says, Can't no Body Hold me down!

This is what I learned:
1. What happens at SSC does not stay at SSC; Jeffrey "Dime Bag" Lundrigan is on the prowl.
2. Shaun Larry turned 28 today. Buy him a Pearl Harbor next time you see him.
3. The fat content of chocolate does not raise the level of cholesterol in the human blood stream.
4. A guy wrote a book about him banging a dolphin, No it is not Chrissy. Its called Wet Goddess. Yes I just puked in my mouth a little bit.
5. Rubbing vodka on a jellyfish sting makes the pain stop! What a waste.
6. Sovereign Bank still uses envelopes for ATM deposits.
7. Rio has a 55 inch flat screen and has yet to hook it up.
8. Spring time cleaning in December is highly under rated.
9. Pornography is derived from the Greek word meaning "the writings of prostitutes".
10. Hamburger meat from a single steer will make about 720 quarter pound hamburger patties. Man that makes me hungry.
11. Jeffrey is looking for a blocker for xmas. I already finished my shopping.
12. Stephen Kings " Bag of Bones" on A & E was not all that interesting.
13. The first real cold spell at work sucks.
14. Big Bob got his ring:

Hope everyone has a nice safe drunk Christmas.

I love Star Wars Shit.

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TMX week 14

And down the stretch they come!! Week 14 is in the books and Tmx is here to report all about it!!

Tmx is a fantasy reporting media COMMITTED to 54% TRUTH in all its reports. Reporting LIVE from the SSSC complex where we learned Eddie Pinnette and Ronin security is alive and well. The Green Bay offense starts in the red zone and white shirt and pasta causes problems. There are 3 weeks left in the season and its time to go all out! Our esteemed commissioner doesnt believe in playoffs so we are playing out the season unlike most leagues. I'm sure the Slippery Wizards wished the season ended last week as his end to end first place lead is coming under fire!

Are his Patriot duo of Brady-Gronk going to choke like the undefeated team? Can he hold off the Beach Bums, Sflabo, No Legs and Tmfntm who are getting hot at the right time. Will the stars play out the last three weeks? We already saw Aaron Rodgers head to the bench for the entire fourth quarter. There were a number of injuries especially hitting L8nite Menu as his rb and wr went out this week at the worst possible time and the red hot Villenz are now just 25 points away from getting out of beer bitch!! The devils are 150 points behind to get out of the dress and have scored under 70 3 of the last four weeks so unless Big Ben and Mendy get hot they are in deep trouble. The SSSC complex crew is in agreement that reaching 100pts no longer does it in the league you got to get over the 100pt barrier to make any headway! This weeks winner for example was Sflabohfrw with 177! A dominant week where 6 player put up over 20pts!! He is peaking at the right time and has Ray Rice with the easiest rb schedule over the next 3 weeks!! Tmx called Sflabo and his only comment was " You tell Slippery Wizards its now how you come to the party, its how you leave it." Guess Sflabo thinks the Wizards maybe a little to comfy at the bar, we shall see. Tmx attempted to contact members of Sflabo's team but the GM has a team wide gag order with no one talking to Tmx?

Its hurts to hear of such a gag order but now onto what Tmx is here for- TO HELP.

This weeks last place team in need of help is L8nite menu the totals are as follows:

Vick 12

M.Bush 15.5

Murray 2.5 (one broken ankle)

Crabtree 9.5

Jennings 3 ( one torn mcl)

Witten 2.5

Gostkowski 10

Ravens D 14

for a meager total of 69 points.

Tmx has put off Christmas shopping and dedicated itself to helping teams win weeks.Tmx is disappointed that in reaching out to L8niteMenu on Thursday and asking if he was starting Brown he was met with " nah Crabtree, steelers are gonna run all over the Browns" well 28.5 points later it looks like Brown was the right play. Tmx understands the need to start your stars but with Mike Vick coming off an injury first game back and wr's hurt all over it seemed like Matty Ice was the safer play and the 41pts proved it was probably the better play. The bench for L8niteMenu scored 90pts! This time of year 90pts is way too much to leave on the bench and now after being in 3rd place in week 6 L8nite is in a dogfight to stay out of beer bitch with his bitter rival the Villenz. Tmx contacted L8nite GM and his was more quiet than usual just saying "I'm fucked but no way am I letting Villenz take over 8th place, not going to happen even if it means I start doing hammy dances in that kids grill"!

Whoa, whoa Tmx does not and has not ever approved of hammy dances Tmx understands your upset over losing 2 starters to injury but lets try and settle this with healthy players. "Tmx I respect what you do but now its go time, I'm out and I'm calling Mike Vick RIGHT EFFING NOW" Wow one fired up GM. Tmx decided to also call a L8niteMenu QB but not Mike Vick, we called Matt Ryan. Hey Matty Ice its Tmx what's up? " Hey Tmx love your work you guys never call me whats up?" Well you put up 41pts on the bench this week kinda wondering how you feel about that. "golly, I dunno I'm just out here slinging it to Julio Jones, Roddy and one of the greatest tight end in history how can I not put up numbers" Yeah guess that sums it up. Thanks for your time Matty. Well, L8nite its time to hit the wire and then make the right moves here on out because the fight is on. Now onto this weeks All

Iggles team:

QB- Matt Ryan (L8niteMenu) 41pts
RB- B. Jacobs (Hoodsie) 27pts
RB- D. Williams( Tmfntm) 14.5pts
WR-A. Brown ( L8niteMenu) 28.5pts
WR J. Jones (Tmfntm) 28.5pts
TE O. Daniels ( No Legs) 18.5pts
D Eagles D (Beach Bums) 30pts
K Mason Crosby ( Devils ) 16pts- even Tony Franklin takes a backseat to a 16pt kicker performance

The Iggles exploded this week with Mason Crosby putting them over 200 with a whopping 204. This keeps up Iggles may want back in the league! The season is winding down but the Iggles continue to get huge numbers off the benches! Its time to tighten it up as the races are as close as they have ever been. The waiver wire has some gems and this past week we saw a few teams grab defenses ( Devils you listening) that made an impact as well as Crabtree having an ok game but the pickup of the week goes to the Villenz who grabbed the Detroit D for a whopping 30pts!! Good job Villenz.

The Tmx player of the week was hotly contested affair Gronk's 36, the whole Sflabo team getting 20 plus, Romo finally stepping up, Fitzy somehow coming thru with Rex Skeleton at qb, Sjax pulling of 19.5 to keep the Devils out of last was an option but the winner with a 4 td 40 burger performance was MJD. Pocket Hercules coming through huge for Tmfntm and helping him push to the top! There are 3 weeks left and anything can happen just look at this week with Sflabo making up 50pts. The top and bottom are up for grabs so lets stay healthy and play the right plays this week!! TMX out

Tis the season

I've had requests for my Tequila Christmas Cake recipe so here goes.


1 cup sugar

1 tsp. baking powder

1 cup water

1 tsp. salt

1 cup brown sugar

Lemon juice

4 large eggs

Nuts

1 bottle tequila

2 cups dried fruit



Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl; check the tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck iin the cup of dried fruit. Pick the fruit up off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon ice strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 s and try not to fall over. Get up, check tequila. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.



Cherry Mristmas!