Monday, September 28, 2020

APB

 Either Hong Kong Dave is missing or he has everyone on mute. Kids been MIA for the weekend. Maybe he is all tied up or on some sexcapade up in NH. The world may never know.


This is what I learned this weekend:

1. It was quite a weekend for weddings.

2. One of the worst things about this pandemic is the lack of new television or movies. 

3. Make sure you check with Martell, as to what you should bring to the cookout on October 11th.

4. The housing market is so fucking hot right now and I can't fully understand how, with so many people unemployed.

5. It seems like every day is some superficial made up special day - daughter day, won day, quesadilla day, blue shirt day.

6. Just when I think the seltzer game is maxed out Natty light and Bud light platinum step up and say not so fast.

7. Cambridge tripling down and fining people $300 for not wearing masks in public is typical cambridge. 

8. I wonder what Thanksgiving will.look like this year? Are people going to call the cops on their neighbors for having a family get together?

9. Pork as a whole could be the most underrated of meats.

10. Kids hockey is something man. Some kids are really fucking good and others look like they are skating in mud.

11. I told myself I would give fantasy football 4 weeks but I'm fading fast.

12. I love me some drunk mother nature. Last week Fall was here this week we are back to early summer.

13. Shitty ending for the Celtics and Bruins. The Red sox couldn't even lose correctly. At least we have Killah Cam to watch every week.

14. Love me some apple pie but I'll de damned if I am out there picking apples to make one. 

15. Finally got my tree cut down. Only took 14 calls to 10 different companies.

16. Now if I could get a roofer to get back to me for my garage roof...

17. So far Covid tests, I am 5-5 on negative results.

18. I am pretty sure I have never had good duck.

19. Nothing worse than fucking up trimming ya beard and then you gotta chase it and it's all of a sudden very short. Fucking covid no beard trim rules.

20. I heard dentists are slashing prices because people haven't been going due to covid. Go out and get ya fronts fixed.

Monday, September 21, 2020

Phew

Well after x-rays and blood work. Nothing was found for Ronin. They think he may just be in pain from arthritis.


This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Sometimes you just need a sick day for mental health.

2. People like chowder.

3. I'd have 8 beers is my new favorite quote when it comes to drinking.

4. Martells next bbq and brisket smoke off is October 11th.

5. Hobby lobby is a crazy place.

6. Some people have Christmas in July other have Thanksgiving in September. 

7. Rumor has it starting October 1st Leadens looking for a house.

8. I love me a fucking Patty Melt!!

9. Having a tree cut down should not be that difficult. No 

10. The House Rules seltzer is fire. Smells like bubbalicious gum.

11. Is Covid 19 still happening or nah?

12. Hope the Celtics can get to the championship.

13. I love Chrissy on Edibles. He super smiley.

14. How do you hurt yourself sleeping? 

Monday, September 14, 2020

Prayers up

Say a little pray for Ronin. He has to go to the vet today for some tests. Prays up for the old man.


This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Some people do not want to work at all.

2. It feels good and normal that the NFL is back.

3. Fucking Martell hitting the 50/50 raffle at a Hull youth baseball event is such a Joey thing.

4. Are all the beach days gone?

5. Would you prefer a filet, a sirloin or a ribeye?

6. Fall rolled in like a mother fucking pimp!

7. How bout them Boston Celtics?

8. Does anyone know a fucking tree guy? I can't get one to call me back to save my life.

9. If you had to bring something to a potluck, what would it be?

10. Do people still play quarters?

11. You ever feel like you work to buy a car to get to work?

12. Tom Brady and most quarterbacks in the league did not look all that good this past Sunday.



Monday, September 7, 2020

Same

 It's like you blinked and now the summer is over, last week was april and they are talking cancelling Halloween. Bring on 2021.

This is what I learned while away.

1. Martell had me binge watch 8 seasons of Letterkenny in 4 days.

2. Speaking of binge watching how am I just learning about Kingdom?

3. Fucking football starts Thursday night and I am not sure I am ready for it.

4.  I'm still shocked that covid knows if you are eating food at a restaurant or not.

5. Tater tots at the Hoffy are fire.

6. Everyone deals with stress differently.

7. You know you are getting older when you wake up with some new random pain.

8. There are so many Seltzers out there now. The Nude ones are ok.

9. Anyone ever do some wall paper removal?

10. Sad the Bruins got bounced out.

11. Joey Martell has a new hot tub if ya guys are looking to make human stew.

12. Power washers really fuck up the wood some times.

13. Rob Knudsen you are the real MVP.

14. Do not do tequila shots on an empty stomach.




Monday, August 24, 2020

Just like that

 Summer was just about over. Only 2 weeks left.


This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Not sure I would name my son after myself, if my first name was Mallory...just saying.

2. Leaden thinks all toilets should have a bidet option on them.

3. Mark Welch is alive, styling and profiling with pimp beach shoes.

4. Sometimes random drinking is the best drinking.

5. I heard a rumor that Jason Foley has long ass hair.

6. So now only surgical masks work?

7. Weekly Covid tests at work are now required and oh so fun.

8. Housing sales are up 48% from June to July. That's crazy. Urban flight is real.

9. Ha ha the Redsox are the first team to 20 losses what a fucking joke. Hope you guys are geared up for $20 beers.

10. All about that empanada life.

11. Heard the new Boardwalk pizza in marina bay is fucking fire.

12. Fat babies are the best babies.


Monday, August 17, 2020

Ouch

Does anything suck worse than burning the roof of your mouth or your actual tongue when eating food?


This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Sometimes you just need a day to catch up on some sleep.

2. I am amazed how hot the real estate market is.

3. Fantasy football draft happens soon. Who wants to see Dave in a dress?

4. People really celebrate half birthdays?

5. It's bike week up in NH. Are you going up to Laconia?

6. Mario has his eyes on buying a boat. Looking for a center console 20 footer.

7. Mike G is selling a fresh water boat if you know anyone looking for one.

8. How many more places will close due to this Covid 19?

9. Speaking of covid 19, starting today we have to be tested once a week for it.

10. I heard teachers in Weymouth pushed for remote learning so the school system said ok but you have to come in and do it from your classroom and now they are flipping out.

11. What a Fall like weekend we just had.

12. When it was just Claws and Trulys it was hard to find them out at bars but now that Bud Light makes a seltzer you can get em anywhere.

13. These covid restaurant rules make it very difficult to catch a buzz let alone get drunk.

14. Rumor has it Jason Foley has some long ass hair. 


Monday, August 10, 2020

Shake and bake

 Summer is flying by. It felt like March-June took 3 years to get through. Now that the weather is nicer the days are flying by.


This is what I learned this weekend:

1. There is never not a line at Home Depot. 

2. I am limiting myself to 1 beach day a weekend. I keep putting off my chores.

3. I ain't got time for no Townie bullshit.

4. I can never figure out what days off Chrissy has off.

5. I don't mind working an 8 hour overnight shift.

6. What you fools know about an air fryer?

7. What food can you eat everyday? And why is it pizza?

8. Oh your friend Joey Martell has tested positive for the corona antibodies. Now he has bronchitis...ain't no body got time for that.

9. Thing that always piques my interest, when someone says how far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?

10. Is college football going to be cancelled or just rescheduled for the spring?

11. I have gone from a young Santa to Moses looking mother fucker - Covid hair don't care.

12. The interest rate is so low that the housing market is fire.


Monday, August 3, 2020

August

I know the calendar says August but it feels like March 689742nd.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Julie Nickerson is alive.
2. Mario may be dumping his Bruins tickets.
3. Cape Cod does not do the Jeep wave.
4. Chrissy tore up The Vineyard this weekend.
5. I don't remember it being this hot for this long.
6. Would you rather live in the mountains by a lake or walking distance to the beach?
7. Joey Martell has been MIA maybe he got a job?
8. Boats? Yes it no?
9. When did people named Christopher decide that Topher was accepted as a nickname? Like who said fuck Chris we want Topher?
10. Anyone ever replace a garage door before? Is it difficult?
11. Oh by the way $60 for Korean BBQ fried chicken is well worth it.
12. My barber has been asking about me since I haven't been getting my haircut every 3 weeks as I normally have.

Monday, July 27, 2020

You got it

Sorry got tied up with some work today.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Fear city - New York vs the Mafia was pretty good. Check it out on Netflix
2. What kind of liquor store sells out of 30 packs? Guess two 18 packs will do.
3. Tacoma FD is back on.
4. Didn't take long for baseball to blow up with the Covids.
5. Angelo's is closed and now there is a new coal fired pizza joint Liberty Tavern there.
6. Albas still brings the heat.
7. Does anyone think that the NFL will actually play this year?
8. Pretty sure the Peacock channel is going to fail.
9. Shark week is still a thing? I mean Mike Tyson vs Jaws has me intrigued.
10. Oh yeah by the way UFOs are real. No big deal the government just casually dropping that.
11. Working the overnight shift fucks you up for a day or 2.
12. Empanadas are underrated. We need more empanada places.
13. Jeffrey has given up on the seltzers.
14. Matty Kraemer is thinking about renting a house in Hull for the month of August. I say let er rip tater chip.




Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Yeah yeah yeah

So I have been away...sue me!

This is what I learned while away on vacation:
1. People suck.
2. The pro masks people are nutso to the extreme.
3. No one wears a mask on Cape Cod.
4. I would do a pig roast every week if I could.
5. Is football going to happen? I need to know for fantasy purposes.
6. We haven't really talked about Cam Newton to the Pats.
7. Martell is still out there enjoying his unemployment.
8. Seems like everyone is buying a boat.
9. The Beastie Boy channel on XM is not that good. I haven't been this disappointed since Shade 45.
10. Jeffrey's new puppy, he who has yet to get a name, is all about nipping.
11. With the heat and humidity this week I almost broke down and shaved my head.
12. What happens when the regular flu season starts up in September/October? Is everyone going to be a hypochondriac?
13. I had no idea that Chrissy was going deaf. That was a shocker.
14. The narrative on 401ks and 403bs have changed and now they are saying the economy isn't nearly the same as the 80s when they were created.
15. So movies and concerts are a thing of the past?
16. Bud light lemonade...more lemon than beer flavor.
17. Let's talk about the new Ford Bronco. I need one like yesterday.
18. So Mookie is gonna sign a 10 year 350 million dollar contract. Covid 19 cost him like 100 mil.
19. What sport are you most excited to return - baseball, hockey or basketball?
20. Trader Joes is removing - Trader Jose's, Arabian Joe,Trader Joe San and Trader Ming's. In their attempt to be humorous and inclusive they have offended people.
21. Ice cream when drunk will never not be glorious.
22. Fucking Popeyes opening up next to a Wendy's is next level fatness.

Monday, June 29, 2020

Can we?

Can we wish America a happy birthday this year or has that been cancelled?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Fucking thunderstorms are no joke.
2. The new Will Farrell movie is trash.
3. Wait now the CDC is saying that it is more than likely 10 times more people have had covid 19 than the 2.5 million that they have reported? I'm so confused.
4. Sometimes you run out of hair product. It happens.
5. The UFC just hits better on the TV outside.
6. Nothing better than the feeling of counting down till vacation.
7. I hope Chrissy wins his suspension appeal.
8. After a month my RovR cooler finally showed. So far I'm in love.
9. Leaden's buddy hitting the Mass Cash 6 times is what we all need right now.
10. The covers channel on XM channel 302 is straight fire.
11. The best thing about being in your 40s is getting out of bed and hurting for no apparent reason.
12. Happy almost Phase 3 day but now we wait a week,maybe, perhaps ahh who knows anymore.


Monday, June 22, 2020

Hot

It's good to see mother nature is still drunk.
I mean 80 plus degrees going on 6 straight days with no end in sight... fire.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The beach water warmed up nicely.
2. Laying sod is no fucking joke. My hamstrings are still killing me.
3. Good to see Leaden out on the beach.
4. I would like to say I'm surprised that phone companies are now tracking you due to Covid 19. But I'm not - contact tracing and all.
5. Wait this election is going to have no debates.
6. Outdoor televisions are where it's at.
7. Joe Martell is looking for some help putting in some AC in his house.
8. When did phase 2 become at least 4 weeks long?
9. Man this situation in Seattle with CHOP is crazy to me.
10. Looks like I won't be going to Plunkett this year. Unless he's still going on then I'll be there.
11. Cops at the beach for people drinking is wild to me. Like who is calling for that?
12. What the fuck is going on with UPS? I have been waiting for a package since May 29th.
13. Chrissy has enough fire works to make up for Boston cancelling thier July 4th display.
14. Do Yeti coolers have a life time guarantee? Asking for Karen and Joe.


Monday, June 15, 2020

Summer

Hey boys and girls it looks like summer is going to be stopping by this Wednesday and staying for at least the weekend.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The jalapeno bites from Burger King are fire.
2. I am hearing conflicting reports of outdoor dining being either over crowded and getting kicked out or the total opposite and everyone gets to stay for hours.
3. Chinese food hits just right when that's what you want.
4. When do you have to quarantine? When I leave the state and come back? If I'm visiting? I'm so confused. Any help?
5. I know we are in covid 19 and protest season but can we stop all the fire works? I'm not sure we need those going off at 3 am.
6. If a real life Transformer showed up tomorrow would anyone even bat an eye?
7. If you were sitting there thinking have Chrissy's balls shrunk? The answer is no. If anything they are larger.
8. Who wants to go halfsies on a boat?
9. So mask fatigue is a thing now.
10. Do you guys have nosy neighbors? Me either.
11. Anyone hear from Mark Welch? Kids been MIA since golf courses opened back up.
12. Are movie theaters a thing of the past now?



Monday, June 8, 2020

Billy Currington

I am pretty sure he said it best - " ...beer is good and people are crazy. "

 A couple of cold beers can bring people together. Let's start handing out beers and making new friends, swapping stories and life events, getting some perspective and input in to what makes us tick as humans.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The longer my hair gets the more people have to say something about it.
2. Fucking Martell never having root beer shots or a grilled cheese in his life is absurd.
3. Blow me is a perfectly good retort when someone says something you don't want to continue having a conversation with.
4. That fucking rain on Saturday was insane.
5. I am not sure what beaches Governor Baker has been too since this shit started but no one is wearing masks on the beach.
6. I do not understand how people love the Eagles so much.  Take your hotel California and shove it up your ass.
7. You didn't hear this from me but Joey is having another pig roast on July 11th.  Get your sides ready.
8. Now that we are onto Phase 2.1 what are you looking most forward too? Where y'all gonna be eating at?
9. Fucking NH not giving a fucking shit and just basically going from 0 - dry humping in terms of opening up is the NH we all need. Live free or die!
10. Jeffrey's fence is finally in and done.
11. I recently read that Italy believes this Covid-19 has mutated to a weaker strain.
12. What week are we on in this self isolation/quarantine? 13 or 14? Time seems to be flying by.
13. Not really sure if I am going for the Tim Allen in the Santa Clause look or Kurt Russell in the Christmas Chronicles. Either way a younger Santa is my current look.
14. I have a feeling that 30 and 36 packs just aren't enough now, Budweiser is gonna start rolling out a 50 pack.

Monday, June 1, 2020

June

It's fucking June but may as well be December without Christmas. This year just won't quit and Everytime I think we have hit rock bottom there is a new low. Two steps forward and 37 back at this point.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. That Chick fil-a breakfast is legit.
2. I was shocked to learn that Yeti is not made in America.
3. Chrissy bought himself a golf cart.
4. People out there just never having eaten steak tips before is an insane thought to me.
5. Mario is back after the birth of his baby girl and I couldn't be happier.
6. The CARES Act is a bunch of things, not just stimulus but also what you can do with your retirement cash.
7. Maybe Chrissy hit a scratchie because he also bought himself am Arctic Cooler.
8. The UFC fights have been lack luster at best lately.
9. It is surprising how normal a little sun on the beach can make you feel.
10.  The Boyce's heading down to Rhode Island to celebrate their anniversary with a few beers par with 2020.
11. Martell is planning pig roast #2 in July.
12. Charlie Baker treating us all like we are children is beyond infuriating.

Monday, May 25, 2020

Summer is here

Now that we have stumbled upon Memorial Day, summer is unofficially here. The good weather is gonna be hitting this week. Let's start getting back to normal not a new normal but fucking normal.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Covid 19/Corona virus is really drawing a line in the sand and people are on polar opposite sides when they view it or how they are now dealing with it.
2. The Pig roast was a success.
3. Boyce out here just killing the grilling game.
4. I mean $49 bill at Taco Bell is really fucking impressive, Christian Daniel Macphail I would not believe it if I didn't see it with my own 2 eyes.
5. Hey Mike Foley, relax with hitting on the KFC cashier and then thinking she called the police on ya.
6. Barber shops and hair salons open today make sure you get your appointments.
7. Anyone have any good brush/comb recommendations? My hair is getting long.
8. Hope that everyone got to enjoy some of the nice weather this weekend.
9. When you go to Joes house make sure you get some harepie.
10. Relentless game of 7,11, doubles this Saturday. I think Leaden made more enemies than friends.
11. Martell needs some Midol, he hurt his back mowing a lawn for the first time since high school.
12. When do they try to cancel July 4th?

Monday, May 18, 2020

Quick question

What the fuck are we doing? Like honestly?

The average age of death is 82.
There have been 74 deaths under the age of 50.

I get it, if you are immunocompromised, have a propensity for getting sick or just old this is not an ideal world we are living in for you. But millions of people on unemployment, small business' going under, and people having to use all their life's savings to keep their family afloat is not ideal either. 

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Little kids love to watch UFC, only when there is blood.
2. Congrats to Mario and Ash on a bouncy baby girl.
3. Mother nature is so fucking bombed - hot, cold, tornadoes, fuck it snow.
4. Is it a problem when you have to have a conversation about whether 36 beers is enough for 2 people?
5. Fuck your zoom meetings.
6. Doesn't look like I'll be getting a puppy any time soon.
7. Speaking of puppies Jeffery is looking for an English lab.
8. Looks like Florida is going to have it's best summer tourism ever.
9. Chrissy is alive and well.

10. Guess we are all waiting for 11 am to see if Governor Baker will let us out of our cages.
11. I don't know if I like pizza or burgers more. 
12. Taco bell still brings the heat. 
13. Why is it so difficult to find a baby hog for sale?
14. Broccoli slaw is better than cole slaw. Don't @ me!

Monday, May 11, 2020

So

Are we ever going to go back to anything resembling a normal life?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. It felt great to be able to watch UFC live and be like a regular Saturday night.
2. Yo, sauage pepper and onion pizza from Rags is fire.
3. So basically this is Covid 19 season? Winter, spring, summer, fall and covid 19 shut down the economy season.
4. I dont think Kung Fu Dave is handling isolation well. He is down some conspiracy rabbit holes.
5. If you are looking for your Michael Jordan rookie card fix look .
6. I am really sick of these zoom meetings and seeing people sitting at home like donkeys and I am at work like an asshole.
7. Grub hub, Uber eats and all these delivery services seem to be killing it and gouging people. They charged $12.59 in fees and a fucking 25% tip on an $88.88 pizza order. Are we keeping small businesses afloat or lining these companies pockets?
8. Support your local breweries during this time. If they can't open their tap rooms, and bars aren't open to pour their kegs that is 2/3rds of their business. Buy some swag, get a 4 pack and do your part to help out.
9. When the $600 bonus runs out for unemployment and people passed on jobs while the country was reopening. It's gonna be like real life musical chairs.
10. Fucking fences are expensive as fuck.
11. One week until baby Long is here...so exciting.
12. People setting up secret haircuts from their barbers and hairstylest is where we are at now?!
13. My favorite part of covid 19 season is all the people snitching on other people. This person is not wearing a mask, these people are not social distancing, and (my favorite) people are visiting my neighbor.
14. The second favorite thing about covid 19 season - all the other genders out there are not being effected by death. It is just the females and males in the world.
15. One thing that's never going to happen again is blowing out of birthday cake candles, right? No more little kids spitting all over the cake?
16. How does Joe Martell not know who Len Bias was? Or that Ace of Cakes made Dave's wedding cake?

Stay safe out there guys and gals. If you aren't one of them you should be good.

Monday, May 4, 2020

It's here

It's May 4th, AKA Star Wars day.
So may the fourth be with you.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. There is never not a line at Wendy's.
2. May is here so let's hope the warm weather comes with it.
3. Chrissy is alive and killing the Uber game.
4. I may be going slowly insane from the self distance/quarantine life.
5. God bless people working full-time at home and teaching their kids.
6. Gonna be a real interesting summer if the beaches don't open.
7. Some days the beers just go down like glass.
8. Have we cancelled mother's day yet?
9. Who knew chicken wings were in a shortage?
10. The first sunburn of the season is kind of refreshing.
11. When will mask season be done? No body can be wearing these things all summer long.
12. Oh the edible game? More like the Christian Daniel Macphail game, amiright?


Monday, April 27, 2020

Is it over

Can someone please let me know when this is all over? I just want to stay in bed with the blankets over my head until I can go back outside.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. People flooding the Boston 311 line snitching on people being outside and not wearing masks is just silly to me.
2. I got Dairy Queen and the first one of the season just hits so good.
3. Heaven forbid you cough or sneeze anymore.
4. 15 beers in 3 1/2 hours is not too bad during Corona self isolating quarantining.
5. Has anyone seen Chrissy? Dude is too busy to snap?
6. Joe Martell just buying an 11 foot long Weber grill is such a Joe thing.
7. The rum is done love.
8. When do the beaches open up?
9. I have never had so much lunch variety at work - Uber eats, door dash, caviar and even a fucking taxi all delivered.
10. 1 year olds are like Energizer bunnies.
11. What do you miss most during this?
12. Jeffrey out here with the Peleton. Kids gonna look fire.
13. The NFL draft was good television.
14. Julie Nickerson is alive, just had her 1 year anniversary with her Beau.

I'll see you guys soon. Drinks on me!