Monday, December 31, 2012

Out with a bang

I know its getting late in the day and people are worried that I would wait until tomorrow to post things I learned. Well guess what bitches, here it is.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. There are some creepy fucks that work at the 99!!
2. If you are gonna bring in a Golden Tee ringer, make sure he has played SINCE 2004.
3. How the hell did I find out about Caswells closing HOURS before it closed. Thats some bullshit.
4. I always randomly(inadvertently) find out someone follows this blog.
5. Nothing beats a good old fashion, all day cooking , homemade pasta sauce.
6. This chipotle chicken sandwich from D'Angelos is no joke.
7. Julian can mother fucking eat.
8. People are talking about fantasy football for next year, I am just happy this years over. I am officially retiring Madd Fucking Niggerish and rebranding for next season.
9. As much as I sucked at fantasy this year, Big shout out to my wife, Katie who won her league with the help of Marshawn Lynch, Cam Newton and Trent Richardson.
10. Welchie is officially off the market ladies, have no fear though, Supah P is still DTF!
11. Nothing is worse than being in WWF jail when you can't start any games with anyone.
12. No matter how hard you try, you can never please everyone.
13. Do not take the time to watch Poe. It is kind of a slow paced ehh kind of movie.
14. It is bullshit  that you cant use gift cards towards your Home Depot credit cards.
15. Jackie Chan is a classically  trained opera singer. WHO CAN FUCK YOU UP!
16. If you text the word Seaworld to 26739 you can be entered to win a trip to Seaworld Antartica to hang out with Penguins. Please don't forget me if you win.
17. You have 1 more day to get your 50/50 raffle tickets from the Mass state lottery.
18. Do people actually stick to their New years resolutions?

Lets hope the Pats make it to the Superbowl again.
I will chat with you all next year.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve

I hope that you all have a safe and Merry Christmas. If you are looking for someone to booze with tomorrow - Sean Riccio, 401-574-5069, will be at the Wickedon Pub, getting away from his family. Clal or text him and make sure you share a pint with that naughty fucker.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. When it comes to her family, my wife has zero patience.
2. A light switch is a simple necessity.
3. Chrissy's daughter snorts salt. Must be a 2 year old thing.
4. Layden can not believe that this is in my living room:

5. MikeyT has been celebrating my birthday on different days each year, I think this year he may actually celebrate it on the actual day this Friday.
6. Should I be offended if an old lady asked me if I got a permanent? Just because my hair is long and starting to curl?
7. I finally saw Ted and it was not nearly as funny as I thought it would be.
8. Who gets a signed Nomar Garciaparra hat for Christmas? I do and everyone knows I was not a fan of his when he was here. Jokes on me!
9. My brother in law, Tim, is quite the ladies man.
10. A co worker is getting his kitchen redone and he said it will cost him at least $40,000. I was like  whoa.
11. Rumor has it Julie Nickerson is in town but I haven't heard from her, Have you?
12. It is hard to find a good foccaccia bread at a bakery.
13. Pork loin sandwiches are under rated.
14. Is it really hard to be nice during the Christmas season?
15. Has anyone ever stuck to their New Years resolutions?
16. The 3rd Annual Whitley Re-gift Yankee Swap has been officially marked down as January 12th. All are welcomed as long as you bring an unwanted gift you got this year at Christmas. Come anytime the food and drinks start flowing at 2:00pm , the gift swapping will be around 7.

Anyone interested in grabbing some food/dinner Friday night then having a few games of Golden Tee? Let me know.

Have a nice safe Christmas, Chaunnaka or Kwanzaa. Whatever you celebrate.

Christmas comes early

Tmx is here for the week 16 review!

We now come down to the final week of the season with no of the big spots decided!! First and second place is now separated by 58pts as Dillonz Villenz who led from week 4-12 has seem to hit the wall. Sflabohfrw took charge in week 13 and has pushed the lead up. Villenz is going to have to dig deep and make the right plays and hope for some of Sflabo's stars to sit to pull this off. The spot for 3rd,  the last money spot is as hot as ever separated by .5 with DTF pulling ahead of Beachbums. This battle has been going on seemingly all season and the right plays in the last week will decide it as both these teams have consistently supplied the All Iggles with players. The beer bitch and dress wearer is down to a 37pt lead MFN has over Nutsaway. Both teams suffering through disappointing season and injuries it will end up who's team has enough healthy producing players in week 17!!

Now onto the results of this week. The 2nd place team surging out of the basement was Slippery Wizards.  Slippery Wizards were looking at a first to worst being in last 3 weeks ago but somehow got it together to be 165 out of last. This week thanks go to Roddy White and the ELEVEN sack defense of the Chargers. Shanks go to Brady and Hernandez who probably cost the Wizards a weekly win. The third place team this week was Sflabo who can thank Beastmode ( Lynch equals championship? he did play a role in Wizards last year) and Thomas. The shanks go to Ridley and Gresham. The fourth place team this week was the Jerkshots. Thanks go to Brees and Colston while both rbs get shanked as Turner and Gore totalled 9pts. The 5th place team this week was Black Dynamite who can thank HOLY ROMO who put 45 but usually solid AP and Niners D get shanked this week.

The 6th place team were the Beachbums who can thank Ryan and Jamal Charles but will have to shank Gonzo for a dismal performance. 7th place this week was Dillonz Villionz who can thank his team Mvp Manning for another great outting but shanks go to his rb Foster and Richardson who totalled 9.5 with one being carted off with a knee and the other with an irregular heart. OUCH.  The 8th place team this week was White Unicorn who had potential fantasy mvp Megatron go off again and can thank Spiller as well but the shanks go to Schaub and Shorts. 9th place this week was MFN who probably just lost another player while Tmx makes this report!! MFN can thank Packers D and Forte til he went down shanks go to both Wrs. Hicks for his 0 points and Paris Hilton for her 4pts MFN will need to make the right plays to stay out of the dress. The last place team this week was Nutsaway. Not much to thank on Nutsaway but Stafford did throw for over 400 yards but zero tds so he gets the thanks the shanks list is long but his best player over the last 4 weeks BJGE gets shanked as well as Victor Cruz who seems to have disappeared on Nutsaway. One big week and Nutsaway could pull himself out of the basement!! The winner this week was DTF who finally got Ray Rice to play a better game than AP and Rodgers had another great game the shank will go to H. Miller the only guy not scoring in double digits for DTF. The fight is on for the final money spot so DTF needs everyone rolling in week 17!! Now onto the All Iggles.

QB-  R. Wilson                    30pts                     Beachbums
RB-  R. Bush                       30pts                     Villenz
RB-  D. Sproles                   22.5pts                   Slippery Wizards
WR- D. Bryant                     43.5pts                  Sflabo
WR- M. Williams                  27.5pts                  White Unicorn
TE-   K. Rudolph                   10.5pts                  MFN
D-     Steelers                      25pts                     Beachbums
K-     Tucker                        15pts                     Beachbums

   The All Iggles finished with over 200pts once again coming in at 204. The Beachbums again were major contributors. Tmx is investigating that the Beachbums war room is shut down and he is going over strategy with Nutsaway these past few weeks. STAY TUNED. Tmx cant pass up the irony of RUDOLPH making the All Iggles a huge scrooge run organization!! All jokes aside the final week is here and its do or die!! Lets hope all your players have to play and there are no injuries.

 Tmx wishes all a happy holiday and good luck. TMX OUT

Friday, December 21, 2012

TMX Week 15

Week 15 is in the books and here is Tmx's review!!

It was a wild week with teams moving and some teams missing opportunities to make the leap. There are two weeks left and with injuries and teams resting players its going to make for a very interesting end to the season. The top two spots are separated by under 40 and the bottom two by 10!! The third and fourth place teams are just as close separated by 22pts to finish in the money! Lets get to it.

 The second place team once again was White Unicorn fourth time in the last five weeks The Unicorns have been runner ups this time losing it on Sundays late game. The Unicorns thanks go to CJ Spiller and of course Megatron who is as hot as anyone in the league, the shanks go to Schaub and Witten and the guy who decided to sit Pitta. Third place this week is Beachbums who is locked in the battle for 3rd and can thank Ryan and Andre Johnson but shanks go to Jamal Charles and Reggie Wayne. The right plays are needed to finish in the money for the Beachbums. Fourth place goes to the current leader Sflabohfrw who can thank Beastmode, Bengals D and Julio Jones but 1pt Ridley gets shanked and puts the rb position in trouble for the final two weeks!! 5th this week was Jerkshots who can only thank Brees while the rest of the team can get shanked as there was not one other player over 20! 6th this week was Black Dynamite who can thank possible fantasy mvp AP who went off again and can shank one last time Ryan Mathews who again failed to get double digits and now is done for the year. 

Tmx listed Mathews as a shank every week and no change finally hes out for the year and maybe  now BD will take him off the roster. 7th place goes to Villenz who is in a dogfight for the top spot. Thanks goes to his rb duo but a shank to Daniels and an underproducing Manning. Villenz needs Manning to get hot again and to make the right plays to pull this off. 8th place this week goes to DTF who can thank Rodgers but shank his usually reliable rbs Rice and Martin. DTF made the Iggles happy this week but hurt his team, right plays will decide if he finishes in the money. 9th place this week is the voodoo cursed MFN who fought through RG3's injury and can thank Dalton and Packers D for ok performances  but Alexander dropping a 0 can get a shank. The injury bug has dominated MFN and he is fighting to stay out of wearing the dress with the last two weeks hoping to stay in 9th!!

 Last place this week was Nutsaway who got big games from his late season pickups Cobb and controversial trade BJGE they get the thanks but Stafford and Cruz get shanked and could have cost them getting out of the basement!! The winner this week was Slippery Wizards who got a waiver wire pickup thanks from Crabtree and solid performance from Brady while shanks go to Roddy White who made one catch!! The All Iggles was the team of the week and thanks mainly to just two teams who are both fighting for the money as well as costing one team the weekly win. Somewhere Iggles smirks.

Here are the totals

QB- C. Kaepernick                                   32pts                        DTF
RB-  B. Wells                                          24pts                        DTF
RB-  C. Johnson                                      23pts                        Beachbums
WR- E. Decker                                        28pts                        Beachbums
WR- J.  Jones                                         26.5pts                      DTF
TE-  D. Pitta                                           32.5pts                      White Unicorn
K---  B. Walsh                                         21pts                        DTF
D-     49ers                                             13pts                        Black Dynamite

                 Well the All Iggles went for 200pts exactly this week and this is exactly what being on the All Iggles is about. The last thing you want is your team on there and this week DTF and Beachbums loaded up the Iggles and cost them chances to get separation and White Unicorn's one player on there was the one that cost him the week!! Never a good time to be on there but to stack the team and cost your team is particularly painful!! Lets not be an All Iggles helper!! The last two weeks are here no Thursday action but there is Saturday action. The waiver wire saw some movement and the last two weeks wr snagged off the wire helped teams with 30pt performances so the wire is still alive!! Lets hope for no injuries and a big week for one of the teams that has yet to win a week. Good luck. Tmx OUT.

Monday, December 17, 2012

1 week left

I hope everyone is out there stimulating the economy and buying up some Christmas gifts.

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. Joe Q loves himself some Fuddruckers.
2. I have never seen 2 different guys play hockey left handed with a right handed stick before.
3. I never want to see the day shift at the Golden Banana again.
4. Do chicks really believe guys can't get strippers? I mean Greek is dating one.
5. You really can not beat $15 dollar buckets of beers, even if it feels like you crashed a house party.
6. Supah P not only does landscaping but that mofo even takes down trees,
7. Shaun Larry took a ball off the face during hockey and now has a shiner.
8. Why are Patriots fans so arrogant?
9. The Hobbit was ok. I give it 3 1/2 out of 5.
10. Since when is your dick not above your balls? I mean thats right above your balls, right?
11. Rumor has it Jeffrey couldn't make hockey this year due to a HANGOVER!
12. Chrissy is getting all new windows in his house, suck it drafty windows.
13. According to the drunk irish kids outside the Granite Rail, its the place to be on Saturday nights for a kick ass band.
14. I think that may of been the last street hockey game.
15. Would anyone be apposed to the Yankee regift party being on Saturday, January 12th instead of the 5th?
16. How many times can you be told that you look homeless before you actually shave and get a haircut? I am currently on  8 times in 2 days...going strong.
17. Mikey T does not like to be in a car with the gas light on.
19. Wal-Mart is so ghetto.
20. The dart team is looking for some new blood. Anyone interested??
21. It is awfully hard to get everyone together for Christmas.
22. You know that you are getting old when you bring Advil with you.

Hey good luck shopping out there guys, and please remember my birthday is a on a Friday this year.
Bottoms up!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

TMX week 14

The Tmx review is in!!! Week 14 is done and there are only 3 weeks left!! There is still movement for almost every team to either finish in the money or finish in a dress!! Top 2 teams are neck and neck separated by 29pts and the the 3 and 4 teams are separated by 13pts!!

 Teams 5-7 are all around 100pts from finishing in the money and the final 3 spots is the tightest race separated by only 8 points!! The league hasnt seen this much movement in the final 3 weeks remaining in a long time. There are alot of spots up for grabs so making the right moves is so very crucial as on team on the All Iggles found out this week!! Lets get right to the totals for the week. 2nd place this week was DTF who can thank his rb's Rice and Martin along with wr Marshall all putting up big numbers but QB Rodgers can get shanked as well as .5 scoring Myers Dtf is fighting to stay in the money! The third place team this week was Villenz who can thank Vincent Jackson and pickup of the weeek Kenny Britt but shanks are needed for Owen Daniels and the bears D. Villenz is hanging tough in the race for the top. The fourth place finisher was Slippery Wizards who rode Brady and Hernandez out of the basement barely out but out and can shank Bradshaw and his defense who allowed 58pts this week!! Fifth this week was Nutsaway who slid back in the basement but only by a few points thanking Cruz and Cobb while shanking his rbs .

6th place this week Beachbums who will shank Cj and Gonzo and thank Charles for keeping him in a battle for the money. 7th place this week goes to Black Dynamite who cant thank once again AP who is fighting for fantasy mvp since being traded as well as Steve Smith coming alive shanks will go to two guys who have been on fire Luck and Welker. Black Dynamite is in the mix of teams that could get hot and chase down a money spot. 8th place this week goes to MFN who can thank the browns d and wr Alexander for good performances but shanks goes to last weeks star Bryce Brown and Jimmy Graham. The 9th place team and continuing their slide is Jerkshots. Still in the mix for a push for the money they can thank the bucs d but alot of shanking going around starting with .5 Vernon Davis again sitting Olsen Davis just disappoints also Turner and Colston can get shanked this week! This weeks last place team is White Unicorn. Tmx confirmed this week the elusive Iggles personally called White Unicorn for leaving Seattle vs Arizona on the bench!! OUCHIE.  Unicorns can thank Megatron again guy is legit but shanks go out to a group of players including Schaub, Spiller, Avery and may as well shank Janikowski and his one extra point too!! This weeks winner and Monday night killer is Sflabohfrw. Coming through on Monday night again to take the win and stay in first. Beastmode just as he did last year in the final weeks is leading Sflabo to the promiseland. Gresham and Ridley get shanked and could be the achilles heel for Sflabo but only time will tell if he can hold on. Now onto a record breaking All Iggles team.

QB-  Newton                       45pts                            Sflabo
RB-   Sproles                      21pts                            Slippery Wizards
RB--  Moreno                      28pts                            Slippery Wizards
WR-   Maclin                       25.5pts                         Nutsaway   
WR-   Wallace                     31.5pts                         Black Dynamite
TE-    Olsen                         13pts                            Jerkshots
K-      Prater                        14pts                            White Unicorn
D-      Seattle                       41pts                            White Unicorn

  The All Iggles put up 219pts this week!! A tremendous performance helped by the Slippery Wizards providing the whole backfield and Sflabo giving 45 at qb. The Iggles thanking White Unicorn for the Seattle d which was inexplicably started over the Pats d which was facing his qb? Crazy move that pushed White Unicorn back in the race for finishing in the money not sure that hurts more than a call from Iggles!! The teams supplying the Iggles need to make better choices in the final 3 weeks or they will pay the price!! The final 3 weeks are  the time to make or break the season!! Thursday action tonight starts it all so good luck and hope all are healthy. Tmx out.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Little FYI

My birthday is only 17 days away...if you are out there looking for gifts for me. I am a size 12 in sneakers, a size 38 in pants and a 2xl for shirts.  Oh yeah my birthday is also on a Friday night so if you have babies line up the baby sitters now.

Sorry I couldn't get to the blog yesterday. It was a tad bit busy being 64 in Boston and all.

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. I would rather work any Saturday over a Sunday.
2. Some broads get so mad about strip clubs. I don't really get that.
3. Scituate is holding meeting to discuss marijuana distribution centers locations. I am sure the residents love that.
4. Anyone looking for a town house condo up on the North shore? Mikey T is gonna out his place on the market.
5. Jeffrey may be out for hockey this year. He doesn't seem to be able to get a baby sitter...anyone?
6. Believe it or not Chrissy is off for the rest of 2012 so if you are looking to party hit him up.
7. The new Howie Mandell game show is straight up trash.
8. Mikey Layden always seems to put me in a good mood.
9. Is there any worse spot to get a zit than inside your ear lobe?
10. The Japanese population is so old that they sell more adult diapers than baby diapers.
11. This may be the last year for street hockey. No one seems that interested.
12. How much mucus and phlegm can the body produce when you are sick? I mean I must have coughed up at least 5 gallons of the shit.
13. Going to the dentist is just inconvenient.
14. People who are complaining about 65 degrees in December need a swift punch in the junk.
15. Iggles says he gets 53 miles per gallon in his Prius. I MEAN HOLY HELL!
16. TK and I are no longer on speaking terms if he pulls a typical TK move on Saturday and blows off hockey.
17. Would you rather go to Fuddruckers, Kowloon, or Buffalo Wild wings for lunch?
18. I may be off for the second Christmas in a row. Talk about a streak.
19. Why is it people have an opinion, they state it but if yours is contradicting or different they rip you?
20. My wife only buys vegetable soup. I'm home,  sick as a dog and I want some chicken noodle soup or beef barley, hell ill take Dinty Moore beef stew. Nope we only have veggie this or veggie that, cream of some fucking veggie. I went and bought a bunch of soup when I got better, ya know for next time.
21. Is anyone buying the 50/50 raffle tickets from the Mass Lottery?
22. The longer people make snide rude comments about my beard the longer I think i'll keep it.

Hey have a nice week.
Be careful out there. Its a crazy crazy world.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

TMX week 13 review

Week 13 is done and Tmx is here to report all about it!!

The season is winding down and the races are as close as they have been with a new team in first and a new team in last!! Last years champs Slippery Wizards are close to pulling off the first to worst move while the Villenz relinquished their grip on first to Sflabohfrw!!! 3rd and 4th place are separated by less than 10 and so is the 8-10 teams for dress and beer bitch! The final four weeks will be the closest ever and each team needs to get production and make the right moves!! Schedules need to be checked and teams that look to clinch and will rest players will be big factors in the final four weeks!! Its the best time of the year for fantasy leagues so lets get ready!! The second place team this week was White Unicorn who is the self proclaimed "reason people in ADSL trade" as he said in an exclusive Tmx interview. He thanks his star Megatron for another solid week. Megatron is the best fantasy player when his team is out of real life contention in the history of fantasy football, astounding his garbage time numbers!! Shank goes out to Reece who failed to put up the numbers and was out performed by benched Sjax. Third place went to the new leader Sflabo who thanks D. Thomas and Cam Newton and shanks Julio Jones as his wr dilemma continues benching Dez who has been must start for a few weeks now!! Fourth place goes to MFN who is making separation from the basement with thanks to  waiver wire star Bryce Brown who had another great week. The shanks go to two stars who underperformed Nicks and Graham. The fifth place team and bursting out of the basement is Nutsaway who thanks White Unicorn for Bjge who had another great game as well as a red hot Stafford. Shanks go to Gates and Cobb who had off weeks! 6th place was DTF who thanks Myers who had a career game while his Rodgers to Jordy Nelson combo gets shanked with bad weeks!!
7th place this week is Beachbums who shanks started on Thursday when Matty Ryan put up a terrible night and Cj did the same Sunday but the thanks are to Jets D and Jamal Charles keeping Beachbums in the race. 8th place was Villenz who continued his slide out of first with thanks to Manning and Richardson trying to stop the slide while shanks to Fitzy and Vincent Jackson who didnt help this week. 9th place is the Jerkshots who have hit the wall. Three weeks ago they were in the top 3 looking to make a run now they have fallen to 6th. Turner and Aj Green should be thanked but a terrible game by Brees and the on again this time OFF again Vernon Davis will get the shanks. This weeks last place team and now last overall is the Slippery Wizards. They had one of those weeks were we will thanks the rbs and shank the rest of the team especially the wrs who combined got 3 points!! The Tmx advice for Slippery Wizards with no more trades is to find a wr on the wire and pray God Brady can get hot otherwise hit the gym dont wanna look sloppy like Smiddawg in a dress.

First place and finally coming together this week was Black Dynamite. Thanks to Romo, S. Smith and per usual since the trade AP again put up big numbers. Shank AGAIN is Ryan Mathews who has been shanked since Tmx started this. Apparently BD doesnt read Tmx or he would have made another trade or not started Mathews. Quick research shows in the 10 wks Mathews has played only ONE week was he over 10pts. Shank City.

Now onto the all Iggles:

QB-    Luck                41pts                    Black Dynamite
RB-    D.Murray          17pts                    Beachbums
RB-    S.Greene          15pts                    Black Dynamite
WR-   D. Bryant           24pts                   Sflabo
WR-   P. Garcon          25pts                    DTF
TE-    H.Miller              17.5pts                 DTF
K-       C. Barth             13pts                   DTF
D-      Texans               31pts                   Villenz

    The Iggles pulled out the win again with 183.5 mostly thanks to DTF who put 3 players on the team far too many this late in the season!! Villenz and Black Dynamite continue to struggle with which qb and def to play having two great options. Cant go without mentioning Iggles kicker hitting 2 50yders this week. Iggles loves his kickers and I'm sure smirked seeing that contribution! The final weeks are going to make or break a season worth of work for alot of team so its important to stay off the All Iggles. Thursday night action has been make or break all season, Villenz you listening? Get your lineups ready and lets hope for no injuries. Good Luck. Tmx OUT.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Let It snow

It snowed on December 1st and now it is 56 degrees outside. You figure it out.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Mario scored a 96 on the fire fighters exam. LETS CELEBRATE BITCHES.
2. Working on Sunday during football season is a drag man.
3. Katie seems to like her Uggs more than she may like me.
4. Watch your dogs, the ticks are out there looking for a warm place before they die off for the winter.
5. My brother Ryan has had both his appendix and gall bladder removed(not at the same time knuckle heads). I mean what other parts do you not need inside of ya?
6. Its amazing that you can still get Sox Pax for this upcoming season. And not just the shitty packages.
7. Not that many people are geared up for the Annual Street Hockey game. What gives?
8. I don't understand the Elf on a Shelf. That dude is straight up scary.
9. The Stadium is opening up a spot in Fanuel Hall, taking over the spot of Mcfaddens.
10. Rumor has it Smiddy is too fancy for the Junction now and spends most of his time at Lincoln.(This rumor has been neither confirmed or denied).
11. Its not officially the Christmas season until you hear Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas."
12. How the hell did I get a cold? I was fine Friday and then BOOM hit me like a brick Saturday.
13. I guess The BeachComber is still the Sunday night hot spot. The older I get the more things remain the same.
14. I heard all the jokes about Instagram being picture of food and trees. Yes, that is basically all I ever see on there.
15. The Yankee re-gift swap has been set. January 5th people, I hope you get really good shitty gifts.
16. The Cheesecake factory is always effing packed. Doesn't matter the day or time. Random Tuesday night or Thursday afternoon. PACKED!
17. Chrissy cleaned up at the card game the other day. Aint no body hold him down.
18. You really can not teach stupid.

Till next week.

If you are in the Quincy area tomorrow night. The dart team will be playing their last regular season game of the year. Stop down the South Side tavern.