Monday, May 25, 2020

Summer is here

Now that we have stumbled upon Memorial Day, summer is unofficially here. The good weather is gonna be hitting this week. Let's start getting back to normal not a new normal but fucking normal.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Covid 19/Corona virus is really drawing a line in the sand and people are on polar opposite sides when they view it or how they are now dealing with it.
2. The Pig roast was a success.
3. Boyce out here just killing the grilling game.
4. I mean $49 bill at Taco Bell is really fucking impressive, Christian Daniel Macphail I would not believe it if I didn't see it with my own 2 eyes.
5. Hey Mike Foley, relax with hitting on the KFC cashier and then thinking she called the police on ya.
6. Barber shops and hair salons open today make sure you get your appointments.
7. Anyone have any good brush/comb recommendations? My hair is getting long.
8. Hope that everyone got to enjoy some of the nice weather this weekend.
9. When you go to Joes house make sure you get some harepie.
10. Relentless game of 7,11, doubles this Saturday. I think Leaden made more enemies than friends.
11. Martell needs some Midol, he hurt his back mowing a lawn for the first time since high school.
12. When do they try to cancel July 4th?

Monday, May 18, 2020

Quick question

What the fuck are we doing? Like honestly?

The average age of death is 82.
There have been 74 deaths under the age of 50.

I get it, if you are immunocompromised, have a propensity for getting sick or just old this is not an ideal world we are living in for you. But millions of people on unemployment, small business' going under, and people having to use all their life's savings to keep their family afloat is not ideal either. 

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Little kids love to watch UFC, only when there is blood.
2. Congrats to Mario and Ash on a bouncy baby girl.
3. Mother nature is so fucking bombed - hot, cold, tornadoes, fuck it snow.
4. Is it a problem when you have to have a conversation about whether 36 beers is enough for 2 people?
5. Fuck your zoom meetings.
6. Doesn't look like I'll be getting a puppy any time soon.
7. Speaking of puppies Jeffery is looking for an English lab.
8. Looks like Florida is going to have it's best summer tourism ever.
9. Chrissy is alive and well.

10. Guess we are all waiting for 11 am to see if Governor Baker will let us out of our cages.
11. I don't know if I like pizza or burgers more. 
12. Taco bell still brings the heat. 
13. Why is it so difficult to find a baby hog for sale?
14. Broccoli slaw is better than cole slaw. Don't @ me!

Monday, May 11, 2020


Are we ever going to go back to anything resembling a normal life?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. It felt great to be able to watch UFC live and be like a regular Saturday night.
2. Yo, sauage pepper and onion pizza from Rags is fire.
3. So basically this is Covid 19 season? Winter, spring, summer, fall and covid 19 shut down the economy season.
4. I dont think Kung Fu Dave is handling isolation well. He is down some conspiracy rabbit holes.
5. If you are looking for your Michael Jordan rookie card fix look .
6. I am really sick of these zoom meetings and seeing people sitting at home like donkeys and I am at work like an asshole.
7. Grub hub, Uber eats and all these delivery services seem to be killing it and gouging people. They charged $12.59 in fees and a fucking 25% tip on an $88.88 pizza order. Are we keeping small businesses afloat or lining these companies pockets?
8. Support your local breweries during this time. If they can't open their tap rooms, and bars aren't open to pour their kegs that is 2/3rds of their business. Buy some swag, get a 4 pack and do your part to help out.
9. When the $600 bonus runs out for unemployment and people passed on jobs while the country was reopening. It's gonna be like real life musical chairs.
10. Fucking fences are expensive as fuck.
11. One week until baby Long is exciting.
12. People setting up secret haircuts from their barbers and hairstylest is where we are at now?!
13. My favorite part of covid 19 season is all the people snitching on other people. This person is not wearing a mask, these people are not social distancing, and (my favorite) people are visiting my neighbor.
14. The second favorite thing about covid 19 season - all the other genders out there are not being effected by death. It is just the females and males in the world.
15. One thing that's never going to happen again is blowing out of birthday cake candles, right? No more little kids spitting all over the cake?
16. How does Joe Martell not know who Len Bias was? Or that Ace of Cakes made Dave's wedding cake?

Stay safe out there guys and gals. If you aren't one of them you should be good.

Monday, May 4, 2020

It's here

It's May 4th, AKA Star Wars day.
So may the fourth be with you.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. There is never not a line at Wendy's.
2. May is here so let's hope the warm weather comes with it.
3. Chrissy is alive and killing the Uber game.
4. I may be going slowly insane from the self distance/quarantine life.
5. God bless people working full-time at home and teaching their kids.
6. Gonna be a real interesting summer if the beaches don't open.
7. Some days the beers just go down like glass.
8. Have we cancelled mother's day yet?
9. Who knew chicken wings were in a shortage?
10. The first sunburn of the season is kind of refreshing.
11. When will mask season be done? No body can be wearing these things all summer long.
12. Oh the edible game? More like the Christian Daniel Macphail game, amiright?