Monday, September 28, 2015

How Come

How come no one is planning hay rides, apple picking, or haunted houses?  THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT!

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Food truck festivals are the shit!
2. Always a good time bumping into someone you haven't seen a few years.
3. The Hancock Tavern isn't a bad spot. Nice little patio out back and decent food.
4. Welcome back Mike Foley.
5. Who doesn't like college football? I mean football is football.
6. Calnan says that fall is bulking season. So the carb free summer is over.
7. Don't forget the Annual Kubie Krawl is this Saturday in Southie, swing by for some drinks and laughs. The money raised go towards a great cause.
8. Ecco in Weymouth is a pretty inexpensive place for dinner.
9. There is nothing worse than a slow Monday.
10. Papa Ginos pizza is under rated.
11. This list is very food driven.
12. Are you guys sad that CSI is over?
13. Fucking fruit flies are shit! They never ever seem to disappear.
14. How come you can not get a hot dog omelet?
15. I prefer bananas to be more on the green side.
16. Why do I feel like every day I get an email about my damn credit score. Are credit scores the new Nigerian prince?
17. I can do without calamari. Doesn't really do much for me.
18. Has anyone heard from Supah P? I have texted him on a few occasions with no response, man LOVE IS DEEP!

That is all I have today. Food, food and more food I guess.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

TMX week 2 review

TMX week 2 review is here.

There were big name injuries this week and this seems to be the trend for this year, so trades and the waiver wire should be heating up. Equalizers and BeachBums made a trade with the BeachBums getting Mr everything Dion Lewis, Martellius Bennett and Giants d for Pats d, Injured Julius Thomas and Rashad Jennings. TMX loves the action and also loves a team owner's reaction " never trust a beach weasel and a smile".

Lets get to the review.  This weeks winner was Charlie's Angels ( due to budget cuts at Drunknothings TMX lost its stats guy BUT we believe this is their first winning week!) Angels put up 141pts Brady dropped 44 and the Broncos WR corp of Demaryius and Sanders totaled 44 as well! Tight end Allen put up a goose egg but it didn't matter as Card D put up 20 plus!! A solid week which moved the Angels into serious contention at the top! Second with 137 was Skza's Squad. Skza's was led by Edelman ( NINETEEN TARGETS), hotshot rookie Amari Cooper and the J-E-T-S D. Forte  and Shady had off weeks and Blount got Belichicked into a 0 or Skza would have had his first win of the season, either way they are in the hunt. Third place this week is DMC with 128. DMC is riding the big arm of Big Ben who put up 41 and stud ODB put up his first big game of the year. DMC  has some work to do to get to the top but he also has a bench mob of Stevie Johnson ( 1st in the  league in yards after the catch) and whats my name JAMESJONES. All he does is catch TDs. 4th this place was Jaybirds with 121. Jaybirds is the place to go for all your wide receiver needs!! This week the dynamic duo of Julio and Antonio "Wha's that" Brown put up 25 and 37 respectively. His wr's on the bench fitzy and marshall had 38 and 27!! Jaybird equals WR U. Make him an offer before we have Robfrey 2.0 on our hands!! 5th place with 114 was Slippery Wizards. Wizards getting zero from the big name rbs is doing it with garbage time Mathews TDs, waiver pickup Moncrief and Mr 25pts Matty Ryan. Gonna be a long season if that is to continue!!

6th place with 106 was Black Dynamite. Black Dynamite is riding the Rodgers-Cobb-Crosby (14pt kicker) so far that has kept them afloat and now they get best rb in football back ( BELL) so they should be making their way further up the top!! 7th place this week was Creepshots with 104. The Stafford-Mega combo showed some life but the team is starting to be Gronk and the rest of the guys. Browns d putting 34pts up on the bench didn't help "the rest of the guys". 8th place with 101 was Beach Bums. Hill putting up 0 put them in a hole and Landry and Charles were the only guys touching the 20s this week. Mr Everything Dion Lewis may have to be factored into the lineup and Arian Foster is due back soon so BeachBums are not in a bad spot. 9th place this week with 89 was Supah P's. Supah was led by Russy Wilson , Eagles D, and Supah P fav T- Williams. Lacy and Roddy putting up a 0 hurt the squad this week but Freeman and Gio getting more run should help the Supahs or as one owner called them " the ralph tresvants " -( man like me, man with sensitivity).

 Last place this week was Equalizers with 85. Pats d and kicker Tucker led the team. You read that right. Kicker 15 and d 24. How long are Equalizers going to wait for Luck to get out of it is the question?  Well, as we ponder that lets make some calls.

 First up from the last place team we are calling the always hyped up Steve Smith Sr who was on the Equalizers bench this week putting up 25 which is more that any of his starters. Hey Steve whats good its TMX " OH MY MAN TMX WHATS GOING DOWN, THIS IS MY LAST YEAR GLAD YOU CALLED, I HAD A GREAT WEEK 150YDS 10 CATCHES WE WON THIS SHIT RIGHT?" Uhhhm not quite Steve you guys came in last and worse you weren't even in the lineup! " YOU KIDDING ME? REMEMBER WHEN I SAID THERE WOULD BE BLOOD AND GUTS SO WEAR YOUR GOGGLES WHEN THE PANTHERS LET ME GO? WELL TELL WHOEVER ISNT STARTING ME HE BETTER HAVE HIS GOGGLES ON! SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET. SITTING STEVE SMITH SENIOR" Love the intensity ( all caps) Steve and we will pass the message along! You'll be missed next year if your looking for work TMX is hiring. " HA GOOD ONE TMX HOPE YOU CALL ME BACK WHEN I PUT UP ANOTHER MONSTER WEEK. STEVE SMITH SR. DONT YOU FORGET IT OR I'LL BUST YO LIP" Ha old Steve Smith always a great call.

Let's call Tom Brady from the winning team. Hey Tom its TMX great start to the season. " Oh TMX thanks man, just doing everything I can to help the team win, I mean all the players are playing great I'm just doing my part." Always humble which ironically is the opposite of your owner who threw it in the whole leagues face and may or may not have flew a plane over TMX headquarters telling everyone you were the 90th pick in the draft? " oh TMX I'm sure many great players went ahead of me, I'm just fortunate to have great teammates and coaches who put me in position to win ( loud Portuguese yelling in the backround) Tom Tom everything ok? " don't you call my husband or this house I remember you guys sneaking around when I was with Leonardo and then calling me a homewrecker when me and Tommy got together LEAVE US ALONE" Uhmm this Gisele? This is TMX  not that silly fake reporting agency. We are a legitimate fantasy football reporting site. "  huh? oh ?? uhhm let me give Tom back the phone. Hey guys sorry bout that think she thought you were someone else. Ha women. Anyway coach got us preparing for next week so I have to cut this call short. Thanks again TMX. " Thank you Tom good luck the rest of the way.

The season is young and there is plenty of football to be played but with injuries and players having slow starts some teams may not want to hang on too long and have a huge hole to climb out of. Heres a look at the standings as we head to week 3

1. Jaybirds
2. Charlies Angels 18
3. Black Dynamite 20
4. Skza's Squad     27
5. Creepshots        62
6. Slippery Wizards 64
7. Beach Bums       71
8. DMC                  76
9. Equalizers          86
10 Supah P's          90

          As is normal there are tight races at the top and the bottom but it can all change with one good week. Lets hope the injury bug slows down and everyone stars start to play like it!! Trades and waiver wire adds are your friends. TMX out.

Monday, September 21, 2015


Fall is here bitches and that's my favorite season. Hoodies, jeans and comfort food a plenty.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. It is almost time to use your heat at your house people.
2. Jason Foley is giving away a 55 inch projection TV if you know a guy.
3. It always feels like stealing when you get gas for less than $2 a gallon.
4. Don't fret people, Mario is back from his honeymoon and killing it.
5. All the kids are saying the new Destiny game is the shit. (BY kids I mean grown men).
6. Why does Twitter and Snapchat always change their aps just when I get comfortable with them.
7. Chrissy is flying down to NC to load up Flounders truck and move him back up here. This has all the makings of a story that involves jail.
8. I heard through the grapevine that Supah P is happy in love - even CLEAN SHAVEN!
9. I don't know what show I like better "West Texas Investors club" or "Live free or die". But man I get caught up in both.
10. So some of you have been to the Topsfield Fair, what about King Richards fair? What you know about that?
11. It looks like it is apple picking season. I can not wait for all the apple pies.
12. You don't really learn all that much new shit when you work loads and loads of hours.
13. I always get nervous when Chrissy doesn't text/snap/tweet for a few days.
14. I can  not believe that 2015 is 3/4th of the way over. Feels like only a few weeks ago summer was starting.
15. Fucking Suicide pool massacre this weekend. a pool of 55 down to 4 active with 2 tonight taking Indy...WHATTT!!!
16. Maybe Calnan is slyly dating. No angry blogs, no conspiracy theory texts, no attacking innocent bystanders...only thing I can think of. Welcome back to being a person Calnan.

That's all I have time for people.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

TMX week 1 in the book review

TMX is back with the weekly review!!

Due to major construction at Drunknothings (look for hats and t shirts coming soon), TMX's reviews have been told to be short and sweet.

First a quick shout out to @jimmykempski a must follow if you want to keep up on all your Iggles info.

Now onto the week 1 recap. This weeks winner was last years dress wearer The Jaybirds who put up 160! The term wagon is well know around ADSL so its no surprise that that's the label Jaybirds is getting! Led by Muddy Rivers and star wr's Julio and Brown the Jaybirds are primed for an end to end run. Especially when you realize he left 36 points on the bench with Carlos Hyde. Jaybirds putting the league on notice.

2nd this week was Black Dynamite. Looks like bringing Black Mike and the crew to the draft has got the boys at Black Dynamite ready to push for the top. Rodgers, Hopkins, Oldman Witten and the Panthers d helped BD put up 154! Considering Bell isn't even back yet and Sproles and Harvin are fighting to get in the lineup its may be another long year for the BD haters; which TMX found out there are many!!

3rd place this week was Charlie's Angels with 121. Brady led the Angels with Ingram helping out. Charlie's Angels was the talk of the draft going all in on the Bronco's offense with CJ, Sanders and D. Thomas. TMX had a rare one on one interview owners of Charlies and there is legitimate concern when the talk turned to "noodle arm" Manning. Getting 19 points out of those two wide receivers is something to worry about, as is picking up Mcmanus and his 15 points and letting them rot on the bench!! Fantasy rule number 1 you pick up a player during the week you start him - PERIOD.

4th place this week was Skza Squad with 114. Skza got a great week from Mr. Everything Forte and Jets D but Manning put up 4 points and Bush put up a goose egg!! Skza's left baby Gronk Kelce's and his 30pts on the bench - that needs to change ASAP!!

5th place this week was Creepshots with 114.  Creepshots were led by Target Monster Keenan Allen and of course Gronk. The Stafford/Mega combo was a week one let down with only 21 and  Sefarian-Jenkins is pushing for the double tight end set putting up 30 on the bench!!

6th place with 109 this week was Equalizers. Led by Sankey ( you read that right) Luck, and the Broncos D. There may be a qb battle over there at Equalizers as Palmer was putting up 36 on the bench!! Equalizers made a name for themselves this week with trying to trade Dez Bryants injured ass for everyone's top picks!!

7th place this week was Beach Bums owners or preseason MVP Doug Martin. Beach Bums put up 109 with Brees, Hill and Charles having decent but not star weeks. Owen Daniels giving the team 1 point at tight end hurt the cause but Beach Bums ain't called Beach Weasles for nothing, they will figure it out and makes some TRAIDS that will get them back to the top.

8th place this week was last years winner Slippery Wizards with 102. Ryan and Mathews put up decent numbers but when a def, tight end and flex player COMBINED get the same as your kicker, changes need to be made.

9th place this week with 102 was Supah P's. Wilson, Lacy and Seahawks D carried the team that started Evans who was out injured and left Eifert and Wright and their 50 plus points on the bench. Bench Mob indeed.

Last place in week one went to the TMX favorite to win it all DMC with 75pts. Big Ben (upside down pick) led the team but number one pick AP putting up 6 and Vinitieri getting NEGATIVE 1 left DMC in big time trouble. Tevin (Campbell) Coleman - AKA Mr Round and Round on the streets - did an ok job getting 80yds but DMC is gonna have to maybe get Romo or Jones in that lineup to get out of the cellar.

 Lets make some quick calls and get out of here, first up Carlos Hyde of the Jaybirds.

Hey Mr. Hyde its TMX calling to talk about your week putting up 36 point for the Jaybirds bench. " TMX? who you fools?? You looking for some sort of donation?" Whoa whoa TMX needs no donations we have enough Folan dollars to go from here to San Fran and back 7 times, we just called to ask you how it feels to be on Jaybirds team and him benching you week one? " listen TMX you seen my quotes? I plays for my family, teammates and the name on my back! you got me? This interview is going all wrong Mr. Hyde. I just wanted to know how you like the league and your team?  " listen my man I aint into fantasy I'm into real life, how'd you even get my number?" We are TMX we have all the numbers and you know what don't bother changing yours cuz good chance we don't call it again. TMX doesn't deal with these attitudes. CLICK. Well that was something, first time in TMX history that we had to hang up on someone. Week one off to a blazing start. That was a first and now another first. TMX next call was to none other than Adrian Peterson. Hey AP its old friend TMX whats going on? " oh man TMX I know what this is about, I had a terrible week and let my team down wont happen again" Well you put up 6 points I guess the obvious question is you think DMC is gonna give you a whooping for that. " Come on TMX TOO SOON TOO DAMN SOON, SON. Look I wait for you to call me next week but I'm out this week before you get worse with your jokes. Later. Well that's more like it no hangups.

Week 2 starts Thursday and the waiver wire should  be on fire with tons of injuries to big name players biggest being Dez. Lets hope stars play like stars this week and nobody gets hurt. TMX out.

Kinda sorry

Just so we are all on the same page, I am not on vacation and I didn't forget to blog. My work has blocked the ability to update the blog but I can still read it so it is a bit frustrating. Then my phone wouldn't sync up with because my blogger account is not the same as my Gmail account. Basically it's been a frustrating 2-3 days to say the list.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Bar hopping in Plymouth is a grand time.
2. If you haven't signed up for Uber please sign up today - use 4rirn and you get $20 off your first ride.
3. Julie Nickerson is still searching for a job. Basically she says LinkedIn is your resume.
4. Pulled pork is 100 better smoked than just thrown in a crock pot.
5. Destiny the Taken King just came out and several guys from work took the day off to explore.
6. I love going to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned but man other than that can suck my dick.
7. I love me some fall weather.
8. Jeffrey gets after it at the bar on Sunday's.
9. I almost went #teamiphone on Saturday but I got scared. So I kept my old phone.
10. I think Coke is fucking with Chrissy and moving his schedule around.
11. Is Tooma alive? Haven't heard from him in a hot minute (do people still say that?).
12. As if the Cheesecake Factory needs any more thing on their menu, they have a skinny menu too!! Da fuq.
13. Week one of fantasy football and people are freaking the fuck out. As Aaron Rodgers says RELAX.
14. Still waiting for the Welch house warming party. I've been working on one hell of a warm brie recipe.
15. Waking up to chest crushing heart burn at 2 am is one of the worst things ever.
16. How can they remake Road House? What next Jaws??
17. Who is throwing together an apple picking, hayride taking, cider sipping extravaganza?
18. Has anyone been to the Topsfield fair? I feel like it is something I should have been to at least.
19. When you have a plethora of various hot peppers what do you do? Make some hot sauce of course.
20. Matty Hayes lives for the NFL suicide pool.

I am happy that I got this blog back up. I will keep on working on work arounds. Let's hope TMX comes through with their updates.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Footballs back

Okay after 4 fantasy league drafts and college football this past Saturday,  I am officially in football mode. Thursday can not come fast enough.

This is what I learned over the weekend:
1. You never know what old friends you will run into at the beach.
2. Iggles look forward to Chief Blog Ruiner's posts.
3. Louie's has $.25 wings on Tuesdays.
4. Not to sound callous but how come no one is pointing out that the Red Sox got 100000% better after John Farrell left with his cancer. Everyone is claiming that there is no pressure since they are in last place I say not so fast. Cancer or no cancer Farrell should not keep that job based on performace
5. Staining a fence is a pain in the balls. Staining in general is.
6. Kids now a days are such babies. Crying because they don't get their way, or something doesn't go their way or they are just told no.
7. It was nice to have some Fall weather on Friday and Saturday.
8. The suicide pool is back up. You should of gotten an email to join if not let me know.
9. The Bruins are just effing with me to buy my tickets for the winter classic. I was supposed to be able to buy em Sept 2nd but now its been moved to the 10th.
10. Turkey/Chicken chili is not bad at all.
11. Nothing worse than burning the roof of your mouth.
12. I hope the MacPhails made it back from Seasame Street Land. Haven't heard from Chrissy since Friday night.
13. Grapefruit Shandy is all the rage right now.
14. Those Not your Dads Rootbeers are like straight syrup. Not for me, but thanks.
15. There are only 2 people that watch The Incredible Dr. Pol - Tom Kelly and my wife.
16. So Deflategate is officially over right? I mean I am not going to have to hear about it for another 8 months am I?

Sorry I have to run but I have 512 emails I have to rummage through...