Wednesday, November 30, 2011

12 bars of Xmas

I know some of you are not into playing hockey this Saturday so here is a nice healthy alternative:

The 12 Bars of Christmas by Crawl In Boston

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

A frosty beer just for me.

1:00 – The Harp – 85 Causeway Street

$3.00 Rolling Rock
Complimentary appetizer platter

On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Two friends a-laughing.

1:30 – The Greatest Bar – 262 Friend Street

$3 Rolling Rock bottles, $3 Narragansett cans, $3 Coors light draft

On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Three stout ales.

2:00 – West End Johnnies – 138 Portland Street

$3 Gansett and Coors Drafts

On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Four full glasses.


$3 Late Night Egg Nog…light rum,vanilla shnopps, gingerale

Complimentary appetizer platter

On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Fiiiiive Tasty Shots

3:00 – Paddy O’s – 33 Union Street

$3 Miller Light drafts and Dos XX bottles.

Complimentary appetizer platters.

On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Six bars a crawling

3:30 – Hennessy’s – 25 Union Street

$3 Bud Lite drafts and $3 Shipyard Wheat bottles

Complimentary Appetizer Platters

On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Seven drinks a-swilling.

4:00 – Red Sky – 18 North Street

$3 Rolling Rock
Complimentary Appetizer Platters

Please note: Due to private party we’ll have to leave Red Sky by 6:00

On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Eight drunks a-singing.

4:30 – The Place – 2 Broad Street

$3 Holiday Punch

Complimentary Appetizer Platters

On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Nine bowls a-scorpion.


We know you’ll all get Scorpion Bowls but they have Coors Light ($1.75) as well

On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Ten shots a-downing.


$3 Bud and Bud Light Drafts

On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Eleven pints guzzling.

6:00 – McFadden’s – 148 State Street

$3 PBR, Keystone and High Life
Complimentary appetizer platters

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Twelve bars a crawling.

6:30 – Goodbar – 183 State Street

$2 miller high life and $3 kamikazes

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

TMX week 12 in review

Week 12 is in the books and TMX is here to write about it!!

TMX is a fantasy reporting media COMMITTED TO 60% TRUTH in all our reports. We are reporting from a "safe house" in an undisclosed location due to the AWESOME TIME we had Saturday night (Eddie Pinnette is still hung over) we shut down the SSSC complex for the week. There are 5 weeks left in the season and its as close as its been since week 6!! The Slippery Wizards look to have run out of gas and are losing their grip on first with two perennial top finishers Beach Bums and No Legs aka Skza aka Bring back Mungo aka Street Pharmacist making their move. It was a HUGE monday night with alot of points scored and you could tell it was setting up to be that way when the Saints faked a field goal on their first possession!!! Dillons Villenz pulled out of the basement and are looking to separate from the White Devils they are up 60 and 2-8 are now separated by less than 100 points its anyone's title at this point as Tmx has been saying it only takes one good week to jump back in it BUT hurry we got 5 left!!
This weeks winner is Beach Bums looking for the three peat!! They had a huge night from Drew Brees in Monday night action! Tmx contacted the Beach Bum gm, hey its Tmx big win this week and you're right back in the hunt how's it feel? " its still sore, goddamn Jerkshots and that hammy dance, but I may be able to play we will see."

Uhhm we are talking about the week 12 win in ADSL? What are you talking about? " oh I was talking the Whitley classic hockey game this Saturday. Not real concerned about winning the week, I always win and was only a matter of time before I caught the Slippery Wizards. Anyway I gotta get treatment on my hammy and then I'm going to make several waiver moves just for fun. Thanks for the call" Well winners win so cant really argue with the somewhat arrogant Beach Bums. No panic in that team thats for sure.

Now onto what Tmx is here for TO HELP!

This weeks last place finisher was White Devils the totals are as follows:
Roethelisberger 11
Sjax 8.5
Mendenhall 7
Bowe 9.5
Wallace 2
Finley 4
Crosby 9
Vikes d 8 for a total of 59.

Well its back to back losses for the White Devils a once proud organization that now appears to be falling on hard times. Tmx warned them at the beginning of the season about putting too many players on the same team together and they went out and traded for another Steeler!!! They have a wr, rb and qb from Pittsburgh's not so explosive offense then they have a wr and rb from a chiefs offense with some guy name Plako running the show. Tmx is a big fan of being "all in" but not when the deck is stacked. The Devils also left Fitzy and his 31 points on the bench this week which didnt help. There is time and just as Dillon had a big week to get out of the basement they can do the same but they need to explore the matchups. Tmx called a good friend of ours Rashard Mendenhall. Hey Mendy its Tmx whats up? " ahhh man dont tell me I got traded again? man i've been traded twice already this year what gives?" No,no Mendy your still on the Devils we are just wondering if you can get this ship sailing again? " Oh fo' sure I'm still mad that Ive been traded twice I guarantee we get out of the basement look at who we got coming up cleveland two times and st louis so I hope them Villenz is ready for a dog fight bow wow wiggy fucking wow" UHHHmm ok Mendy sounds like you and the Devils got a plan with this "dog fight " thing. Good luck.

Now onto the All Iggles Team.

QB- R. Fitzpatrick 31pts ( White Devils)
RB- B. Wells 32pts (Tmfntm0
RB- R. Mathews 18.5pts ( Villenz)
WR- R.Wayne 25.5pts (No Legs)
WR- P.Harvin 20pt (Beach Bums)
TE- D. Keller 20pts ( Slippery Wizards)
D- Ravens 26pts ( L8nitemenu)
K- Tony Franklin

Lotta big points left out there for the Iggles this week their total was 173! OUCH!! L8nitemenu gave the Iggles a must start d and the Iggles somehow got Wells, Wayne and Keller to play their best games of the season!! That Iggles they motivate mofos I guess. Well they have all but clinched the most points in the league so all we can hope for is a humbling poor week one of these next 5. There wasnt alot of activity on the waiver wire though we thought Villenz had the pick up of the week with Kevin Smith till the hammy dance took him out so the waiver wire pick up of the week goes to No Legs who picked up Victor Cruz after L8nitemenu dropped him and has found gold. Cruz is out producing high draft pick Nicks and Manningham is hurt but it didnt matter when he was healthy as Eli is in love with Cruz and so should No Legs be!! There were alot of impressive performances Wells and Ravens D for Iggles and the players started who were considered for player of the week were old friend Welker, God Brady, Matty Ice, Benson, Marshawn and Eli among others but this weeks player of the week goes to Drew Brees his 49 points almost singlehandedly beat the Devils this week!! Congrats Drew and Beach bums. Another week of thursday night action so get you players in and some interesting players out there on the waivers to think about. The trade deadline is coming up quick so dont hesitate to pull the trigger alot of teams bailed themselves out with trades this year so that is an option. Hope everyone stays healthy and til next week Tmx is out.

This just in!! Tmx is working to hold the end of the year party at former team Smelchie's new hotel he is running! Thats right William J Smiddy is running a hotel and is possibly going to hook up the league with a huge spread. STAY TUNED...

Monday, November 28, 2011

Where is the snow?

I know we should all be happy that its 60+ degrees for the last week or so but can a brother get a bit of snow?

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Some people, who rock mullets, are in mullet denial. Guess what it's a curly fem-mullet, embrace it.
2. Snickers is the best selling chocolate worldwide, raking in over $2 billion annually.
3. Glidden sells 8 different paint colors specifically for doors; they are not available in all regions. You can get maybe 4.
4. Top left fatso is where you can score on Tofuri. In eye hockey of course.
5. The average person has 200 friends on Face book and 120 followers on Twitter. I am doing okay on FB but my twitter following is only 80 peeps.
6. The bark of a redwood tree is fire resistant.
7. Finding a bar that serves pizza on Thanksgiving night was a 100% bonus to the day. The Jager shots were a surprise.
8. Wendys has a new W burger, kinda like a Big Mac with special sauce.
9. People are starting to smack talk about the Hockey game thats only 6 days away.
10. When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. That shits fast.
11. I still think people are whatever about the NBA coming back.
12. For anyone who had the under on if id be divorced in under a year, thanks for the donation you lost. Now who has under 2 years?
13. The cold dry mornings always make my eyes sting.
14. They may have to do something about Black Friday, with people getting maced and shot and all.
15. Mario hates on
16. Chrissys 1st poker tournament of the year was a success. He raised lots of money for Christmas gifts. He hopes to make it an annual event the day after Thanksgiving.
17. Just as fast as Rio and Big Layden became friends? They broke up.
18. Smiddy is a fast riser in the hotel business. He has moved from a night watchman to a managers program. He wants to run his own hotel.
19. The Honk Kong has not changed one bit.
20. There is only so much leftover turkey one can eat.

I will see some of you at the Annual Street hockey game this Saturday. If you are interested in playing let me know.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

DT on Thanksgiving via the Yahoo

As you know I am always looking for shit to blog about. I take any and all suggestions and I'll try to write about anything at least once.  One of the long time readers sent me this article, so I figured it was time to break out Derek's take...We all remember how this works right? The original article is linked at the top (if you care to read it without my take), then copied and italicized in this blog. Finally each piece is has my take (DT).

Top 6 Tips to Avoid a Thanksgiving Dinner Meltdown

By Elaine Corn

In a perfect world, we would start making food for Thanksgiving on Halloween. In reality, even experienced cooks don't do this. Most of us cook the whole meal on Thanksgiving Day. Ever been in a grocery store on the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving? Point proved.

Completing an entire Thanksgiving meal the day of is certainly reasonable and achievable, even for beginners. Here are six tips to get you going. Some are sure to horrify purists. But heat is heat and flesh is flesh. When they meet in an oven, the bird will cook.

Before we even get to this zany bitches 6 steps to avoid a Thanksgiving disaster lets start with the obvious: No one is thinking about starting to cook for Thanksgiving on Halloween. People have normal day lives that they live and no one on November 1st is starting to stress about cooking one fucking meal. I don't care if the Prince of England was coming by. As far as being at a grocery store the night before Thanksgiving? Are you fucking serious lady? One of the biggest drinking nights of the year and you are out shopping for walnuts and canned yams? You should be stocking up on bottles of Vodka, 30 packs of beer and a few extra bottle of wine for those crazy neighbors who stay too long and want to get their drink on but only on your dime.

1. Go over your recipes the night before.

Know your plan of action. If there's time and you're not too tired, chop onions, celery, and carrots and hold them in the refrigerator in zip bags. Get out the turkey's roasting pan and any baking dishes you haven't used all year. Check them because they might need washing.

(DT) This lady is a real fucking genius. Read your recipes the night before, wash some dishes because you put them away fucking dirty (are you a filthy animal or what?) and cut up all your veggies. This is my step 1. The Tuesday before Thanksgiving make sure you have all that you are going to need for Thursday because Wednesday night you are tieing one on. Its not a Thankgiving without being hungover. If you find that maybe you forgot marshmallows for your sweet potato caserole, ask the wife is she would be a peach and pick some up. If not, pray that you have some year old Fluff kicking around your cabinets. Either way you shouldn't be washing dishes (that should be clean), cutting veggies (that you can do at 9am hungover) or reading no damn Family Circus recipes.

2. Start with a fully defrosted turkey.

None of the information here applies if you've forgotten to defrost your turkey. If you've bought a frozen one the night before, you are in trouble. Yes, you can try sticking a blow dryer up the turkey's cavity, but you will not only create a heated incubator for bacteria in the cavity, you will end up with a gross blow dryer you'll never want to touch again.

If caught short the night before, buy a fresh turkey. If you're so unlucky that fresh turkeys are sold out, but a smallish frozen one -- 10 to 12 pounds. You can defrost it safely -- still wrapped -- in a sink filled with cold water. Change the water every 30 minutes, calibrating one 30-minute soak per pound of turkey. A 10-pound turkey will take about five to six hours to defrost.

(DT) So first she says start cooking on Halloween but then thinks you are going to forget to defrost the turkey? Well which is it lady? Are we preparing all month or are we morons who just found out Thanksgiving is coming? Its pretty much common sense that you defrost anything you are going to cook. I already told you that the day before Thanksgiving is for getting your drink on so theres no running out to buy a fresh turkey(which by the way is more than double the cost per pound, Mrs. Smarty pants doesn't mention that).  My step 2. Listen if you are on a bender, and you didn't buy a turkey or you have a frozen turkey (you don't want to go all Bill Nye the Science guy with water baths and circulatory pumps to change out water; ruining your Turkey Eve boozefest) call up your parents or her parents and tell them you are bring the damn family over for some Thanksgiving family time. Round up the booze, the kids and some fucking apple pies and lets do this. Or always make back up reservations at a restaurant.

3. Tackle the clamp.

Fresh or frozen, the turkey's drumsticks are constrained for shipping by the meanest thing in cooking -- the clamp. Whether metal or plastic, the bird comes with no directions on how to free the drumsticks. You've got to open the cavity to remove the giblets. In my struggles to remove the clamp, I've drawn blood. That's because, at least with the metal ones, the maneuver is counter-intuitive.

Metal clamp: With a towel, pull the upside-down "U" toward you. With your other hand, find the strength to lift the loosest drumstick up, over and out of the clamp. Once the first drumstick is free, the second one will come over and out easily. But the clamp is still in the bird! Squeeze its sides in, and push it away from you. It will slide out.

Plastic clamp: Snip it with scissors, free the drumsticks, reach in and remove the bag of giblets.

(DT) Basically in order to remove the clamps holding the legs together you need to use the Pythagorean Theorem? My step 3. Its either a piece of plastic that you can clip with scissors or its a piece of aluminum that you can clip with fucking scissors! There's no fancy two handed U shaped pull over under leg restraint removal while using a towel maneuver. Plus if you are using algebra to remove a leg clamp and do  two handed moves how can you be holding your drank?

4. Always use a meat thermometer.

Turkeys are tricky. The breast meat cooks first, but it's still attached to the bird while it waits for the dark meat to finish. White meat is ready at 170 F, dark meat at 175 to 180 F. To take a reading, insert it in the dark meat, which takes the longest to cook. Newer digital thermometers stay in the turkey for the entire roasting time and beep when the set temperature is reached.

A 10- to 14-pound turkey should be cooked at 350 F for 2 to 2½ hours. A 14- to 18-pound bird should cook at 325 F for 2½ to 3½ hours.

If you don't have a meat thermometer, here's the old-fashioned method. Gently pull a drumstick (use a towel to hold on) away from the body. Where the skin has stretched, use a small knife to make a cut to expose the meat. Take a look. If you see red juices or pink meat, keep roasting. Check for doneness at 15-minute intervals until juices run clear. I like this method because no one will see the cut.

(DT) You know me, I am old school. I don't own a fancy meat thermometer. It is 2011 though and don't all turkeys come with those little red pop up plastic timers? As far as the "old-fashioned method" this lady proposes; I plan to be wayyyyy to drunk for that(and again with the fucking towel) Here is my step 4. Preheat the oven to 350 F and make yourself a bloody mary. While the oven is heating up munch on the celery and olives in your drink - not only are you drinking but you are eating your breakfast. All meats, whether it's chicken, turkey, beef, pork or duck take about 20 minutes a pound. I have no idea where this ding bat of a woman thinks you can cook a 15 lb turkey in 3.5 hours. No wonder she has pink meat. It is not rocket science. 20 minutes a pound for 15 pounds would be 5 hours. Why do you think our parents would wake up at the ass crack of dawn to cook a turkey. Because the shit takes time.

5. After the turkey has roasted an hour, add about 2 cups of water to the bottom of the pan.

This is the beginning of your gravy or natural pan juices.

(DT) I have no idea why we are waiting  an hour to put the water on the bottom of the pan. My step 5. Place the turkey on a rack in the bottom of the roasting pan, this way the turkey is raised up and isnt boiling and stewing away in the water. Then again I use chicken stock and not water. I want my gravy to be tasty not watered down. Since the turkey has moved into the pan and heading for the oven; it is time to move on from Bloody Marys and onto vodka tonics. If you haven't peeled your potatoes, carrots, sweet potatoes and made the green been caserole now is the time to start. The bird is in the oven and we have nothing but time to work on our buzz and the sides.

6. If, after carving, parts are undercooked, microwave them for a minute or two.

No one will know.

(DT) Now I know why she wants you to start cooking right after Halloween, this bitch don't know how to cook. Microwave your turkey? How ghetto is that?  My Step 6. when the turkey finally comes out of the oven and rests under aluminum foil for 20 minutes you should be pretty well on your way to being bombed so anything will taste awesome. The gravy should be plentiful, tasty and not watery (since we used stock) so if your bird is a little bit on the dry side bury it with the brown stuff.

When the meal is over you should be killing off bottles of wine, polishing off 30 packs and laughing it up with friends and family.

When it is all said and done no one is going to remember if the turkey was dry or the mashed potatoes were lumpy. They will remember how hungover they were, how hard they laughed and who won the football game.

TMX week 11 review

Tmx week 11 is review is in!!
TMX is a fantasy reporting agency committed to 65% TRUTH in all its reports! We are no longer associated with the 9th ranked website on the www's do so some "suspect" reporting. C'est la vie as we say at Tmx the show must go on!! Tmx is reporting this week from a remote location as the SSSC complex was shut down do to major renovations. A new entrance was placed along with a moat to keep out rift-raft as it was starting to get hectic on Sundays, a well needed addition the guard dog (king Ronin) had gotten lax so the complex stepped it up.

There are 6 weeks left in the season and the byes are done so its all systems go. Tmx recieved this text from a member of league " look i dont care if i win i just hope the Slippery Wizards crash and when i say crash i'm talking Dale Earnhardt type crash" EEEEK apparently no one wants the table run by the Slipperys. Tmx did contact ML enterprises as there was a rumor he was being groomed as the new GM of the Wizards " look i'm not taking on that sinking ship and I'll never be associated with that name. NO WAY NO HOW" Well Wizards guess you are on your own and being hunted. The race is as tight as its been. No Legs, Beach Bums, Hoodsie ,Tmfntm, L8nite and Sflabohfrw all closing fast and Jerkshots hitting a rough patch with Welker slowing down there's and 80pt difference from 2-8 and the last place teams are going toe to toe for the dress separated by under 20pts!

The injury bug is still "dancing" around taking out Shonn Greene, AP, Jennings, Fjax, Cutler, Desean Jax and Gronk among others to add to the list of already players already out. The winner this week COMING IN HOT was I Have No Legs. We tried to contact the GM of No Legs but he is "in between phones" at the moment, Tmx has no idea what that means so we did contact old friend Aaron Rodgers of team No Legs. Hey Aaron whats good its Tmx. "Hey Tmx how are you still reporting fantasy news? Love your stuff" Thanks Aaron great season so far, is any of this due to the fact that you weren't the number one overall pick or even top qb picked? " aww well you know sometimes guys like to take running backs and Brady and Brees always put up big numbers so just being considered up there is fine with me I'm just trying to produce each week" Yeah but how about Mike Vick being taken over you as number one over all? " what? WHAT? You shitting me Tmx? Vick? Whats he ever done? He's a poor man's Randall Cunningham. Oh its on! Jordy, Jennings, Finley lets go do some extra reps we gotta make this league PAY, hell wake up Donnie Driver we will make him a star again too, I'm out Tmx" Oh boy now we got a mad Rodgers on our hands.

Now what Tmx is here for TO HELP. This weeks last place finisher was White Devils the numbers are as follows:
Fitzy 5pts
J.Battle 3.5pts
Sjax 6.5pts
D.Bowe 11.5pts
J.Jones ZERO
Finley 5pts
Chiefs D- 7
for a dismal total of 42pts!

The good news is even with this total the Devils didnt slide into last place as Villenz missed a golden bye week opportunity. The Devils have several players on bye and now should be set for the final stretch to hold off the dress wearing. The obvious reason for this performance is lack of waiver wire moves by the Devils. They havent made a waiver move since losing J. Charles earlier in the season. They are former champs and know that you have to do some effort and work the wire and havent done that. Michael Bush, Reggie Bush, Cam Newton, Laurent Robinson, Demarco Murray, all types of bye week replacement Defenses all have gone by the Devils so if they are refusing to spend this is what they get. We did call the one guy they have picked up Jackie Battle. Hey Jackie its Tmx whats good? "Tmx for real? Oh man this is J-Batts oh man I never thought I'd hear from you, I'm sharing carries with old man Jones and Mccluster.  J-Batts is happy to take this call did someone pick me up for bench help?" Uhm no Mr. Battle you're starting on a team and do you realize you gave yourself a nickname and are referring to yourself in the third person? "starting on a team? J-Batts can't believe it I put up 3.5 points thats cool tho right? Oh and J-Batts gotta go tell his friends Tmx called OUT!" Well if Jackie Battle doesnt know why he starting that should tell you something. Good luck Jackie and Devils hope you figure this out.

Now onto the All Iggles Team. First former All Iggles first teamer Cam Newton is no longer on All Iggles after the trade and is now replaced by Tony Gonzalez a regular here always on Iggles or the next tight end to be. Trade offers should be flying to Sflabo to keep this guy off the Iggles here's this weeks team:

QB- J.Cutler 28pts ( Jerkshots)
RB- L. Blount 21.5pts (Beach Bums)
RB-C.Benson 16pts ( No legs)
WR- P.Harvin 18pts ( Beach Bums)
WR- V. Cruz 26pts ( No Legs)
TE- T. Gonzalez 15.5pts ( SFlabohfrw)
D- Raiders 19pts ( Villenz)

This weeks total was 144 which is pretty good considering the bye weeks are done and now the Iggles are going to have more players to choose from. Lets try and hold them under a 100 cuz various reports have Iggles running around his old haunts like Cappys bragging how he's dominating the league he's not even in tellin people to "figure it out". This weeks pickup of the week was team Hoodsie's Pats D! A bold pickup but a must have for monday night action. Hoodsie is making power moves on the wire and making a real push for the top despite not having won a week yet!! The player of the week had alot of contenders some of the usual suspects like Ray Rice, Rodgers, Gronk, Vjax, Stafford, Pats D, and even K. Winslow made a push but we gave the player of the week to Jordy Nelson. Jordy had a great day and was finally giving the starting nod after weeks of in and out roster moves by team No Legs. Good work playing him and great work performing Jordy. Lets hope everyone gets healthy and stays that way for the final 6 weeks. Happy Thanksgiving and see you next week. Tmx out...............and to those that do the hammy dance be careful it comes back around.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Turkey Time

Everyone knows that turkey day is my favorite holiday. I love me some good old fashion turkey and mashed with all the fixings. Plus now there are 3 NFL games on the schedule.

Lets see what I learned this weekend:

1. Mungo is a pretty good carpenter(albiet a bit of a perfectionist).
2. Boston Latin vs Boston English is the oldest continuous high school rivalry football game. Dating back to 1887.
3. Straight Bud heavies are not for me.
4. Anyone need a 32 inch hard wood door? It only weighs about 100 lbs.
5. I had no idea that vinyl siding was so expensive.
6. Wolfies in Southie has some pretty good food.
7. Smiddy is working at the Fairmont Copley Hotel.
8. Humans aren't the only ones who preform oral sex. Cheetahs, hyenas, and goats all go down...FUCKING GOATS KNOW HOW TO PARTY!!
9. Chrissy is going to host a card game this Friday if anyone is interested.
10. The Junction still has 50% off all food. Stop down for a bucket and some grub.
11. Steak and cheese with bacon is the dopest shit!
12. Name that tune bad karaoke cover band is a great game to play at the bar with friends.
13. I think Rio and Layden just became best friends.
14. Always be on the lookout for Mikey T coming in hot.
15. Mitchell is still living the dream. Her flag football team won the super bowl. Pretty sure thats the closest to any balls, most of the ladies on that team will be coming close to.
16. The state is auctioning off found items in safety deposit boxes:
17. My 1 year anniversary is coming up this week. According to Cheifdude its some sort of paper gift. Who the hell makes up theses rules?
18. Mungo is trying to get father of the year award in 2011. How else do you explain back to back weekends watching the baby.

 I hope everyone has a healthy and happy Thanksgiving.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Someone forwarded me this email...

Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as Holiday

Trees for the first time this year which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein,

to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it

applies just as much to many countries as it does to America .

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS

Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And

it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful

lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I

don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to

me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a

ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and

sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all

that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach

house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is

the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't

think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think

people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around,

period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an

explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I

don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from

that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God ?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us

who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America

we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this

is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny,

it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane

Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?'

(regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and

insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this,

just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our

schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And

being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we

expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave

us alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings,

etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered,

her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our

schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible

in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and

love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when

they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we

might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We

said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why

they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill

strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure

it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why

the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say,

but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through

e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages

regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd,

crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but

public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to

many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or

what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of

us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it.... no one will know you did. But, if

you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what

bad shape the world is in.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

TMX week 10

WEEK 10 has come and gone and Tmx is here with the recap on location not from the SSSC complex though Eddie Pinnette and the boys were there for cornbeef and cabbage! Tmx is a fantasy reporting agency COMMITTED to 70% truth in all reports which is more than your local paper. Week 10 was filled with injuries some of which were possibly season ending! We also had the Slippery Wizards trading away the face of their franchise Killah Cam Newton in a desperate move to aquire a rb and settled for Marshawn Lynch from Sflabohfrw. Its the last week of the byes coming up but many teams facing rb injuries and byes were sent scrambling to the waiver wire and trades. This is the closest fantasy in years!! Tmx researched the numbers and found 1st is up only 128 and 2nd and 8th separated by 61pt, 8th and 9th 53 and 9th and dress wearer by 51!! The difference is one bad week by the leader and a good week by the team trailing!! Anything can happen. Perfect example this week saw Tmfntm move up from 8th to 4th!! Tmfntm were this weeks winning team and we contacted him apparently in the midst of a celebration. Hey Tmfntm its Tmx big win this week. "Tmx!!! Great to hear from you this is our first win in TWO YEARS we are celebrating in our war room and ready to make a move. Devin Hester pass the 40 as in the 40 points chicago d put up!! hahah you get it TMX? 40? like the 40oz but i'm talking 40pts? pretty witty you guys need a writer? Your shit's been kinda stale I could spice it up? hahhaaa 40!!" Uhhm no Tmfntm think we are good we are just trying to help seems like your in good spirits though with your team finally producing like CJ hitting stride? " oh yeah but over at Tmfntm we are just enjoying this win with some "spirits" see there I go again. Comedic genius? See what i did there? You said spirits and I used it. You sure you dont need a writer? Which way off the stage?" Uhhhm well good to see Tmfntm are back and wont be working for Tmx anytime soon. Stay healthy Tmfntm and leave the jokes to Tmx.

Now onto to what we are here to do TO HELP. This weeks last place finisher was are old friends Dillons Villenz the totals are as follows:
Manning 25pts
Mathews 6.5pts
Mccoy 16.5pts
Green 9.5pts
S.Johnson 1pt
F.Davis 3.5pts
S.Suisham 6pts
Giants D 8 pts for a total of 76pts.
Tmx researched the numbers and found that his bench scored 89pts!! That would have been good enough to finish the week in 8th place! That tells Tmx that Villenz has the players but doesnt want to play them? It may be time to contact a GM? Iggles is out of work, as is Smiddawg (617-632-3296) some effort has to be made if Villenz current ownership isnt getting the players in who need to be. Tmx suggested a trade and it worked then to control the waiver wire which he has not mastered. In our years of reporting the only way to make your way up is to get players that are hot off the wire since you have first pick. One week you use it for a kicker and this week for a wr when both weeks people were rb STARVED? This situation is starting to get creepy as in Villenz WANTS to wear a dress?

Tmx did have reports that Villenz snickered at last years dress wearer calling it "frumpy, like a sloppy old lady real Mrs Doubtfire-like" Tmx didnt report it then as Tmx thought it was a just an off the cuff remark but now we arent so sure. Tmx made a call to Villenz and he stated "we have NO COMMENT" Tmx can only hope he is working on making a move and starting the right players before the league takes his team away for failure to run a legit operation!! The situation is salvagable he's only down 51 but he needs to stop ending up on the Tmx report EVERY week unless its for player or pickup of the week!! Tmx is trying to right this ship but we arent so sure Villenz is. Lets get this thing rolling and give us someone else to help Villenz!! Pretty sure thats why Tmfntm is trying to get a job as a writer over here!! Good luck this week Villenz.

Now onto the All Iggles Team:

QB- M. Ryan 29pts (L8nite Menu)
RB- C. Johnson 30pts( Tmfntm)
RB-M. Lynch 28.5pts(Sflabohfrw)
WR-J. Nelson 20.5 (No legs)
WR- L. Robinson 20.5(Sflabohfrw)
TE- T. Gonzalez 16pts(Sflabohfrw)
Def- Titans 25pt(Sflabohfrw)
K- Tony Franklin

This week the All Iggles Team was taken over by Sflabos!!! Didnt know Sflabo loved the Iggles that much but he put 4 of the 7 members on there!! The Iggles came through with 149 points this week and is in the last week of byes!! They look unstoppable! All the injuries around the league and rb's putting up under 5 points on alot of teams has not seemed to effect our not so beloved Iggles!! Here's hoping the league members will step up and stop this monster from putting up big numbers!! This week's pickups of the week had running backs tate and helu as well as the the Jacksonville D up for contention but its is going to an All Iggles team member Laurent Robinson!! Great pick up but probably should have started him!! Cant let this happen but at least the Sflabo's made the move to pick the player up!

The player of the week honors had as candidates the usual Rodgers, Foster, old friend Fitzy, any rb L8nite Menu started-Bush, Murray, benched CJ and Gronk all had great weeks but the player of the week honors goes to the Chicago D! The Chicago D scored 3tds and put up a 40 burger!! Making it more impressive was they were going up against a talented Detroit offense and was a tough choice to start but Tmfntm started them and reaped the benefits!! Congrats Tmfntm!! Week 11 is here fast starting on Thursday so lets hope everyone is healthy and ready the final push for the top is coming. Til next week stay healthy ALMOST no-one likes injuries Tmx is out.

The Hammy Dance:

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Holy cow

Are the RedSox fucking serious right now? $3700 for 3 seats on the monster for one game? I dotn care if  comes with a shirt and a signed ball. It should come with Heidi Watney giving head!

Monday, November 14, 2011

The Pats are winning

I know Smiddy and CVG have killed the ozone with their aerosol spray deodorant but 60 degrees on November 14th is down right crazy. I am not complaining just pointing out that its been a pretty warm month over all.

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. No matter how you say it, Burberry or Burbury, a $200 tie is down right expensive.
2. If you are in the Home Depot you should not be walking around holding hands. For fuck sakes its a home improvement store not an orphanage for  under privileged children.
3. The letter "W" is the only letter in the alphabet that doesn't have just one syllable it has 3.
4. Octopus die after they mate. Poor guys get their nut off and then get offed!
5. Shopping for living room furniture is more time consuming that I would of thought.
6. Just for size comparisons Boston has 1,825 taxi licenses while NYC has 13,237.
7. The UFC on Fox was better than I expected even though the fight lasted only 1 minute 4 seconds.
8. Chrissy is officially past the half way mark of rocking a mustache for a year. I can't wait till there are Christmas photos of him and his family opening up gifts while he looks on creepily with a stache. How does that conversation go in 15 years from now..."uhm dad is that a mustache"? "Yup, now where are your little whore friends"?
9. Siberia makes up 10% of the earth surface.
10. Sometimes you have to let a bunch of little projects pile up and then you bang them all out at once.
11. Andre Carter is a beast.
12. Check out Puck Fiction on youtube.
13. Seems like the Bruins have righted their early season woes. At least thats what I can see from all the fans jumping on and off and back on the band wagon.
14. Is Mark Sanchez still the Sanchise? I mean can he throw the ball more than 10-15 yards?
15. Wait Jack and Jill was #2 at the box office this past weekend? Who the fuck is going to see that? I think we should line everyone up who purchased tickets and punch them in the junk.
16. Everyone wants to bitch about Lucic's hit on Ryan Miller but what about Miller's two hand swing with his stick at Lucic's legs?
17. Who doesn't love Bill Bellicheck quote after the game - "Thirty-seven points of the best defense in the league, suck my dick"?
18. Mitchell will text at all hours of the day and night looking for someone to booze with.

Hope everyone has a good week. Remember if you have anything that you think is blog worthy or you have any suggestions, send em my way.

Also a few guys and I are headed up to Portland, Maine this weekend to visit with a friend. Anyone know any good bars, restraunts or anything fun to do up there?

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Boogie Down Brockton

Washpost - Even on Memorial Day, when the nation stops to honor and remember the fallen men and women in uniform who served in wars past and present, it is easy for the U.S. military to remain an abstraction. The troops toil at distant bases and fight far-away battles, becoming real to their fellow citizens mainly when they lug giant rucksacks through America’s airports at the beginning and end of their leaves

As a military reporter, I’ve had the chance to see them as they really are, in those odd moments between boredom and heroism, when they’re waiting for a helicopter, killing time on outposts or starting to bump down a road that may or may not be laden with explosives.

I witnessed one such snapshot last month, as I sat on one of the last U.S. helicopters preparing to fly into eastern Afghanistan’s violent Korengal Valley. American commanders were only a few weeks away from shutting down the base there, ending a bloody five-year stalemate with the Taliban.

It was just after 9 p.m., and streaks of lightning flashed against the black sky. Fifteen minutes passed. The copter was grounded. It was then that two of the soldiers from the 4th Brigade of the Army’s 4th Infantry Division launched into a profanity-laced argument over a burning question:

Is Connecticut in New England?

The first soldier gamely insisted that Connecticut couldn’t possibly be part of New England because everyone from Connecticut cheers for New York sports teams: the Giants, the Jets, the Mets, the Yankees, etc.

“Do you even [expletive] know where Connecticut is?” the other soldier demanded. “I mean, could you even find it on an [expletive] map?” The first soldier didn’t answer. It was pretty obvious to all that he couldn’t find Connecticut on an [expletive] map. Instead he reeled off the states that he thought were in New England: Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine and Rhode Island.

A third voice from the darkness suggested that Long Island is also in New England. But the first two soldiers — both from Boston — told him to shut up, because Long Island is definitely in New York, and New York is not on anybody’s New England list.

The lightning kept flashing. Still grounded. In about 90 minutes the moon would rise and illuminate the sky, making it far too easy for whoever shot the Chinook last time to hit it again.

The soldiers’ geography debate shifted to another topic: whether Brockton, Mass., is more dangerous than the Korengal Valley, where more than 40 U.S. troops had died over the past five years. One of the New England soldiers insisted that five of his relatives had been killed in Brockton, so he was pretty sure it was more dangerous than the Korengal.

So there we have it Oakland, LA, Compton, Detroit ain't got SHIT on the Boogie Down. When a city is compared to the Korengal Valley Afganistan regarded as the most dangerous place on Earth by U.S. combat soliders you know shit just got real son lock your doors while driving through the Boogie Down.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

TMX week 9

Live from the SSSC complex its Tmx with the Week 9 review!!

Tmx is a fantasy reporting media outlet COMMITTED to 74% truth in all reports!! This week we had several suprise visits at the SSSC complex. Team owner of No Legs showed up as well as former Team Mungo owner. Awkward moment when Slippery Wizards owner asked team Mungo why he never got back to him on the GM job opportunity. Apparently, he sees the sliding of the Wizards who are the equivelent of wrestling great Ravishing Rick Rude at this moment, walked in first three weeks cut the music and strutted around but now is in a world of hurt and in danger of being caught by several teams. The Villenz are 39pts out of beer bitch and the rest of the league is bunched up making the push toward the top. There are no byes this week and only one more bye week next week and its full tilt!! Another block buster trade was made as L8nite menu finally worked his magic and got a premier rb that he needed who actually led his team in scoring this week. People are still working the waiver wires and trying to make trades to make that final push. We also learned the value of the REFRESH BUTTON at the complex.

This weeks winner is BeachBums who got a big week from Vincent Jackson and is starting to put it together. The Jerkshots possible too worried rooting for hammmmmys had a chance to win the week but got 0 from a wr while a stud wr was on the bench racking up points for the iggles. Tmx made an attempt to contact BeachBums BUT since being a back to back champion he no longer responds to interviews. It was all so different when he was Nacho Papa but when you're the champ you have that right and Tmx aint mad at cha. Now for what Tmx is here for TO HELP.
This weeks last place team was Dillons Villenz the totals are as follows:
Manning 21pts
Mccoy 19.5pts
Thomas 1pt
A.J Green 11.5pts
Lloyd 10.5pts
Davis 6pts
Suisham 8 pts
Raiders D 2pts for a total of 79.5.

The good news for Villenz is somehow they were able to follow Tmx advice and get some trades and actually win 2 weeks the bad news is this is the FOURTH time they've come in last. Going into last week he had some injury concerns at rb and te but being in last the waiver wire is your best friend apparently Villenz doesnt want any friends. The way out of last after making roster trades is to dominate the waiver wire and Villenz refused such pickups as Tolbert, Cruz, Jacobs and Celek all of whom could have helped your team. Also Tmx has an insider who said you were told to go out and get Reggie Bush after failing to grab any of the above, which you also refused. It seems to Tmx a quote from the movie Airplane applies "chump dont want no help, chump dont get no help." You had the number one spot on the waiver wire and you used it to get a kicker by the name of Shaun Suisham which another Tmx insider said you pick up cuz he has the same first name as you? Tmx can respect that but the best player on your team this year has been Seabass who played and you decide to grab a kicker ? In fairness your kicker did outscore your defense and rb but thats beside the point.
Tmx could preach about the waiver wire and controlling it to get yourself out of the basement but Tmx has done enough. WAIVER WIRE. Its that simple grab the best players there and if you are stacked at that position still grab the best player and swing a deal. Tmx although winded from the waiver wire lecture still made a call to Shaun Suisham. Hey Shaun its Tmx whats up? "Tm who?" Tmx a fantasy reporting media loosely associated with Ring a bell? " oh fantasy, wow. I have fantasies all the time about being a real kicker like maybe Sebastian Janinkowski, man he can kick the ball and is a party machine" Uhm Shaun Tmx is calling to ask how you feel about being the first guy taking off the waiver wire this week? "wait what? is this a 34 person league or something? who's this guys other kicker? this is a joke isnt it? Nice try!! Linemen always prank calling me!! I'm out I'm gonna go pretend I'm Seabass on the practice field" CLICK. Well there you have it. Suisham is in disbelief too. Well, VIllenz you've bounced back before lets hope you swing a deal or control the waiver wire this week. Good Luck.

Now onto the ALL IGGLES TEAM:

QB- T. Tebow 32pts ( TMFNTM)
RB- W. McGahee 33pts ( Beach Bums)
RB- M. Lynch 24.5pts( SFLABOHFRW)
WR- B.Marshall 25pts ( Jerkshots)
WR- J. Nelson 23.5pts( No Legs)
TE- Ballard 14pts (Tmfntm)
D- Packers 20pts ( Beach Bums)
K- Tony Franklin

Big week for the All Iggles this week putting together a total of 172. Tmfntm and Beach Bums big contributors to the Iggles this week! The Iggles did better than Tmx would have thought through the bye weeks but once again we had a team play a zero and donate heavily to the Iggles. Tmx's doesnt have the memory it used to but wasnt the Iggles one of the most hated teams in the history of ADSL yet now people are benching stars to make his team? Just crazy how it works and opens up the discussion for an Iggles return!! Lets see what next week holds with no byes and serveral teams with injuries to work through!! Iggles has yet to be the last place team in any week lets get it together!!

This weeks pick up of the week had many options, L8nite Menu did pick Michael Bush two weeks ago ( raiders on a bye last week) so we counted him in the mix along with Victor Cruz, Brandon Jacobs, Brent Celek but the pick up of the week is none other than HEY HEY HEY its Mike Tobert (sorry Slippery Wizards). Everyone's consensus number one waiver wire pick up came through as expected. Dropping a respectable 21pts from the rb position that alot of players are in need of. Good Job Tmfntm for using the wire.

This weeks player of the week honor had plenty of options suprising Carson Palmer, breakout from V-jax, Rivers finally coming through, typical dominance from Rodgers, newly aquired Demarco,but as is usually the case the Tmx player of the week goes to the guy who came out of nowhere and got it done in a big way. Julio Jones come get your award!! The rookie was started and came through with 34.5pts on only 3 catches. Well done Julio. Well we are in the final stretch of the season pass the half way point with only one more bye week. The races are getting tight and the fun is about to begin. The week starts on Thursday so get your lineups set and get your trade offers out and dont forget to hit the REFRESH. Tmx is done til next week good luck and lets hope for no injuries this week.(except Jerkshots and Sflabo who have a fondness for stars getting injured) Good luck to all.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Only 2 months left

Not that I am counting down but my 34th birthday is only 50 days away.  You can all start saving now.

Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. Only 1 in 20 children are born on the day predicted by the doctor.
2. Being woken up at 2:11 am by your fire alarm is not fun and down right scary.
3. Its always tough being a dog:

4. Wahlburgers is pretty damn good but their "Wahl Sauce" is just siracha mayonaise. Didn't want to ruin it for ya but I just wanted ya to know.
5. Mario is one hell of a worker bee. The kids motor does not stop. (Doesn't matter if he was union or not, the kid doesn't take breaks).
6. Finally got my Coke 2011 Stanley Cup Champions, 8 oz bottles:

7. Apparently I am needed to play Santa on Christmas eve.
8. My brothers are surprised by the fact that I put corn in my meatloaf.
9. Its god damn expensive for a family health care plan.
10. Insulating a crawl space moves a whole lot faster than you would think, as long as you have good team work.
11. Hearing anyone say "Holy Cow" is surprisingly funny just because they mean it.
12. Jerry Seinfield used to use the word "FUCK" one time in his act but figured he could go without it.
13. Welchie never quit anything in his life, except his last job.
14. I am trying to get more people to use blip on their cell  phone. Some people are into it and some are not.
15. Brian Folan is the biggest Tim Tebow fan this side of the Mississippi.
16. The new microwave popcorn bowl/bags are a pain in the ass to open and eat out of.
17. I can't believe Dunkin Donuts sells Keurig's now.
18. Chrissy is going to be coming out of retirement to blog again.

Till next week bitches!

Friday, November 4, 2011

10 ways having a dog has prepared me for a baby

10 ways having a dog has prepared me for a baby

1. Dogs provide you with plenty of middle-of-the-night surprises...

...just like babies. I can recall many a time being woken up to dog puke in the middle of the night...good practice for those random wake-ups a baby will bring.

2. Both are adorably perfect for plastering on social networking sites

My dog has blinded me into thinking that every little thing she does is cute enough to post on Facebook. I've gotten better, but I'm sure the same will happen when I have a baby. If I start posting about nap schedules and the consistency of poopy diapers, please host an intervention.

3. Both dogs and babies adore you and completely depend on you

Despite the fact that my dog can eat on her own, she still needs me to buy her food and serve it to her. Despite the fact that she's completely potty trained, she still relies on me to pick up on her cues and to actually let her out to go do her thing. All of her basic needs must be met by me, just like a baby. The bonus is that babies and dogs completely adore you and love you more than anything else in the world.

4. Dogs, like babies, are an instant conversation starter...

...and both solicit unwanted advice from strangers. When you have a dog, other people with dogs (or without) want to come up and ask you 20 questions about it ("What's her name?", "How old is she?", "How did you get her to do that?"). Same goes for babies - I would imagine play group conversations start up quite similarly ("What's her name?", "How old is she?", "How did you get her to do that?"). Perhaps having a dog has been slight preparation for the unwanted advice from strangers I'm sure to get as a parent, because I've definitely gotten plenty of unwanted doggy parenting advice already.

5. They're both cute and cuddly

Both are so adorable! Can I just quit work and snuggle with you all day?

6. Babies and dogs both require grooming

Like babies, dogs require washing, brushing, cleaning, etc... Basic, but true.

7. Both will embarrass you in public with bad behavior at some point

8. You sometimes have to forego plans when they aren't allowed at an event or location

Sometimes dogs just aren't allowed into places, so you have to change your plans or work around it. You can't take a dog to the movies. You can't take them to your friend's house if they happen to be allergic. You can't take them to a fancy restaurant. Same goes for babies...and actually all of the same locations (babies at the movies can be disasters and I know plenty of people that are also "allergic" to babies...often those allergic to babies also tend to frequent said fancy restaurants).

9. You have to anticipate their messes and keep things out of their reach

Every time I leave the house I have to take out the garbage. It's the one thing that my otherwise ridiculously well-behaved dog can't resist. I'm pretty sure garbage is like doggy-crack. This is kind of like baby proofing your house, or keeping messy things out of your baby's reach. It must be done - unless you really like cleaning up messes.

10. You love being with them and can't stand being away from them for too long

If you think owning a dog is going to prepare you for having a Baby your a God Damn Idiot and deserve all the surprises that come with being a parent. I have two boys and a 17 month old Boxer the dog is way more easier.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


Just a friendly reminder that it is now Movember.  
There are rumors that the ladies are now throwing their rings into the hat with a "No Shave November". I do not know if this is support, boycott or spite to spite Movemeber. Either way bring back the 70's bush!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

This is Peggy

TMX week 8

Tmx is back after a wild week 8!!

Tmx is a fantasy reporting media COMMITTED to 78% truth in all our reports also loosely affiliated with the number 9 ranked reporting media on the internet.

Coming to you LIVE from the SSSC complex where hammy songs, tebowing, SECOND DOOOOOOWN, Eddie Pinnette and great food are alive and well. This week in ADSL was one of the wildest ones yet! We had defenses scoring over 20pts all over the place and THREE starters who registered ZERO points and one who could only manage 0.5. There is alot of rumblings coming from the cellar as the two last place teams are fighting to get out finishing first and second this week. Tmfntm has to be looking over his shoulder while screaming at potential busts Chris Johnson and Tony Romo! The Slippery Wizards face their toughest week to date with DMC injured and co-mvps of their team Killah Cam and Megatron on byes this week they seem destined to lose their grip on first. The Saints offense let alot of players down this week as did the Pats to tighten this up in the middle of the pack. The last two bye weeks are coming and the waiver wire is extremely active.

There were numerous trade rumors including one that was squashed at the last minute that had Jerkshots getting greatest tight end in Nfl history Tony Gonzalez as well as Lynch for a bye week replacement Pierre Thomas who is not a Jerkshots starter, reason given Jerkshots dont trade with people ahead of him. Tmx is not here to judge their reasons we just report. This weeks winners were Dillons Villenz who was able to hold of the Devils on Monday night by 2.5 points despite Mathews going down with a hammy!! The devils have put up an impressive 286pts last two weeks but the Villenz got the win this week making them a two time winner. We contacted the frugal owner and his only quote was " glad I dont have to worry about transaction fees and hope I dont have to use the money on a dress" Now on to what Tmx is here for: TO HELP.

This weeks last place finisher was I Have No Legs the totals are as follows:
Flacco 16pts
Benson 0pts
Hardesty 0pts
Boldin 22.5pts
N. Washington 17pts
Daniels 8pts
Rackers 6pts
49ers D 16pts for a respectable total of 85.5 pts.

Tmx did extensive research and used all its resources to come up with a way to help No Legs. First we suggest a name change. It seems your team is taking on the identity of NO LEGS. I mean you got a total of ZERO from your running backs what did you expect NO LEGS? Second if you knew your rbs were hurt or suspended you should have reached out and made a trade to get in some players. A little misconception at ADSL is that its a no trade league unless you work with the person you trade with. This is totally false. You can trade with anyone in the league. Just a friendly FYI. Team No Legs did manage to put up 85 points with his top guns on a bye so not much more can be said as the damage is already done. We did however call old Tmx friend Cedric Benson to see what's going on. Hey Ced its Tmx remember us? "Hey TMX whats good? just chilling on my boat, THE MAN suspended me for some bs charges, oh well, whats up? They suspending me again Tmx?" Nah we are just calling to let you know you were started this week. "haha well you let No Legs know i'm coming back and I'm gonna run harder than ever not just for No Legs but to let the Wizards and Hoodsie know that neither of them called me when THE MAN suspended me. I"m a man on a mission now!!!" Wow sounds like No Legs may have a huge week ahead!!!

Now on to this weeks All Iggles team:

QB- Cam Newton 32pts ( Slippery Wizards)
RB- B. Wells 14pts ( Tmfntm)
RB- P. Thomas 11pts (Jerkshots)
WR- M. Floyd 17.5pts( Devils)
WR- S. Rice 18.5pts( Sflabohfrw)
TE- G. Olsen 15pts ( Beach Bums)
D- Detroit 38pts ( Hoodsie)
K- T. Franklin

The All Iggles team bounced back in a big way this week for a 146 total!! The bye week didnt seem to hurt the Iggles especially with the Slippery Wizards once again giving the Iggles big points. Tmx didnt check the figures but we think if he started Newton instead of Brady he may have pulled off the week. Guess his love for All Iggles is apparent. Team Hoodsie gave the Iggles a huge 38 point performance from the Detroit D that I'm sure they loved. Somehow the league was able to start players with zero points and bench some with 30! Lets clean this up and shut down the All Iggles they are turning into a dream team. Now onto this weeks player of the week.

Before we announce the Tmx player of the week we want to bring in the PICK UP OF THE WEEK. Bye weeks are forcing people to make moves and there were quite a few notable ones like Anotonio Brown and Reggie Bush but the pick up of the week goes to Sflabo for the Tenn D pickup that brought him 20 points!!! No off weeks on the waiver wire people!!

This weeks player of the week had alot of competition Sjax, Ray Rice, Bengals D, Bills D, Manning's little brother, Shady Mccoy seems alot of stars did their thing but Tmx is going to give the Player of the Week to none other than Cedric Benson. Thats right!! Benson on suspension(sounds like a rap song in the making- BENSON ON SUSPENSION) with a dollar sign next to his name is getting the player of the week. Kudos to No Legs for giving the suspended player the start and then Benson went out and put up the same numbers as fellow starter Hardesty!! Tmx rewards such gritty performances. Stay clean Cedric and good luck this week. Your player of the week award will be mailed to you if Mike Foley's post office doesnt get shut down. Lets hope we play the right players and avoid the unpredicatable haaaaammmy curse. Til next week- Tmx here for the people.