Wednesday, December 17, 2008

HAPPY FESTIVUS!

GRIEVANCE # 14

Drinking! For those that have known me long enough it isn’t a problem anymore but for people I meet for the first time it’s always an issue. I DO NOT GET DRUNK……well at least not anymore. I don’t like to get drunk and since anytime I’m in a situation where drinking is involved I’m usually driving. Some people are afraid of heights…some people spiders….some people clowns. For me it’s getting a DUI. Clowns creep me out a little as well but that’s for another time.

So I usually have one or two beers and then call it quits. And that’s when it starts…What do you mean you’re not drinking? Just have one more? I’ll pay for it, it’s on me!......it goes on and on for hours. Now listen people I don’t care what you do and I don’t criticize the decisions you make when you’re drinking. If you want to go out and get hammered and then drive….that’s your decision. I don’t judge your drinking habits so don’t judge mine. Just give me a 30 minute head start before you start your venture home. I figure with the way I drive you have no chance of catching me.


I’ll warn you now……you have absolutely no chance of guilting (is that a word? Or is it guiltying? I need a ruling) me into drinking more. If you want to waste money and line up shots in front of me thinking I’ll feel bad you spent money on shots…..think again. Once I’m done drinking…..I’M DONE. Just accept it and move on.

4 comments:

Mrbooze said...

What if you didnt have to drive?

Mrbooze said...

And why do you have to use the scariest clown ever?? That clown from IT is one Scary motherfucker...it all floats down here!!

Iggles said...

5 beers tops.....and that clown has scarred me for life. Figured I'd share the misery.

Anonymous said...

laugh now people and line up those shots, i knew sitting next to iggles would pay off eventually!!