Monday, December 15, 2008

ADSL Season 3 - Fantasy Football Update!


Man ohhhh man we got ourselves a couple of photo finishes headed our way…..we have 2 very tight races for the 1st place and 10th place. Sflabo and Street Pharmacist are going to battle it out for 1st place while the Arizona Express derailed for Dead Beat Dad on Sunday but they are still in the fight. PHARMACIST has continued their late season surge and now has a 6.5 point lead over FLABO. Both teams look to be healthy and in good shape for the last 2 weeks since most of their players are involved in a fight for playoff seeding. Tough to make a call at this point but it does appear that PHARMACIST has a slight advantage. But we are not going to count out the Fantasy Guru FLABO at this point.


The fight for last place (the dreaded Dress Shopping position) is extremely close. Smidawgs is holding onto 9th place by 1.5 points over Defending Champs. Both will need a little luck and proper roster management to stay out of last. Everything points to CHAMPS completing their late season dash and surpassing DAWGS. Most of CHAMPS key players are in playoff battles and look to be playing the remainder of the season. The same cannot be said for DAWGS who potentially have players on teams that have nothing to play for in week 17. But we have a feeling DAWGS is going to hang on. If DAWGS does hold on to the Beer Bitch spot that would be a first to worst finish for Defending Champs. It is called karma boys……you don’t pay the entry fee then bad things will happen. Speaking of the Ex-Champs has anyone heard from them? Are they going to show up at the week 17 party with their $100?

It is possible that these last 2 weeks may require the Costanza Ladies to work a little overtime and provide a Must Start for all 4 teams. Not sure they will do it but as long as we keep the bar fully stocked I think they are up for it.

The SMIDGY! I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again. The SMIDGY/Goose Egg Club was a FREAKIN’ joke. It was supposed to be a filler in case we had a quiet week. But nooooooo…….DAWGS and CHAMPS have made it a battle for the SMIDGY of the Year Award. Just so both of you know…..there is no SMIDGY of the Year Award. It was a joke! Anyway, CHAMPS has decided to take it to a whole new level this week……they didn’t have one player not get a point they had 2. Good work kid! I honestly don’t even know what to say…other than this may explain why you are in last place. So now what do we do? I guess we have to give you two more SMIDGY’s and congratulate you on becoming a Gold Member. Not sure what that gets you except for a nice weekend of dress shopping. Look on the bright side……you played Visanthe ‘I Was In The Pool’ Shiancoe instead of Tony Scheffler who managed -1 rushing yard this week.









DIRTBALLS - 1
DEADBEAT - 0
CHAMPS - 5
JSL – 2
NIGGERISH - 2
NACHO - 2
FLABO - 0
DAWGS - 3
PHARMACIST - 0
WIZARDS – 0









Things I’m Thinking…….
1. Was I the only one watching that Pats game Sunday wishing they would switch to the Baltimore/Pittsburgh game?
2. Can’t wait for that Week 17 game between Dallas and Philly (in Philly)! If it plays out right it will be a winner take all game. Man I love to be disappointed on the last week of the season.
3. I understand it would have been fun to see Pittsburgh go for it on 4th and inches against the Ravens defense. But the ref’s got the call right…..it was a touchdown! Why is everyone crying over this? The ball only needs to break the plain and it did. Case closed.
4. Did anybody see the President ducking those shoes in Baghdad? Somebody sign him up for our Dodgeball team.
5. Congratulation to the Philadelphia Soul…..you will always be the reigning AFL Champion!


Now for the Costanza Award. The line for the contenders starts around the corner…please do not butt in line and try to remain calm. There will be no fighting for the Costanza boys and girls! How in the hell are we going to figure this one out? First in line is DAWGS who must have been confused by our scoring system and decided to bench the guys who actually score….bench-83.5 starters-78.5. For a guy trying to climb out of the cellar it must be hard for CHAMPS to see 17.5 points from Braylon Edwards sitting on the bench. That move cost CHAMPS 17 points and time will tell if it costs them a fitting session in the dressing room. Next up is WIZARDS…..they have 5 running backs to choose from and they chose the wrong ones. Sammy Morris and Run DMC outscored Reggie Kardashian. Hey FLABO……Calvin Johnson is a MUST START! That 21 points you lost with having him on the bench could be the difference between 1st and 2nd place. So what exactly are we supposed to do with this mess? Ladies and gentlemen I believe this is what we call a cluster-fuck. How in the hell could so many mistakes in roster management be made in one week. After consulting the Ladies we felt it was only fair to give this weeks Costanza Award to SFLABO! Come on kid we are heading down the home stretch.....there is no way you can leave guaranteed points like Calvin Johnson on the bench. You had this thing wrapped up a few weeks ago and now you’re in a race to hold onto second place. We expect better from a Fantasy Guru like yourself. Congratulations on the award!

And please remember ladies and gentlemen do not e-mail, text, or call us about the Costanza. Your comments have no affect on the outcome.


One last thing. If this race for the dress stays this close going into week 17 it would be a good idea to make yourself available. Doesn’t matter if you are in the league or not I’m 99% sure this will be an event that everyone will be talking about for years.

4 comments:

d said...

I like it best when I am not mentioned in these reports...I do get asked though what are you going to Blog about when ADSL is over?

Iggles said...

Taking a few weeks off at the end of the season but I'm open to any suggestions.

Anonymous said...

I have a quick question...If Smiddy does his business and spooges all over the lady - Did she get Smidgy'd too??

Anonymous said...

that lady is blessed with smidgy spoog!! its a badge of honor