I didn’t want to write up a whole NHL preview because fuck it would take too damn long. I didn’t ask Iggles to pitch in because that dude is too busy with his ball busting and fantasy updates. Rio’s basically shut it down. Chiefdude doesn’t actually post anything but pictures and Stylegal is still MIA. I decided I would say a line or 2 about each team (some of the shit I say won’t have anything to do with the upcoming season…ha) and if I think they are play off bound or not. If you don’t like it then skip this article. Alphabetical order seems appropriate.
Anaheim Ducks: I can not take a team serious that is named after a Disney movie. Is Charlie Conway still playing there? Playoffs – YES.
Atlanta Thrashers: If Heatley didn’t kill a guy they would of dominated – Savard, Heatley, Hossa and Kovalchuk. Didn’t work out and now only Kovalchuk is left. Playoffs – NO.
Boston Bruins: It is going to be hard to replace a top sniping goal scorer, in Ke$$el but if Sturm, Wheeler, Kobasow and Bergeron all pick up the slack we may not be overly concerned with Ke$$el gone. Playoffs – YES.
Buffalo Sabres: This is the team Mrs. Booze and her brothers grew up rooting for. Now she loves Lucic and couldn’t name a current Sabre…suck it Ryan Miller. Playoffs – NO.
Calgary Flames: Jerome Iginla ENOUGH SAID. Adding Jay Bouwmeester always helps. Playoffs – Yes.
Carolina Hurricanes: Basically returned the same team as last year and added Aaron Ward. I would like the Bruins to meet them again in the playoffs. Playoffs – YES.
Chicago Blackhawks: It is all or nothing for these guys this year. They will have any decisions to make next off season with their core group of players. Playoffs- YES.
Colorado Avalanche: What a joke this franchise has become. I mean really, I think a few phantom all star teams could beat them. Playoffs – NO.
Columbus Blue Jackets: This team goes as far as Rick Nash and Steve Mason take them. I am not sure it is playoff bound but they will be entertaining. Playoffs – NO.
Dallas Stars: This is my sleeper team this year. If they can carry last years momentum over then hell they can play with anyone. Playoffs – YES.
Detroit Red Wings: They are the Yankees of hockey or are the Yankees the Red wings of baseball? Either way. Playoffs – YES.
Edmonton Oilers: It seems like every 5 or 6 years they go from suck to mediocre. This could be the year they are not too bad. Playoffs – NO.
Florida Panthers: They lost their best player in Jay Bouwmeester is not going to make a shitty team any better. Playoffs – NO.
Los Angeles Kings: I only know Jonathan Quick from their roster and that’s because he went to ZooMass. Playoffs – NO.
Minnesota Wild: I hate all the Koivu’s – Mikko and Saku. Playoffs – NO.
Montreal Canadiens: I am upset that I can’t yell “FUCK YOU HIGGINS” anymore but I am sure Brian Gionta, Hal Gill, Scott Gomez or any other of the new Cuntnadians can fill that void once the season starts. Playoffs – YES.
Nashville Predators: I don’t know how or why Tennessee has a team. Playoffs – NO.
New Jersey Devils: They have their old coach back. The King of the neutral zone trap. Their games will be boring. They have a great goalie. They will win lots of games by 1 goal. YUCKY. Playoffs – YES.
New York Islanders: Seems like every year they are rebuilding. Maybe this team should be folded. I will watch this new kid, John Tavares. Playoffs – NO.
New York Rangers: They made a major over haul of their roster. Lots of new faces with loads of NHL talent. Chris Drury and Henrik Lundqvist anchor a solid team. Playoffs – YES.
Ottawa Senators: Go Sens Go or is it NO SENS NO. They aren’t going anywhere this year. Playoffs- NO
Philadelphia Flyers: Ray Emery – check. Chris Pronger – check. Mike Richard/Jeff Carter – check. This could be an exciting time in Philly or a riot at the arena every night. Either way I am excited for the fire works. Playoffs – YES.
Phoenix Coyotes: A young team that needs Coaching, an owner, a sense of direction, OH and some fans. Playoffs – NO.
Pittsburgh Penguins: Two of the best players in the NHL with Crosby and Malkin. Returning cup champs. Playoffs – YES.
San Jose Sharks: They can only be better with Dany Heatly on a line with Joey T. Playoffs – YES.
St. Louis Blues: Hard working team who really gelled half way through last season. Didn’t go as deep in the playoffs as I thought last year. Playoffs – YES.
Tampa Bay Lightning: Vinny Lacavlier and Marty St. Louis should be able to bring a team to the playoffs. Not this year. Playoffs – NO.
Toronto Maple Leafs: I hope they don’t win 25 games. Playoffs – NO.
Vancouver Canucks: LUONGO, LUONGO, LUONGO and the Sedin twins! Playoffs – YES.
Washington Capitals: Ovechkin + Backstrom + Green = a top 5 team in the NHL. If they could only get an outstanding goalie. Playoffs – YES.
Out of the East - Boston, Carolina, Montreal, New Jersey, NY Rangers, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and Washington.
Out of the West - Anaheim, Calgary, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, St. Louis, San Jose, Vancouver.
The playoffs will be rocking as always and someone always ends up scoring an upset.
I have Boston vs Washington and San Jose vs Calgary with the winners moving on to the Stanley Cup. It is still the day before the season starts and injuries could derail this whole plan.