Sunday, September 6, 2009

ASDL Season 4 Draft Review

“The only things certain in life are death and taxes”….Benjamin Franklin

I think it’s time we make some additions to this quote. “The only things certain in life are death, taxes, Smidawgs taking too long to make their pick, Franklins Felons going TE first, and Most Interesting Men not paying the full league fee”. And for those of you not in the league….yes, Most Interesting Men is the same team that didn’t pay last year. Seriously… is this possible! And to make matters worse, one of INTERESTING’s owners didn’t even bother to show up. I was really going to try to be nice this year….no awards, no making fun of people. But I guess that’s all out the window since the league is picking up exactly where we left off last year… up BITCHES!!!!

Now for the review…..we managed to get all 17 rounds done in a little over 3 hours which was a complete surprise. I was expecting at least a 4 hour draft.

Round 1:
1. Beach Bums – Adrian Peterson
2. Sflabo – Maurice Jones-Drew
3. Smidawgs – Michael Turner
4. Iggles – Matt Forte
5. Madd Fucking Niggerish – DeAngelo Williams
6. Street Pharmacist – Steve Slaton
7. Mungo 420 – Frank Gore
8. The Slippery Wizards – Steven Jackson
9. Most Interesting Men – Drew Brees
10. Franklins Felons – Larry Fitzgerald

My Pick:
Matt Forte - There really wasn’t too much thinking involved with this pick. Going into the draft the consensus top 4 picks were AP, MJD, Turner, and Forte…so I knew I was getting one of them. I was hoping that MJD would fall to me but knew there was maybe a 5% chance of that happening. I’ll take Forte and pray he doesn’t have the dreaded Sophomore Slump!

Reach of the Round:
I said it last year and I’ll say it this year. All of the first round picks were good so picking a true Reach of the Round is a little tough but if I had to pick one I’d go with Frank Gore. I had Gore ranked at #12 because it sounds like he’s going to lose touches to Glenn Coffee.

Steal of the Round:
Loved the Steven Jackson pick at #8 for The Slippery Wizards. Jackson will be the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd option for St. Louis this year. Jackson should finish the year 1200+ rushing yards, 50+ catches, 12+ TD’s….and will be a top 5 fantasy RB by seasons end. Good pick WIZARDS!

Round 2:
11. Franklins Felons – Andre Johnson
12. Most Interesting Men – Chris Johnson
13. The Slippery Wizards – Randy Moss
14. Mungo 420 – Tom Brady
15. Street Pharmacist – LaDainian Tomlinson
16. Madd Fucking Niggerish – Calvin Johnson
17. Iggles – Brian Westbrook
18. Smidawgs – Steve Smith
19. Sflabo – Marion Barber
20. Beach Bums – Peyton Manning

My Pick:
Brian Westbrook – The PPR pre-draft rankings all pointed to the same thing….either LT, Westbrook, or Megatron were going to be there for me at 17. I was hoping for LT….but I’ll live with B-West. This is either a boom or bust pick and will determine if I’m wearing a dress next year.

Reach of the Round:
Well, this didn’t take very long. We have our first candidate for Reach of the Draft….and I’m sure it’s no surprise to anyone that this honor goes to DAWGS! Steve Smith at #18 is waaayyyy to early. CBSSportsline had him ranked at #29 and I had him ranked as a mid-third rounder. He would have been there when it came back to you in the 3rd round.

Steal of the Round:
Every year Street Pharmacist falls ass backwards into these picks. LT at #15 is an absolute steal. He is finally healthy and probably should have been drafted late in the first round. San Diego has a weak schedule with an improved defense so they should be up in most games which means LT will get a tone of garbage yards at the end of games.

Round 3:
21. Beach Bums – Reggie Wayne
22. Sflabo – Philip Rivers
23. Smidawgs – Aaron Rodgers
24. Iggles – Greg Jennings
25. Madd Fucking Niggerish – Roddy White
26. Street Pharmacist – Marques Colston
27. Mungo 420 – Anquan Boldin
28. The Slippery Wizards – Ryan Grant
29. Most Interesting Men – Wes Welker
30. Franklins Felons – Kevin Smith

My Pick:
Greg Jennings – When we started the 3rd round I was targeting 3 players: Rivers, Rodgers, and Jennings. I really wanted Rodgers….but since DAWGS took him I went with his #1 WR. My other option here was Colston but New Orleans has so many weapons that they will spread the ball around quite bit. Colston may not get as many balls thrown to him as Jennings so that’s why I went with him.

Reach of the Round:
Hmmmmm…….Kevin Smith? Really? When I got home I thought I may have written down the picks wrong. You have Portis, Jacobs, and Pierre Thomas available and you took Smith? I like Smith and all but the problem is Detroit will be trailing in almost all of their games so he gets no garbage time carries.

Steal of the Round:
Tough call on this one. Other than Smith everyone fell right where they were supposed to. But I’m going with the WIZARDS pick of Ryan Grant as the Steal of the Round. I absolutely love Grant this year…any time you can grab a #1 RB with no real back-up in the 3rd round it’s a great pick. Grant was the 13th RB taken and has the potential to finish the year as a top 6 or 7 RB.

Round 4:
31. Franklins Felons – Jason Witten
32. Most Interesting Men – Brandon Jacobs
33. The Slippery Wizards – Dallas Clark
34. Mungo 420 – Clinton Portis
35. Street Pharmacist – Tony Gonzalez
36. Madd Fucking Niggerish – Joseph Addai
37. Iggles – Pierre Thomas
38. Smidawgs – Dwayne Bowe
39. Sflabo – Terrell Owens
30. Beach Bums – Chad OchoCinco

My Pick:
Pierre Thomas - Tough spot here. Too early to take a TE, I was thinking of going McNabb here but the next 6 picks before my 5th round pick already had their QB’s, and I’m not sold on any of the available WR’s. I always want RB depth and I had Thomas as my next best RB so what the hell. Thomas it is and now I have a good back up for the inevitable Westbrook injury.

Reach of the Round :
So here is what I wrote for last years 3rd round Reach of the Round: “A tight end in the 3rd round???? Are you serious? Granted Witten is the best TE but in the 3rd round. He would’ve been there when it came back to you JSL. Witten’s average draft position was around 50 going no earlier than the 44th spot. You know it’s a reach when this didn’t start a run on the TE position.”
Yup….good work FELONS even though this was the first pick of the 4th round you still picked Witten too early. Real nice…you managed to fuck up the draft again this year. That’s back to back Reach of the Rounds for you FELONS!

Steal of the Round:
Gotta go with INTERESTING here and their pick of Brandon Jacobs. The guy is an absolute beast who averages 5 yards per carry and is their goal-line back. CBSSports had him ranked #22 and I thought he was worth a pick late in the 2nd round. Yes Coughlin can be a real pain in the ass with his RB rotation but at some point he has to realize that Jacobs needs to touch the ball more. Great Pick!

Round 5:
41. Beach Bums – Larry Johnson
42. Sflabo – Antonio Gates
43. Smidawgs – Ronnie Brown
44. Iggles – Donovan McNabb
45. Madd Fucking Niggerish – TJ Houshmandzadeh
46. Street Pharmacist – Vincent Jackson
47. Mungo 420 – Brandon Marshall
48. The Slippery Wizards – Darren McFadden
49. Most Interesting Men – Eddie Royal
50. Franklins Felons – Kurt Warner

My Pick:
Donovan McNabb – Rules….we all have draft rules. Rule #2 for me is to get a QB/WR combo. Now in the case of the Eagles that combo is McNabb/Westbrook. Everything I have heard and ready out of Philly is Westbrook is as healthy as he’s been in 2 years. And that means a ton of screen passes for B-West. And I don’t think the Eagles defense will be as good as last year so they will need to put up points.

Reach of the Round:
For the first time in the draft the entire table erupted in laughs and jeers. Brandon Marshall…..ugggghhhh! Come on Mungo…the guy is suspended, trying to get traded, is one more incident from being suspended by the league, and has no QB that can get him the ball. Worst pick of the draft so far…hands down!

Steal of the Round:
Tough to pick a Steal of the Round. The Vincent Jackson pick is a real good value pick for Street Pharmacist and Darren McFadden for the WIZARDS is a steal for the late 5th round. But I’m going T.J. ‘Championship’ Houshamazoo for the Steal of the Round. The guy is a receptions machine and will be Seattle’s #1 WR and should catch more than 100 balls this year.

Round 6:
51. Franklins Felons – Cedric Benson
52. Most Interesting Men – Lee Evans
53. The Slippery Wizards – Braylon Edwards
54. Mungo 420 – Chris Cooley
55. Street Pharmacist – Matt Ryan
56. Madd Fucking Niggerish – Reggie Bush
57. Iggles – Ray Rice
58. Smidawgs – Greg Olsen
59. Sflabo – Tony Romo
60. Beach Bums – DeSean Jackson

My Pick:
Ray Rice – I really needed a 2nd WR and there were only 2 available WR’s that were worth taking before the 9th round: DeSean Jackson and Braylon Edwards. Now I couldn’t take Jackson because I already had 2 Eagles….so I’m looking for Edwards. Fucking WIZARDS…..screwed me again! Had to go to plan B which was a TE and the only one I liked was Owen Daniels but I knew he would be there for me when it came back in the 7th round. So when in doubt go with RB….you can never have too many RB’s. Welcome to Team Iggles Ray Rice (oh and by the way you are officially on the Block...welcome to the team).

Reach of the Round:
FELONS……things aren’t looking to good for you right now. Cedric Benson probably would have been there for you in round 7. I know you needed a 2nd RB but this is exactly why you don’t get a TE in the 3rd or 4th round…..get your 2 starting RB’s in the first 5 rounds. Let me know when you want to trade for an RB….I have a ton of them.

Steal of the Round:
As I mentioned earlier I really liked WIZARDS pick this round but the Steal of the Round has to be Tony Romo going to SFLABO with the 59th pick. CBS had him ranked #31 and I really think he will play better now that TO is gone. Well done SFLABO.

Round 7:
61. Beach Bums – Knowshon Moreno
62. Sflabo – Santonio Holmes
63. Smidawgs – Willie Parker
64. Iggles – Owen Daniels
65. Madd Fucking Niggerish – John Carlson
66. Street Pharmacist – Thomas Jones
67. Mungo 420 – Donald Driver
68. The Slippery Wizards – Roy E. Williams
69. Most Interesting Men – Jeremy Shockey
70. Franklins Felons – Jericho Cotchery

My Pick:
Owen Daniels. If you read all of the fantasy football draft publications they all tell you not to target certain players. Just let the draft play out and stick to your board. I honestly think that’s a bunch of crap. If there is a guy you like and really need to have then go ahead and draft him. Owen Daniels is that guy for me. He was the 4th most targeted TE in football last year and when it comes to WR and TE you want a guy that is going to be thrown to a lot.

Reach of the Round:
Every year it’s right around this time the draft starts going to hell. Players are falling for no apparent reason and nobody drafts them because you think the guy may be injured and you didn’t know about it. Personal preferences start coming into play. And then there is that pick that just leaves you scratching your head. The head scratcher of this round had to be Jeremy Shockey. It took me 2 rounds just to find him on my list so I could cross him off. With all of the weapons New Orleans has, Shockey is the 4th option at best on every play. I just have one question: Did INTERESTING schedule an appointment with his chiropractor after this pick? He had to of pulled a muscle in his back reaching this far.

Steal of the Round:
Good work for some of you in this round. Thomas Jones, Willie Parker, Knowshon Moreno were all really good picks. But the WIZARDS pulled one off again by stealing Roy E. Williams. Say what you want about Dallas but he is the #2 option on pass plays for Dallas and you know Witten will be double covered on every play. Watch out for the WIZARDS kids…..they could be the team to beat.

Round 8:
71. Franklins Felons – Marshawn Lynch
72. Most Interesting Men – Santana Moss
73. The Slippery Wizards – Carson Palmer
74. Mungo 420 – Lendale White
75. Street Pharmacist – Anthony Gonzalez
76. Madd Fucking Niggerish – Steelers
77. Iggles – Jay Cutler
78. Smidawgs – Hines Ward
79. Sflabo – Derrick Ward
80. Beach Bums – Matt Schaub

My Pick:
Jay Cutler – Desperately needed a WR but there just wasn’t anyone there. I had some WR’s that I was targeting in later rounds so I just said screw it. Might as well load up at QB just in case McNabb gets hurt. Since I have Forte and Cutler was available it was really my only option, I’m not a huge fan of Cutler’s but it was worth a shot this late in the draft.

Reach of the Round:
You can write this down. Whoever takes the first TE and the first Defense is almost a lock to get Reach of the Round. So there you go Madd Fucking Niggerish… got your Reach of the Round. Congratulations!

Steal of the Round:
The hands down winner in this round is Beach Bums…..Matt Schaub is an absolute steal in the 8th round. Look the guy can’t keep getting injured….right? He’s gotta play 16 games at some point in his career and with all of those weapons and a crappy defense he will be throwing early and often.

Round 9:
81. Beach Bums – Dustin Keller
82. Sflabo – Felix Jones
83. Smidawgs – Jamal Lewis
84. Iggles – Nate Washington
85. Madd Fucking Niggerish – Matt Hasselbeck
86. Street Pharmacist – Darren Sproles
87. Mungo 420 – Tim Hightower
88. The Slippery Wizards – Chris Wells
89. Most Interesting Men – James Davis
90. Franklins Felons – Donald Brown

My Pick:
Nate who? I got to see the Titans play 2 preseason games and everytime Collins went back to pass he looked for Nate Washington. Washington was starting to climb up draft boards and then he screwed up his hamstring. Probably took him a round too early but I had another WR that I wanted to take in round 10 and I figured Nate wouldn’t make it to round 11.

Reach of the Round:
When I took Washington I was fully prepared to give myself the Reach of the Round. But INTERESTING decided to pick James Davis who wasn’t even ranked in the top 200. I’m not sure about anyone else but I had Davis as a possible flex pick in the last round. Davis is still listed as the 3rd string RB and may be used in passing downs. That’s another big time reach for you INTERESTING….I guess you like wearing a dress.

Steal of the Round:
There were a couple of nice steals in the 9th round….Hightower, Felix Jones, and Jamal Lewis were all great picks. But BUMS pulled out another gem by drafting Dustin Keller. It’s always a great idea to take a TE who is playing with a rookie QB. Rookie QB’s are lucky if they get to their 2nd progression before they decide to dump it off. Look for Keller to have a great year. Well played BUMS!!!

Round 10:
91. Franklins Felons – Devin Hester
92. Most Interesting Men – Ben Roethlisberger
93. The Slippery Wizards – Trent Edwards
94. Mungo 420 – Bernard Berrian
95. Street Pharmacist – Vikings
96. Madd Fucking Niggerish – Chester Taylor
97. Iggles – Donnie Avery
98. Smidawgs – Kevin Walter
99. Sflabo – Kellen Winslow
100. Beach Bums – Giants

My Pick:
Donnie Avery – If you have a chance to take a #1 WR as late as the 10th round you do it….no questions asked. St Louis will be real bad this year and will need to throw the ball late in games. Late 2nd half garbage points have the same value as 1st quarter points. Avery got a little banged up in the preseason but returned to practice about a week ago so he should (I hope) be ready for week 1.

Reach of the Round:
Son of a bitch…..I think I need to give myself Reach of the Round. The only other contender is Trent Edwards who was ranked lower than Avery but in all fairness I really like Trent Edwards as the #2 QB. Reach of the Round goes to Iggles.

Steal of the Round:
This one is a toss up. Big Ben and Bernard Berrian are great picks considering we are in the 10th round. The edge goes to INTERESTING with the pick of Big Ben. The Pittsburgh offensive line is awful so they will need to throw the ball to keep the chains moving.

Now for the predictions:

10th Place – Madd Fucking Niggerish (1890)
9th Place – Smidawgs (1894)
8th Place – Iggles (1902)
7th Place – Mungo 420 (1926)
6th Place – The Slippery Wizards (1940)
5th Place – Franklins Felons (1942)
4th Place – Street Pharmacist (1944)
3rd Place – Beach Bums (1945)
2nd Place – Sflabo (1999)
1st Place – Most Interesting Men (2001)

Good job on the draft kids…..we’ll see you at the end of the year when the league gets together for the last week of the regular season.


d said...

You picked me to finish 10th??

SFLABO said...

You think only 111 points will separate first and tenth place??? I think that separated first and third last year. Other than that, good job...For the record, I think the Wizards have the best draft day team.