Week 4 recap

Week 4 is in the books and here to report it all is TMX the official fantasy reporting news agency of ADSL.

What a wild week it was in the fantasy/real world!! The group text has officially led to our first threat of bodily harm as the owners of Midnight Tokers were asking for home addresses!!! TMX made SEVERAL calls to midnight tokers for explanations but has yet to get a response!! The league is looking at an emergency owners meeting to see if threats are real and if Tokers team should be removed. Stay tuned!! TMX has also hired well known investigative reporter and former liason to Hank Philippe Ryan (hank on your side) WES CASH to keep track of the latest scandals. Mr. Cash is currently trying to track down funds owed by Black Dynamite from years past and why the WAGON isn't losing 10pts per week!!! The investigation is on going!!

This week saw a lot of movement in the standings due to the bye weeks and some teams having huge weeks. The weekly winner of 75 dollars in cold hard cash was newly named FYW with 176. Its FYW second straight victory and has brought him from 7th to 4th overall. FYW is riding the Andrew Luck train who is putting up 40 burgers each week and looking like an mvp caliber qb. Waiver pick up Asiata also had a huge week for FYW ( no idea what that means but its better than his last name so just go with it people). 2nd place this week was Slippery Wizards with 161. The Wizards rode a strong week by old man Frank Gore and Keenan Allen both of who he offered in trades all week but the numbers didn't match up according to Dave Richard or Dave Dick on the streets. Keep trying Wizards, trades are good for the league. 3rd place this week was DMC with 159. DMC is basically a two man show right now when Rodgers and Jordy are on - they are ON. 4th this week was Gramatron with 128 rumors are circulating that the league is looking into Gramatron's possible gambling addiction as he had 125 fanduel teams last week. This bears watching as the commish is looking to regain control of the league and may set the example here!! Gramatron got the majority of his points from not Jimmy Graham or Megatron but Muddy Rivers and Reggie Wayne!! 5th place this week was Romosexual who have the Texans d, Romo and waiver wire stud Kniles Davis taking the Romos in the right direction as they wait for injuries to heal!! 6th place this week were the Supah P's ( P contacted TMX to say he was flattered by being a name of a team, didn't have the heart to say your team is struggling in 9th but its early) Supah's had 118 led by Stafford and T. Williams yup who outscored Dez great play by the Supahs. 7th place this week was Dillons Villenz, oops autocorrect, Midnight Tokers with 104. Tokers had big guns on a bye and were obviously distracted by group text but still put up a hundo led by Murray who in a redraft may go number one guy, has been a machine. 8th place this week is the Beachbums with 103 led by Millar and Benjamin ( real nfl players I'm told) Beach bums have some waivers or trades to make as the qb situation continues to plague them. God Brady is really testing the patience of the BBums. 9th place this week with 99 points is Jackals. Jackals got a huge week from Antonio Brown and Jackals ownership continues to have a love affair with McCoy. Numerous trade offer refused as he hung on to mr 3pts total last two weeks. I guess cant expect anything but improvement?? Last place this week was Black Dynomite with 78pts. Tough week for "the wagon" with Manning on a bye. Black Dynomite is the first owner TMX has seen that is proud of his bench?? Actually praising its scoring and betting teams starters vs his bench??? For the record TMX has kept a running tally of his bench scoring 75, 112, 74 and 121 this week all of which did nothing to stop them from falling out of first to 3rd? Confused??  So is TMX!! 

 LETS MAKE SOME CALLS!! First call by TMX was to this weeks winners FYW mvp candidate Andrew Luck. Hey Andrew it TMX can we call you Andy or Dandy Andy?? " uhhm I went to Stanford call me Andrew" Well well lets tone it down Andrew we have members of our staff that attended prestigious schools as well, ever heard of UMASS followed by Cape Cod Community College after being asked to leave Umass?? " yeah TMX I'm confused with your questioning, do you have any real questions I'm busy putting up 40 burgers you know" Jeez Andrew your a little snooty, well smarty whats your team name mean FYW?? " Tmx look I respect what you do and I'm happy to be part of FYW but honestly I have no idea" Hmm didn't think so smarty. TMX 1- Smarty 0, in all seriousness thanks for your time Andrew I'm sure we will talk again. "yeah thank you, later" Wow tough interview. TMX next call was to the losing teams Jamaal Charles. Hey Jamaal great week coming back from the injury!! " you know it huge win!! Our management is putting us in the position to win this league!! I know its week four but we are on fire outscoring every team!!! Yo cobb pass me the champagne we got this thing wrapped up!! BENCHMOB FO LIFE" Uhmm Jamal you realize bench points don't count in the league and you are on the bench?? " yeah our management team wants its best players on the bench? its crazy!! but we are all on board got benchmob shirts and we had Brian Scalbrine in here giving us a bench player pep talk just last week!! Yo roddy great game!!!" TMX is literally speechless, well Jamaal good luck the rest of the way I'm sure we will talk to you again. " oh bet TMX love your work, anyone seen  Lions D?? got some champagne for them they lit it up!" Well there you have it. Lets get a look at the standings.

1. Slippery Wizards.....................................
2. Dmc.....................................................24pts back
3. Black Dynomite......................................38pts
4. FYW.....................................................40pts
5. The Jackals...........................................74pts
6. Midnight Tokers.....................................81pts
7. Grahatron..............................................88pts
8. Romosexuals..........................................89pts
9. Supah P's...............................................115pts
10. Beach Bums...........................................137pts

    Tons of movement early on in the season as FYW went from 7th to 4th, Slippery Wizards jumped to first as Black Dynomite's wagon fell to third. The waivers have helped teams move and trades have slowed down for an unknown reason. TMX is on twitter and myspace ( refuse to go to facebook, aint broke why fix it) so if you have any hot leads please hit us up. TMX will continue to bring the news and lead the investigation cuz we are here to help!! Good luck in week 5 and hope to stay injury free. Diggles I got your repeated request for interviews but legally we cannot talk until the court settlement is through. Carolina Creeping we see you. TMX out.

How come...

people don't have Halloween parties anymore?
I mean I miss the days when Chrissy would dress up as a gay cowboy. Or Jeffrey being the Beastie Boys from the Sabotage video.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. The MacPhails are celebrating their anniversary today. If you see them at Venus please buy em a shot.
2. Mike Foley must be really killing it down in NC since no one has really heard from him.
3. Speaking of not hearing from people has any heard from KevBarry??
4. Apparently, Padraig Calnan says that no one reads this blog and I am wasting my time. Hey writing is therapeutic.
5. Chrissy is back on track and down to 238. Don't hate on the chubby kid trying to get down to 228.
6. My wife informed me that she wants a 3rd dog, a Pomeranian. That is normal.
7. Papa Johns pizza sucks.
8. I think breakfast is under rated.
9. I do not understand how people work the over night shift. Every single time I have worked it, my week is messed up.
10. Nothing worse than hurting your hip.
11. The older I get the more and more I dislike this new hip hop music. I really am getting to be an old man.
12. Anyone know a good training regiment for The Tough Mudder? Calnan, Rob, Rio, Jeffrey and I are planning on doing Mt Snow in June. Hayes is on the fence.
13.What you know about belonging to the Y, asking for a friend?
14. I don't like fish but I sure as hell like fish tacos, you figure it out.

See you all next week.

TMX is back

TMX IS BACK. 

Tmx the premier fantasy news reporting outlet which is loosely affiliated with Folan.com the number 6 ranked internet media outlet is here with all your fantasy news!!! The FOUR PLUS HOUR ADSL draft has come and gone and so has weeks one and two. TMX is finally cleared of the legal hurdles we were forced to jump through over a pending lawsuit put forth by a person who COPYRIGHTED his name and will not allow us to use it or his small stature balled head likeness nor are we allowed to use "ALL IGGLES"( copyright pending*).

Quick recap over the summer our offices were approached by a lawyer named Jimmy Childs who apparently is the low budget lesser known brother of bigshot lawyer Jackie Childs ( who told you to strap a bomb?). Mr Childs informed us that  there were lawsuits pending by (copyrighted name who we will henforth refer to as DIGGLES). Mr Diggles was suing us for using his name and is in the process of copyrighting the All Iggles name so Jimmy Childs told us to "use that shit at your own risk, go ahead I dare you". TMX is not one to back down but the legal funds dwindling we decided to step away from the all Iggles lawsuits. Diggles can have it. Mr Childs you are correct in telling TMX you have the cojones.

Looking at each week TMX will have a you don't have the cojones player for each team. Enough about that and on to the latest news. TMX has seen the most panic waiver wire and sky is falling reactions from the league in years!! ITS WEEK 3 and we have people dress shopping. Speaking of which what a power move dress Supah P's owners showed up with at the draft! TMX instagram (please follow) has the pic up for those who want to see how losing should be done. We have also introduced the term TRADE RAPE to the fantasy world. TMX is totally against trade rape and if any team needs help in preventing such a thing ( crabtree for Wallace?) We all need to stop trade rapes!! See something say something!!!! Heres the breakdown of the current week!!

First place this week was worse team name in the league Los Put Your Nutsaway with a come from behind Monday night take over, 128 pt week led by a 45 burger from Andy Luck.  YOU scared? Sit this week was Broncos D putting up 14 while you started Panthers for 1pt??
Second place this week was new comers The Jackals with 126 losing by 2 points on Monday night, tough to take!! Jackals were led by strong wr corps Maclin and Brown. YOU scared?? Started McCoy (bust??) who had 2 pts and sat reggie smack my kids if I want bush who put up 18!!
3rd this week were the Romosexuals with 124 led by Wilson and sneaky draft day pick of Kniles Davis. YOU scared?? Leaving the bengals 19pts on the bench while starting Texans got you 6. 
4th this week was Slippery Wizards with 118 led by a 67pt Thursday night game from Ryan and Jones. YOU scared sat newly acquired red hot Foles 37 pts!!
5th this week were the Beach Bums Na-nu-na-nu ( tribute to robin Williams) also with 118 led by Sanders and Millar, the Bums like Williams seem a little down if you see him give him a hug or a rope depending on your feelings. YOU scared sat 43pt cousins in favor of the God Brady's 15.

6th place this week was Dirty Moon Crickets with 117 led by Pierre Garcon!! Guess DMC was scared to salsa with Cruz's 24 and stuck by Jordy and his 8!!
Coming in 7th with 115 were the Midnight Tokers. Tokers have the rb power couple Gio and Murray tearing it up. The reigning champ was quoted on draft day as saying " ha you morons just gave me the league again by letting me get these two". Guess he looks right but he was too scared to start Desean and his 25pts and instead went with harvin and his 7.
8th place this week was Gramatron with 107 pts. Gramatron led by neither graham or megatron but instead by Muddy Rivers and the colts d!  Guess he was too scared to start Floyd and his 18 and went with megas measley 11.
9th place this week was Supah P's ( a tribute to a long lost friend who was taken into the Pembroke swamps and never to be heard by TMX again. RI-supahP) he had 106 led by newly acquired Jennings (Trade Rape?) and Lynch who looks like an early MVP candidate. Guess he was too scared to sit Gates and his 1 point when he had Kelce and his 11!
Last Place this week was Black Dynamite with 98. Led by manning and bell . Looks like they got crabtree but were too scared to play him 19 pts but played Cobb and his 4!!

The overall standings after 3 weeks, and with Black Dynamite ( self proclaimed Wagon) winning first two weeks, are as follows.

1.Black Dynamite.................................................
2.Slippery Wizards............................................... 44 pts behind
3.The Jackals....................................................... 58 pts
4. DMC................................................................ 66 pts
5. Midnight Tokers.................................................69 pts
6. Romosexuals.................................................... 94 pts
7. Grahamatron.....................................................98 pts
8. Nutsaway..........................................................99 pts
9. Supah P's..........................................................116 pts
10. Beachbums......................................................125 pts

       Its  early in the season and obviously anyone's got a chance to win it.  The waiver wire is red hot and the trades are being offered. The bye weeks start this week which should mean even more movement on the wire and trade front. TMX is happy to be back and wishes that all the crazy injuries slow down, we lost quite a few guys in the first 3 weeks!! Good luck to all next week and DONT BE SCARED. Hey Jimmy Childs and Diggles. We back bitches.

Fall

It is the first day of Fall. You bitches know that I love the Fall season. I hate all the pumpkin everything but I love this season.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Apparently Kanes donuts in Saugus is where its at.
2. Calnan is sober, carb free and quite miserable.(Still hasn't had a weigh in for the weight challenge).
3. Chrissy gained 1.8 pounds in his work biggest loser challenge. Kids rocking 241.8.
4. The Kubie Krawl was yet again another success. Great turn out.
5. Ozzie is talking about a trip to Nashville to see the B's play in December, it may be on the big blue bus:

                                             (We take selfies get over it)

6. Hulk Hogan is not the only person who uses just for men on their beard.
7. Its funny to get messages once a week asking me when I am coming back to Facebook because they miss my daily posts.
8. Sorry ladies William J Smiddy is officially off the market, rumor has it he is actually moving in with his lady.
9. Fall means hot coffee for me, man this is taking some getting used too.
10. Everyone loves when someone tells you that you can not do something. Challenge accepted.
11. WWE is getting very generic lately. BORING!
12. Rumor has it TMX will be back this week. As of right now its just a rumor.
13. I do not really understand how people make crazy money on the fan duel.
14. Fucking Christmas is 3 months away. Get that shopping in fools.
15. Rio is officially moved into his house in Saugus. Party to follow, well after his furniture comes in.
16. Pulled pork burritos are fully under rated.

Work is kind of busy so I am gonna have to bail.
Have a nice week.

The bet

Soooooo Calnan has challenged me/bet me to see who can lose the most weight in a month. So we start tomorrow and go till October 17th. Total weight loss by percentage. The loser has to pose in a Halloween costume the winner picks out, The pictures will be posted on this blog for 6 months every week.

This is what i learned this week:
1. Chrissy is down to 240 from 248.8 in his biggest loser challenge at Coke.
2. Jeffrey has only been to the Cheesecake factory 3 times.
3. Are they terrible twos or terrors at three because my nephew is a menace.
4. There has been a Lauren Brady sighting, well on Instagram but still a sighting.
5. Rob hates #SelfieSundays.
6. The Ozone is just waiting on his cable and he will officially be a resident of Saugus.
7. Everyone has their own problems, remember that. You may not see them but believe me not everything is the fucking Cosby show.
8. Fantasy football is almost a 24/7 job now a days. I think next year I get in 1 league and thats all.
9. Speaking of fantasy - Pimpin aint Parise is back up and running. After a 2nd and 3rd place finish the last 2 years Ozone and I are taking our hockey talents to ESPN fantasy hockey.
10. Kristins cafe in Braintree is the shit. Best breakfast I have had in some time. It has like 40 different pancakes.
11. Sometimes when my mind wanders it goes all over the map.
12. I have no idea how people deal with having like 5 dogs. I can barely deal with 2.
13. Who the fuck eats orange marmalade?
14. Thanks Stop and Shop for a $32.24 full tank of gas.
15. Does anyone have any suggestions on stretching out your hips?
16. Never ever get unsalted pretzels. Thats just the devil's snack.
17. When are we planning on going to visit Mike Foley in North Carolina?
18. Has anyone seen Bill Smiddy? I asked him to hang out this past week and he no call no showed me.

Thats all I got for now.

Hope you all have a nice week.

I will see most if not all of you at The Kubie crawl this Saturday. Show up in Southie for a good cause.

Lets roll

I am so glad that football is back. Something to watch all day Saturday and all of Sunday.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Never knew Roslindale was 15 minutes from Quincy.
2. I am not all that good at the Can Jam.
3. Sometimes a nice night chilling on your couch is the best thing.
4. Has anyone see Calnan rocking his Michael Sam Cowboy jersey?
5. What is better bar pizza - Cape Cod Cafe, Emmas, Town Spa or the Linwood Cafe?Dont even bring up Santarpios.
6. I have tried the almond milk in my iced coffee. It aint good.
7. Why is it you text Smiddy all week long and he gets back to you maybe once? You know that mother fucker is reading all them messages.
8. What is worse, as an adult, an ear infection or a tooth ache. Either way im crying like a bitch.
9. Running a mile under 12 minutes makes ya feel good.
10. Four  fantasy leagues may be wayyy too many. Like at least 2 too many.
11. I can still not make gravy, to this day. Everytime I try its nasty as fuck.
12. Chrissy started a Biggest Loser Challenge at work. He started 2 weeks ago and weighs in on Monday afternoons. Initial weight - 253.4 and the 1st weigh in was 248.8(last week). I will update it each week so that we can show our support.
13. How come none of you twerps helped Mario with painting his new house? Hope you arent invited to his first BBQ.
14. What is worse than craving a certain food - Chinese food, Mexican food, KFC or anything and then after you eat it you feel so dissatisfied?
15. The 1st supper club of the year was a success. What should be make for next week?
16.Grumpy Whites no longer carries onion rings. So there is no longer a reason to go there.
17. Only 30 days till hockey season but who is counting?
18. Rio has started his PLAYOFF BEARD ALREADY!!(Im sure he will have to shave it off for Cataldos wedding).
19. This new voice to text feature is something. I can literally tape what I want to say and send it along - WATCH OUT WORLD!
20. If you are gonna have a party, make sure you get Tim Barrett on the list. He can and loves to cook up a storm. Dude brought home made kettle corn to Devitos house warming party.
21. Mike Foley is living the high life down in North Carolina.
22. I can not wait for the Fall weather. It makes me happy.



That's all I got for now.

September

Looky looky looky September came roaring in like a mother fucker. Hot as balls out there and the humidity ain't helping.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Hong Kong Dave wants these things wiped off the map:

JUST SAY NO TO BAREFOOT RUNNERS PEOPLE!!
2. Sun burns suck more than anything but peeling ain't much better.
3. Minot beach in Scituate ain't too shabby. Even though I smashed my ass on the ground.

4. I think turkey burgers get a bad wrap. I mean a good quality turkey burger not some frozen patty.
5. What is harder - running with blisters, running on the sand, running on rocks or running in 91 degree temps.
6. This may sum up why the draft is no longer at Barrett's house:

7. I accidentally left Chrissy off of the #sundayselfie text group this week and I honestly felt bad.
8. Whats the rules for fighting with your mother in law? Do you let it go or do you turn the other cheek? Asking for a friend.
9. If you have seen Flipping Boston, doesn't the English guy Dave, remind you of Smiddy?
10. According to Mike Foley anyone who wants to come down to North Carolina for a quick getaway, he has a 2 bedroom apartment and nothing but time.
11. I am pumped that football is back, both college and the NFL.
12. If you call my phone 100% I am sending you to voicemail. I do not want to chat to anyone. Text a mother fucker.
13. Still Face Book free and actually I love it. Facebook free = stressfree/bullshit free.
14. Ronin may or may not of stretched/strained/pulled but not tore his right rear ACL
15. I have a bet vs Calnan Mike Evans vs Brandin Cooks. NFL NUMBERS FOR $50.
16. Team Salad is still in effect!

Summers almost gone

The last week of August is always the shittiest. Its just a reminder that the summer is basically over and traffic will be back in full effect next week.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Timmy Barrett and his wife are having a baby girl in January. Congrats. I am taking January 11th in the pool.
2. I think Smiddy is still trying to make it to the draft.
3. A free Mavado watch is a nice score. Right Jeffrey?
4. I may be addicted to fantasy football drafts. I can not wait to draft for Rustys team. Then I am going to Marios draft Sunday night.
5. Ever want to just throat punch someone?
6. If you can give to help needy children down the cape https://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/MarkCorliss/dream-big-yogathon
7. Go big or go home -

8. Scotty really hates the group texts. LIKE DEATH THREATS HATES.
9. I hate shopping. I never realized it until Friday night. I just like to buy things and move on. I don't need to be meandering around.
10. Jeffrey only wants hot dogs made of pork, beef and turkey. No all beef for that kid.
11. Officially off the Face Books. Me and Mark Welch just living off line.
12. Mario is closing on his house on Wednesday. Painting party to follow.
13. Miller High Life or Busch Light?
14. Legit question : do people still play board games?

Thats all I got.

Im back

We can just start with this lovely song:


Because lets face it, you all missed my my dumb ass ramblings.

This is what I learned while away from a computer for 2 weeks:
1. Still not missing FB and may actually deactivate my account. Its kind of like living off the social media grid. I now know how Bear Grylls feels.
2. Taking a 2 year old to the movies is not my best idea ever.
3. Fantasy football season is here. Already had 1 draft and can't wait for the next.
4. Is there anything better than a month with 5 pay days in it?
5. Pretty sure I put an Indian through college with all the money I dropped at Foxwoods.
6. Some people do some dumb shit when they are drunk. Maybe its funny at the time but man is it dumb.
7. Justin "Jaydisco" Brennick is selling his house if you know anyone interested in it:
http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/5-Forest-Ave_Seekonk_MA_02771_M49488-77832
8. I know that people are bitching about the Ice Bucket challenge, Thanks MikeyT for donating, but you can not bitch about the results: 16 million raised so far. Calnan have yet to see your video or receipt for a donation.
9. Rumor has it Mike Layden bought a NH summer vacation spot.
10. Mike Foley does not and will not attend any type of going away party.
11. Moving is not fun but moving in the rain is even less fun.
12. Have you ever thought someone was stronger was physically stronger than they actually were?
13. Congrats to my uncle Steven "Willie" Whitley on becoming a grandfather. Also congrats to my cousin Stevie Lee on her daughter Dylan.
14. Mario is closing next week on his first house. Cant wait for the 1st bash!! Drinking shoes are shined.
15. I tried the 2 ingredient banana pancakes. Pretty much the grossest thing ever. Tasted like banana flavored scramble eggs.
16. When is Calnan going to start stepping up his #sundayselfie game?
17. How come Riccio hasn't invited us up to his Hampton Beach Real world house? Are we not friends?
18. Speaking of Riccio, I don't know who gives me more shit for not updating the blog, him or Chrissy.
19. How can people bitch that it was 56 degrees this morning? I love the Fall weather.
20. ADSL fantasy football draft is this Saturday at 3:00 At the South Side tavern. Come on down for some laughs. Lets guess how many Patriots players Big Show drafts.
21. Cuddling with your brother is not the least bit weird, right? I mean no homo.
22. Is this Red Sox season over yet?
23. Can someone explain to me, in simple terms, what the fuck is going on in Ferguson? Calnan basically said that America is broken.
24. Jeffrey makes fun of me for still playing words with friends. Most likely because I don't have any friends.
25. How did you guys let me go so long rocking a goatee? I mean honestly I looked like a super douche in some pictures!!

Hope to see some of you in my drunken stupor on Saturday.

PS Has anyone heard or seen Supah P since he got hot and heavy with his new lady?

Summer summer summer

Its already August and the summer is almost done. That makes me a sad Panda. WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP!

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Who would want to steal Paddy Calnans identity?
2. It is totally normal for a bartender to ask you if you are driving after having 17 beers, right?
3. Guardians of the Galaxy was awesome.
4. Why is it such a big deal when I don't wear a hat? I clean up ok.
5. Red Sox this and Red Sox that. They suck just get over it.
6. I have said it a million times, I do not understand why everyone gets all giddy about Patriots training camp but thank god football is back.
7. What is the deal with all this Ebola? I mean really should we be bringing that here.
8. Nothing worse than ripping one of your favorite pairs of underwear.
9. Everyday when I walk my dogs, I refuse to take my cell phone. Its the most quiet time of the day.
10. Being off Facebook is quite nice. It is great for the mind and the soul. Now if I could not check Twitter as much.
11. Derek's ding and dents moving company is looking to hire some part time summer help. Apply within.
12. Never again will I own 2 big ass dogs at the same time. I love em both but still uggh.
13. It is harder to cut cheese out than I thought it would be. I mean who wants a hamburger?
14. In grown hairs are by far the worst things out there. Especially in the neck area.
15. When you have lots and lots of shit on your mind and can not shut it off, is that a form of insanity?
16. If you don't like strawberry shortcake we can not be friends. Dead serious.
17. Who has a fantasy football draft at Foxwoods? Guess my other league is.
18. Is there a more freaky feeling than when your eye is twitching for no apparent reason?
19. Im debating giving up coffee? Good idea or bad?
20. When is everyone available to grab Fire and Ice for brunch?

You bitches know I am on vacation next week so I will do my best to update this thing.

PS when is Mike Foleys going away soiree?

Holy Lord! August is almost here

I have always heard the saying that as you get older the years move by faster but fuck me, this year is flying by. Its like two weeks ago we were all bitching about snow, then last week we were looking forward to the July 4th cookouts and now its like damn the summer is half over.

This is what I learned over the past weekend:
1. I can not comprehend working the over night shift as a regular shift. It is just not normal.
2. How long do you think you could unplug from social media - Twitter, Face book, Instagram and all the others? I say you cant last a week.
3. The food sucks at Beer works.
4. Mike G is alive and kicking.  He made a rare Massachusetts appearance on Saturday night.
5. Congrats to the Chiefdude on his official divorce.
6. Has anyone heard from Julie Nickerson? I hope she is okay. Its been a while and I know Chrissy gets sentimental about the girl who gave him his 1st hand job.
7. I love how everyone wants to go to New Orleans but no one will  commit. Whatever I am going even if I have to go solo.
8. It seems like there hasn't been any really good movies to come out this year.
9. You know you have really bad handwriting when you can't read your own even though you just wrote something down.
10. How come some people have issues with personal space? Like I dont need you invading my personal area when I am on the computer or the phone or am just talking to you in general.
11. Thoughts on your friend having a joint co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party? If you are in the wedding can you refuse?
12. What is the deal with poison ivy? Like can some people touch it and not break out or what?
13. It takes sunlight an average of 8 minutes and 20 seconds to travel from the Sun to the Earth.
14. Man Nanaca crash is on the android. I used to love playing that game for hours back in the day.

That is all I have for now. If you see my brother Ryan Friday wish him a happy 29th birthday.

Cancer Sucks

If this story doesn't hug at your heart strings you are basically an asshole. #Cancersucks

https://gma.yahoo.com/does-mass-boy-battling-cancer-want-birthday-bunch-215700731--abc-news-health.html

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. I may be getting too old for a 3 day bender.
2. Chrissy and Calnan may know too much about WWE movies.
3. Just bring your baby to the bar - no big deal:

4. Its always fun to meet random people from other states who just come to Boston to get wrecked. Always!
5. Hey TK I met the Sacred Heart University wrestling coach. He loves to booze. You would of been proud.
6. Some days it is better to be the lion than it is to be the lamb.
7. I have no idea or clue why my face is so dry in the summer.
8. Friday night Redsox games on the Monster are where its at.
9. Would you rather a vacation house on a lake in NH or a beach house down the Cape?
10. Fantasy football draft order is done. Now we just gotta figure out a venue to check out Welchies hot dress.
11. Chrissy hates tank tops but loves sleeveless muscle shirts.
12. I still really dont understand Snapchat.
13. Apparently, Jaydisco has teabagged Phil Mickelsons golf shoes before. Let that sink in.
14. New Orleans is booked. October 30th - November 3rd. Come on down.
15. What are the rules on planting things at a grave site. If you plant something are you responsible for upkeep on it?
16. There are so many different words for vagina and dick that its quite amazing.
17. Anyone up for a house painting party? The exterior. Beers and Pizza if you help or cash if you do it solo.
18. Jogging with 2 dogs while hung over is probably not one of my very best ideas this year. Dry heave city baby!!

Thats it for now.

Back again

I am back from vacation and fully refreshed, so lets bang out a black jack sized list - 21 mother fuckers!


This is what I learned while I was away:
1. Steven Whitley purchased his 1st 30 pack of his life. Back when he was drinking you could only get a case.
2. I guess today is National socialization day. I socialize every day.
3. The dating game is tough now a days. I think I would totally dominate the Match scene.
4. Congrats to Mike " Flounder" Foley on his job down in North Carolina. The things we do for our kids.
5. Fucking Matt Talieri, all that cross fit has me hood winked. Kid swan dove over this pool for $30( I laid next to the pool to show how long it was).

6. Hendu still gets to lay the pipe!
7. They are killing off comic book Archie? He will be getting shot taking a bullet for his gay best friend.
8. Have you seen Pawnography? Pretty sure you can dominate it.
9. Chrissy says he can go to New Orleans, Chrissys wife says other wise.
10. The Silent Funneler's bachelor party is in Atlantic City in September, did you get your invite?
11. It is always great to get a new cell phone.
12. Padraig "Mr North Shore" Calnan has been summering down in Sandwich. He says the Cape is not the south shore.
13. I am not the only person who wakes up with random bruises, right?
14. Has anyone heard from CVG? Chrissy is very worried about him.
15. Dealing with family drama is always fun. AND I MEAN ALWAYS!
16. Calnan how is operation bring back hand jobs coming along? Its been months.
17. Do people really get upset when they don't get mentions on the blog?
18. It is pretty early but people are already bullshit talking about fantasy football, come on Rob!
19. Do not try the southwest steak burrito from Dunks. NASTY!
20. The Southewick Zoo is legit. Lots to do with little children.
21. Iggles is moving, where no one knows but rumor has it he is leaving Mass.


As always I am sure I forgot way more than remembered.

'Merica

Its July 4th week, that means fireworks, bbqs and sun tans. Remember suns out guns out when you are drinking to 'Merica!!

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Apparently Jeffrey believes he looks like Luke Bryan.
2. Thanks again Jebby and the entire Chipman clan for yet another great Pig roast.

3. Are you supposed to hurt the day after getting a massage?
4. The #Sundayselfies are really taking off.
5. The cookout season is upon us and that means the coolers packed

6. How many Best friends can ya have?
7. Can you give up anal on the 1st date? Is that even legal?
8. Chrissy really knows how to pick out a great steak.
9. Zac Brown Band was awesome I would 100% see them again.

10. Fake boobs - what is your take? Yes? No? Depends? Who cares? You know what my daddy always said "more than a mouthful is a wasteful".
11. I like vicariously through Jaydisco's dating stories. I love them.
12. Cloyd River t shirts are the shit.
13. Smiddys not giving up on these Boston Red Sox and neither should you.
14. It takes 2 weeks to get a pretty decent beard.
15. Jeffrey and Chrissy are both being bitches about getting another tattoo.
16. Smiddy and Folan have yet to go to Twin Rivers.
17. Why is it, when you talk to people about making some sort of plans they are all gung ho and in but when it comes to paying for tickets or actually going through with the plans there are a million excuses.
18. People are really upset with the Celtics picks this year.

See you guys the 5th or the 6th.

I am back

Yes I did not update the blog last week. I was on vacation!! That means a vacation from this blog as well.

This is what I learned the last few weeks:
1. My grays are coming in fast and furiously.
2. We raised $1040 for Dana Farber. I have 23 shirts left over if anyone wants to buy one/donate.
3. There is not much to do in Oak Ridge, Tenn. Knoxville is another story -$.25 beers, Yes Please!
4. Staining a deck is a pain in the balls.
5. Jeffrey is really stepping up his selfie game.
6. Don't forget that Jebs family pig roast is this Saturday.
7. Smiddy really really wants off the group texts guys.
8. Folan is killing it at the ABG.
9. Congrats to Welchie and Brighto on winning the State dart title - C division. They are now moving on up to B. If anyone wants to try out.
10. I am a top notch gift giver.
11. Nothing worse than missing spots while putting on sun screen. My feet and toes are burned up.
12. Do you have friends that when they talk all you hear is Charlie Browns teacher?
13. The Coors light Summer Brew is shit! Not the shit just shit.
14. Babies love to eat sand. There isn't much you can do about that.
15. I fucking hate Wal-mart. HATE IT and the people who shop there.
16. Folan is trying to bring back overalls with one strap down. Good luck Folan.
17. There was a Mark Welch and Mike Layden sighting on Saturday night. Both are doing great.
18. Cook out at my house on July 5th. All are welcome. Ill have food you bring beers. Oh and if you are afraid of dogs, I have 2. Whatever food is left over there will also be a cookout July 6th.
19. Jeffrey is rocking a new truck.
20. It doesn't cost anything to be nice and smile every once and a while.
21. People were disappointed that Riccio didn't show for the crawl.
22. If you were wondering yes I am still rocking a mustache.
23. Mario and Smiddy are both off of FB.
24. Talking/texting in 3rd person is always fucking funny.

That is all for now. See ya Saturday at the Pig roast.

Game time is pain time

Well the Pubcrawl is this Saturday lets hope everyone is finalizing their staches.
This is the 1st time weathergged from my phone in a welcome time.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Chrissy is ready

2. You can still get after it at a 1 year old birthday party.
3. I believe in 2nd, 3rd and even 4th cif youances.
4. Cheesecake Factory or Joes American bar and grill.
5. Who wants in on project "Step up ya selfie game"?
6. Sometimes you just need a 12 pack and some nice weather to make your day complete.
7. If anyone needs some pub crawl t shirts this week. Hit Katie up she knows where they are at.
8. Rio is putting a trip to Finland together if anyone is interested.
9. Has anyone heard from Welchie or Jeffrey? Both seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth.
10. Congrats to the Heightz Boyz on their second straight MMDL championship.
11. Supah P is living life down in Pembroke. Got a dog named Dexter and rumors he may be bringing a lady to the crawl.
12. CVG is out gallavanting on his friends boat, pretty sure I didnt get a damn invite.
13. William J Smiddy is anti bullying. He is a champion of the people.
14. You can not put ice cream cake the fridge to keep it from melting.
15. Window or isle seat?
16. Riccio told me you can join the half mile high club if you jerk off in the airplane bathroom.

I'm sorry if there are any punctuation or spelling mistakes. It is kind of difficult to blog on his little ass screen.

Btw - Chrissy you are welcome

June is here

Look, June finally shows up and so does the nice weather. Coincidence? I think not! Now lets work on our tans.

This is what I learned this weekend:

1. Peggy O'Niels looks forward to Chrissy showing up more and more each year.

2. Jeffrey can not bounce back like he used to. The kid is working on a 4 day hangover.

3. Another year, another Dot day:

 http://youtu.be/ZQipC7O9WVo

4. Congrats to Uncle Willie on another Dot Day bowl off win, beating MikeyT by 2 pins and me by 3.

5. I heard that divorces come in fours. So here is to all my family and friends going through rough patches.

6. I had heard rumors of Buffalo Wild wings in Brockton being a train wreck but I was there Friday and they seem to be on top of their game.

7. If you need a MPC 7 shirt before the actual day, then make plans to meet up before next Monday. I am away all next week.

8. We have all been there, bombed liking everyones shit on FB. Hey Drunk happens.

9. What do you do when a contractor has tools stolen from in front of your house?

10. Some days I just don't give a fuck.

11. This walking cough/cold/chest congestion is going around. I can not seem to kick it.

12. Low fat cheese is garbage. I would rather use less regular cheese or no cheese. GARBAGE!

13. Now Chrissy is trying to work out going to Austin City limits music festival. He is working the birthday angle with his wife.  ITS EFFING PEARL JAM ON YOUR BIRTHDAY - ENOUGH SAID!

14. This may be the 1st summer in 10 years that I didn't have a wedding to go to. 2014 the year of Hope!

15. The older I get the more I realize its all the little things in life that make you smile and all those smiles add up to making your happy.

16. You guys all know I take the day after Dot day off its like my own holiday. So suck it, that the blog wasn't up yesterday.

17. The turn out doesn't seem to be as high in past years for the MPC7. Spread the word. I mean we are drinking for a cause.

18. There is nothing better than a day off and not doing a fucking thing. The biggest decision you have for the day is what movie you should watch when you get out of bed and move ya ass to the couch.

Thanks. I will try to blog next week but I will be in a training. Maybe Chrissy would like to give an insight on things he learned.

Are you ready?

Dot day is less than a week away. I hope you guys are ready. Stretch your legs and stretch your livers.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Kids need naps. If there is no nap then it is crank city.
2.. A root canal may be more pleasant than an over night shift.
3. I heard if your girl aint going down on you, barge into the bathroom when she is taking a pee and put ya penis in her mouth. Its like a reverse blumpkin.
4. The new X-men film is ok. I thought it would be better.
5. Nothing worse than being hangry.
6. No one wants to go to Austin City limits music festival with me. Whomp Whomp Whomp.
7. Old bitter ladies should not own dogs especially little dogs.
8. There is nothing worse than being sick when the weather is nice.
9. Sniffing Adderall is still all the rage huh?
10. Cookout at my place July 5th. Come on down.
11. People do not like celery in their potato salad, lesson learned.
12. I am invited to cookout just so that I will man the grille.


I am sorry to cut it short but this crazy weather is making work hectic.

Dot day is coming

Just a friendly reminder dot day is only 2 weeks away. I know Dot Out is waiting to see what Chrussy comes up with this year.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. KKaties burger bar in Plymouth is fucking legit. I gave it a 9 out of 10. Apparently they just opened another location in Marshfield.
2. I can not grow grass for the life of me.
3. Booze cruises are always a great time and booze cruises for charity are even better.
4. Be careful out there this summer the ticks are out and they are bad.
5. The new Spiderman movie is pretty good, so what if my wife cried 3 times during it.
6. I hate feeling rushed. It goes hand and hand with being late.
7. Bud heavy is not bad at all. Its 100% better than warm Bud Light.
8. Mario has shaved off his man beard.
9. Jeffreys looking for some help with leasing a car vs buying a car. Any help?
10. Patron shots are never a great idea.
11. Be careful around hot mozzarella sticks. Shits dangerous.
12. I can not believe that memorial day is this weekend. This year is flying by.
13. Apparently I share/overshare too much on Facebook. Hey its FB if you take it too serious that's on you.
Stalk on Stalkers!
14. Congrats to the Welch's on adopting a dog, now if they could only come together on a name.
15. I heard this am that the Red Sox owners are starting to panic because no one is going to their games. UHM your product is not good right now and you charge crazy prices based on opponent. Good luck with that.
16. There is nothing worse than a migraine at work.

This is all I have this week.

I hope to see you all at Jeffreys cookout Sunday. I will be the drunk guy coming off an over night shift, probably passed out in the corner.

Let the good times roll

The Bruins are up 3-2 and game 6 is tonight. Lets do this.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. There is always more to the story.
2. I guess Jeffrey doesn't even like curry.
3. Julian loves rice.
4. Who watched TV in low def? I mean really its just  barbaric.
5. Wu-tang clan still ain't nothing to fuck with.
6. Pub crawl shirts are and in and Mikey T is moving units.
7. Michael Sam did you have to go full boyfriend make out? I mean straight people aren't do that.
8. I don't trust people who don't nap.
9. Has anyone seen Lauren Brady? Last I heard she was moving to Alaska.
10. Anyone know of any tricks to staining a deck so it doesn't look choppy?
11. My WWF is not working all the time. It freezes up on me and boots me out constantly. Basically I hate its face.
12. Calnan is looking to bring back girls giving hand jobs. He wants an old fashion and he wants it now.
13. Speaking of Calnan, he hates Chrissy's reviews. He thinks that he doesn't put any heart and soul into them.
14. Shimmi is back and living in Norton. He plans on having a new a huge bash, as soon as his grass grows in. #newbuildproblems
15. How is it the Charlie Horse has $1 burgers on Tuesdays and $1.99 Miller Lite every day, and I just am finding out.
16. Some times it feels like there is not enough hours in a week.
17. Ever have a cold/cough that just never goes away.
18. Booze Cruise this Saturday in Plymouth to raise money for the Nstar Children's hospital walk.

Thanks