Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Are you ready?

Dot day is less than a week away. I hope you guys are ready. Stretch your legs and stretch your livers.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Kids need naps. If there is no nap then it is crank city.
2.. A root canal may be more pleasant than an over night shift.
3. I heard if your girl aint going down on you, barge into the bathroom when she is taking a pee and put ya penis in her mouth. Its like a reverse blumpkin.
4. The new X-men film is ok. I thought it would be better.
5. Nothing worse than being hangry.
6. No one wants to go to Austin City limits music festival with me. Whomp Whomp Whomp.
7. Old bitter ladies should not own dogs especially little dogs.
8. There is nothing worse than being sick when the weather is nice.
9. Sniffing Adderall is still all the rage huh?
10. Cookout at my place July 5th. Come on down.
11. People do not like celery in their potato salad, lesson learned.
12. I am invited to cookout just so that I will man the grille.

I am sorry to cut it short but this crazy weather is making work hectic.