Fantasy football season.
Suicide pools.
Pick em alls.
Soon enough white bitches will be all pumpkin everything!!
This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Jason Foley likes to get after it when he is unsupervised.
2. Anything worse than coming home to find a nice pile of dog vomit all over your bed?
3. The people watching at the Marshfield fair is something.
4. Sorry to say that Chrissy did not win his heat at the derby but man he was fucking shit up.
5. Hangover pukes are way better than drunk pukes.
6. Lock it up now, next years ADSL daft is August 26th...time to be determined.
7. If you are looking for a place to rent down the Cape next year, Jason is looking to buy a rental.
8. Do you think you could stay at the fair from noon to 10:30 pm? Chrissy and his kids do it every year.
9. Would you rather have your dream car built or buy one already built?
10. Who the fuck is watching 90 day fiance?
11. How much would it cost for you to get a TB12 tattoo? His actual logo?
12. Jeffrey skipped out on Summer Slam this year. Always his favorite event.
13 If you are looking for one of these...its in Braintree on someones lawn.
14. Nothing could be more annoying than 3 children screaming "Better left unread, than Dead", anytime you check your phone in the car.
15. Honestly why can't they make a pair of socks that always feel like the first time you put em on?
16. The start of the draft:
The end of the draft but well before bar hopping:
17. Mike Foley just buzzes around town like a social drinking butterfly.
18. Anyone up for a beach day this Saturday? I heard it is gonna be 82 and sunny...HMU!!
19. Chrissy is back on nights so the day drinking starts again.
20. Chris Leaden is looking for donations so he can take batting practice of Rocket Roger Clemens, so far he is up to $117.89. Every bit helps.
The TMX year end wrap up is here, its the country edition ya'll. It was a long ( too long for some we're sure) 17
weeks but it has ended and a champ has been crowned. The new belt owner will be
DMC who won for the first time in his ten years in the league!! TMX predicted
this in the preseason!! The beer bitch will be Supah P's and the dress wearer
with be Equalizers. Lotta laugh this year as always and we hope all enjoyed the
season and will be back next year lets take a brief look at each team.
First overall was DMC who had the first pick and was able to ride AP and make
some moves to get top D Broncos in a lopsided trade. DMC started the season off
with a last place week 1 and wasn't til week 8 they made their move hopping in
the 2nd spot then taking over number one in week 10 and never looking back! DMC
also became the first team in history to post 200pts in a week doing it TWICE.
All in all a great season put together with a solid draft, nice trades and
waiver wire moves. The hunter becomes the hunted next year but the belt is in
his possession all summer.
2nd overall was Jaybirds. Second place is a great place to be in and TMX is
always staying positive but this team was built to win and questions will be why
it didn't. TMX stats dept which is well documented to be run by a crack group
due to the budget problems at drunknothings , found out that Jaybirds had the
top 3 wrs on his roster ALL SEASON. Those 3 totaled 1,050 points this season!!
Equalizers entire team only scored 700 more points for the season!! Jaybirds
never spent a day below second place but one has to wonder, how with those numbers,
he didn't run away with the league. There will be some soul searching at
Jaybirds but TMX is confident he will find the answers to get over the hump.
3rd place this season was Mr. Don't ask him he'll tell you Charlie's Angels.
The Angels were up in the mix all season except when they dropped to 6th in week
8 and seemed to be stuck but in week 15 with nice waiver help and some bad
management from the teams ahead they made their move and secured it in week 16.
Charlies' when not congratulating themselves was often on TMX with having some
of the best guys benched in the league. Not sure if making the right plays all
season could have led to a better finish? Next season Charlies should be in the
hunt and telling the league about it as he does it.
4th place this season was Beach Bums. This is the first time since joining
the league that Beach Bums didn't win a week, Just like Cal Ripkens steak, this will not be broken. The Bums seemed to be in a funk
all season long (Or maybe it was all the teams Coach K was involved in). They never went below 7th place and I'm sure felt they were one
player or week away but it never came. 4th place is by no means a bad season but
the two time champs have to consider it an off year.
5th place this year was Slippery Wizards. The defending champs finished
strong but never had anything going. A draft that saw them take Lynch, Murray
and TY Hilton as the first three guys proved to be too tough to comeback from.
Wizards were the only team other than last place Equalizers to spend more than
one week in the basement. They did finish 5th on the year which was the highest
they got all year so maybe they can build on that (are we counting the play offs too).
6th place for the year was Creepshots. Creepshots was in the mix all year
dipping to 6th in week 5 but then controlling the third spot from week 7-14!
With a great trade to get possible MVP Cam Newton they look like a sure thing
til the week 15 DISASTER. Creepshots chose to sit Cam who put up 61pts!! That
signaled the end for Creepshots. TMX did some investigating to see if collusion
was involved cuz the Newton benching was that inexplicable but we came up with
nothing (Good work Wes Cash)!! Tough way to end a season but TMX is sure they will be back and will
take risks next year too.
7th place this year was Skza's Squad. Skza's did their usual getting points
where you wouldn't think they would and starting guys who were hurt.One of only
two teams that didn't win a week, Skza's started out in the top 5 but then later
in the season when the byes hit and they started more zero's than anyone in the
history of ADSL ( #statsbyme) they were stuck in the 7 and 8 slot where they
would land. Next year a focused Skza's could make a run for the money
8th place this year was Black Dynomite. It a season that can only be labeled
a disappointment, BD held on to the number one spot for 4 weeks then held the
4th spot looking outside at the money for 4 more weeks only to collapse at the
end and end up one spot from beer bitch. Black Dynomite I'm sure is circling the
wagons ( see what we did there) and checking their networks to find their way
back to the top.
9th place and beer bitch this year is Supah P's. Supah's got hit by injuries
right out the gate losing Nelson and Fat Eddie lacy had an off year as the
number one pick. The scrappy Supahs found life on the wire and rose to 4th but
by week 11 they locked themselves into spot 9 never to rise back up. A rough
season for Supah's but they managed to the end and will be back in the mix next
year.
10th place and the dress wearer this year is Equalizers. The season they had
was for the ages complete with a final week of 46pts! Equalizers were in 6th
place after week 1 then never got pass 9. Furthermore they were in the basement
every week but FOUR. Let that sink in as TMX reminds you in week 8 they got a
season high 72pts from Drew Brees!! Surprisingly the even won a week. Just an absolute remarkably bad season that
deserves an equally remarkable dress. Don't disappoint Equalizers.
Great season filled with laughs and lets all pay up and make sure the
winners get their money. TMX thanks you for reading. Have a great offseason and
see you next year. TMX out.
Week 16 is in the books and it looks like the dust has settled and the money
spots as well as the beer bitch and dress wearer is clinched up. The third place
spot is still a distanct possibility separated by 55pts but it would take a big
week.
Tough time for the Beach Bums to have a bad week but lets give ol friend Frank
Gore a call. Hey frank its TMX hows it going? " oh TMX good to hear from you?
hope the holidays were good, its going ok thought I got traded to a team that
wanted me but guess not" Come on Frank its not that bad I'm sure Beach Bums
traded that lemon away with the intent on using you in the stretch when your qb
is half dead so the team needs to run? " you would think but I put up more
points than BOTH rbs he started combined and he had me on the bench! He knows 60
year old hassleback cant throw over 5 yards, right, HE KNOWS THIS!!" Geesh I
guess he doesn't? Anyway Frank another solid year good luck in the playoffs if
you guys make it! " thanks TMX good to see you still go faith!!" Lets give
Captain Kirk Cousins a call from the winning Slippery Wizards - Hey Kirk its TMX
you ever heard of us? You're not a guy we've ever called " OH man course I
heard of you guys, read you every week, you see my week ? Me and my man Reed lit
it up YOU LIKE THAT" well slippery wizards liked it TMX just reports but you did
have a great week " great week is right YOU LIKE THAT" uhm you already asked "
tmx YOU LIKE THAT? " we get it Kirk that's your catch phrase " YOU LIKE THAT"
your catch phrase you may be overdoing it there buddy " oh yeah YOU LIKE THAT"
You know what Kirk good week happy new year TMX is done. Click. Wow some guys
seem a little too full of themselves these days. Lets look at the standings
going into the final week.
1. DMC.......................
2. JAYBIRDS....................................97PTS
3. CHARLIES ANGELS.......................168PTS
4. CREEPSHOTS..............................224PTS
5. BEACH BUMS................................224PTS
6. SLIPPERY WIZARDS.......................257PTS
7. SKZA'S SQUAD..............................276PTS
8. BLACK DYNOMITE..........................289PTS
9. SUPAH P'S.....................................420PTS ( ACTUAL POINTS NO
PLAY ON NUMBERS THERE)
10. EQUALIZERS.................................536
Well the third money spot seems to be the only race we got left even that
will take a huge week and a massive Charlies Angels collapse which quick check
shows you all his guys will be playing for something. There is still 75 dollars
out there to be won so lets play it out. The last week is your last chance to
make some cash. Good Luck and happy new year. TMX OUT.
TMX week 15 Christmas edition is here. As is the custom we keep it quick and
simple as TMX knows the crew likes to get to spiking the eggnog for the holiday
parties.
No team by team recap but we will still make some calls up first the
Carolina Defense who had been carrying Black Dynomite but this week only put up
6pts. Hey Panthers D whats good its TMX " oh man TMX great to hear from you hope
your not calling bout that punk OBJ that fool still crying?" Well we are calling
about the 6pts you put up when Black Dynomite needed you? " oh yeah. Anyway we
are tired of talking about that OBJ clown, yeah we brought bats on the field but
no biggie we always do, don't see why everyone is talking about it. We are just
trying to go undefeated" Uhhm well TMX isn't talking about it we want to know
how you had such a bad week? " I mean OBJ isn't even that good, don't get the
big deal? Norman is defensive player of the year but everyone talking about OBJ
he's a nobody" Well guys I see this is going nowhere, we get it OBJ thing was a
big deal but its over. Well for some!! Have a good Christmas. " yeah you too TMX
hope OBJ gets coal guys is out of control does it just to get his name out
there, tired of it." Uhhm yeah. Up next a TMX first instead of calling a player
on Charlies Angels we are going to call Los gm of Black Dynomite with some
great news involving Charlies Angels. Hey Los its TMX ! " Fury, Fury? That you
Fury? " No its TMX fantasy football reporting site. Calling to tell you that you
are no longer the most hated team in ADSL! What a Christmas present! " Wait, so
the league got a new black team in there? cuz I know that's why y'all be hating!
Plus I win at the draft every year! Had a wagon this year too!! " Well no theres
not a new black team ( not that adsl is against it) but Charlies Angels and
their self congratulations has just recently been name most hated team in the
league ( poll was anonymously conducted and two people still picked you Los, with the Beach Weasels still received a vote). "
oh wait that dude is hated cuz self congratulating? I've been doing that for
years. Garbage. Its racial, you guys cant even let a black team be most hated!!
" Well we were hoping this would be good news guess not? "Later TMX and this
racist league, I'm still most hated just wait til next years draft". Well we
tried to bring holiday cheer to Black Dynomite . Guess not?.
Well, well, well its tight at the top and cant go without mentioning
Creepshots getting cute sitting Cam and now is on the outside looking in at that
money!! TMX investigated possible collusion/point shaving with Beach Weasles but
so far we cant confirm or deny! The final two weeks should be fun. Merry
Christmas and lets finish strong with no injuries and the right plays as there
is still 75 bucks a week out there. TMX OUT
Week 14 is in the books. The last three weeks are here, with separation at the
top and bottom, enough to all but clinch for the season and the dress wearer.
Anything can happen but its looking like a new champ and new dress wearer are
going to be crowned.
Lets get to this weeks scores. First place again this week
was DMC with 156. DMC continues to get big games when needed even when Big Ben
puts up only 9pts it didn't matter cuz OBJ put up 37 on Monday night and Gurley
and Jeffrey had great games. DMC looks locked in and TMX looks to be right
predicting they would win it all. Once again proving there is no such thing as
jinxes in fantasy football (Not to be confused with the SI cover Jinx).
2nd place this week was Charlies Angels with 137 . A
balanced attack with only Amendola not getting in double digits and once again
the bench mob came up big as Hightower was picked up and left on the bench
breaking Iggles long standing rule " you picked him up you play em" Third place
this week was BeachBums with 132. Beach bums push for the top is being carried
by red hot Wilson who again put up a 40 burger. Beach bums or Beach weasles as
they are called in some circles is within reach of the money and picked up
Edelman in hopes of collecting in the last three weeks. 4th place this week was
Creepshots with 132, Killer Cam is carrying the team for Creepshots so one can
only wonder why Ginn and juice wasn't used as he put up 30 on the bench cant be
making those mistakes with beach bums breathing down his neck!!
5th place this
week was Jaybirds who rode the Fitzy-Marshall stack but got nothing from Mathews
and titans. Jaybirds continued to fall from the top and may have a fight to hold
off 2nd if he doesn't find some consistent rb production. 6th place this week
was Slippery Wizards with 117. Wizards failed for the first time this season in
a waiver move going for Jameis instead of well anyone else. The defending champs
should prolly start shining up the belt he'll be turning over. 7th place this
week was Skza's Squad with 116. The Baldwin move is real people! A three td game
but whats even more real is the fact that Skza had another zero in the lineup.
We had to let go our stat guy but this has to be a record number of zeros
started. Amari Coooper the zero this week. 8th place this week was Black
Dynomite with 114. Panthers d was the only bright spot as Hopkins, Crabtree and
Maclin had off games at the worst time. Bd is a long shot to get up to third but
its possible if enough guys get hot. 9th place this week was Supah P's with 81.
Hurns and Hawks d have been steady producers for Supah but this was the wrong
week to sit Fat Eddie. Lacy Sundays came and went on Supahs bench. Supah's seems
in a battle to get out of beer bitch and sitting fat eddie may not be the right
move!!
Last this week with a new low 63 pts was Equalizers. Dalton went down and
if its wasn't for 25 from pats d it could have been even worse. Equalizers
looked locked into last but on the bright side the bench went off for 101 and
theres hope for winning a 2nd week! Lets make some calls.
First up Big Ben. Hey
Big Ben its your friends at TMX whats good? " oh tmx what a season we are having
( loud chewing noises) how you guys doing?" Uhhm Ben you eating lunch? " nah
just a snack i love snacks, you see what happened to Dalton this week? Broken
thumb hope its not his mozzarella stick thumb, ( more chewing noises) I love
mozzy sticks how bout you guys at TMX wanna split an appy of mozzy sticks
yummeee" Well we called to talk football and your subpar performance anything on
that? " you say subs? yeah i'll grab a sub, lets hit up Primanti brothers!! Man
TMX i love subs" You know what Ben good luck with lunch and the rest of the
season too much chewing in our ear for this convo, Later. Wow Big Ben loves his
food apparently lets give Alfred Blue a call from the losers. THE NUMBER YOU
HAVE DIALED HAS BEEN CHANGED. click. Hmm well TMX cant reach Blue but he's still
being started. Unreal Equalizers.
Well its coming down to 3 weeks left and thats three chances to make a move
and for everyone else its three shots at 75 dollar weekly prize. Lets hope for
no more injuries and no more ZEROS started. Good luck. TMX out.
The wild season is winding down and week 13 was
high scoring, lets recap. This weeks winner was overall leader and TMX preseason
pick to win it all DMC with their SECOND 200 pt week. Finishing with 201 pts led
by a couple of 40 burgers from Big Ben and ARob, DMC was able to just ignore AP
and Gurley getting 4pts. DMC was quoted halfway through the 1 oclock games that
" this is gonna be a tough week" yeah guess not. Second place was Beach Bums
with 174. Week started off well with Thursday night action and waiver pick up
Rodgers getting 29 one of FOUR guys scoring in the 20s any other week its an
easy Beach Bum win but not this one. The 174 did move Beach into 4th and they
are now in the spot to jump into the money. 3rd place this week was Creepshots
with 141 nfl mvp Newton dropped a 50 burger and Demarco Murray went crying about
more touches. Creepshots is being chased down for that third spot and will need
more big weeks from Killer Cam to hang on to that or possible slide into 2nd
with 4 to go. 4th place this week was Skza's Squad with 140. Waiver master was
led by Baldwin ( alec? billy? ) and Buck Allen who was the hot pickup and didn't
disappoint dropping 34 in his first start. Skza is still stuck in the bottom
four but has to be the hottest team down there with his waiver prowess.
5th
place this week was Jaybirds with 126. Jaybirds had a terrible week from Muddy
Rivers and luckily were bailed out by Marshall and Brown. The hunt for the top
got a little bit harder and now hes closer to 3rd than 1st. Its gonna take big
games from Muddy and hopefully the rbs can put up numbers for Jaybirds. 6th
place this week was Charlies Angels with 118. Brady led the team with a 40
burger and Watkins and Amendola killed it on the bench with a combined 50.
Starters Sanders and Landry had 4!! TMX budget cuts cost us the statistician
but we'd be curious to see what place Angels would be in if they didn't lose so
many points each week to the bench mob!! 7th place this week was Black Dynomite
with 115, Rodgers and Maclin had decent weeks but once again the rb position
killed them. ALf ( still being played) had 1 point and an off week from Panthers
d has moved BD back and possibly out of the money picture. 8th place this week
was Supah P with 107. Supah got ZEROS from lacy and Cameron and still put up
107. Dan Bailey saving the week with a 14pt performance. Supah is still in a
battle to get out of beer bitch and he will need better weeks and no injuries to
do it. 9th place this week was Slippery Wizards with 106. RBs Rawls and Williams
both scored 22 while no one else was in double digits. Wizards are still in the
bottom four fighting to get separation. Last place this week was Equalizers once
again with 93, Dalton put up 27 while the 3 pats started totaled only 14pts and
Dez ( refused to trade) had another off week and Al Blue only put up 1 pt.
Equlizers are dangerously close to clinching the bottom spot unless they get hot
fast!!
Lets make some calls, first up Alfred Blue . ( ring , ring ) " the
number you have reached has been changed to an unpublished number" WOW that's a
first ol Alf Blue changing his number on TMX dirty pool. Well we will figure
that out but we got someone else to call from Equalizers James Jones. Hey Jimmy
J its TMX whats good? " oh wow what an honor TMX I've heard all about you, Aaron
, Fat Eddie, Jordy and Cobb say great things about you hows it going?" Well its
good for us but how about you? You were traded to Equalizers for the Denver d
and in the five weeks you got 34 pts? Denver d got 30 this week alone? " oh man
well that's just a dumb trade TMX how would the league even allow such a TRAID?
I got nothing to say on that but i'll try and put up something this week but man
DENVER D for me? wow. I'm speechless." Ha well good luck Jimmy. Lets call Todd
Gurley from the winners DMC. Hey its tmx what good Mr. Gurly aka mr
untradeable (loud thud) Todd you there what happened sounds like you ran into a
wall? " yeah TMX real funny with the rookie wall jokes I dropped the phone, look
I'm trying to get on the right page with my qb right now I really don't have
time to talk especially about the rookie wall, call me next week I'll be back I
promise" Confident rookie and sorry but rookie wall jokes always crack TMX
writers up.
There are four weeks left, that means four more chances to win the 75
bucks weekly money(or $300 left on the table for the mathematically challenged) and to improve on you spot and or catch the guy in front.
There were no trades at the deadline and talk that a lot of teams are just
content. Hope that's not true!! Nothings been decided yet and there are still
bets riding. Good luck in week 14. TMX out.
A wild week that began with a
thanksgiving feast of games has come to an end and TMX is here to recap it.
There are five weeks left and the trade deadline is this Saturday so its do or
die time for a lot of teams in the hunt for the top or bottom. Here's how it
went down. First place this week was Charlies Angels with 165. Wr's carried the
Angels with huge production from Watkins( 35) and Landry (34), Brady dropped his
steady 29 on a tough Denver d. Angels are looking to make a push for the top and
are well positioned with D Johnson taking over in Arizona and Amendola back they
may have more Sunday night self congratulations in their future.
2nd place this
week was Slippery Wizards 152. Wizards were led by Carr and Megatron's big
weeks and the former champs have climbed away from the basement with
consecutive second place weeks. 3rd place this week was DMC with 142. AP is
looking like a fantasy mvp candidate and earning the number 1 selection. OBJ
also put up another big game but Gurley was a disappointment with 7pts. DMC is
in the driver seat and will need everyone playing at the top of their game as
the final four weeks to hold off Jaybirds. 4th place this week was Skza's Squad
who rode Baldwin's 40 burger to 140pts and his other waiver pickup Buck Allen
also had a decent game while Brees struggles away from New Orleans continued.
Skza's are still locked in the bottom four battle but look to be making all the
right moves and will continue to have to do that to stay out of bottom 2. 5th
place this week was Jaybirds. Muddy Rivers did his thing with 41 and Marshall
was on the bench for 34 while standouts Jones/Brown/Fitzy had rare off weeks and
L. Murray was victim of being on a passing offense. Jaybirds gets production
from an rb and with those 3 wr's and Muddy he has a great shot at catching DMC.
6th place this week was Black Dynomite with 128. Maclin and Panthers d both had
huge games to lead BD but the rb combo of Miller and Morris only put up 11
combined.
Black D is tied for the finishing in the money right now but will need
to get rb production and/or a red hot Rodgers to get over the top. 7th place
this week was Creepshots with 116. Waiver add Spencer Ware led the Creepshots (
guess anyone can run in KC?) but Gronk almost season ending injury put a scare
in their hopes to finish in the money. Creepshots also may have a qb controversy
as benched Stafford dropped a thanksgiving 49 burger !! Gonna be interesting if
Creepshots can make a move to fill the gronk points or tries to ride it out til
he's back! Either way they have a great shot to finish in the money right now.
8th place this week was Beach Bums with 106. Eli and Green had ok games while
Demaryius and Eagles D combined for 8 points. Russell Wilson said hello from the
bench with a massive 50 burger! Ouch. The Bums are within shouting distance of
the top but leaving 50 burgers on the bench this late is very unBeachbum like.
9th place this week was Supah P. Supah P's team looked like a giant red cross
unit this week losing stud Eifert, Cj and Hurns but still mangaged 106 with a
big game from Ravens d and the triumphant return of Fatso Lacy. Supah's is in
the bottom 4 battle and will need to be healthy or may be getting beers for the
boys on draft day. Last place this week was Equalizers with 75. Dalton and Blue
put up 25 and 14 but no one else on the team managed double digits. Its been a
tough fall for Equalizers and they are not digging a deeper hole each passing
week. They will need to hope for waiver help or a BLOCKBUSTER trade to get them
back on the move upward and out of the basement. Lets make some calls.
First up
old friend Dez Bryant. Yo dez its TMX whats going on? " oh TMX haven't heard
from you all year but I did get the card when I got hurt man you guys always
class acts why you calling me?" Well dez you're really hurting the Equalizers
they refused to trade you and now last 3 weeks when they needed you the most you
put up 22pts TOTAL " Wait wait TMX you coming at me like this? YOU COMING AT ME
LIKE THIS? I'M OUT THERE GETTING OPEN EVERY PLAY AND PLAYERS BE HOLDING AND MY
QB BE THROWING TERRIBLE BALLS I MEAN COME ON TMX" Whoa easy easy dez don't be
the crybaby they say you are we are just asking the questions. " wait crybaby?
you talking bout Beach Bums and his hating? I'll slap him like they "alleged" I
did to my momma and you can quote me on that. Everyone love dez. EVERYONE LOVE
DEZ. click." Wow guess Dez is up on his "haters" Lets call Sammy Watkins from
this weeks winners. Hi Sammy its TMX every heard of us? " heard of you? course
we have our owners tells us to stay by the phone each week, shocked you're just
calling me now." Wow that's a little smug? I mean we call the winners teams and
who does the best that week? why do you think you should get called? " no I mean
we won it Sunday night owner took the whole team out after the victory and you're
not calling til now?" Well you know there were games Monday and TMX waits till
all the scores are in? " yeah whatever TMX call us next week when we win again
prolly have it wrapped up by the late game and our owners will be texting
everyone we won. Later." WOW guess that team is taking after the self
congratulating owner just fine!
Well there are 5 weeks left and the trade deadline is Saturday so this is
when the cream rises to the top. Five weeks ago the current first place team DMC was in 6th place sitting 86pts
back,these next 5 weeks, teams can make some moves and set
their spot in the standings. Lets hit the waivers, stay healthy and make that
last trade to get you to the top! Good luck. TMX out
There are 6 weeks left in the season and all the
byes are done so this is the time that makes and breaks seasons!! Lets get to
the scores. First place this wild week with 137 points were the Equalizers. The
now healthy Equalizers got big games from Dalton and Jones as well as Pats D and
TMX friend Alfred Blue finally found the endzone!! TMX newly installed basement
cameras saw numerous moving boxes in the basement as Equalizers are on the
move!!
2nd place this week with 125 were the Slippery Wizards. Waiver wire fill
in Rawls carried the Wizards with 49pts. The rest of the team barely showed up
except for Ryan and his usual 20pt game. Slippery WIzards are still in the
bottom four battle for the basement and if they cant get wr help they may head
back there!! 3rd place this week was DMC with 118. Palmer led the way with 37
but late wr pickup Crowder hurt the squad putting up 1 point. It may be time for
the double tight end set as Delanie Walker continues to post good numbers. Black
Dynomite came in 4th this week with 117. QB proof Hopkins continues to do his
thing with 31pts and panthers d helped out while ALF posted another zero at the
rb spot. Black D is still in contention for the money but has not been able to
make a move in the last few weeks to gain ground. 5th place this week was Beach
Bums with 116. The beach bums traided for a qb which they then dropped and
picked up Wilson who carried club with 31pts. Stewart has been sneaky one of
the steady rbs this year and was good again this week. Beach Bums are right near
the top and looking for one big week to make it into the money. 6th place this
week was Creepshots with 110. Newton carried the team with 41 and did all he
could to get the win but the only other player with double digits was kicker
Catanzaro, cant win a week with that kind of out put. Creepshots is currently in
the money and needs to make each 40 burger cam puts up count.
7th this week with
101 was Skza's Squad. McCoy and Mcfadden (sounds like a law firm) carried the team but rookie standout Cooper
put up a 0. Skza is in the bottom four and now gets his new toy Brees to try and
put him away from the basement should be an interesting 6 weeks. 8th place this
week were Jaybirds with 98pts. Off week by Muddy Rivers ( 4 pts) and ivory kept
the Jaybirds from making a move back to the top. Jaybirds is within striking
distance of catching DMC and his team is loaded so much so that he dropped
Lafell this week to solidify his bench with vjax who put up td on the bench!
Gonna come down to the right plays the rest of the way for Jaybirds cuz he
obviously has the talent. 9th place this week was Charlie's Angels with 97.
Dougie Martin put up 235 rushing but off week from Brady and TWO zeros put up by
Jones and Ebron hurt the team. Angels could make a move to the top and probably
would be closer with the right movess.
This off week pushed them back a little
and should be interesting if God Brady can carry him back near the promise land
with his wr's going down. Last place this week is Supah P's with 85. Supah was
hit with injuries once again as fantasy MVP candidate Freeman got concussed and Flacco is now done for the season. Supahs in now in the bottom four fighting for
their lives.
Lets make some calls. First up from the winning team Equalizers new
qb Andy Dalton. Hey Andy its TMX whats good " TMX? Are you the people who say
things meaner than that jerk JJ Watt?? Well I'm not talking to you guys CLICK.
OUCH. Well guess the red rocket told us? Good luck rest of the year Mr
Sensitive. Lets try another call to Supah P's Tyler Eifert. Hey Tyler its TMX
what a season you are having! " hey man I'm just doing my thing getting open
scoring tds" Certainly are with 11 on the season but could use a few more yards
that would really help out, think you can get Dalton to look for you more
outside the redzone? " man I'm not sure if you know Andy but he's a little
touchy so I cant really complain to him he'd freeze me out, he hung up on me one
time you know!!" Oh Tyler believe me we know!! Anyway good luck with the rest
of the season Supah's could really use you and tell Andy Tmx says hi!! " Thanks
man I'll try and I'll definitely tell Andy!
Its Thanksgiving week so there is a few big Thursday games and the byes
are gone this is the official start of the homestretch so lets hope everyone is making the right plays and all the injuries are behind us. The trade
deadline is approaching and the waivers are helping teams so make sure you are
looking to better your squad! Have a safe and happy thanksgiving filled with
tds. TMX out.
With 7 weeks left the cream is starting to
rise to the top and the beer bitch and dress race is on!! Lets check out the
scores. First place this week with 162 was DMC. The TMX favorite has finally got
it all together somehow with Big Ben in and out of the lineup. Palmer picked up
the slack for Ben and number one pick AP ran wild for over 200 yards! DMC left
117 pts on the bench and that has to be addressed if they want to stay on the
top. No room for the bench mob to explode with teams gunning for him now. Second
place this week was Beach Bums with 148. Beach bums were led by the non noodle
arm Manning and the Bryant in Pittsburgh that is actually a legit weapon. Beach
Bums also made a huge play on the waivers getting Pitts D to put up 26. Going
into Monday night action with AJ and Hill he almost seemed assured a win but
both put up weak efforts and Beach bums landed on its face however they are
still in striking distance of the top as of week 10 so its not all bad. Third
place this week was Slippery Wizards with 133. Wizards are riding their waiver
guys Carr and West and trying to get away from the cellar they spent so much of
the season in. Wizards need to find a defense and probably admit they got a
lemon in the Diggs for Gore deal.
Fourth place this week was Jaybirds with 131.
Bye week blues led to Jaybirds starting Taylor and no Julio. Brown continued to
tear the league up with another huge week. Jaybirds are now through the byes and
ready to try and climb back to the top. Making the right plays or pulling of a
trade that allows them to set it and forget it is gonna be crucial. 5th place
this week was Supah P's with 116. Supah went to the wire and picked up and
played Flacco who led the team but bad weeks from CJ1K and Eifert killed any
chance of a big week. Freeman coming back off the bye should get Supah back on
track as he is fighting to separate himself from the cellar chasers. 6th place
this week was Creepshots with 109. Gronk and Mr TD a game Decker led the team
but newly acquired Cobb and revenge gamer Vereen hurt the squad. Creepshots are
within reach of the top and will need everyone to step up to catch the top two.
7th place this week was Black dynamite with 108. BD was led by Rodgers but got
little help from the wr corp that has carried him as Crabtree and Garcon totaled
9 points. Its gonna be a tough climb back up for BD if the wr don't help out the
hurting rb situation with only Miller there to carry the load but i'm sure they
will work something out. 8th place this week was Skza's Squad with 93 points.
Amazing week for Skza with 93 points despite getting MINUS 6 for Noodle Arm
Manning. You read that right!! Langford led the way for the guys on the team
that scored positive points and with the trade of the week BREES AND JENNINGS
FOR NOODLE ARM AND BLOUNT Skza looks ready to get some separation from the
bottom with that fleecing ( FYI - TMX is investigating the collusion charge made
by Slippery Wizards who offered Ryan and Lynch for the same players.) 9th place
this week was Charlie's Angels with 86. Angels were hurt again with another big
game on the bench! Ebron, Sanders and top kicker Mcmanus killed the team with a
combined FIVE points scored! Charlies's took a big step down and is now moving
closer to the lower half. They will obviously need to play the right guys and
can easily get back to the top half and make a move for the money. Last place
this week was Equalizers. Brees the normal leader put up a bad week 15pts and
was immediately TRAIDED. Crowell and Jones put up zeros and Dez only had 7!
Cooks led all scorers with 25. Equalizers are now in last and looking for help
in a lot of areas. They are gonna need big weeks from Dalton, Dez and Blount to
climb out of the basement or make another trade?? Seem to be doing well in that
department.
Lets make some calls.
First up starting running back for Equalizers
Alfred Blue. Hey Alf its TMX whats going on? "TMX why you guys calling me? This
Vince? Wilfolk you pranking me again? No way TMX is calling me i'm basically
fantasy irrelevant" No NO come on Alf don't be so hard on yourself we know
you've had one good game all year and are struggling but you were picked up on
waivers OVER Darren McFadden " haha really man that team must not be doing well
I mean since I took over I've only got 12 total points why would I be starting?
i'm an rb 12 in my own rankings? Well if they start me i'm gonna try and break a
couple runs this week ok!! " Wow sounds good!! Well theres something we don't
get that often. Good luck Equalizers and you can thank TMX for the motivation!!
Up next Big Ben for team DMC. Hey old friend its TMX whats good? " oh man
nothing good just eating couple Primanti brothers sandwiches and trying to heal
up for the stretch week" Woah those are huge sandwiches you say a couple? " Yeah
come on TMX don't fat shame me, i'm on the bye this week and was resting up last
week then I had to come in off the bench and help my team!!" Yeah about that
almost burnt DMC with that move why were you second string if you could play and
play well? " Yeah I know right put up 38pts who knew? Well i'll be healthy after
the bye and ready to go! and Antonio you eating those fries? TMX we are eating I
don't wanna be rude but its lunch time I'll talk to you after the bye, k? " Uhhm
ok Ben, it is 9:30 am, enjoy your "lunch"! Big appetite apparently equals big numbers!! Here
are the current standings.
DMC took over the top spot jumping past the bye week blues of Jaybirds.
Creepshots and Black Dynomite slipped back a little and Charlies and Beach Bums
flipped spots and are still within striking distance with 7 to go. The bottom
half is tight with the Equalizers making moves with Skza's Squad to try and get
away from the bottom. The waiver and trades have made a huge difference in a lot
of teams so this crazy year may come down to a trade or wire pick up so don't be
shy. Good luck in week 11. TMX out.
The back half of the season is upon us and things are
tightening up at the top with this being the closest this late in the season in
ADSL history!! ( TMX stats with another gem) Lets get right to the recap. First
place this week were Slippery Wizards with 165. The cellar dwelling Slippery
Wizards were able to get big weeks from waiver pickups Carr and Williams who
combined for 71pts. Another wire helper Giants d put up 20 with a late garbage
td. Slippery Wizards trying to avoid first to worst season is in a dogfight and
barely climbed out of the basement with the winning week. 2nd place was Skza's
Squad with 155. Skza's is led by Noodle Arm Peyton Manning and still had all but
one player in double digits this week!! He gets a quality qb he could be
dangerous over the last half. 3rd place was "Mr nobody will trade with me"
Jaybirds with 153. Antonio Brown put up 47 with a whopping 284yds rec!! The
Jaybirds once again left over 100pts on the bench and continue to try and play
the perfect lineup! 4th this week was Creepshots with 147. Led by Newtons 39,
Miller 29, and Murray 25 the Creepshots thanked miller by trading him to Black
Dynomite for Cobb. A trade that may push him to the top and may also bring the
team directly behind him to the top as well!! 5th place this week was DMC with
145. DMC put up 145 with playing two guys who scored 0!! DMC was TMX preseason
favorite to win it all and the depth and managing will be tested as Big Ben is
down again (Can't figure out if it is a Hammy Dance or a Voodoo Doll). 6th place this week was Supah P's with 145. Supah got over 20 out of
Eifert, Hurns and Evans. Usually a big trader Supah P's has been quiet on the
trade front this year with many calling them the Silent P's. 7th place this week
with 134 was Black dynamite. Rodgers and Crabtree put up a combined 76 but the
rbs totaled a measly 8pts! BD addressed that by trading for Miller and should be
pushed toward the top. 8th place this week were the Equalizers with 125. Redhot
Brees continues to drop 40 burgers on everyone and Dez got back with 23. Gonna
be a fight for that dress but Brees is ready!! 9th place this week was Charlie's
Angels with 106. Off weeks by Martin and Brady hurt the Angels but Watkins 31
on the bench may have hurt more. Brady should be able to keep the team near the
top but the others have to step up or maybe a trade to spice things up could
help. Last place this week and the only team that didn't reach 100 was Beach
Bums with 73. Rough week started on Thursday and continued right through the
weekend. Only two guys got double digits for the beach bums this week and
benched Frank Gore actually scored more than every starter! Tough week all
around but the Beach Bums have been know to bounce back lets see what they got
especially now that the most wanted qb Andrew Luck is now dealing with 2-6 week
recovery!!
( ^ Beach Asses ^)
Lets make a couple quick calls. First up from the Slippery Wizards
old friend Matty Ryan. Hey Matty Ice its TMX whats good? " oh man its all good
man finally got a win, I carried the team to victory last year and I hope to do
it again! Dropped my usual 20pts just grinding out here helping the team! Yahoo
feels good to be back on top! " Uhhm Matty you actually got benched and a lot of
Slippery's owners blame you for the dismal season? Derek Carr is the starter? "
Yeah I mean I threw a lot to Julio found some other guys, over 300 yards just a
great team win, Julio pass the apple juice we celebrating tonight!' MATTY MATTY
ARE YOU LISTENING? YOU WERE BENCHED" Whoa TMX was you yelling? You guys
changed? Look I went to a Jesuit college I stay away from negativity. Jeez we
are coming off a huge win and you're yelling. I'm going to have to let you go.
Click." Well ok guess Matty Ice is slightly out of touch. Wowzers. Lets give a
call to Beach Bums underperforming star Jeremy Hill. Hey Jhill its TMX whats
going on? " Nothing TMX just doing my thing, trying to get points for my team"
Yeah about that J you are having a rough season haven't reached 100 yet? What
the deal? "Look i'm not getting into but its that Gingers team and I can only
hope they realize winters coming and we need to pound the rock. I'm not gonna
say much more but I was on a championship team last year and I'm hoping to do
the same! Feel me TMX? I'm out!! Well he sounds motivated but motivation aint
the only thing ya need good luck JHill. Lets get a look at the standings
1.
Jaybirds
2.
DMC.................................11
3.
Creepshots........................31
4.
Black Dynomite...................49
5.
Charlie's Angels...................94
6.
Beach Bums.........................119
7.
Skza's Squad........................146
8.
Supah P's..............................156
9.
Slippery Wizards.....................183
10.
Equalizers.............................197
The
race is on. The top is as tight as its ever been and its shaping up to be a two
team race for last as Slippery Wizards and Equalizers are fighting back and
forth. The byes are coming to and end and the waiver wire has helped as well as
trades. 8 games left are a lot for teams to make moves but they better start
NOW. Lets hope for an injury free week and see if someone can top the 200pts
like DMC did this year!! Good luck. TMX out.
If someone send you a Hammy dance you bring a good luck hamster...
Week three is in the books and once again we had big name players coming down
with injuries.
Many in the league are starting to think there is a voodoo hammy
dancing jinx running around ADSL.
TMX insider Wes Cash is currently doing
investigative research!! Hope to find out if voodoo hammy dancing jinxes are a
thing or not. Lets get to the week 3 review. This weeks winner was Black
Dynomite with a season high 174. Black Dynomite got first round pick Bell back
but his 23pts weren't the story it was Monday night magic as Rodgers and Cobb
went off for 49 and 31 on Monday night!!! " Black Dynamite is stacked from front
to back and ready to cruise like a Cadillac" per team management. Okie dokie. Second place this week was Jaybirds with 164. Julio and his 20 targets for 39
points and Brown again led the way. Brown may be in a bit of trouble losing Big
Ben but Marshall is a wr1 and Fitzy put up 34 so there is no need to worry at wr
spot in Jaybirds land. Muddy Rivers putting up 10pts may have to be addressed!! Third place this week was DMC. Despite losing Big Ben DMC put up 153. AP, Olsen,
J.Jones, and Bills d made up for Big Ben and Rookie Gurly putting up a combined
6pts!! Picking up Dalton should save DMC and keep him at the top. Fourth place
this week was Creepshots with 138pts Mr first half Randle and Target monsters
36pts led the way in a week were Mega and Gronk had off weeks. Creepshots may
have to look and see if he can move Stafford or at least try and start Tannehill
to see if he's the answer. Fifth place this week was Charlie's Angels with 135.
Huge week from Cards d and Brady paced the Angels. The running back stable led
the team down with Jones and CJ putting up 4pts combined. A quick look at the
bench sees the 91st overall pick outscored the 90th this week. QB controversy?? Sixth place with 134 was Beach Bums. Beach Bums had a huge 49 burger from AJ
and 28 from Charles and newly acquired Eli put up 23 all were needed as the
Bums got ZEROS from Andre Johnson AND Dolphins d!
Seventh this week were Supah P's
with 131. Supah was led by an impressive week from Freeman 44pts and the
triumphant return of Mike evans all of which was needed as Supahs also had two
players put up ZEROS, Eifert and Williams put the goose eggs up. Supah has the
answers on the bench with Wright and Chris Johnson putting up 20 and 32 so just
needs to make the right calls going forward. Eigth place this week was Skza's
squad with 117. Noodle Arm Manning maybe turning the corner as he threw for over
300yds and 2 tds rookie stud Cooper also continues to shine, Off weeks by
McCoy, Forte and Edelman hurt the Skza's this week but that shouldn't be the
case most weeks. Ninth place this week was Slippery Wizards with 102, The Wizards
are in terrible shape as if they had played their ENTIRE roster they would have
had 154pts ( no one on a bye) which would have been good enough for 3rd place
by one point this week!! Ryan and Gore helped the team but Lynch putting up 2
and prater dropping the impressive MINUS 1 did not!! Last place this week was
Equalizers with 101. Steve smith answered the bell with 42 while Luck continues
to under perform did have 20 aside from pats d getting 11 no one else reached
double digits! Back to back last place finishes has to have Equalizers circling
the wagon for answers, lets hope they hit the waiver lottery or make a trade to
figure this out.
Jaybirds looking to go wire to wire is now in serious jeopardy as Black
Dynomite has found its groove. The bottom of the league looks to be separating
itself early and it could be a long season if teams don't find their ways with
trades or waiver help!! Its a long season but teams still need to make the right
plays each week and hopefully avoid anymore big name injuries. No calls this
week as financial crunch at drunknothings had the phones shut down. Hopefully,
they can get the bill paid by next week or we may have to make home visits. TMX
out.
