Thursday, November 12, 2009

What would you do?

(I changed all the proper names)

What would you do if you received this random email:


Dear Iggles,

I am taking a chance that this might be you. I am hoping it is the Iggles who had parents named Papa Iggles and Momma Iggles.

I am B. S. (B.) and was H.before I was married. Jeffrey is my son now age 35 and married and a baby on the way. Momma Iggles and I were talking on the phone and your name came up so I said I would see if I could find you.

I am living in Winston-Salem, NC. I went back to school and I am a social worker. Jeffrey and Laura live in Middle River MD and both work at Johns Hopkins Hospital. My dad passed away August 2008. Mom lives in a condo not far from Walter and his family in Clarksville,MD.

Hope this is you and you will let us know how you are.

B.


This is what I told Iggles should send back:

Hey B.,

Thanks for writing to me but now is not a good time. I was recently demoted from my position of head manager of the domestic alliance department of civil engineering. They were nice enough to not fire me but now I am in janitorial services. I know, I know at least I have a job but now due to my meager pay I can no longer afford my 678 square foot condo that I share with my fiancĂ©. The bank is in the process of foreclosing on us and to top it all off my fiancĂ© was let go from her position of head barista at the local Starbucks. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse my cat, Muffins was diagnosed with Feline Leukemia and now I have to put her down. So tell Jeffrey good luck with the baby and all.



Sincerely,

Iggles



2 comments:

Iggles said...

I still think someone should e-mail this lady I was killed in some horrific accident. Then my parents would stop trying to find me.

Steve said...

i think you should all just go on springer and get this over with. SPRINGER'S BEEN SOLVING THIS TYPE OF SHIT FOR YEARS