Friday, January 15, 2010

Hell Nights - Smiddys 31st Bday

So last night we decided to go to the East Coast Grill for Hell Night/Smiddys 31st bday. We started off the night with a round of Russian Roulette Style Deviled Egg (2 – 8 Bombs). Smiddy was the unlucky bastard to get the super hot egg.

Chrissy ordered the Wings of Ass Destruction (7 Bombs) plus the Pasta from Hell (9 Bombs)(Please Take Us Seriously When We Say DO NOT Order This Dish). Welchie ordered up the Masala Rubbed & Spit Roasted ½ Chicken (3 Bombs). Smiddy ordered the Pampas Style Grilled 16 oz Sirloin with Cherio Chimichurri (5 Bombs). Jeffrey and I both ordered the Chipotle Braised Pork Shank with Salsa Fuego (4 Bombs).

I sampled everything but Welchie’s chicken. The best thing was the steak. It was so good that Jeffrey started chatting up the grill guy and scored us a free steak. The pork was alright but I wouldn’t order it again. Then there were the wings. At first you take a few bites, and think “After them hot deviled eggs this is pussy shit (at least that’s what I thought)”, THEN IT HITS YOU! Your lips get numb and then the burn starts. Needless to say I only had one wing. Lastly, Chrissy’s Pasta from Hell came out. I think calling it Pasta from Hell is being nice actually. It could be called “This Shit Will Burn Your Lips, Your Mouth, Your Soul, and Lastly Your Ass Hole” because that is exactly what it did. Chrissy took a first bite, then a quick second bite and everyone at the table started nodding that maybe it isn’t so hot. But when he took that third bite it was all over! The sweat started and the waters couldn’t come fast enough. After eating some of Jeffrey’s steak, I decided I had to try the Pasta from Hell. BAD IDEA… If you can imagine the hottest thing you have ever ate then multiply it by 100 then all of a sudden someone sticks a red hot poker in your mouth - that is probably half as hot as that pasta was.

The only thing that comes to mind when talking about this Pasta From Hell is this scene in Armageddon(instead of an asteroid its a plate of pasta):

Oscar: Ok, Mr. Truman, let's say that we actually do land on this. What's it gonna be like up there?

Truman: 200 degrees in the sunlight, minus 200 in the shade, canyons of razor-sharp rock, unpredictable gravitational conditions, unexpected eruptions, things like that.

Oscar: Okay, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks. That's all you gotta say, scariest environment imaginable

That little quote sums up my whole feeling on the Pasta From Hell.

There is the Menu in case you guys feel like trying it next time it comes around:

Hell Nights

LUCIFER’S LIQUID COOLERS

Red Hot Raspberry Margarita… Our House Margarita with Raspberry – Habanero Puree (3 Bombs) 8.50

West Indies Bloody Mary … Spicy Tomato Mix & Real Inner Beauty Hot Sauce (4 Bombs) 8.50

Hot Cherry Bourbonade...Makers Mark, Cherry – Cayenne Syrup & Fresh Lemonade (2 Bombs) 8.50

Hell ‘Tini … Classic Martini with Scotch Bonnet Soaked Vodka (5 Bombs) 8.50

Molten Mai Tai… Rum, Ginger, Thai Chiles, Cranberry & Orange Juice (3 Bombs) 8.50

The Typhoon…Orange Vodka, Peach Liquor, Cloves, Mango & Chile Rim (1 Bomb) 8.50

Kickin’ Caipiroska…Muddled Sugar, Mint, Togarashi Dust with Vodka Fresh OJ 8.50

“The Flaming Hole” Bowl For 2 … Five Rums, Gin, Brandy & Fruit Juices in a Scorpion Bowl 14.50

Hurler from Hell … Single Raw Oyster Swimming in a Pool of Hell Vodka (6 Bombs) 8.50

Milk Priceless

RAW BAR FROM HELL …OUR TORTURED SHELLFISH

½ Dozen Island Creek Oysters Pickled Cherry Pepper Puree (4 Bombs) 14.00

½ Dozen Pat Woodbury’s Littleneck Clams with Orange–Chipotle Salsa (3 Bombs)10.00

“Jamaican Connection” – ½ Dozen Hell Oysters with a Scotch Bonnet Sausage Link (6 Bombs) 15.00

Jumbo Shrimp Cocktail with Detroit Diesel Horseradish Sauce (2 Bombs) 3.00/ea

Jonah Rock Crab Claws with Mango – Jalapeno Mojo (2 Bombs) 3.00/ea

APPETIZERS FROM HELL

Russian Roulette Style Deviled Egg Challenge (2 – 8 Bombs) (Entire Table Must Order – No Cowards) 2.00 a Fool

Crispy Smokin’ Hot Pork Spare Rib with Guava Lava Glaze (3 Bombs) 3.00/ea

Korean Glazed Smoked Pork Ssam with House Kim Chee & Ssamjang (3 Bombs) 9.50

Grill Blackened Peel N’ Eat BBQ Shrimp New Orleans Style (5 Bombs) 12.50

Rhode Island Stuffed Clams with Chourico, Corn & Pickled Pepper Glaze (3 Bombs) 10.50

Crispy Jamaican Beef Patties with Tomato – Tamarind Jam & Curried Jicama Slaw (4 Bombs) 10.50

“Wings of Ass Destruction” Original Recipe … Brined, Jerk Smoked & Grilled Chicken Wings with Real Inner Beauty Hot Sauce (7 Bombs) 10.50

Szechuan Steamed Mussels with Ginger, Sambal Olek & Fermented Black Bean Paste (4 Bombs) 11.50

Pasta From Hell with Sausage Bolognese (9 Bombs) 10.50 (Please Take Us Seriously When We Say DO NOT Order This Dish)

ENTREES FROM HELL

Harissa Smoked Lamb Shoulder with Merguez Sausage, Chick Pea - Spinach Tagine & Minted Yogurt (7 Bombs) 25.50

Chipotle Braised Pork Shank with Salsa Fuego, Queso Fresco, Black Beans & Chile – Cumin Roasted Butternut Squash (4 Bombs) 23.50

Thai Seared Bluefish with Hot Prik Pow, Aromatic Herbs & Ginger – Chile Roasted Green Beans (3 Bombs) 22.50

Masala Rubbed & Spit Roasted ½ Chicken with Mango Chutney, Curried Sweet Potato Mash & Hot n’ Sour Eggplant (3 Bombs) 16.50

Pampas Style Grilled 16 oz Sirloin with Cherio Chimichurri, Grilled Hot Peppers n’ Onions, Fried Sweet Potato & Grilled Avocado (5 Bombs) 27.50

Jerk Grilled Salmon with Curry Pickled Pineapple, Fierce Avocado Relish, Rice n’ Beans, Fried Sweet Plantains & Real Inner Beauty Hot Sauce (5 Bombs) 24.50