Thursday, January 12, 2012

TMX ADSL YEAR END...

The fantasy football season has ended and Tmx is here to report all about it!! Tmx is a fantasy reporting media committed to 20% TRUTH!! The final week of the season saw the SSSC Complex shutdown with renovations and updates. The winner of the week was the Beach Bums who held off the team Hoodsie. Beach Bums put on an impressive 3 week run with 189, 130 and 171, showing the league that the old standard of 100pts no longer equals a good week, in a valiant effort for a 3 peat. The Jerkshots finished in last for the week and took a tumble down the stretch. Tmx cant offer any advice to help him for next week but will attempt to review each team. The first week without fantasy brings a relief for some and others were praying for one more week to make a move or to win the weekly winner prize. This season only two teams failed to win a week. Jerkshots who started off strong and Hoodsie who finished with an impressive push and by most accounts had his weekly win in the last week til Bradshaw decided to do nothing in the second half of the late game!! Tough luck there. Now Tmx will do what its done all season and HELP the teams of the league. All Iggles Team you're pretty much the most hated team in the league and Tmx refuses to offer you anything but HAMMY DANCES.

First team up is The White Devils last place dress wearers. It was nearly a record breaking season for the Devils as they almost broke the league record for least points!! Injuries are a part of fantasy football and Devils season started off by losing their number one pick Jamall Charles and never fully recovered. Their leading scorer was Mike Wallace who didnt even break the 200 pt mark for the season . Mason Crosby a kicker finished higher than his 2nd rb. Tmx did extensive research and the thing that stands out the most is the budget conscious approach the Devils chose to employ. They finished with the lowest transaction spent despite being in the best possible waiver spot a majority of the year. Its almost as if they decided to save their money for a dress. The devils were able to win week 7 but never could get a consistent rhythm going. The obvious advice going into next year is for the Devils to save up and be willing to spend and pick up the right pieces to replace the injured and non producing players or they could just go to the draft and live off others waiver money that lands in the pot? Choice is yours Tmx dont judge just helps!!


The ninth place and beer bitch this year is Dillons Villenz. Villenz fancies himself as the smartest GM in ADSL or just refuses to accept the help TMX has offered him. He was able to win 2 weeks during the season as TMX advised him to make trades and hit the wire but late in the season he seemed to just sit and get ready to get beers at the draft. His last week quote when told his MVP Mccoy was out was, "yeah I'm not worried and dont need Ben Tate" congrats Villenz that move cost you beer bitch by one point. Mccoy was Villenz leading scorer dropping an impressive 325 and was followed by Eli Manning who he picked up in a great trade. Janikowski was able to outscore the wr production for the Villenz which he struggled with all year. The last week of the season Villenz got some insider info(obvi not from TMX) that the RAMS would rest their starters and decided to sit top wr Brandon Lloyd which would have moved him into 8th. TMX obvious advice for Villenz is LISTEN TO TMX they are after all here to help. Tmx was who told you to hit the wire and pick up players that got you out of last as well as told you to make trades that got you your second leading scorer simply put TMX is here to help! Take the help its free and Tmx knows you love free! Final TMX advice for Villenz that we hope he uses is bring a box to carry the beers and make sure you write down the order cuz Leslie may be on one and if Mungo is there she will be distracted.

The 8th place finisher is L8nite Menu. A frustrating season for L8nite who had the number one pick and vowed Mike Vick would win him a week and one week is all he could win. One of the more active guys on the wire and trade market L8nite was constantly moving and shifting players trying to climb to the top. He was locked in a battle with his arch-rival Villenz for the beer bitch spot which he eventually won by ONE POINT!! Despite a relatively disappointing season Mike Vick was L8nite's leading scorer, the number one pick only gave him 196pts. L8nites activity on the wire is evident in the fact that late season pick up Mike Bush finished 53pts behind top pick Vick! The other top performer for L8nite was Ravens D which was his 2nd leading scorer!! Tmx research indicates that L8nites problem may have been crumbling to the pressure of the number one pick and spending the rest of the season trying to recover. Tmx likes the go for broke style but in this case it didnt bring him the title. The obvious advice in this case is go for broke on the wire and trade market as that seems to work but play it safer on draft day especially at the number one spot. Tmx knows that the beers at this draft will be satisfying as Villenz will be serving them up no doubt early and often.

The 7th place team this year was Jerk Shots. The Jerk Shots were a lighting rod from the draft day 20 minute 2nd round pick right up to the invention of the hammy dance. They were in the mix right til the end when ironically the healthiest team in ADSL history lost their top backs. The Jerk Shots are one of only 3 teams in the league with 2 players getting over 300pt yet still he couldnt pull out a weekly win. The frustrating Philip "muddy" Rivers led the team with 315 followed by the 20 minute 2nd round pick Wes Welker with 307. Tmx in the preseason picks that never got published due to contract issues with Drunknothings.com had picked the Jerk Shots to finish in the money based on their lineup its only weakness being the defensive which it addressed by using 5 D's throughout the season. Tmx did break news on several trades that Jerkshots refused to accept one of which was for top tight end Tony Gonzalez so the obvious advice for the Jerkshots is to look to make a move rather than be so loyal to some players. The only team in the league trying to fleece any other team is All Iggles. The secret partner of the Jerk Shots or whoever is running the team will have to learn that the league doesnt end at the draft and titles are won during the season.

The 6th place team this year was The Madd Fucking Niggerish Towelman. Tmfntm fought his way from the middle of the pack to the money and then starting qb and leading Tmfntm scorer Tony Romo went down in the last week and Tmfntm fell out of the money!! Four players coming in over 200pts usually equals money but not this year. Many in the league say it was from never starting Tim Tebow benching the holy one but Tmx doesnt believe in such a conspiracy! Tmfntm won week 10 and seemed to get in a groove even had Eddie Pinnette screaming at the SSSC complex as his team racked up points to inch to the top. Tmfntm hit on some big plays at the draft like Jimmy Graham, Julio Jones David "fucking" Akers and the revived Steve Smith and was able to survive CJ and Chris Wells off years but at the end it was too much to take a 0 from Tony Romo in the 2nd to last week of the season as team leaped past him. Tmx advice for Tmfntm is for next season not to cross Tim Tebow(not full believers but just in case Tmx doesnt want to get shut down) its the only explanation how a season can turn so quick or I guess dont draft Holy Romo as he breaks hearts. Tmfntm stayed in it till the final week and THAT is what fantasy is about well that and Tmx reporting, anyway we move on.

The 5th place team this year was team Hoodsie. Team Hoodsie started off the season losing Peyton Manning then had injury issues with Andre Johnson, Moreno, Fjax, Hightower etc but somehow was able to make a push toward the top!! Hoodsie was the other team that couldnt put in a weekly win despite to 2nd place finishes in the last 2 weeks as Matt Stafford caught fire. Hoodsie is the type of team that showed the league what using the wire and trades can do, never sitting still he racked up some waiver costs but he was still just 20pts out of the money. Tmx believes this is what fantasy is all about. Overcame a draft that didnt go his way, overcame injuries, and just plugged his way into a title oops sorry the reality part of fantasy is he got a respectable 5th place spot. Back up Qb Matt Stafford led Hoodsie with a whopping 458pts and Hoodsie got 5 others to get over 100pts. Tmx cant offer much advice to a team that did all it could and finished in 5th spot except maybe to try and get his team to come out of the gate faster or make the league last longer as he finished one of the hottest teams!!

The 4th place team and Tmx preseason pick to win it all is team No Legs. No Legs finished 13pts out of the money and easily would have had that if he didnt sit Jordy Nelson the last week. A glaring error no doubt but not much can be said as he was able to rule the wire with the pick ups of the year Jordy Nelson and Victor Cruz both got over 140pts and Cruz a later addition was his 3rd leading scorer behind Aaron Rodgers who despite sitting out the last week ended up with 515pts 2nd most in the league!! No Legs had issues with rb with only Turner pitching in but he was still able to add and plug in players to make it work. The season was just as all No Legs or Skza or Street Pharmacist or Bring Back Mungo seasons are- they were in the mix and would be there at the end. This year one error was all it took to keep No Legs from the money though he did pull off two weekly wins. Tmx advice is simple we play til week 17 so you gotta play your players till the end. Jordy Nelson breakout year wasnt over in week 16!!!! Nothing to be ashamed of overcame rb issues and played til the end.

The 3rd place team is Sflabo Home for Rehabilitated Wizards. Led by leading rb Ray Rice 355pts and two more players over 200 Sflabo pulled the trigger on a deal when starting qb Matt Schaub went down and was able to jump into the top with 2 weekly wins and despite losing Matt Forte. Pick ups Marion Barber, Laurent Robinson and J. Stewart helped him late in the season. Sflabo was active on the wire and offered up his tight ends all season long but in the end was able hold off the most contested spot up top which came down to the final game. Tmx was impressed with the draft and trading from strength that Sflabo was able to do the only advice would be to not have an All Iggles mvp on your team and swing a deal so your not stuck. A solid season.

The 2nd place team is Beach Bums. The Beach Bums were led by league MVP and leading scorer Drew Brees who led the league with 537pts as the fourth qb taken. Not much can be said about the Beach Bums who won the last two leagues and was on his way to a 3rd with some successful trades and great pickups. The blue print is set that if you want to win this thing you need to have a headquarters like Beach Bums and stay on top of everything from draft day til week 17. Tmx is pretty sure he's scouting players right now. Beach Bums had an answer for his injuries and played the right players as he has done the past 3 years. Beach Bums won 2 of the last 3 weeks and finished with 4 weekly wins. He may have finished 2nd and had his three peat stopped but he did finish first in transaction once again. Tmx advice for next season is to keep your head on a swivel you're the one people want to knock off.

The winner of this years league was the Slippery Wizards. The Slippery Wizards join 06 Team Rookie(rob); 07 Afro Samurai ( mike and los); 08 Dead beat dad (deegs) 09-10 Beach Bums (rob) as winners of Adsl. Slippery Wizards had to put up the most points in league history and win 4 weeks to get the win and was led by 3 players with over 300pts including new superstar Rob Gronkowski. The Slippery WIzards led the league from wire to wire and despite using a league high SEVEN defenses(I guess defense doesnt win championships) he was able to pull off the beer bitch to championship run. Tmx advice to Slippery Wizards first is to stop complaining as the Wizards complaining also went wire to wire and hope that they are able to find another hot draft pick to overcome losing their number one rusher!!

Well the season is done and we can go back to not worrying about who to play and who to pick up for another year. Thanks as always to the commishner for doing the job none of us want to do but we all cant survive unless he does it. Till next year. TMX..................

5 comments:

Julie N. said...

I won my league this year & had the most points! #awesomedrafter - Boo Yah.

Anonymous said...

Every comment by this girl is about herself? She related to Bill Smiddy?

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