Big News

Since nobody wants to write about this stuff I guess I’ll do the dirty work.


Jenna Jameson gave birth to twin boys this week and the father is MMA fighter Tito Ortiz. Boy oh boy….where do I start with this one? First of all where is my girl StyleGal when I need her….I didn’t even know they were dating. Of course Jenna is the most recognizable figure in porn since Dirk Diggler so I’m not sure you would broadcast the fact you are trying to have a Porn Baby! But I need to know these things. I have tons of questions about this: Was this the quickest delivery ever? I just can’t picture all that much pushing going on in the delivery room….I’m just saying. If only I had known about this I would've checked to see if an Over/Under had been posted in Vegas for how long the birth would last. Anybody have a guess…..no more than 30 minutes between the time her water broke and the first baby was born? Maybe 30 minutes is too high. I'm positive we all could've made money on this.

Tito Ortiz? Seriously Jenna you could’ve had any guy you wanted and you picked Ortiz. I would say I’ve lost some respect for you but lets be honest….you are the Queen of Porn I already had no respect for you. If you are Ortiz how long did it take for you to ask for blood tests to confirm it’s yours? 5 seconds? 10 seconds? 2 minutes at the very most. And how about these twin boys. Being a twin can be tough enough…but then throw in the fact you’re mother is the number one reason the porn industry makes approximately $13 billion dollars a year. These kids will be ridiculed, teased, and tortured daily throughout elementary, junior, and high school until they are forced into the porn industry themselves. Now that would be some irony!

Out!

Costanza Alert – Week 16:

"And so, without further ado, I give you... the candy lineup."


Well it’s week 16 boys and girls and I don’t think the two races could be any closer. Before we delve into that subject it’s time to take a look at the side bets that are on the table for ADSL Season 3. Dead Beat Dad and Madd Fucking Niggerish are wagering dinner over who has more fantasy points between Chris Cooley and Antonio Gates. We’re not talking about dinner at McDonalds either…..if NIGGERISH wins then he gets a free dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. If DEAD BEAT wins then NIGGERISH has to drive out to Natick and pay for dinner at British Beer Company. Going into Week 16 DEAD BEAT leads NIGGERISH by 1 point. Next up is the $100 bet between JSL and Defending Champs on who will score more fantasy points between Felix Jones and Anthony Gonzalez. JSL looks like he’ll be writing a check but to save time he might as well make it out to ADSL since CHAMPS still hasn’t paid the money he owes. The last side bet is between JSL and Smidawgs…..I’m not sure how much they bet but I sure hope for DAWGS sake it’s only $5 because the bet is the Patriots will not win the Superbowl.

On to the Start of the Week. We did have a little problem with the Ladies at Costanza Central this week. We suggested in the Weekly Review that we would have a Start of the Week for Street Pharmacist, Sflabo, CHAMPS, and Smidawgs. One minor oversight……we forgot to negotiate this with the Ladies. So the Ladies went on strike and now we got picketing outside of the headquarters, I can’t get any deliveries (including my coffee), and the phone at the Iggles Household is ringing of the hook at all hours of the night with prank calls.

After a long negotiation we managed to get this settled and the Ladies have reported back to work. Here are their Starts of the Week and please keep in mind the Ladies are on a roll with correct picks two weeks in a row. Try not to screw it up like PHARMACIST did last week.

PHARMACIST – Brandon Marshall over Roddy White
FLABO – Terrell Owens over Greg Jennings
DAWGS – Warrick Dunn over any of your other RB’s
CHAMPS – Tony Scheffler over Visanthe Shianco

Don’t even analyze these kids….just do it and forget about it.

A few questions:
1. Need a big week from you Brad Childress. Is there any change Big Red talked to his former protégé this week?
2. Brett Favre in the Pro Bowl? Really? I’m fully in favor of banning any award/invitation that has more than 20 people voting on it.
3. I’m not going to take up space posting YouTube video so here is the link. Does this guy remind you of someone we know?
4. My picks on the Saturday hockey odds:
Injuries – Over 4.5
Blood Spilled – Over 2.5
Fights – Under 2
Chrissy’s Goals – Under 1.5 (he has no chance)
People Who Show – Under 25 (snow storm)



Cheerleader of the Week –TWINS
Larisa & Marisa Coy
Zodiac Sign: Pisces
Hometown: Baytown, Texas
Hobbies: The twins enjoy watching good movies, dancing, shopping and baking!
Their favorite holiday is: The twins love the Christmas season because they enjoy spending time with their family.