Mr. Booze asked me today why I hadn’t posted anything on the Blog recently. To be completely honest I haven’t really had anything to say. Chief Dude has the posting hot women covered...Mr. Booze keeps us all up to date on the day to day kind of stuff….Big Show has the responsibility of posting articles that are way too long to read…Stylegal is too busy working…and Katie K has a wedding to plan so she gets a pass…and it’s sort of an unwritten rule about no politics on the Blog. So I don’t really have too much to say until football season. We discussed doing a ‘Day In The Life Of Iggles’ segment….but we both agreed nobody would ever believe half of the shit that happens to me or the strange things that I think about. And I don’t have the energy to try and prove that something actually did happen and wasn’t made up. Well….tonight is a perfect freakin’ example!
I went out to get dinner and on my way back I’m driving down the road doing maybe 30 MPH……I just made a turn so that is the only reason I was only doing 30. Anyway, I’m doing 30 and a freakin’ bird flies right into my windshield, then proceeds to roll up my windshield over the top of the open sunroof and then off the back of my trunk. I look in my rear view mirror and the poor bird is flopping around the road and all of the cars behind me are swerving all over the road trying to avoid this thing. The bird was obviously not going to make it…..and every car goes bye me looking at me like I’m some sort of serial killer. WTF!!!!!!! And this wasn’t some George Costanza ‘we had an agreement with the pigeons’ type of crap…..this damn bird came out of nowhere and dive bombed my car. I’ll admit there isn’t much I’m good at…but if there is one thing I can do is drive with the best of them. So if there was any way I could’ve avoided this bird I would have. I love animals…I don’t even kill spiders I find in the Iggles Household.
Obviously I feel horrible about this….but what exactly are my responsibilities in this situation? Do I go back and try and save this bird? It’s an option but I was always told an injured animal is a dangerous animal and if this thing is willing to commit suicide doing a faceplant on my windshield I’m pretty sure it is diseased. Do I call somebody? If yes, then who? Animal rescue….police…fire…..I have no idea. I don’t want to be that guy that calls 911 for a dead bird, I’m almost positive that isn’t what it’s for. And finally what kind of sign is this? If a black cat walking in front of you is bad luck I can’t imagine what a bird flying into your windshield means. But it can’t be good. Right? Ugggghhhhh….I’m going to be up all night worrying about this.
And for all you bastards that give me a hard time about being anti-social this is exactly why I don’t go out. This kind of crap happens to me all the fucking time.