Monday, December 30, 2013

Year end

I am not one to make New Years Resolutions but can we all agree that we can try to be a little bit nicer this year? I will try to have more patience, be a bit nicer and try hard not to swear as much. I wish you all well on your resolutions.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. When you see a black guy playing 3 $200 hands of black jack at the casino it may be Ty Law. Just saying.
2. Who needs fancy steaks at Fred and Steve's when you can have all you can eat KFC.
3. Lemon Pepper pork roast is fucking legit and I don't even like lemon flavored things that much.
4. I can understand how people stress out around the holidays, just get drunk. It makes it way easier.
5. How do you feel about January 11th as a Yankee regift swap/Patriots play off party? Sounds good right?
6. In case you didn't notice there is a count down till Dave and Doe come back from Baltimore. They said 2 years TOPS - Count down till December 31, 2015 is on. Only 730 days away.
7. Hey new boots, FUCK YOU!
8. I am surprised that more people don't know how busy the movies are on Christmas.
9. Hey Dunkins your coffee is getting really watered down lately. WHAT THE FUCK!
10. Brian Folan hates text message groups.
11. Everyone once and a while Jeffrey gets on 9 but he can't bounce back the next day.
12. Do not fuck around with Uncle Juicy.
13. Fantasy football is all done, now I can focus on my fantasy hockey team.
14. Screaming 2 and 3  year olds will make you never want to have children ever!

Till next year.

Friday, December 27, 2013


Tmx is here with the Week 17 PREVIEW!! Look this is why we lift all those weights all season!!

It's the final week and everything is on the line!! Tmx realizes a lot of leagues are over, due to uncertainty of players blah blah but this is what fantasy football is all about!! To the other leagues that say "oh no my studs aren't playing what do I do", well why don't you take off bye weeks to?? Get outta here with that!!

Handcuffs, waiver wires and pray that the year of the HAMMY DANCE doesn't get you on the final day!! There's no ALL IGGLES this week its all about what teams need to do; either locked down their spot or move up to get into the money.

 Lets take a look at what we have for week 17.

First place and already spending first place money is Favorite New Kid riding possible fantasy MVP Charles up 88pts on Beach Bums and 113 on DMC. The Beach Bums are in the 2nd spot, the Vegas odd makers had them only 88 pts getting Rodgers back to make the push for the top - Keep your head on a swivel Donny D!! DMC is back 113 and his rag tag red cross unit is trying to hold on and hoping Killah Cam can somehow put up a big game to hold off Setitfgit and the Detroit City all star team he has.  Tmx said it a million times if their is a meaningless game and you can pick one qb to take your team to a boatload of fantasy points that qb is Matt Stafford!! The race for the money is on!!!

Black Dynamite and In Peyton We trust are anchored in at 5 and 6 and both are hoping for big weeks for a 75 dollar payday. The final 4 teams are in the closest battle in the history of ADSL for last place!! TEN POINTS separate Slippery Wizards, Sflabo, Nutsaway and Jerkshots!! Slippery Wizards only prayer is the Muddy Rivers has something to play for at 425 and Mr Garbage time Josh Flash Gordon can carry him out of the bottom!! Sflabo has been working the waiver wire so hard to get out of the dress like a fat girl at the Weymouth prom.
Nutsaway is in the best spot to get out of the bottom with Brees coming off two slow weeks and Lacy  going againt the worst rushing d in modern history!! Jerkshots the healthiest team in ADSL this year had a minor blip with Romo possibly out but with Lynch and several favorable matchups Jerkshots one week stay in the basement looks to be short lived!!

No matter how the season shakes out it will come down to the last week and thats all we ask!! Tmx would like to thank the commish for another wonderful year of keeping the league going.
TMX out.

Monday, December 23, 2013

What do you want for Christmas?

Christmas is in 2 days. I hope that you all have banged out  your shopping lists. Me? I like to bang mine out last minute, so Ill see ya at the mall later today.

This is what I learned this weekend (A quick 12 pack):
1. Shopping at Christmas time gives Eric anxiety.
2. New boots are the shit.
3. Why is it that I have at least 7 pairs of gloves? I mean I only have 1 pair of hands?
4. I stuffed a pork roast with fig, goat cheese, cranberries, scallions and pears then wrapped it all in bacon. Needless to say it was the shit.
5. Why don't they sell cases of beer any more? Its either 6, 12, 18, 30 or 36 pack. I get that its two 12 packs for a case but still.
6. Words with Friends is still my favorite phone game of all time.
7. When you get a hair cut is it normal for the barber to trim your beard? I think its very bizarre.
8. Pure Hockey has tons of hockey equipment but not really any hockey attire.
9. I don't mind Christmas music at all.
10.  It is not my fault that MikeyT is slacking on his TMX reports. He went all team #Iphone and kinda bailed.
11. You cant complain that it snows, then that its icy, then its 60, then we are not going to have a white Christmas. You can not fucking have it both ways!!
12. Tom Kelly goes away for the 1st time in 40 years and gets delayed 3 times then stranded in the NJ airport over night. Needless to say he won't be going away for another 40 years.

I hope that everyone has a nice Christmas.

This is my Christmas Jam:

Kwanzaa starts on Thursday

Monday, December 16, 2013

You missed hockey

The Annual Whitley Street Hockey Classic was this past weekend. We had a smaller showing that normal with Mike And Jason "Axle" Foley (No relations) returning to play. No matter we had a blast, even if we are all banged up. Mikey T won the coveted Rich Peverly MVP award. Hopefully next year we will have a few more guys and we can keep the tradition going.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. I guess strippers have to pay $150 to the club per good shift to work there(cheaper during the day).
2. Jamal Charles are you serious?
3. I guess the kids now a days are doing hate finger banging. Its all the rage(double entendre).
4. Nora Mitchell still has 15 Celtics games for sale. If you are looking for a last minute Christmas gift.
5. Having the Bigshow fall on you does not feel well.
6. The new Hobbit movie is fucking awesome.
7. Some people wilt when the shit hits the fan others thrive. What do you do?
8. Dear Macys thanks for sending me a broken snow globe. You guys are assholes.
9. Hong Kong Dave is now on Pinterest. Yeah you  heard me. He is probably pinning cookie recipes as you read this. I don't even think Chrissy is on Pinterest. Posting little fruit Santa hats for his peeps.

10. Rumor has it Nickerson is making her annual Christmas trip home and yet she hasn't called any of us to make plans for drinks.
11. A bucket of Coors Light is $16 at the Half door and Chrissy is mad.
12. Santander is fun to say. 
13. Sucks to be Breston, this is on the wall at S6 -

14. Who gets a vasectomy before 35 and with no children? One of Chrissy's best friends - Scotty too Hottie!
15. Make sure you check out Bobby Shakes Sports .
16. Booze is an acceptable gift for anyone over the age of 21, even if they are recovering.
17. How do you get shut off  after 5 beers in a 2 1/2 hour period at a strip club?

Till next week you animals.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

TMX Week 14 review

AND DOWN THE STRETCH WE COME................ Three weeks left and we have a new leader at the top Who's Your Favorite New Kid with the right stuff this week leaps up 113 points for a tie for the top with Setitfgit who got snowed out by his high powered Detroit offense!! The top 5 are now separated by 50pts no more games people we have ourselves a fight to the finish at the top. The bottom is still tight with Nutsaway inching his way out and after seeing  the 100pt jump made at the top no one at the bottom should feel safe!! Lets get right to the All Iggles:

QB                     MCCOWN                       57PTS                 NUTSAWAY
RB                     MATHEWS                      26PTS                 FAVORITE NEW KID
RB                     REESE                            28PTS                 SFLABO
WR                   STREATER                      27PTS                  SETITFGIT
WR                   COLSTON                        34PTS                 DMC
TE                    CLAY                               25PTS                 NUTSAWAY
D                      CHIEFS                           37PTS                  DMC
K                      FOLK                               14PTS                 SETITFGIT


Nutsaway, Seititfgit and Dmc dropping big points on the Iggles this week!! Hate to see 70 plus points on the Dmc bench this late in the season, I'm sure Iggles was making snow angels and smirking in the land of brotherly love. The Iggles team is still getting huge numbers lets hope with playoffs clinched and players resting we can put an end for to the Iggles run. Lets take a look at the players that actually were started this week.

 First place and jumping the 100pts was Favorite New Kid with 181 led by Brady and Charles;  2nd was Peyton We Trust with 159 led by who else but Peyton with 44; Nutsaway despite leaving points on Iggles had 153 led by Brees and newly acquired Rainey; Dmc was in fourth with big games from Forte and Cards d; Black Dynamite came in 5th with Mccoy going off in the snow for a 140 week; Slippery Wizards came in 6th with 118 led by one man team Josh Gordon; Beach Bums rotating qbs came in with 111 as Foles was his leading scorer and traded Mccown led the Iggles; the bottom 3 were Sflabo 103; Jerkshots with a healthy romo 86 and Setitfgit with his worse week this year 67.

Tmx  was tied up with calls this week but will be certain to make the calls next week.

Short week with a big game coming up Thursday that could have alot of implications. 

Good luck, stay away from hammy dances. Tmx out

Monday, December 9, 2013


Chrissy and Alison had a baby girl - Harper Rose Macphail (obviously named after Chrissy's favorite athlete Bryce Harper). We all know how Chrissy loves his money so he can write off Harper for the whole year, SUCK IT GOVERNMENT!

This is what I learned  this weekend:
1. Everyone loves babies. I mean everyone.
2. Spilt Milk is having a raffle to raise money for under privileged children on the Cape who need gifts on Christmas.

3. Apparently, it is totally acceptable to bring a 2 year old to an open bar Christmas party.
4. My bathroom is finally done. The glass doors went in on Saturday.
5. MikeyT is now team Iphone!
6. Man lots of shuffling for the annual street hockey game this Saturday. Who is in?
7. Heartburn is a mother fucker.
8. Birthdays always make for free beers. ALWAYS!
9. Mario is having a hard time finding a venue for his wedding. Any suggestions?
10. I guess if you grow a beard people assume its because you jumped on the Red Sox band wagon or you want to be Santa. What about just being lazy people?
11. Why did Bank of America change their ATM cards? All 3 of my cards look the damn same.
12. If you are going to send someone a gift for Christmas, why would you send pears and apples? Who wants that(the apples were delicious by the way)?
13. It is always funny to hear people all of a sudden are interested in the Bruins and want tickets.
14. William J Smiddy works for the IRS now?

Till next week. Stay stachy!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

TMX week 13 review

Week 13 is done and Tmx is back with the review(Had to take the holidays off)!!

 Setitfgit is still holding strong at the top holding off Beachbums while Dmc, Favorite New Kid and even Black Dynamite fight for a spot in the money!! Jerkshots could get hot and make a move while Slippery Wizards, Sflabo, In Peyton We Trust are trying to stay away from Nutsway who has taken over the cellar. Tmx made rare contact with Iggles originator and asked him how the Iggles came about? He said it happened when he saw people starting players who were not playing or just plain sucked and gave the team nothing, in some cases literally gave them ZEROS. Hmmm well Iggles apparently with no bye weeks and everyone jockeying for position that is still happening!! Three teams posted ZEROS( Beachbums, Setitfgit, Jerkshots) with starters and one team( In Peyton we Trust) had a one point effort!!

Therefore there is still a need for ALL IGGLES. Lets get to it!!

QB                      FOLES                       29PTS                              NUTSAWAY
RB                      TATE                         33PTS                              IN PEYTON WE TRUST
RB                      S.JAX                        20PTS                              JERKSHOTS
WR                     HARTLINE                  28PTS                              IN PEYTON WE TRUST
WR                     WHITE                      24PTS                               NUTSAWAY
TE                      H.MILLER                   12PTS                              SFLABO
K                        VINATIERI                  16PTS                              BEACHBUMS
D                       PANTHERS                  19PTS                              SLIPPERY WIZARDS

    Nutsaway in last place put two teams on All Iggles and the suddenly fading In Peyton We Trust added 61pts to the mix!! With teams moving around all week and the weekly price up for grabs its alarming that this is happening. Tmx always here to help found out that #skzalovestwitter is monitoring all tweets and helps people out!! This week he somehow helped out the usually waiver wire avoidist Nutsaway and told him to get Foles and start him over Brees. Nutsaway should have listened, #skzalovestwitter.
Four weeks left and starters may be resting on some team so owners have to make the right plays to make moves!! Lets try NOT to let the Iggles put up big numbers this week!!!

Now onto players that were started.
This weeks winning team was Slippery Wizards with 182. Wizards got TWO fifty burgers from Decker/Gordon tough not to win with that output
2nd was Setitfgit with 164, they are in first for a reason getting 5 players over 20pts
3rd place was Black Dynamite with 159 who also got a 50 burger from Jeffries
4th place also with a 50 burger was In Peyton We Trust, Peyton put up the 50 and the team got 144
5th was Dmc with 144 Cam and Ap played like studs
6th was Beachbums 130 who went to the wire and hit gold with Mcown
7th place was Sflabo with 129 who rode Wilson and Monday night action.
The bottom 3 were Favorite New Kid; Nutsaway and Jerkshots.

Tmx called Jerkshots, wr Jarret Boykins a waiver wire stud who this week put up a ZERO. Hey Boyks its TMX
whats going down? " TM............(phone rustling) sorry Jarrett can not and will not comment on his performance in accordance with the pending legal action being taken forthwith against TMX by complaintant Jerkshot Inc". Oh here we go Jerkshots let it go. " we will have no comment per our team policy and legal team, try calling Robfrey they seem to love to talk" Well I guess we are getting no comments from Jerkshots. Tmx next call hottest player in fantasy Josh Gordon. Hey Josh its TMX whats good? "Yo TMX hows it be? I'm just sitting here listening to Redman watching Half Baked with my boys hows everything?" Whoa whoa Josh be careful you know you got suspended for 4 games before you were traded twice in ADSL and found a home with the Slippery Wizards "nah nah TMX ain't like that no more I'm getting high on 50 burgers now brah, you see i put up two in a row with no name qbs? Heard we are pulling in some cat off the street this week, wont be easy but i'm heading out to practice? Peace, love and 50 burgers TMX. Gordon gotta fly" Well there you have it Josh Gordon looks to be a sure fire top pick next year if this keeps up!!

 The season is winding down and its been a wild wild one with injuries and each week a monster performance coming out of nowhere. So far the Setitfgit team has been able to ride the Detroit offense to and impressive run but as we've learned one good week can propel a team. The trade deadline is the 5th and TMX  knows that there are teams looking to deal for example all Iggles star Sjax is being heavily shopped so answer your phones and make a deal. TMX has its ears to the streets so lets see what goes down. Good luck in week 14. TMX out

Monday, December 2, 2013

December to remember

I was going to write this in an email to the expecting parents but I figured why not share with the world instead.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. MacPhail,

Now that you are having a December baby there are a few rules to follow:
1. Never ever wrap their birthday gift in Christmas wrapping paper.
2. Never give them a combo birthday/christmas gift - EVER.
3. Do not name them some seasonal name, such as Joy, Holly, Merry or Kris.
4. Do not skimp out on their gift since Christmas is coming (here is some Happy meal toy child), no one told you to be fucking 9 months ago.
5. Do not attempt to throw a birthday cake out during a Christmas get together.
6. If you are going to attempt any of the things above then just celebrate their birthday in July.

As you can see December babies/birthdays are important to me. I've been fucked too many times by assholes, including my own parents.

23 shopping days...

till Christmas!! Plenty of shopping time available. I am still a size 38 x 32 pants and 2 XL in shirts.

This is what I learned this weekend (just a quick 12 pack to start the week right):
1. Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday are all within days of each other. Maybe you should spread that shit out.
2. You start to feel old when Guns n' Roses and Metallica start playing on the classic rock station.
3. People who give themselves nick names should get a kick in the dick.
4. With Facebook and other social media why are there still class reunions?
5. Still no baby MacPhail yet.
6. If you go to Pizzeria Regina and wait almost a hour in 35 degree temps and you don't use Luey Juice then you should of gone to Half Time Pizza.
7. The 30 oz tomahawk rib-eye chop from Alba in Quincy is fucking legit.
8. Since when does the DMV send out reminders that your license is expiring.
9. Home made turkey soup is awesome.
10. What are your top 5 Christmas movies? And is Die Hard on that list?
11. Did Paul Walkers death break the internet?
12. The worst part of the Christmas season is the fucking Elf on a Shelf.

See you next week.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Thanksgiving Bitches

Yes, one of the best holidays of the year is on the horizon - Thanksgiving. I love me some turkey and stuffing. Sorry I didn't post yesterday but 17 degree days really put a damper on my spare writing time.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. I do not know how people work the over night shift. That is for the birds.
2. Little baby MacPhail is due tomorrow. Everyone loves babies right! You know its going to be a girl right?
3. People are all excited that Hanukkah and Thanksgiving fall on the same day. Whats the big deal? Turkeys kosher right?
4. Do people still go out for Thanksgiving eve?
5. Mike G has a friend selling a used Corvette if you know anyone who is interested.
6. I used to like Subway subs but they really blow now. The meat to bread ratio is way off.
7. They still give out tetanus shots? I had to get one during a physical.
8. The Brown Jug pizza is 100% better than Santarpios.
9. Does anyone go out to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner, rather than cook? Just a question.
10. If I bought a turducken I would cover that shit in bacon while it cooked. It would be a Porturducken.
11. My bathroom is finally done, just waiting on the glass doors to be installed.
12. Since Xmas is coming here is a gift for that Star wars fan in your life.
13. Have you seen this Meet The Sloths on Animal Planet? Fucking awesome.
14. I don't understand the love with Dr. Who. Can someone explain this to me?
15. There is no need for Christmas movies or music to be on before Thanksgiving.
16. Anyone have any suggestions for a venue where Mario should get married? I guess Atlantis is out.
17. Kelly Armstrong has moved outta Southie and back to the burbs.
18. I have said it before and I will say it again there should not be any Thursday night NFL games.

I hope that everyone has a safe and happy holiday weekend.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Boo to me

So last night while bullshitting back and forth on texts I realized that I didn't post things I learned this week. What a knucklehead I am(still trying to curb my swearing). Then I get the TMX review to post and it reminded me again. So here it is.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. When Riccio's wife is away, Sean becomes a candidate for father of the year.
2. It is not too late to bribe Chrissy to become godmother or godfather for his unborn child.
3. Random text with nothing more than a blunt rude yet funny statement are the best.
4. Looks like Rio may of found his 1st home in Saugus, it has been a long process but it may be coming to an end.
5. The Annual Whitley street hockey game is on. Saturday, December 14 at 12 noon. Be there or be Smiddy.
6. People are still posting gym selfies?
7. Is there any thing worse than not being sick enough to be bed ridden and hopped up on meds but achy and not right where you can't really get anything done?
8. Did you know Nickerson can see the Hollywood sign from her work office?
9. Where were you Saturday? Not stacking this:

                                 13 feet by 5 feet back row 8 feet by 4 feet front row

10. What bout Sunday? Looks like Demo day:

11. Jim Plunkett is still alive and kicking. He played at the Beach Comber last Friday.
12. Buffalo Wild Wings does not charge for the UFC fights.
13. We as a whole should do more for our Veterans. There needs a more concerted effort to help these people who have done so much for our country.
14. Has anyone seen Tom Newton? Haven't heard or seen him in a while. Is he on the lamb?
15. How do I become governor of Patriots Nation?
16. Has anyone else caught this Fantasy show on NBC sports channel, Thursday nights at 6:30? Shaun King(or @realshaunking) has not missed a buffet since he stopped playing in the NFL.

17. Those tornadoes out in the Midwest were crazy!
18. How long are you supposed to fast for before getting a physical?

Till next week. As always I will try to do better.

TMX week 11 review

Week 11 is in the books.

There are only 6 weeks for people to make their push for the money and for the Slippery Wizards to try and get out of the refurnished basement he's been in all season!! The top 6 teams are separated by less than 100 pts so the money is still up for grabs!! Nutsaway is deliquent on the fees and losing 10pts a week Tmx is trying to schedule a TMX TELETHON to raise the funds but is being caught up in legal red tape (stay tuned Tmx is here to help). Speaking of which, Tmx mistakenly called Jets D pickup of the week and well by all accounts the 1 point its scored shows IT WAS NOT. Apologies to Jerkshots who even ended their Tmx silence by offering up a rare quote by owner Wes Cash " Robfrey wins. Get used to it. You can quote us on that" Real cryptic as their isn't a team in ADSL named "Robfrey". The Tmx investigation team is working night and day to crack this cryptic quote.
Tmx will get to the bottom of this using all its resources.

 The All Iggles had another big week despite byes lets take a look.

QB  B.ROELTHISBERGER                      44PTS                 NUTSAWAY
RB  R.RICE                                         27PTS                 SLIPPERY WIZARDS
RB  C.RAINEY                                     40PTS                 BEACH BUMS
WR M.FLOYD                                      33PTS                JERKSHOTS
WR H.DOUGLAS                                  27PTS                SLIPPERY WIZARDS
TE  D.WALKER                                    20PTS                IN PEYTON WE TRUST
K   D.CARPENTER                               13PTS                 SETITFGIT
D   BEARS                                          20PTS                 BLACK DYNAMITE


Well Jerkshots made the move and started All Iggles regular S. Hauschka but put up 33 with a wide receiver. Slippery Wizards showing why they are in last putting over 50 on the All Iggles. Tmx tried to reach out  with All Iggles proud owner but seems he is bunkered down again and not able to be contacted(probably on the move). The amount of point being put up in a league with a flex player is alarming. Six weeks left to get it right but Tmx is not to confident that the league with make the right plays!! Reminder of All Iggles rule number one if you feel good enough that you need a player you start that player 40pts for a player pick up is crazy. Iggles smirks.

Onto the players that were actually started.
First place again this week was Setitfgit with 139, the Stafford/Megatron train just keeps rolling.
2nd was Jerkshots with 135 so close but one bad play cost them in a bye week no less
3rd was Black Dynamite with 131 led by Shady Mccoy
4th was Sflabo with 126 got big days from Vjax and the CJ who is officially BACK
5th was Beachbums with 121 who rode new qb Foles, Jordy and Seahawks d
6th place was Favorite New Kid with 111 who got a big game from Antonio Brown
7th place with 110 was Dmc who had exciting Monday night action and Cam Newton coming up big.
The final  three were  Slippery Wizards 101; In Peyton we trust 91 and Nutsaway with 76 (86 minus his 10 for not paying). Tmx is busy with the cryptic message sent by Jerkshots but did make a couple calls.

First call was to Trent Richardson of the winning team Setitfgit. Trent is struggling this year and Setitfgit started him over better play D. Brown. Hey T-Rich it Tmx whats up?? " Man Tmx now is not the time I got a lot going on. No quotes. My play speaks for itself" Well T-Rich by play are you referring to the porn you did? That play? Is that effecting you on the field? " Oh Tmx I wish we could speak on better times tell my owners I'm sorry at least I wasn't a first round pick" Well T-Rich actually you were but good luck in the porn industry because right now that looks like were you're putting in the most effort!!

Next up Tmx called good friend Steven Ridley. Hey Rid whats good?? " oh man Tmx how you been you see my new haircut?? Fresh to death right?? I"m balling for sure TD last night' Uhhm Rid you realize  you're carrying the football like a live lobster fumbling all over the joint right?? " oh come on Tmx i'm doing work how's my fantasy owner doing?? Great right?" Actually struggling and you're the main reason? " Well tell homeboy to get himself a fresh haircut and chill no biggie!! Rids is off !!! Man my hair is tight" Hmm well looks like both calls this week were to rbs that aren't focused on the upcoming last 6 weeks!! Lets hope the rest of the league is more focused. The last week of byes are here so its go time. Lets relax this week on hammy dances and let the final 6 weeks play out. Trade deadline is coming and there are a few out there. Rumors swirling with Beachbums having no qb week 12 that they are looking ACTIVELY. Tmx will stay on it. Good luck this week and call Tmx or Folan Dot Com with any breaking news or even cryptic quotes.

TMX out.

Anyone know if Favorite New Kid reads this? 

Friday, November 15, 2013

TMX week 10 review

Tmx coming in hot with a late week 10 review!! 

The top is a three team battle and Slippery Wizards are looking to clinch the dress wearing last place spot. The big bye weeks are past and now its a race to see who can make it to the finish. 
The trading deadline is coming and we had another trade this week with Dmc getting the number 2 tight end in the league Julius Thomas along with Pierre Thomas (no relation fools) and Manny Sanders and shipping Slippery Wizard two starters in Gio Bernard and Josh Gordon along with Greg Olsen. Tmx loves trades and is always hoping teams work things out. 

Speaking of which S. Hauschka a local boy should/could be on the block for Jerkshots. He's a regular on the All Iggles so unless Jerkshots is in kahoots with All Iggles I can't see why he wouldnt offer him up???

Lets get to the All Iggles team(starring Mike Mamula):

QB                          Rg3                      33pts                         Setitfgit
RB                          P.THOMAS            26PTS                        SLIPPERY WIZARDS
RB                          A.BROWN             23PTS                         FAVORITE NEW KID
WR                        J. BOYKIN              20PTS                         JERKSHOTS
WR                        G.TATE                 24PTS                         BEACH BUMS
TE                          C.FEENER             7PTS                           BEACH BUMS
D                            RAIDERS              22PTS                         SFLABO
K                           you know who        16PTS                         JERKSHOTS


 Beach bums putting two players on the All Iggles, this late in the season, is a rare mis-step for this marathon running owner. Jerkshots the one time rival of Iggles seems to be putting players and definately is putting his kicker on there every week. Tmx is getting its investigation team together and we know they handle things!!! 

Favorite New Kid (who doesn't speak much, post on the message boards or even have any ones phone number) sat A. Brown who he had stored away and started a player who was listed as INACTIVE prior to the game?? Somewhere all Iggles smirks. This is the time of the year when teams either fold or make their way to the top so lets see what happens!! 
This weeks winner was 3 time winner Setitfgit with 138.
 2. Beachbums 136 
3. Black Dynamite with 125 
4. Nutsaway with 122 ( Nutsaway had a shot at the week til Mike James broke and ankle after first series where he had 5 rushes 41yds---put in tough break joke here--) 
5. DMC 113 
6. Peyton We trust 109 
7. Jerkshots 105 
8. Slfabo 105 
9. Slippery Wizards 103 
10. Fav New Kid 98 

Tmx was busy this week, sorry for the soft recap but TMX is NEVER too busy to make calls and called Setitfgit's Brandon Marshall who put up 30 plus this week! Bmarsh whats good its TMX " Tmx oh sniggy snaps long time no talk!! You see me this Cutty or no Cutty I gets mine!!" Hahah sniggy snaps? " yeah i made that one up on the spot!! Anyway hows TMX doing you guys get videos yet?? Bmarsh needs a mofu*cking video on the review!! Can you imagine that?? Yo TMX I'm going to make a highlight video and send it and you can put it up there!! TMX I got you!! Bmarsh off to save TMX OUUUUUUUUT" Well guess Mr Marshall got some big plans wow!! 

TMX also made a rare call to a NON STARTER who was started this week. Ronnie Hillman for Favorite New kid (Donnie D - Can't wait for the Wahlbergers Reality Show) was in the starting lineup and listed as inactive before the game started. Hey Ronnie its TMX whats up. "TMX right? Nice try, Knowshon enough with the jokes CLICK" Hey Ronnie its TMX don't hangup we are calling to ask how you feel about..........." Peyton that you? everyone thinks your a nice guy but this prank phone call stuff is mean. Look I'm trying to get in the starting lineup, I fumble one FUCKING TIME,  don't call me pretending to be TMX. TMX calls starters and stars i was neither CLICK" Well Tmx made 4 more attempts and the phone was off the hook?? We also attempted to call Favorite New Kid ownership but they are not listed. Wild weeks continue!! 

Well its week 11 lets hope its injury free and exciting. Keep those Hammy Dances at bay.

TMX out.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

8 weeks

Can you believe there is only 8 weeks left in the year?
I hope to god you all have started your Christmas shopping.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Lauren Brady is partying like a rock star in Seattle.
2. I hate how the winter brings such dry skin.
3. Jeffrey is fighting with his bank to get his money for his house remodel.
4. The salted caramel hot chocolate from Dunks is legit.
5. Fantasy football is insane to me these days.
6. I could probably eat beef stew every day.
7. I really hate painting even more so than I thought.
8. People are talking about this Celtics team and comparing them to this years Red Sox team. RELAX PEOPLE its been 8 games.
9. Why do people feel the need to be rude because they are in a bad mood?
10. The wagon lasted 4 days.
11. I love Thanksgiving; can not wait for turkey.
12. Congrats on Rob and his wife running a half marathon.
13.  Jeffrey is growing his stache for Movember.

14. How come no one ever wants to go out and grab drinks at Buffalo Wild wings?
15. Either you are part of it or you are not:

16. Who gets a bill on Wednesday and then one on Friday saying they will send you to a collection agency? I mean I just got the bill 2 days ago.
17. Not really looking forward to having to change my retirement accounts at work.
18. My wife is the weakest person in America(physically), I don't think she can lift a bag of dog food.
19. Is it wrong to put sweaters on your dogs when you walk them?
20. Make sure your children nap. No one wants to deal with a brat.

Till next week.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Happy Veterans day

Have a nice and safe Veterans day everyone.

Ill post things I learned tomorrow.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

TMX week 9 recap

Tmx is here for the recap of Week 9 which was a bye week hell for many but you wouldn't know it by the numbers put up by the dreaded All Iggles team!!

All Igggles had its highest total ever according to the Tmx stat crew.
Lets get right to it!!

QB- FOLES            69PTS  NUTSAWAY
RB- STACY            37PTS   DMC
TE-  OLSEN           14PTS  DMC

 I guess that call to Foles a few weeks back comparing to him to the Detmers really motivated him as he put up an All Iggles record SIXTY NINE points!! Two running backs helped out with over 30 in a week with 6 teams on byes!! Peyton we trust left 25pts on the board in his record setting week (more on that later). The season is now in the second half and the All Iggles should be struggling instead of striving!! The top 3 is now under 10 points with Dmc making up 70pts this week and moving full on into the hunt!! 7 teams are within 100 and after seeing the jump Dmc made its really anyone's game. The bottom two are separated by 20 and are in a fight for the cellar that could come down to the final week. There were injuries again this week in the year of the injury its no surprise. Pryor, Sproles, Mcfadden, Rudolph, Rodgers and Foster all went down this week.

Big names big injuries continue to be the theme of this fantasy season. 8 weeks left and many more injuries will follow I'm being told that HAMMY DANCE has now topped electric slide, Mambo #5 and the chicken dance as the wedding dance of 2013 (shout out to the Board Guy Mario who got engaged last week). J*rkshots are probably happy to hear that. (due to pending court proceedings TMX is not allowed to use their name when referring to the hammy dance on the blog) Let see the record setting week and how it played out. The first three time weekly winner DMC came in first with 174 doing it with 5 guys over 20 points a balanced team that should easily finish in the money. 2nd place this week was New Kid with 157 who played Brady ( is he back?) for a 50 burger; 3rd place was Jerkshots who also got a 50 burger from Andre Johnson; 4th this week was Sflabo with 142 who is riding Graham and CJ2K to create distance from the basement; 5th place was Black Dynamite with 136 who had Morris and Luck put up numbers; 6th place was Setitfgit with 112 who managed to break 100 despite not having his Detroit studs thanks to Marshall and Gronk; 7th place was Nutsaway who despite sitting Foles rode his Lacy/Ridley rb team to 112. The bottom three were Slippery Wizards (no shock) Beach bums (SHOCK- but lost Rodgers) and new adsl low record holder In Peyton We Trust who finished the week with 43 points and has fallen back to 7th place from 2nd. Luckily he gets Peyton back off the bye and can make up the ground.

Tmx made a call to Zac Stacy stud running back on the surging DMC team. Hey Z-man its Tmx whats good? "Oh wow Tmx your calling me?? Zac Stacy?? Wow what an honor hows it going?? "Well we are doing good, how are you?, knowing you've rushed for 261yds and 2 tds last two weeks and you cant crack the starting lineup on DMC? You thinking about demanding a trade? " oh come on TMX you trying to start trouble? You know i'm just happy that Dmc drafted me." Uhm Z-man he picked you up on waivers kid? " Wait what? Dude picked me up on waivers to bench my ass?? That ain't cool. Maybe I will ask for a trade, you guys a trading league??' Well now Z-man you're the one starting trouble TMX aint going down that road!! Keep up the good work hope you can get in a start. " Ha funny, later TMX love your recaps" Well there you have it now onto the record setting weekly low.
TMX had a list of people to call starting from the manager who picked up Alex Smith as a bye week replacement and then benched Spiller and Amendola but we decided to give an old friend Dez Bryant a call as he is the voice of that team. Hey Dez what is up its Tmx. " Aint nothing up we still dominating ADSL in first. Love our management team got that swagger 2013 champs what what get at me fools!!" Uhm Dez your in 7th had the lowest total EVER in ADSL, 43 pts?? " Hold up wait what?? How'd that happen?? We the champs??? Who's in first?? The Beach Bums?? You think they the champs?? You wanna crown them?? CROWN THEIR ASSES but we are already 2013 champs!!" Actually your  management put in for a name change to 5th place team? " Wait so they given up on us?? What is going on??? I may ask for a trade?? You all trade in that league??" Oh real cute Dez I know you read the blog." Hahahaha I'm just playing, can you read?. Anyway I know I'm about to show my ass and scream on the sidelines and go off so we will be back 2013 champs OUT' Nothing like a fired up Dez. Well week 10 has Thursday action and less teams on bye. Lets hope the hammy dance takes the week off and the races for last and top spots tighten.

Good luck. Tmx out

Monday, November 4, 2013

Hope you know where your long johns are

The cold came in fast. Nothing like it being 77 on Saturday and 32 today. I had to break out my winter jacket.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. I guess 2 kids can split a bag of regular M&Ms but not a bag of peanut M&M's.
2. Congrats to Mario and Ashley on their engagement. Now the fun begins, picking a date, a venue, the wedding party, the amount of people who can go...lots of luck.
3. Baby Macphail should be here in under a month. Anyone want to bet if its a boy or a girl? I am taking girl.
4. Man you trim your beard and some people act like you murdered their 1st born.
5. The roller coaster that is fantasy football continues - and Chrissy is throwing a hissy fit. After trading for Manning and changing his name to 2013 Champs he is currently in 5th and falling. I just sayu it was week 9 bye week hell.
6. Eggplant doesn't have much of a taste/flavor.
7. I didn't make the parade. My scheduled meeting with the shower glass door guy ran over.
8. I love that Jake Peavy bought his duck boat that he was riding on during the parade.
9. I think if you were lucky enough to be at McGreeveys or Daisy after the parade and got to drink with a shirtless Mike Napoli then my hats off to you.
10. I only had 10 trick or treaters this year.
11. Not only did I get to be godfather again yesterday but changed the game up and the ceremony going forward.
12. Every time you go to the car dealership they want to go above and beyond what you need, bro I just need an oil change.
13. Why can't we just get rid of daylight savings? Just split the difference? When we spring forward just spring 1/2 hour ahead. It seems like a nice solution.
14. Rio is looking for a house again. Keep ya head on a swivel.
15. The food at the Junction is always 50% off and its damn tasty.
16. There was a Smiddy and Kohansky sighting this weekend.
17. Waiting to hear back to see if the rink is available December 7th or 14 for street hockey.
18. I would rather mud and tape and fix holes in dry wall than paint.

Till next week people. Stay classy.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

TMX week 8 review

TMX here for the week 8 recap!!

 The year of the injury continues but first with not so breaking news!!! A trade was made involving trade partners Setitfgit and Beachbums. Beachbums have been in the hunt for a tight end to fill his one weakness and Setitfgit just so happen to pick the hottest tight end off the waiver wire and immediately deal him. Jordan Reed and a rb who was immediatly cut came to BeachBums for Jared Cook and bye week Trent Richardson. Reed finished 2nd in tight end points behind only Graham so the trade seems to have helped Beachbums who have taken over first place!!! Tmx does not rate or debate trades we are just here to promote them. Tmx as you know is here to help and never has a trade not helped someone!! Trade em if you got em!! The injuries this week included break out tight end Julius Thomas, old friend Mike Vick, wrs Gibson and Broyles (season enders) and hot rb Zac Stacy. The injuries are mounting, many more left the game and played on,  depth is going to be key to strong finishes.

There were also 6 teams on a bye this week and 6 more next week but somehow someway All Iggles still put up some decent numbers.

Here they are week 8 All Iggles (looks like we have found our face if the franchise).

QB-              A.DALTON                                46PTS                     DMC
RB-              A.ELLINGTON                            28PTS                     SETITFGIT
RB-              Z. STACY                                 18PTS                      DMC
WR              C.SHORTS                                10PTS                     SLIPPERY WIZARDS
WR              M.FLOYD                                  10PTS                      JERKSHOTS
TE-              J.GRESHAM                                8PTS                       BLACK DYNAMITE
K-                J.BROWN                                   15PTS                      NUTSAWAY
D                 PATRIOTS                                 26PTS                     SLIPPERY WIZARDS

   Somehow with half the team on bye the last place Slippery Wizards and Dmc were able to drop two players on the Iggles and Dmc is in the running for the Randall Cunningham All Iggle player of the year award putting up Dalton's 46pts (Who is on the trading block)!! The All Iggles are somehow still getting points meaning owners are still not making the right starts.  The same situation is this week with 6 more teams on byes hopefully we shutdown the Iggles!! Setitfgit gets a pass on this as his team put up 187 this week so his player is probably a sympathy thing. Always had a soft spot for Iggles; rumor has it he once helped the Iggles move.

Here's how this week went:

First place this week with the Detroit All Stars Megatron, Bush and Stafford going HAM is Setitfgit with 187. Megatron mega game 58pts
2nd place and overtaking the lead is Beachbums with 162, the Rodgers-Nelson connection coming through
3rd and continuing to climb is Nutsaway with 134 led by another big Brees game
4th place was Peyton We Trust with 116 saw a small chink in the armor of the leader this week as only Peyton and Bryant put up points
5th place was Favorite New Kid with 113 who continues to stay in the hunt with a balanced attack despite having qb issues
6th place was Black Dynamite with 110 who navigated through his qb by week with big help from giants d
7th place with 110 was Slippery Wizards who's new found wr Frederick Douglass' kid, Harry helped the team stay out of last for the week.
The final three were Sflabo, Dmc and Jerkshots. 

Tmx made a call to winning teams qb Matt Stafford. Hey Matt its Tmx whats going down? "Tmx I heard alot about you, Mega says you call him all the time, funny. Why havent you guys called me I'm the one throwing to him?" Wow. Point taken Matt but looks like you just heave it in his direction and he catches it? " hahaha you're right I'm just kidding boy am I lucky to have Mega. But I did pull off that sneaky deaky on my own, that was a move huh?? Sure was and congrats on your comeback big win. " You're telling me heading into the bye I'm going to rest my shoulder and come out slinging, later Tmx keep my number on speed dial' Ahh the confidence of a qb loaded with stars. Speaking of stars we called Tmx favorite and Jerkshots star Marshawn Lynch to ask him what happened Monday night. Yo yo Marshawn whats up its Tmx. " Tmx now aint the motherf*cking time ( where my skittles, where the f*ck are marshawns skittles)" EEEk uhhm Marshawn this is a family site I thought we were tight " Tmx I'm sorry but we have first and goal and they use Beastmode as a decoy??? What the f*ck?? this aint duck dynasty I aint no decoy. I'm going to wake up Rah Rah Pete Carroll off my couch and we are going to have a meeting'' Wait he sleeps on your couch??? " Well we was celebrating and he stayed over anyway Tmx sorry for the language I'm out" Well there you have it

 Huge week 9 with alot of big teams on byes. The top is tight separated by 16 and the bottom 3 by 35. Its early and anyone's game. Setitfgit was 188 pts out in week 5 (thanks tmx stat dept) they are now 16, Good luck in week 9 and watch out for the hammy dance craze. Tmx out