Monday, April 30, 2012

April showers bring May Flowers

Holy shit May is upon us. Pretty soon everyone will be having cookouts and the mosquito's will be biting. I don't know anyone who doesn't like to sit on the back deck and drinks some cold beers.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Lowell has the 2nd highest percentage of Cambodians in the United States, just behind some city in California.
2. Working the overnights is not for me. My whole schedule is out of whack.
3. I helped Katie plant some roses this weekend, it was a little bit more work than I thought:

4. The dart team is fading fast. Seems like we are in a rut.
5. Wendy's has 3 new sides - bakes sweet potato, mac and cheese and chili cheese fries. I haven't tried em but they looked good.
6. I went to the 99 for the first time in probably 10 years. It wasn't bad at all and they have $12 buckets of beer. Whats not to like?
7. Some billionaire is building a new Titanic. Sounds like a great idea.
8. I am still not really over the Bruins loss.
9.  Mustache Pub Crawl shirts are selling like hot cakes. MikeyT knows how to move units.
10. A woman will spend approximately 3,500 days of her life menstruating.
11. After seeing this mummy made out of 200 Mcdonalds hamburgers all ground up, I may never eat there again:

12. Looks like Rio is out of the dog house and back on his way to wedding bliss.
13. After catching a few minutes of Baggage Battle on A&E I just assume anyone or anything can get a television show.
14. May is national Burger Month. You know I fucking love burgers.
15. Speaking of burgers - Bobby Flay is opening up one of his burger joint in Burlington soon.
16. I finally finished all 3 of the Hunger games books. They were good but I think the final ending is a cop out.

I guess we are rolling with a 16 pack this weekend. I guess that's what happens when I work Thursday and Friday over nights.

This week darts is at the South side tavern. Come on down for some laughs and tons of beers.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

I Know

I actually debated back and forth, if I should do a Bruins game 7 review. I am still pretty pissed off but after seeing the Lil Crusher picture again, my mind was made up. Onto the review!!

After work MikeyT and I went over to the Garden area to grab some food and meet up with Rio and Big Bob. We decided on Porters for an early dinner. The food was ok but the prices were fantastic, Chrissy if you go down that area for an afternoon game it is right up your alley, our bill was only $22.36. After eating we stopped and grabbed Bob a birthday card and some scratchies(hope he won) then we headed to Northstar.

Now, last time we went to this particular bar they didn't ask me for my debit/credit card to start a tab, I just assumed they knew we always go there so we are cool. I was surprised that they remembered my last name to run the tab. Either they love our tips or they remember lushes(I am going with they love our tips). We stumbled upon Mikey Doyle and Georgie; man can they talk. The bar filled up pretty quickly and most people were chatting about how confident they were the  Bruins would win. After paying the tab and heading to the car to get my Towelman attire we find a parking ticket on MikeyT's Jeep. We were paid till 7:03 but somehow got a ticket at 6:50? How the fuck does that work?

We roll into the Garden at 7:15 and there are no fucking towels to be had. The damn Ice Girls had given them all out. This can not be a good thing. How can Towelman have no towels? First the ticket, now this but to make matters worse Sterling, the beer vendor has been fired. That's a motherfucking trifector before the drop of the puck. The only thing we have to counter this increasing black cloud is the fact MikeyT figures out Albie and his sister Tyese have been named after Al Be Sure and the R&B superstar Tyrese. LETS GO BRUINS!

The crowd is pretty pumped up for this game and why shouldn't they be - game 7 at home, winner moves on and every game has been decided by 1 goal. Everyone is at their seats(either sitting or standing) as they announce Reggie Lemlin as the honorary captain for the game. I was more of a Moog guy but who doesn't love the footage of Lemlin pumping that old school helmet after a win?

The Bruins are flying high in the 1st period but the Caps score 1st. After one we are down 1-0. We meet up at our usual spot, the Hub Bar, after each period to shoot the shit. We discuss the game and the fact that Sterling got shitcanned (I blame Rio's sister but that's for a different blog) then its back to the seats for the 2nd period. Tyler Seguin ties this bitch up at 1 and that's where the score stands after 2. I grab a pretzel and meet up back at the Hub bar. As has been the norm the past 6 games or so that I have attended, the 50/50 raffle lady seeks out our table to buy raffle tickets after each and every 2nd period, tonight is no exception. MikeyT gives her a ration of shit about how she has never sold a winning ticket and the whole thing is a scam but we still throw up our cash. Ben Gunn and his new lady have made a surprise visit to the Hub Bar. Apparently, they could see us from the balcony and wanted to share in on the laughs. There is a ton of action to start the 3rd and plenty of chances for the Bruins to score but they never seemed to get a lucky bounce this whole series and tonight that was not going to change. After some tense moments the 3rd comes to a close and we are headed to overtime. Since they no longer are serving beers we are no longer meeting up after periods. As they clean the ice, I get my smiling face up on the Jumbotron. There is an anxiety creeping over the crowd. They can tell a dirty goal is going to be the difference between going to round 2 and going to play golf. The action was fast, back and forth like the last round of a heavy weight fight. The Bruins tried a dump that was intercepted causing a break the other way. That rush was partially broken by the defense scrambling to get back but somehow Mike Knuble got a backhand shot off. Thomas made the initial save but never got a chance on Joel Wards overtime-game-winning-game 7-goal as Knuble crashed the net.

I do not want to sound like a homer but shouldn't the series winning over time goal be reviewed if there is a player standing in the crease and the goalies face is jammed into his stomach? I am not even saying that it was interference but shouldn't it be reviewed?

Tip your caps to the Caps. I still hope they lose in the next round.

If you hear sound bites on Toucher and Rich of someone screaming "MAKE THE SAVE THOMAS" then that was probably MikeyT being interviewed by Adolpho after the game. All I could do was swear.

Till next season Bitches!!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Darts Update Week #12

In Week #12 we played a very important match which may determine our playoff chances. After 11 weeks of matches we find ourselves in 4th place (top 4 teams make the playoffs) and we were playing the 5th place team who sat just 6 points behind us. The 1 thru 3 teams all have a sizable lead so it is unlikely we will catch them. Weeks 13 & 14 we will play the #2 & #3 teams in the standings so we need to step up and play well. As for the updates over the past few weeks, I was travelling for work and unable to make the games. The results this week were not good and here is a breakdown:

501: Lost 2 - Won 1
Me & P got on fast kept it close but faded in the end. L
Brighto & Jared also got on fast and kept a good lead thru most of the game. It got close in the end but the boys got it done. W

Jeb & Derek start to finish it was close but they got beat in the end. L

Cricket: Lost 2 - Won 1

SL & Jared got involved in a point fest and as always, we do not do well in those types of games. They fought hard but lost. L

Me & Brighto played great from start to finish and it was never close. W

Supa & Jeb played tough and I am guessing the other team must read the blog because they came out pointing from the word go. S&J shot well but it was another loss. L

301: Lost 4 - Won 2

P took 2 straight. In both games he got on fast and ran it down. His opponent threw great darts when he finally got on to make it close, but P wasted no time in closing it out. W
SL was way behind early but hit a 128 and got back in it for the win. In game 2 he got right on and never looked back for a solid win. W
Derek played the match of the year. He got on first in game 1 and ran it down fast. His opponent caught up but he finished strong. In game 2 he struggled to get in but came back strong and lost. In game 3 it was tight from start to finish and they both had several chances on the out. Unfortunately he lost. L

Jared lost 2 quick ones. L

I played 3 close games. Won the 1st, lost the 2nd, and the 3rd came down to the out and I could not close the deal. L

Brighty lost 2 real fast games to end the night. L

The final score was an 8-4 loss and it did not put us in good shape for the playoff run. We still have a 2 game lead over the team in 5th and we beat them on the tie breaker (head to head matches). There are only 2 more weeks, so come on down for a drink and watch the action!

‘Til next time Bitches,

Monday, April 23, 2012

I know I know

I have been slacking with the things I learned. Here is a jumbo sized edition.

Things I've learned the last 2 weeks -
1. People jump off and on the Red Sox band wagon faster than I can change my under wears.
2. Females have 500 more genes than males, and because of this are protected from things like color blindness and hemophilia.
3. Chrissy loves a bargain(Or is always looking for a hook up) more than anyone else I know.
4. Sweet Carolines is a pretty good place to pregame for Sox games.
5. Opening day, Sox playoffs and Marathon Monday is an expensive weekend.
6. You would think that after the Bruins won the Cup that more people would of jumped on the bandwagon but I didn't get any more requests for tickets till the playoffs.
7. Shawn Larry bitches about darts every week but he enjoys every bit of them.
8. Katie is going to attempt to foster a dog for 2 months, apparently the woman who owns the dog needs surgery and someone to take care of him while she is recovering. Ill keep ya posted.
9. The 100 Anniversary celebration at Fenway was crap.
10. I believe Noras cousin hates me.
11. "...fell out of a pedicab is way funnier than fell while stepping out of a pedicab" - just saying.
12. Brian Folan doesn't bounce back like he used too.
13. Being off for 5 days in a row, you miss lots of happenings at work.
14. How sucky is it to mess up trimming your mustache with under 30 days to go to the MPC.
15. MikeyT loves himself some clams casino.
16.  Who would pay $60 to cut a line in Boston? Hey West End Johnnies go fuck ya self.
17. Something to shoot for - The largest amount of text messages sent by a single person in 1 month was 182,689.
18. Asparagus makes your urine attractive to fish. So if you pee in the river after eating it, more fish will gather around you.
19. Supah P is still building his landscaping empire. If you need some work done. Hollah!
20. I'm always surprised that women like Game of Thrones.
21. Matty Kohansky and John Brewer both contacted me this past week. Both are alive and well. I know you were worried. Still no word from Smiddy.
22. People are blaming my lack of Towelman as the reason the B's have lost 2 home games.
23. Iggles still refuses the Twitter but he is slowly coming around.
24. Bib Bob swears by Gorilla glue.
25. I took a shit ton of photos of sporting events the past 2 weeks but my FUCKING CAMERA isn't saving them.
26. Rob Gronkowski has been to the last 6 Bruins games that I have been too.
27. Mike Foley still reads the Quincy Sun and the Patriot Ledger.
28. Supah P is still looking for a house to buy on the South shore.

Its been 2 weekends since I have updated this so I am sure there are a million things that I forgot.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Good Cause

Please feel free to donate to the fundraising for United Cerebral Palsy - Metro Boston area.

Throughout our 60 year history, United Cerebral Palsy of MetroBoston has been committed to providing services and supports to people with disabilities and their families. We strive for excellence by ensuring that our mission-to advance, productivity, and full citizenship of people with disabilities-is achieved.

The future of United Cerebral Palsy of MetroBoston relies on its ability to be a constant force within the Community making one miracle happen at a time for people with disabilities.

I donated and I think it would be a great idea if you did too.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

A few good reasons to...

Booze this weekend:

1. The Bruins playoffs start tonight at the Garden. Game 1 vs the Caps. I hope Ovechkin goes home crying.
2. The Boston Beer Summit.
3. Red Sox kick off the home opener and probably one of many 100 year celebrations  on Friday.
4. Bruins playoff game 2 at 3:00 on Saturday.
5. If you are into soccer the NE Revolution are playing the DC United.
6. Sunday it is supposed to be nice so rest up.
7. One of my favorite drinking days of the year - Marathon Monday. Sox game starts at 11:00 am so the beers start at 9.

That's a quick 7 pack of reasons to get ya drank on.

The reason I am posting this today is because my weekend starts at 3:00. If you are around Fenway I'll be at the Baseball Tavern before the game tomorrow and Monday. Saturday I'll be kicking it at the North Star before the Bruins game with MikeyT and Rio (and his mystery guest). As always shots are encouraged, drinks are recommended and beers are a must!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Dart review

We started off the night in 3rd place. We were playing the 6th place team Who Darted.

Mike "The Pres" Foley was at a NAMBLA meeting in CT so he was no where to be found. Jeffrey was still working on his backsplash for his kitchen(wink wink) so he didnt show either. And Chrissy, the reigning FAN of the week, was at home watching his baby. Undeterred we roll with 7 guys, more than enough to play.

I had never been to S 6 before but apparently Jared and Brighty have frequented the place quite a bit. Jared actually knows the bartender, who is a ginger that looks like a dude in drag but "is a wicked awesome kid". I know Foley likes the music review so I will say it felt like listening to Mix 104.1, with the exception of Tracy Chapman's Fast Car. Which I found out makes Jared want to kill himself.

I honestly can't tell you who played in what games. Of the 6 games that we needed a scorer, I scored 5 of them so I was limited in what I heard/participated in. We started out hot going 2-1 then the wheels fell off. We finished 3-9. I AM PUKING WHILE I TYPE THIS - WE WON 1 game of the next 9. We were in on each game but they just got their outs faster than we could. They have some top notch shooters on their team but not any better than anyone on our team. We could of easily won 9-3.

I have noticed that guys arent staying as late as they have in the past. No need to party like a rock star till midnight but leaving at 9:30?? Come on.


I got this email today:


Am Mr.Thomas Kevin and I will like to place an Order regarding Leg Bumpers,What is the cost price each?what type do you have in stock,And also what type of credit cards do you accept for payment, hope you answer to my request ASAP.

Thomas ..

Yes I had to look up Leg Bumpers. I just want to know if you guys are effing with me or what.
If not you can send this guy an email at

Monday, April 9, 2012

Yes Bitches

I survived another year of Lent. Giving up red meat was tougher than I thought but I persevered. I can not wait for my 1st steak and cheese sub.

This  is what I learned this weekend:
1. Shades make any room feel like it is lived in.
2. A standard game of Monopoly comes with $20,580 in Monopoly money, it is also the cash prize in a Monopoly World Championship.
3. This is what an $80 shot looks like(even if you negotiate the  price down):
4. I am not one for watching golf but the course at the Masters is god damn picturesque.
5. I do believe that Billy, the guy who has season tickets in front of us, is 100% scared of MikeyT.
6. Katie makes a mean mud pie.
7. I am looking forward to the movie Ted coming out.
8. Looks like Easter was a big hit:

9. I love to celebrate any ones birthday like its my own! 10. In China, you can hire a person to stand in line for you at a rate of $3 an hour.
11. Oscar Mayer has a new thick cut apple wood smoked bacon. It is bomb.
12. The T-shirts are in for the Mustache Pub Crawl. Only 39 days away.
13. Jeffrey realized on Easter 2012 that he can no longer rock a SMEDIUM! He is a little bit WIDER than he realized.
14. I guess when I get bombed I do not know how to use my inside/restaurant voice. Oh well.
15. I need to cut the grass in the back yard but the grass in the front yard is still have dead, any suggestions?
16. People are already bitching that the Sox are 0-3. There are 159 games left.

I put my liver on notice - Sox home opener Friday, B's playoffs Saturday, then Marathon Monday/Sox drinking Monday. I hope my check liver lisence don't come on Tuesday.

Darts is at S6 tomorrow night. Feel free to stop by - much appreash.

Friday, April 6, 2012

New Posts

So, MikeyT asked me to create a post , Reasons to booze/drink/party/get off your asses for the weekends, so I agreed. I just need to figure out if I should post it regularly on Thursdays (when the real weekend begins for the lushes) or on Friday afternoons? What do you guys think?  Also if you have any suggestions or ideas for reasons to get down on the weekends pass them along on text or email -

I just like lists so I am gonna try a list format. It is all still a work in progress.

1. Obviously there is Easter. Lets get drunk for Jesus, after we polish off our Easter Ham!
2. There is the last Bruins game of the season tomorrow at 4:00pm. Lets raise our glasses to another great season before the playoffs start again.
3. Katies brother, Matt, turned 40 on Thursday so I will be out celebrating that on Saturday night.
4. Im sure there will be Easter egg hunts up the ass this weekend. Maybe someone should have a grown up easter egg hunt but instead of eggs we hunt for nips of booze? See if someone can make this happen next year.
5. Nada Surf is playing tonight at the Paradise Rock club. I know only 1 Nada surf song - Popular.
6. There is the Super Hero/Villian Pub Crawl in Fanuel hall tomorrow at 1:00.
7. There is the Frozen 4 final - Saturday, April 7

Ferris State (26-11-5) vs. No. 1 Boston College (32-10-1), 7 p.m.
We can all root on the BC Eagles.
8. The Red Sox season kicked off yesterday so drink up to the 1st official baseball games that count.

Lets hope this post lasts longer than Chiefdudes GIL2F, Rio's recaps of Sons of Anarchy, Chrissysbetterhalfs Guy of the week, Chrissys Girl of the week and Stylegals celebrity gossip posts.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Darts (Trophy Night edition)

In honor of Tyler Seguin winning the Bruins 7th player award, I have to give the Fan of the Week nod to Chrissy. Not only did he show up before the match started, but he managed to hang in there all night and was even the last one to leave the bar. His heckling skills were in mid season form and he definitely screwed up our team more than the other team but at least it was entertaining. Due to the numerous texts, e-mails and comments complaining about the FOTW, this is the last time I will mention it. Congrats Chrissy, the trophy retires in your hands.

Now on to the matches:

501: Won 2 and 1
I was a little rusty after taking last week off and I pulled my partner Derek down with me to lose the first match.

Shawn & Mark played a close one and outlasted the other team to even things up.

Brighto & Jared won in a blowout. They came within 10 points of shutting them out and it set the tone for the night.

Cricket: Won 2 and 1
Supa P & Jeb had to endure several scoring delays and won their match easily.

Shawn & I started out slow, grinded it out in the middle and turned it up late to grab the victory.

Mark & Jared got involved in a point fest and that usually spells disaster for our team. They made it close by hitting a bunch of corks late but came up short.

301 Won 5 and 1
P took down game 1 easily and jumped out to a big lead in game 2. It was close in the end but he got it done.

Brighto was 1 dart away from a shut out in game 1 but he struggled to find the out dart. He let her back in it and in no time she was 1 dart from a win. Brighto finally took it down just in time. In game 2 they were neck and neck and it was her turn to close it out. In the rubber match he built a slim lead early and came alive in the middle. She fought back and had a shot at the win but Bright was not going to be denied.

Derek kept it close in game 1 but lost to a great throw. In game 2 he had a tough time getting in and barely avoided the shut out. He rallied back and had several chances to win but could not close the deal.

Jeb built a 150 point lead in game 1 and let it get close but hit the out before his opponent had a shot. In game 2, he again got a lead and this time he never looked back.

I played well closing out game 1 from 115 with a trip 19, single 18 & double 20. I lost a close one in game 2 and squeaked out the victory in game 3.

Jared got on fast and built a 150 point lead in the first game. It was close in the end but Jared hit the out. Game 2 was another close game start to finish. He stepped up secured the win.

Jeb sporting the 2 sweater look (yes 1 was a V neck of course) spent more time arguing with his opponent than throwing darts. It might have had something to do with the heckler but who knows. Just like in his cricket game he won the game quickly.

Final Score was a 9-3 WIN and this is just the kind of victory we needed to position us nicely for the second half playoff charge.

‘Til next time bitches,


Monday, April 2, 2012

April Showers

Do people still pull April fools day pranks? Just curious.

The fifth annual World Autism Awareness Day is April 2, 2012. Every year, autism organizations around the world celebrate the day with unique fundraising and awareness-raising events. How will you celebrate?
Thank you for celebrating the wonderful people in our lives affected by autism on April 2 and throughout April which is Autism Awareness Month.
Lets see what I learned this weekend:
1. It seems that Style gal is not really well liked by the African American community. NOW THATS GHETTO!
2. When a male honey bee climaxes during sex, his testicles explode and he dies.
3. Eating a few slices of pizza all day and then boozing is a quick easy cheap way to get bombed.
4. Sunday morning is crazy at the supermarket.
5. People were generally disappointed that  they didnt win the Mega Millions.
6. Another year, another successful Wrestlemania party.
7. Sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift awat from each other.
8. I totoally forgot to do squares for the final four and championship game.
9. is making waves on the South Shore.
10. Usually on Sundays when I am lounging around the house, I don't wear my wedding band, well sometimes I forget to put it back on Monday mornings.
11. Hopefully the t-shirts will be in next week for the 5th Annual Mustache Pubcrawl.
12. Open bar is the best bar!
13. Smoking 1 cigarette takes 11 minutes off your life span.
14. Katie doesn't really like iced coffee but she loved herself some Funky Fanabala from Mary Lous.
15. Chrissy has lost 25-30 lbs not eating carbs for Lent.
16. Today is national peanut butter and jelly day.

It was a pretty foggy weekend with lots of beers so I am 100% sure I forgot other things I learned.

Mikey T suggested that on Fridays I post "A reason to booze section" - a list of whats going on for the weekend. So I will try that this week.  If there anything you want me to include let me know.