Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Thanksgiving Bitches

Yes, one of the best holidays of the year is on the horizon - Thanksgiving. I love me some turkey and stuffing. Sorry I didn't post yesterday but 17 degree days really put a damper on my spare writing time.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. I do not know how people work the over night shift. That is for the birds.
2. Little baby MacPhail is due tomorrow. Everyone loves babies right! You know its going to be a girl right?
3. People are all excited that Hanukkah and Thanksgiving fall on the same day. Whats the big deal? Turkeys kosher right?
4. Do people still go out for Thanksgiving eve?
5. Mike G has a friend selling a used Corvette if you know anyone who is interested.
6. I used to like Subway subs but they really blow now. The meat to bread ratio is way off.
7. They still give out tetanus shots? I had to get one during a physical.
8. The Brown Jug pizza is 100% better than Santarpios.
9. Does anyone go out to a restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner, rather than cook? Just a question.
10. If I bought a turducken I would cover that shit in bacon while it cooked. It would be a Porturducken.
11. My bathroom is finally done, just waiting on the glass doors to be installed.
12. Since Xmas is coming here is a gift for that Star wars fan in your life.
13. Have you seen this Meet The Sloths on Animal Planet? Fucking awesome.
14. I don't understand the love with Dr. Who. Can someone explain this to me?
15. There is no need for Christmas movies or music to be on before Thanksgiving.
16. Anyone have any suggestions for a venue where Mario should get married? I guess Atlantis is out.
17. Kelly Armstrong has moved outta Southie and back to the burbs.
18. I have said it before and I will say it again there should not be any Thursday night NFL games.

I hope that everyone has a safe and happy holiday weekend.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Boo to me

So last night while bullshitting back and forth on texts I realized that I didn't post things I learned this week. What a knucklehead I am(still trying to curb my swearing). Then I get the TMX review to post and it reminded me again. So here it is.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. When Riccio's wife is away, Sean becomes a candidate for father of the year.
2. It is not too late to bribe Chrissy to become godmother or godfather for his unborn child.
3. Random text with nothing more than a blunt rude yet funny statement are the best.
4. Looks like Rio may of found his 1st home in Saugus, it has been a long process but it may be coming to an end.
5. The Annual Whitley street hockey game is on. Saturday, December 14 at 12 noon. Be there or be Smiddy.
6. People are still posting gym selfies?
7. Is there any thing worse than not being sick enough to be bed ridden and hopped up on meds but achy and not right where you can't really get anything done?
8. Did you know Nickerson can see the Hollywood sign from her work office?
9. Where were you Saturday? Not stacking this:

                                 13 feet by 5 feet back row 8 feet by 4 feet front row

10. What bout Sunday? Looks like Demo day:

11. Jim Plunkett is still alive and kicking. He played at the Beach Comber last Friday.
12. Buffalo Wild Wings does not charge for the UFC fights.
13. We as a whole should do more for our Veterans. There needs a more concerted effort to help these people who have done so much for our country.
14. Has anyone seen Tom Newton? Haven't heard or seen him in a while. Is he on the lamb?
15. How do I become governor of Patriots Nation?
16. Has anyone else caught this Fantasy show on NBC sports channel, Thursday nights at 6:30? Shaun King(or @realshaunking) has not missed a buffet since he stopped playing in the NFL.

17. Those tornadoes out in the Midwest were crazy!
18. How long are you supposed to fast for before getting a physical?

Till next week. As always I will try to do better.

TMX week 11 review

Week 11 is in the books.

There are only 6 weeks for people to make their push for the money and for the Slippery Wizards to try and get out of the refurnished basement he's been in all season!! The top 6 teams are separated by less than 100 pts so the money is still up for grabs!! Nutsaway is deliquent on the fees and losing 10pts a week Tmx is trying to schedule a TMX TELETHON to raise the funds but is being caught up in legal red tape (stay tuned Tmx is here to help). Speaking of which, Tmx mistakenly called Jets D pickup of the week and well by all accounts the 1 point its scored shows IT WAS NOT. Apologies to Jerkshots who even ended their Tmx silence by offering up a rare quote by owner Wes Cash " Robfrey wins. Get used to it. You can quote us on that" Real cryptic as their isn't a team in ADSL named "Robfrey". The Tmx investigation team is working night and day to crack this cryptic quote.
Tmx will get to the bottom of this using all its resources.

 The All Iggles had another big week despite byes lets take a look.

QB  B.ROELTHISBERGER                      44PTS                 NUTSAWAY
RB  R.RICE                                         27PTS                 SLIPPERY WIZARDS
RB  C.RAINEY                                     40PTS                 BEACH BUMS
WR M.FLOYD                                      33PTS                JERKSHOTS
WR H.DOUGLAS                                  27PTS                SLIPPERY WIZARDS
TE  D.WALKER                                    20PTS                IN PEYTON WE TRUST
K   D.CARPENTER                               13PTS                 SETITFGIT
D   BEARS                                          20PTS                 BLACK DYNAMITE


Well Jerkshots made the move and started All Iggles regular S. Hauschka but put up 33 with a wide receiver. Slippery Wizards showing why they are in last putting over 50 on the All Iggles. Tmx tried to reach out  with All Iggles proud owner but seems he is bunkered down again and not able to be contacted(probably on the move). The amount of point being put up in a league with a flex player is alarming. Six weeks left to get it right but Tmx is not to confident that the league with make the right plays!! Reminder of All Iggles rule number one if you feel good enough that you need a player you start that player 40pts for a player pick up is crazy. Iggles smirks.

Onto the players that were actually started.
First place again this week was Setitfgit with 139, the Stafford/Megatron train just keeps rolling.
2nd was Jerkshots with 135 so close but one bad play cost them in a bye week no less
3rd was Black Dynamite with 131 led by Shady Mccoy
4th was Sflabo with 126 got big days from Vjax and the CJ who is officially BACK
5th was Beachbums with 121 who rode new qb Foles, Jordy and Seahawks d
6th place was Favorite New Kid with 111 who got a big game from Antonio Brown
7th place with 110 was Dmc who had exciting Monday night action and Cam Newton coming up big.
The final  three were  Slippery Wizards 101; In Peyton we trust 91 and Nutsaway with 76 (86 minus his 10 for not paying). Tmx is busy with the cryptic message sent by Jerkshots but did make a couple calls.

First call was to Trent Richardson of the winning team Setitfgit. Trent is struggling this year and Setitfgit started him over better play D. Brown. Hey T-Rich it Tmx whats up?? " Man Tmx now is not the time I got a lot going on. No quotes. My play speaks for itself" Well T-Rich by play are you referring to the porn you did? That play? Is that effecting you on the field? " Oh Tmx I wish we could speak on better times tell my owners I'm sorry at least I wasn't a first round pick" Well T-Rich actually you were but good luck in the porn industry because right now that looks like were you're putting in the most effort!!

Next up Tmx called good friend Steven Ridley. Hey Rid whats good?? " oh man Tmx how you been you see my new haircut?? Fresh to death right?? I"m balling for sure TD last night' Uhhm Rid you realize  you're carrying the football like a live lobster fumbling all over the joint right?? " oh come on Tmx i'm doing work how's my fantasy owner doing?? Great right?" Actually struggling and you're the main reason? " Well tell homeboy to get himself a fresh haircut and chill no biggie!! Rids is off !!! Man my hair is tight" Hmm well looks like both calls this week were to rbs that aren't focused on the upcoming last 6 weeks!! Lets hope the rest of the league is more focused. The last week of byes are here so its go time. Lets relax this week on hammy dances and let the final 6 weeks play out. Trade deadline is coming and there are a few out there. Rumors swirling with Beachbums having no qb week 12 that they are looking ACTIVELY. Tmx will stay on it. Good luck this week and call Tmx or Folan Dot Com with any breaking news or even cryptic quotes.

TMX out.

Anyone know if Favorite New Kid reads this? 

Friday, November 15, 2013

TMX week 10 review

Tmx coming in hot with a late week 10 review!! 

The top is a three team battle and Slippery Wizards are looking to clinch the dress wearing last place spot. The big bye weeks are past and now its a race to see who can make it to the finish. 
The trading deadline is coming and we had another trade this week with Dmc getting the number 2 tight end in the league Julius Thomas along with Pierre Thomas (no relation fools) and Manny Sanders and shipping Slippery Wizard two starters in Gio Bernard and Josh Gordon along with Greg Olsen. Tmx loves trades and is always hoping teams work things out. 

Speaking of which S. Hauschka a local boy should/could be on the block for Jerkshots. He's a regular on the All Iggles so unless Jerkshots is in kahoots with All Iggles I can't see why he wouldnt offer him up???

Lets get to the All Iggles team(starring Mike Mamula):

QB                          Rg3                      33pts                         Setitfgit
RB                          P.THOMAS            26PTS                        SLIPPERY WIZARDS
RB                          A.BROWN             23PTS                         FAVORITE NEW KID
WR                        J. BOYKIN              20PTS                         JERKSHOTS
WR                        G.TATE                 24PTS                         BEACH BUMS
TE                          C.FEENER             7PTS                           BEACH BUMS
D                            RAIDERS              22PTS                         SFLABO
K                           you know who        16PTS                         JERKSHOTS


 Beach bums putting two players on the All Iggles, this late in the season, is a rare mis-step for this marathon running owner. Jerkshots the one time rival of Iggles seems to be putting players and definately is putting his kicker on there every week. Tmx is getting its investigation team together and we know they handle things!!! 

Favorite New Kid (who doesn't speak much, post on the message boards or even have any ones phone number) sat A. Brown who he had stored away and started a player who was listed as INACTIVE prior to the game?? Somewhere all Iggles smirks. This is the time of the year when teams either fold or make their way to the top so lets see what happens!! 
This weeks winner was 3 time winner Setitfgit with 138.
 2. Beachbums 136 
3. Black Dynamite with 125 
4. Nutsaway with 122 ( Nutsaway had a shot at the week til Mike James broke and ankle after first series where he had 5 rushes 41yds---put in tough break joke here--) 
5. DMC 113 
6. Peyton We trust 109 
7. Jerkshots 105 
8. Slfabo 105 
9. Slippery Wizards 103 
10. Fav New Kid 98 

Tmx was busy this week, sorry for the soft recap but TMX is NEVER too busy to make calls and called Setitfgit's Brandon Marshall who put up 30 plus this week! Bmarsh whats good its TMX " Tmx oh sniggy snaps long time no talk!! You see me this Cutty or no Cutty I gets mine!!" Hahah sniggy snaps? " yeah i made that one up on the spot!! Anyway hows TMX doing you guys get videos yet?? Bmarsh needs a mofu*cking video on the review!! Can you imagine that?? Yo TMX I'm going to make a highlight video and send it and you can put it up there!! TMX I got you!! Bmarsh off to save TMX OUUUUUUUUT" Well guess Mr Marshall got some big plans wow!! 

TMX also made a rare call to a NON STARTER who was started this week. Ronnie Hillman for Favorite New kid (Donnie D - Can't wait for the Wahlbergers Reality Show) was in the starting lineup and listed as inactive before the game started. Hey Ronnie its TMX whats up. "TMX right? Nice try, Knowshon enough with the jokes CLICK" Hey Ronnie its TMX don't hangup we are calling to ask how you feel about..........." Peyton that you? everyone thinks your a nice guy but this prank phone call stuff is mean. Look I'm trying to get in the starting lineup, I fumble one FUCKING TIME,  don't call me pretending to be TMX. TMX calls starters and stars i was neither CLICK" Well Tmx made 4 more attempts and the phone was off the hook?? We also attempted to call Favorite New Kid ownership but they are not listed. Wild weeks continue!! 

Well its week 11 lets hope its injury free and exciting. Keep those Hammy Dances at bay.

TMX out.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

8 weeks

Can you believe there is only 8 weeks left in the year?
I hope to god you all have started your Christmas shopping.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. Lauren Brady is partying like a rock star in Seattle.
2. I hate how the winter brings such dry skin.
3. Jeffrey is fighting with his bank to get his money for his house remodel.
4. The salted caramel hot chocolate from Dunks is legit.
5. Fantasy football is insane to me these days.
6. I could probably eat beef stew every day.
7. I really hate painting even more so than I thought.
8. People are talking about this Celtics team and comparing them to this years Red Sox team. RELAX PEOPLE its been 8 games.
9. Why do people feel the need to be rude because they are in a bad mood?
10. The wagon lasted 4 days.
11. I love Thanksgiving; can not wait for turkey.
12. Congrats on Rob and his wife running a half marathon.
13.  Jeffrey is growing his stache for Movember.

14. How come no one ever wants to go out and grab drinks at Buffalo Wild wings?
15. Either you are part of it or you are not:

16. Who gets a bill on Wednesday and then one on Friday saying they will send you to a collection agency? I mean I just got the bill 2 days ago.
17. Not really looking forward to having to change my retirement accounts at work.
18. My wife is the weakest person in America(physically), I don't think she can lift a bag of dog food.
19. Is it wrong to put sweaters on your dogs when you walk them?
20. Make sure your children nap. No one wants to deal with a brat.

Till next week.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Happy Veterans day

Have a nice and safe Veterans day everyone.

Ill post things I learned tomorrow.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

TMX week 9 recap

Tmx is here for the recap of Week 9 which was a bye week hell for many but you wouldn't know it by the numbers put up by the dreaded All Iggles team!!

All Igggles had its highest total ever according to the Tmx stat crew.
Lets get right to it!!

QB- FOLES            69PTS  NUTSAWAY
RB- STACY            37PTS   DMC
TE-  OLSEN           14PTS  DMC

 I guess that call to Foles a few weeks back comparing to him to the Detmers really motivated him as he put up an All Iggles record SIXTY NINE points!! Two running backs helped out with over 30 in a week with 6 teams on byes!! Peyton we trust left 25pts on the board in his record setting week (more on that later). The season is now in the second half and the All Iggles should be struggling instead of striving!! The top 3 is now under 10 points with Dmc making up 70pts this week and moving full on into the hunt!! 7 teams are within 100 and after seeing the jump Dmc made its really anyone's game. The bottom two are separated by 20 and are in a fight for the cellar that could come down to the final week. There were injuries again this week in the year of the injury its no surprise. Pryor, Sproles, Mcfadden, Rudolph, Rodgers and Foster all went down this week.

Big names big injuries continue to be the theme of this fantasy season. 8 weeks left and many more injuries will follow I'm being told that HAMMY DANCE has now topped electric slide, Mambo #5 and the chicken dance as the wedding dance of 2013 (shout out to the Board Guy Mario who got engaged last week). J*rkshots are probably happy to hear that. (due to pending court proceedings TMX is not allowed to use their name when referring to the hammy dance on the blog) Let see the record setting week and how it played out. The first three time weekly winner DMC came in first with 174 doing it with 5 guys over 20 points a balanced team that should easily finish in the money. 2nd place this week was New Kid with 157 who played Brady ( is he back?) for a 50 burger; 3rd place was Jerkshots who also got a 50 burger from Andre Johnson; 4th this week was Sflabo with 142 who is riding Graham and CJ2K to create distance from the basement; 5th place was Black Dynamite with 136 who had Morris and Luck put up numbers; 6th place was Setitfgit with 112 who managed to break 100 despite not having his Detroit studs thanks to Marshall and Gronk; 7th place was Nutsaway who despite sitting Foles rode his Lacy/Ridley rb team to 112. The bottom three were Slippery Wizards (no shock) Beach bums (SHOCK- but lost Rodgers) and new adsl low record holder In Peyton We Trust who finished the week with 43 points and has fallen back to 7th place from 2nd. Luckily he gets Peyton back off the bye and can make up the ground.

Tmx made a call to Zac Stacy stud running back on the surging DMC team. Hey Z-man its Tmx whats good? "Oh wow Tmx your calling me?? Zac Stacy?? Wow what an honor hows it going?? "Well we are doing good, how are you?, knowing you've rushed for 261yds and 2 tds last two weeks and you cant crack the starting lineup on DMC? You thinking about demanding a trade? " oh come on TMX you trying to start trouble? You know i'm just happy that Dmc drafted me." Uhm Z-man he picked you up on waivers kid? " Wait what? Dude picked me up on waivers to bench my ass?? That ain't cool. Maybe I will ask for a trade, you guys a trading league??' Well now Z-man you're the one starting trouble TMX aint going down that road!! Keep up the good work hope you can get in a start. " Ha funny, later TMX love your recaps" Well there you have it now onto the record setting weekly low.
TMX had a list of people to call starting from the manager who picked up Alex Smith as a bye week replacement and then benched Spiller and Amendola but we decided to give an old friend Dez Bryant a call as he is the voice of that team. Hey Dez what is up its Tmx. " Aint nothing up we still dominating ADSL in first. Love our management team got that swagger 2013 champs what what get at me fools!!" Uhm Dez your in 7th had the lowest total EVER in ADSL, 43 pts?? " Hold up wait what?? How'd that happen?? We the champs??? Who's in first?? The Beach Bums?? You think they the champs?? You wanna crown them?? CROWN THEIR ASSES but we are already 2013 champs!!" Actually your  management put in for a name change to 5th place team? " Wait so they given up on us?? What is going on??? I may ask for a trade?? You all trade in that league??" Oh real cute Dez I know you read the blog." Hahahaha I'm just playing, can you read?. Anyway I know I'm about to show my ass and scream on the sidelines and go off so we will be back 2013 champs OUT' Nothing like a fired up Dez. Well week 10 has Thursday action and less teams on bye. Lets hope the hammy dance takes the week off and the races for last and top spots tighten.

Good luck. Tmx out

Monday, November 4, 2013

Hope you know where your long johns are

The cold came in fast. Nothing like it being 77 on Saturday and 32 today. I had to break out my winter jacket.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. I guess 2 kids can split a bag of regular M&Ms but not a bag of peanut M&M's.
2. Congrats to Mario and Ashley on their engagement. Now the fun begins, picking a date, a venue, the wedding party, the amount of people who can go...lots of luck.
3. Baby Macphail should be here in under a month. Anyone want to bet if its a boy or a girl? I am taking girl.
4. Man you trim your beard and some people act like you murdered their 1st born.
5. The roller coaster that is fantasy football continues - and Chrissy is throwing a hissy fit. After trading for Manning and changing his name to 2013 Champs he is currently in 5th and falling. I just sayu it was week 9 bye week hell.
6. Eggplant doesn't have much of a taste/flavor.
7. I didn't make the parade. My scheduled meeting with the shower glass door guy ran over.
8. I love that Jake Peavy bought his duck boat that he was riding on during the parade.
9. I think if you were lucky enough to be at McGreeveys or Daisy after the parade and got to drink with a shirtless Mike Napoli then my hats off to you.
10. I only had 10 trick or treaters this year.
11. Not only did I get to be godfather again yesterday but changed the game up and the ceremony going forward.
12. Every time you go to the car dealership they want to go above and beyond what you need, bro I just need an oil change.
13. Why can't we just get rid of daylight savings? Just split the difference? When we spring forward just spring 1/2 hour ahead. It seems like a nice solution.
14. Rio is looking for a house again. Keep ya head on a swivel.
15. The food at the Junction is always 50% off and its damn tasty.
16. There was a Smiddy and Kohansky sighting this weekend.
17. Waiting to hear back to see if the rink is available December 7th or 14 for street hockey.
18. I would rather mud and tape and fix holes in dry wall than paint.

Till next week people. Stay classy.