Monday, December 30, 2013

Year end

I am not one to make New Years Resolutions but can we all agree that we can try to be a little bit nicer this year? I will try to have more patience, be a bit nicer and try hard not to swear as much. I wish you all well on your resolutions.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. When you see a black guy playing 3 $200 hands of black jack at the casino it may be Ty Law. Just saying.
2. Who needs fancy steaks at Fred and Steve's when you can have all you can eat KFC.
3. Lemon Pepper pork roast is fucking legit and I don't even like lemon flavored things that much.
4. I can understand how people stress out around the holidays, just get drunk. It makes it way easier.
5. How do you feel about January 11th as a Yankee regift swap/Patriots play off party? Sounds good right?
6. In case you didn't notice there is a count down till Dave and Doe come back from Baltimore. They said 2 years TOPS - Count down till December 31, 2015 is on. Only 730 days away.
7. Hey new boots, FUCK YOU!
8. I am surprised that more people don't know how busy the movies are on Christmas.
9. Hey Dunkins your coffee is getting really watered down lately. WHAT THE FUCK!
10. Brian Folan hates text message groups.
11. Everyone once and a while Jeffrey gets on 9 but he can't bounce back the next day.
12. Do not fuck around with Uncle Juicy.
13. Fantasy football is all done, now I can focus on my fantasy hockey team.
14. Screaming 2 and 3  year olds will make you never want to have children ever!

Till next year.

Friday, December 27, 2013


Tmx is here with the Week 17 PREVIEW!! Look this is why we lift all those weights all season!!

It's the final week and everything is on the line!! Tmx realizes a lot of leagues are over, due to uncertainty of players blah blah but this is what fantasy football is all about!! To the other leagues that say "oh no my studs aren't playing what do I do", well why don't you take off bye weeks to?? Get outta here with that!!

Handcuffs, waiver wires and pray that the year of the HAMMY DANCE doesn't get you on the final day!! There's no ALL IGGLES this week its all about what teams need to do; either locked down their spot or move up to get into the money.

 Lets take a look at what we have for week 17.

First place and already spending first place money is Favorite New Kid riding possible fantasy MVP Charles up 88pts on Beach Bums and 113 on DMC. The Beach Bums are in the 2nd spot, the Vegas odd makers had them only 88 pts getting Rodgers back to make the push for the top - Keep your head on a swivel Donny D!! DMC is back 113 and his rag tag red cross unit is trying to hold on and hoping Killah Cam can somehow put up a big game to hold off Setitfgit and the Detroit City all star team he has.  Tmx said it a million times if their is a meaningless game and you can pick one qb to take your team to a boatload of fantasy points that qb is Matt Stafford!! The race for the money is on!!!

Black Dynamite and In Peyton We trust are anchored in at 5 and 6 and both are hoping for big weeks for a 75 dollar payday. The final 4 teams are in the closest battle in the history of ADSL for last place!! TEN POINTS separate Slippery Wizards, Sflabo, Nutsaway and Jerkshots!! Slippery Wizards only prayer is the Muddy Rivers has something to play for at 425 and Mr Garbage time Josh Flash Gordon can carry him out of the bottom!! Sflabo has been working the waiver wire so hard to get out of the dress like a fat girl at the Weymouth prom.
Nutsaway is in the best spot to get out of the bottom with Brees coming off two slow weeks and Lacy  going againt the worst rushing d in modern history!! Jerkshots the healthiest team in ADSL this year had a minor blip with Romo possibly out but with Lynch and several favorable matchups Jerkshots one week stay in the basement looks to be short lived!!

No matter how the season shakes out it will come down to the last week and thats all we ask!! Tmx would like to thank the commish for another wonderful year of keeping the league going.
TMX out.

Monday, December 23, 2013

What do you want for Christmas?

Christmas is in 2 days. I hope that you all have banged out  your shopping lists. Me? I like to bang mine out last minute, so Ill see ya at the mall later today.

This is what I learned this weekend (A quick 12 pack):
1. Shopping at Christmas time gives Eric anxiety.
2. New boots are the shit.
3. Why is it that I have at least 7 pairs of gloves? I mean I only have 1 pair of hands?
4. I stuffed a pork roast with fig, goat cheese, cranberries, scallions and pears then wrapped it all in bacon. Needless to say it was the shit.
5. Why don't they sell cases of beer any more? Its either 6, 12, 18, 30 or 36 pack. I get that its two 12 packs for a case but still.
6. Words with Friends is still my favorite phone game of all time.
7. When you get a hair cut is it normal for the barber to trim your beard? I think its very bizarre.
8. Pure Hockey has tons of hockey equipment but not really any hockey attire.
9. I don't mind Christmas music at all.
10.  It is not my fault that MikeyT is slacking on his TMX reports. He went all team #Iphone and kinda bailed.
11. You cant complain that it snows, then that its icy, then its 60, then we are not going to have a white Christmas. You can not fucking have it both ways!!
12. Tom Kelly goes away for the 1st time in 40 years and gets delayed 3 times then stranded in the NJ airport over night. Needless to say he won't be going away for another 40 years.

I hope that everyone has a nice Christmas.

This is my Christmas Jam:

Kwanzaa starts on Thursday

Monday, December 16, 2013

You missed hockey

The Annual Whitley Street Hockey Classic was this past weekend. We had a smaller showing that normal with Mike And Jason "Axle" Foley (No relations) returning to play. No matter we had a blast, even if we are all banged up. Mikey T won the coveted Rich Peverly MVP award. Hopefully next year we will have a few more guys and we can keep the tradition going.

This is what I learned this weekend:
1. I guess strippers have to pay $150 to the club per good shift to work there(cheaper during the day).
2. Jamal Charles are you serious?
3. I guess the kids now a days are doing hate finger banging. Its all the rage(double entendre).
4. Nora Mitchell still has 15 Celtics games for sale. If you are looking for a last minute Christmas gift.
5. Having the Bigshow fall on you does not feel well.
6. The new Hobbit movie is fucking awesome.
7. Some people wilt when the shit hits the fan others thrive. What do you do?
8. Dear Macys thanks for sending me a broken snow globe. You guys are assholes.
9. Hong Kong Dave is now on Pinterest. Yeah you  heard me. He is probably pinning cookie recipes as you read this. I don't even think Chrissy is on Pinterest. Posting little fruit Santa hats for his peeps.

10. Rumor has it Nickerson is making her annual Christmas trip home and yet she hasn't called any of us to make plans for drinks.
11. A bucket of Coors Light is $16 at the Half door and Chrissy is mad.
12. Santander is fun to say. 
13. Sucks to be Breston, this is on the wall at S6 -

14. Who gets a vasectomy before 35 and with no children? One of Chrissy's best friends - Scotty too Hottie!
15. Make sure you check out Bobby Shakes Sports .
16. Booze is an acceptable gift for anyone over the age of 21, even if they are recovering.
17. How do you get shut off  after 5 beers in a 2 1/2 hour period at a strip club?

Till next week you animals.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

TMX Week 14 review

AND DOWN THE STRETCH WE COME................ Three weeks left and we have a new leader at the top Who's Your Favorite New Kid with the right stuff this week leaps up 113 points for a tie for the top with Setitfgit who got snowed out by his high powered Detroit offense!! The top 5 are now separated by 50pts no more games people we have ourselves a fight to the finish at the top. The bottom is still tight with Nutsaway inching his way out and after seeing  the 100pt jump made at the top no one at the bottom should feel safe!! Lets get right to the All Iggles:

QB                     MCCOWN                       57PTS                 NUTSAWAY
RB                     MATHEWS                      26PTS                 FAVORITE NEW KID
RB                     REESE                            28PTS                 SFLABO
WR                   STREATER                      27PTS                  SETITFGIT
WR                   COLSTON                        34PTS                 DMC
TE                    CLAY                               25PTS                 NUTSAWAY
D                      CHIEFS                           37PTS                  DMC
K                      FOLK                               14PTS                 SETITFGIT


Nutsaway, Seititfgit and Dmc dropping big points on the Iggles this week!! Hate to see 70 plus points on the Dmc bench this late in the season, I'm sure Iggles was making snow angels and smirking in the land of brotherly love. The Iggles team is still getting huge numbers lets hope with playoffs clinched and players resting we can put an end for to the Iggles run. Lets take a look at the players that actually were started this week.

 First place and jumping the 100pts was Favorite New Kid with 181 led by Brady and Charles;  2nd was Peyton We Trust with 159 led by who else but Peyton with 44; Nutsaway despite leaving points on Iggles had 153 led by Brees and newly acquired Rainey; Dmc was in fourth with big games from Forte and Cards d; Black Dynamite came in 5th with Mccoy going off in the snow for a 140 week; Slippery Wizards came in 6th with 118 led by one man team Josh Gordon; Beach Bums rotating qbs came in with 111 as Foles was his leading scorer and traded Mccown led the Iggles; the bottom 3 were Sflabo 103; Jerkshots with a healthy romo 86 and Setitfgit with his worse week this year 67.

Tmx  was tied up with calls this week but will be certain to make the calls next week.

Short week with a big game coming up Thursday that could have alot of implications. 

Good luck, stay away from hammy dances. Tmx out

Monday, December 9, 2013


Chrissy and Alison had a baby girl - Harper Rose Macphail (obviously named after Chrissy's favorite athlete Bryce Harper). We all know how Chrissy loves his money so he can write off Harper for the whole year, SUCK IT GOVERNMENT!

This is what I learned  this weekend:
1. Everyone loves babies. I mean everyone.
2. Spilt Milk is having a raffle to raise money for under privileged children on the Cape who need gifts on Christmas.

3. Apparently, it is totally acceptable to bring a 2 year old to an open bar Christmas party.
4. My bathroom is finally done. The glass doors went in on Saturday.
5. MikeyT is now team Iphone!
6. Man lots of shuffling for the annual street hockey game this Saturday. Who is in?
7. Heartburn is a mother fucker.
8. Birthdays always make for free beers. ALWAYS!
9. Mario is having a hard time finding a venue for his wedding. Any suggestions?
10. I guess if you grow a beard people assume its because you jumped on the Red Sox band wagon or you want to be Santa. What about just being lazy people?
11. Why did Bank of America change their ATM cards? All 3 of my cards look the damn same.
12. If you are going to send someone a gift for Christmas, why would you send pears and apples? Who wants that(the apples were delicious by the way)?
13. It is always funny to hear people all of a sudden are interested in the Bruins and want tickets.
14. William J Smiddy works for the IRS now?

Till next week. Stay stachy!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

TMX week 13 review

Week 13 is done and Tmx is back with the review(Had to take the holidays off)!!

 Setitfgit is still holding strong at the top holding off Beachbums while Dmc, Favorite New Kid and even Black Dynamite fight for a spot in the money!! Jerkshots could get hot and make a move while Slippery Wizards, Sflabo, In Peyton We Trust are trying to stay away from Nutsway who has taken over the cellar. Tmx made rare contact with Iggles originator and asked him how the Iggles came about? He said it happened when he saw people starting players who were not playing or just plain sucked and gave the team nothing, in some cases literally gave them ZEROS. Hmmm well Iggles apparently with no bye weeks and everyone jockeying for position that is still happening!! Three teams posted ZEROS( Beachbums, Setitfgit, Jerkshots) with starters and one team( In Peyton we Trust) had a one point effort!!

Therefore there is still a need for ALL IGGLES. Lets get to it!!

QB                      FOLES                       29PTS                              NUTSAWAY
RB                      TATE                         33PTS                              IN PEYTON WE TRUST
RB                      S.JAX                        20PTS                              JERKSHOTS
WR                     HARTLINE                  28PTS                              IN PEYTON WE TRUST
WR                     WHITE                      24PTS                               NUTSAWAY
TE                      H.MILLER                   12PTS                              SFLABO
K                        VINATIERI                  16PTS                              BEACHBUMS
D                       PANTHERS                  19PTS                              SLIPPERY WIZARDS

    Nutsaway in last place put two teams on All Iggles and the suddenly fading In Peyton We Trust added 61pts to the mix!! With teams moving around all week and the weekly price up for grabs its alarming that this is happening. Tmx always here to help found out that #skzalovestwitter is monitoring all tweets and helps people out!! This week he somehow helped out the usually waiver wire avoidist Nutsaway and told him to get Foles and start him over Brees. Nutsaway should have listened, #skzalovestwitter.
Four weeks left and starters may be resting on some team so owners have to make the right plays to make moves!! Lets try NOT to let the Iggles put up big numbers this week!!!

Now onto players that were started.
This weeks winning team was Slippery Wizards with 182. Wizards got TWO fifty burgers from Decker/Gordon tough not to win with that output
2nd was Setitfgit with 164, they are in first for a reason getting 5 players over 20pts
3rd place was Black Dynamite with 159 who also got a 50 burger from Jeffries
4th place also with a 50 burger was In Peyton We Trust, Peyton put up the 50 and the team got 144
5th was Dmc with 144 Cam and Ap played like studs
6th was Beachbums 130 who went to the wire and hit gold with Mcown
7th place was Sflabo with 129 who rode Wilson and Monday night action.
The bottom 3 were Favorite New Kid; Nutsaway and Jerkshots.

Tmx called Jerkshots, wr Jarret Boykins a waiver wire stud who this week put up a ZERO. Hey Boyks its TMX
whats going down? " TM............(phone rustling) sorry Jarrett can not and will not comment on his performance in accordance with the pending legal action being taken forthwith against TMX by complaintant Jerkshot Inc". Oh here we go Jerkshots let it go. " we will have no comment per our team policy and legal team, try calling Robfrey they seem to love to talk" Well I guess we are getting no comments from Jerkshots. Tmx next call hottest player in fantasy Josh Gordon. Hey Josh its TMX whats good? "Yo TMX hows it be? I'm just sitting here listening to Redman watching Half Baked with my boys hows everything?" Whoa whoa Josh be careful you know you got suspended for 4 games before you were traded twice in ADSL and found a home with the Slippery Wizards "nah nah TMX ain't like that no more I'm getting high on 50 burgers now brah, you see i put up two in a row with no name qbs? Heard we are pulling in some cat off the street this week, wont be easy but i'm heading out to practice? Peace, love and 50 burgers TMX. Gordon gotta fly" Well there you have it Josh Gordon looks to be a sure fire top pick next year if this keeps up!!

 The season is winding down and its been a wild wild one with injuries and each week a monster performance coming out of nowhere. So far the Setitfgit team has been able to ride the Detroit offense to and impressive run but as we've learned one good week can propel a team. The trade deadline is the 5th and TMX  knows that there are teams looking to deal for example all Iggles star Sjax is being heavily shopped so answer your phones and make a deal. TMX has its ears to the streets so lets see what goes down. Good luck in week 14. TMX out

Monday, December 2, 2013

December to remember

I was going to write this in an email to the expecting parents but I figured why not share with the world instead.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. MacPhail,

Now that you are having a December baby there are a few rules to follow:
1. Never ever wrap their birthday gift in Christmas wrapping paper.
2. Never give them a combo birthday/christmas gift - EVER.
3. Do not name them some seasonal name, such as Joy, Holly, Merry or Kris.
4. Do not skimp out on their gift since Christmas is coming (here is some Happy meal toy child), no one told you to be fucking 9 months ago.
5. Do not attempt to throw a birthday cake out during a Christmas get together.
6. If you are going to attempt any of the things above then just celebrate their birthday in July.

As you can see December babies/birthdays are important to me. I've been fucked too many times by assholes, including my own parents.

23 shopping days...

till Christmas!! Plenty of shopping time available. I am still a size 38 x 32 pants and 2 XL in shirts.

This is what I learned this weekend (just a quick 12 pack to start the week right):
1. Black Friday, Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday are all within days of each other. Maybe you should spread that shit out.
2. You start to feel old when Guns n' Roses and Metallica start playing on the classic rock station.
3. People who give themselves nick names should get a kick in the dick.
4. With Facebook and other social media why are there still class reunions?
5. Still no baby MacPhail yet.
6. If you go to Pizzeria Regina and wait almost a hour in 35 degree temps and you don't use Luey Juice then you should of gone to Half Time Pizza.
7. The 30 oz tomahawk rib-eye chop from Alba in Quincy is fucking legit.
8. Since when does the DMV send out reminders that your license is expiring.
9. Home made turkey soup is awesome.
10. What are your top 5 Christmas movies? And is Die Hard on that list?
11. Did Paul Walkers death break the internet?
12. The worst part of the Christmas season is the fucking Elf on a Shelf.

See you next week.