Ok ok ok I know I have not written in a while. But I have been on vacation and I have been trying to clear my head. I have lots of things going on. I won't really spill my guts on here but I do feel much better.
A wise girl(Katie) told me that "God will not give you more than you can handle" and you know what she is right. It doesn't have to be fair but fuck it - I am, who I am for a reason. He must trust me to do what I feel is right, or at least trust me enough that I won't fuck up too bad. HA!!
Now I am not one to preach god or anything like that so I am not going to start now. I am just stating a fact - that I am a spiritual person and I BELIEVE EVERYTHING happens for a reason, good or bad there is a reason! The problems that SURROUND my life are by no means a reflection on me and my life. Does that make sense? I have read and re-read that a few times and shit I think it sounds ok.
I went and spoke to an old friend yesterday and she didn't say much, just listened but after our talk I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Sometimes a little, or in my case a whole hell of a lot of, talking helps ease your mind.
I know I know people are going to say "Damn Derek everyone has problems" and you know what...you are 100% right! You just have to find a way to deal with them... Maybe your friends can help? Maybe your parents? Maybe a co-worker? Maybe a stranger? All I am trying to say is WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS BUT WE ARE NOT ALONE IN TRYING TO DEAL WITH OUR PROBLEMS.
People have an enormous amount of capacity for pain. I know this. I also know that I have a great set of friends who I can count on and who I can trust. I hope they know that they can count on me as well.