Tuesday, August 11, 2009

What a Bomb!

So this Monday I went to see the move G.I. Joe, being that this was my favorite cartoon as a child I figured I would give the movie a chance as Transformers was a great cartoon which they turned into a fantastic movie. Sorry to say but the movie was horrible, I don’t even know how to describe how bad it was. My wife was pleading with me to just walk out of the theater, but I told her it couldn’t get any worse it had to get better. The whole plot of the movie if you could call it that was basically to set up the sequel. It involved the Joes’s stopping Destro and the Cobra’s from releasing a nanotechnology bomb that ate metal. But there where so many side plots and back in time memories that it was impossible to keep straight what was happening and why.
The special effects where downright laughable (when Moses parted the sea in the original Ten Commandments movie, that was more realistic than this shit) and the acting aside from Sienna Miller (Ana Borones) and Chris Eccleston (Destro) was atrocious. Dennis Quaid played General Hawk, he was OK, but had many cheesy lines, including “knowing is the half the battle”. The main character Duke (Channing Tatum) could be the worst actor in the whole movie, where they found this guy is beyond me.
Needless to say I was extremely disappointed that I had just paid 20 dollars to watch what is probably the shittiest movie of the summer. I’m sure part 2 will be coming out next year; I just hope they improve on every aspect of this movie; a good start would be in killing off Duke and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) and bringing in Flint or Lady Jane.


d said...

How was Snake eyes? Where was Gung ho? How was Cobra comander/Dr Mindbender?

Bigshow said...

snake eyes was good, they could have given him better fight scenes with storm shadow..cobra commander wasn't revealed until the last ten minutes of the movie, dr. mindbender was in the movie for maybe 2 minutes

Anonymous said...

i love movie reviews! good work bigshow!