Text of the week

Since this is Chrissy's week on the blog, I am pleased to bring this text of the week(this is the actual text conversation between Chrissy and I, as it is typed) -

C(hrissy): Nothing like coming home & having to call 911 cuz ur tenant is dead.
D(erek):What??
D: The black dude died from the cold?
C: Think so
D: My heart just broke
C: My stomach is turning. Cops asking me questions.
D: Shoukd of had him upstairs
C: I tried he was stubborn
D: Well now hes dead!
C: Well don't have anyone die in your house. Called 911 @ 1145 cop just said another 3 hours
D: Whoa. Are you ok? Good thibg the baby wasnt home
C: Shes upstairs w ali
D: Oh you took the day off to pick them up?
C: Ya I havent seen them in over a week. Was gonna b a nice surprise
D: oh man
C: Welcome home hunny theres a dead guy down stairs
D: That rooms bad news. Set Tooma down a path of destruction and now dudes dieing.
C: Hahaha well I need a new tenant
C: And tooma was down that path long b4 the room.
D: You want me to ask around? Put it on the blog? Ask Dave and Doe, they may want a place up here while they search for a forever home

... of the week

All of a sudden people stopped texting me good, solid, funny shit and only sent me things that said - "This should be text of the week", "why didn't I get text of the week", "why was that text of the week", "...I texted so and so and it was so great I cant believe they didn't forward it to you for text of the week", and finally " you only get text of the week if you include a photo of Derek" . I have decided to ADD Tweet of the week. I know that this blog goes through spurts where it lags and I am always trying to update it with fun entertaining shit. I think this can be a great addition.

Now, I know I am still getting used to this Twitter thing. I don't know who to follow(the people who you think would be good; aren't. The ones who should suck dinky: are bomb. And some of the most randoms have the best shit to say), why everyone is dying for a RT, what to hash tag or how to start trending randomness but damn it I am gonna get to the bottom of it all.  It will be a learning process for me as well as you. Since I only tweet from my phone, I am going to put the tweet up in text form - @said person of interest.

If you are on twitter maybe you can start following them or maybe it will make you want to join twitter. Either way, I saw this Tweet today and it gave me the whole idea for Tweet of the week because I literally laughed out loud. I mean we have all been David Hasselhoff drunk on a bathroom floor drunk with a cheese burger slurring our words, RIGHT? I mean this week alone - 3 times!!

"@blakeshelton: On a scale of drunk I'm ringing in a solid "Cheese Burger" on the David Hasselhoff scale...."

If you have any ideas on how to make the blog better send me an email, text or a tweet.

You can follow me on Twitter @drunknothings

Text of the week

*the name has been changed to protect the innocent

Text 1: Hey *JAMES* I was just thinking about that blow job I gave you in that alley. You should come and meet up, like old times.

Text 2: OH SNAP, I'm home in bed right now. Talk to ya later

Text of the week

I guess people are bitching that I post things when I get them plus I don't post text of the week enough.
Well if you start sending me other things than "ha" and "lol" we could get this shit going. Ill take forwards from 3rd parties!!

received April 30, 6:25

Text 1 - Fwd: Do you see Mark n Supah? I do

Text 2 - Nice glasses

Text 1 - That's how we roll in 1985

Text of the week

And this is the random type of texts that I love to get -

Texter 1: Is jeffrey having a bachelor party?  I don't care if I'm invited to the weddding, but the party is a must






Can you guess who would of sent that to my phone??

If you want to make text of the week...send me a text today!

Text of the week...

Texter 1: I wish you bought it last night. I'll give you a better deal today!
Texter 2: Whoa was that last night drinking??
Texter 1: No some fuckface went sidewats and bounced off both guardrails on the pike and me and another drive T-boned him
Texter 1: Wanna carpool to Mendon? LOL
Texter 2: Now u can get value for it

Text of the week

Yeah I know I have been slacking on the blog. I know it, you know it, the whole fucking world knows it. Well guess what - it is a new year, I cleaned a shit load off my plate and I am FUCKING BACK!

The new feature of text of the week: I will not name the texters and let people guess in the comment section. All the texts are not just from me. People forward me shit all the time.

Texter 1:  If anyone wants to come by Tomr night to watch the nfl playoffs and drink the 100 plus beers and booze then come on by.
Texter 2: Sounds like a plan
Texter 1: You got plans with the lady?
Texter 2:  For when?
Texter 1: Saturday?
Texter 2: No her best friend from Cali is here. Plus Im working
Texter 1: Oh yeah a 3way
Texter 2: I wish! My girl ain't down with that shit! I'm lucky I get a blow job from her
Texter 1: Ohhh man
Texter 2: She's lucky she's ok in the rack!

It feels good to be back!

Text of the week

This weeks text if from the Ozzman:

Bull shit if I had weekends off like you guys I would get a girl pregnant on the dance floor scratch that two girls! And a handjob in the bathroom from a different girl while I was dressed as Dr Seuss!

I know its been a while since I posted text of the week but its been few and far between in terms of quality. There have been some gems but I cant post them when people then write that has to be text of the week.

Keep em coming...

Text of the week

This comes from Mikey T via SFlabo:

Tmx quotable from sflabo FWD: Ha spend my whole life trying to get into dresses now at 44 im trying to stay out of one. go figure

This made me laugh when I read it. I don't know if its the thought of Sflabo in a dress or the actual trying to get into dresses part but it was a good one.

Text of the week:

This weeks text of the week comes from Rio:

Rio - "Bob has a phone with a huge antenna"
Me - "Take a pic...for the blog"
Rio - "Haha ok"
Rio -

Me - "Thats impressive"
Rio -


As always keep the texts coming. This posting was more to do with how big that effing antenna was more than actual comedy. It is huge.

Text of the week:

This weeks text of the week is probably one of my favorites so far:

Mike G - "Did you know they have a test strips that check for alcohol in breast milk"
Me - "Uhm no"
Mike G - "Yup the wife bought some so she could have a few drinks, and know when it was safe to feed the baby."
Me - "Nice!"

The whole conversation left a huge smile on my face.

Keep the texts coming people.

Text of the week

Chrissy:


Me: "Wait...is that a dodge Intrepid."
Chrissy: "looks like it to me"
Me: "That from Adam??"
Chrissy: "Ya y whats up?"
Me: "Man thats a huge deliver!"
Chrisy: "I know"
Me: "You have to win now...When do you pick it up"
Me: "The Derby is so on"

The Marshfield Field starts this weekend. Chrissy now has a car for the demolition Derby. Hope everyone can make it to support him.

Text of the week:

This comes from Mike G:

Mike - "Who the f gets three bagels toasted and 4 coolatas at 1:30 when one person is working a dunks, prick."
Me - "A friend of yours??"
Mike - Nope guy in front of me, guess i'm just cranky"

I just love how he used the term prick. We need to bring that back. Look at these pricks over here. Those pricks couldn't wait five minutes. That prick keeps busting my balls...you get the idea, you bunch of pricks.

Text of the week:

Sour patch ride. blog it

Text of the week

So last Thursday morning I was sitting at my desk when I got this text at 7:25 am:

Mikey - "Just saw a homeless guy asked me how im doing said good u? wish I had ur top teeth i smashed mine fall down drunk! ha"
Me - "thats how you start a Thursday"

Only at BMC!!

Text of the week

And the winner is:

Deegs - "Am I hearing right that Welchie has joined Team Smidawgs?"
Deegs - "That means me and Los r fightin for last...no way a team of Welchie and Smidawgs fails"
Me "HAA"
Deegs - "Its unanimous...the welchie/smidawgs combo guarantees a top 5 finish... Theres a new bully on the block boys and girls"

I am sorry I had been flaking on the text of the week. MY BAD!!

Text of the week

This weeks text of the week comes from Johnny Broderick:



The Smiduation is felt at Mary Ann's

Smidawgs Productions was top notch in 08-09. Business cards, t shirts and bumper stickers. Promotions! Promotions! Promotions!

What happened?
Did the Smidawg move to fast?
Did he get burned out?
Did he expand too quick?

One week he is in contract talks to sponsor a fighter, under the Smidawg moniker and then BLAM he is out there pounding sand.

With the biggest match in UFC history coming up this Saturday, it makes you wonder.

Text of the week:

This text of the week comes from Welchie and me:

Welchie: "I'M OUT THERE...WAY OUT THERE...ON THE EDGE OF OUT THERE...DAM IT ALL"
Me: "Oh man u sound like George Costanza"
Welchie: "That makes u gerry, katie is Elaine, smiddy is puddy, and P is kramer."
Me: "Smiddys could be Newman"
Welchie: "Matty is the soup nazi"
Me: "Ha or Folan"

I just love a good old fashion Seinfeld reference.

Text of the week:

This weeks text comes from me. Since the Celtics start the championship round tomorrow night, I thought it only fitting...



Hey Dwight Howard...suck it!!!

Text of the week

Sorry I didn't post text of the week yesterday. With the temperature being 90 plus, my work computer being down, and the lack of usable texts. I kinda got caught up.

1. "Had to put the ac on come on its may"
2. "its hot man"
1. "I hear ya"
2. "Whats up for the weekend?"
1. "Smiddawg productions aint doing nothing for the fights again?"
2. "Thats my favorite text of yesterday"
1. "hot and heavy out last night bro"


This is a 2 days text conversation...and I love it.