Monday, June 20, 2016

Derek is a raving psycopath

he's big, he's burly, he's always down to booze and for a short period titled himself Mr Booze.

but, then again there was always something a little off about him right? Just a little something. Maybe its the always being happy? Love of the hentai genre? The zany facial hair? I don't know myself but this. THIS I KNOW


1. Kit Kat
2. Reeces Peanut Butter cup
3. Mounds/Almond Joy
4. Reeces Pieces
5. Hershey - kisses, mini candy bars or full size bars
6.M & M peanuts
7. Man I loved Whatchamacallits when I was little
8. Twix bars
9. Caramellos
10. 100 Grand bar

Sorry Snickers and Milky Way

What the hell is that? Kit Kat #1 Ya sure Kit Kat is a respectable but, at best is suited for ice cream cumbling

#2 Reeces? First open the Wikipedia its REESES, second its 2016 everyone has peanut butter allegies especially kids. Might as well say I hate kids and steal from collection baskets.

#3 Mounds/Almond Joy, Who in human history has ever uttered the words "Man I could go for an Almond Joy"? Answer: No One

#4 Reeces Pieces, misspelled again. Just double down on the kid hate more bro.

#5 Hershey? Didn't know this was a Candy Company list? And fucking nobody likes Hershey Kisses. Their role is to go square in the center of an oatmeal cookie come Christmas time AND even then that is at best a dessert appetizer

#6 Peanut M&Ms ok I respect this, and is Kid safe because it doesn't contain Peanut Butter

#7 Whatchamacallits, date yourself some more grandpa, I bet you liked them with a nice can of Moxie right before buying some War Bonds and taking the trolley to the pictures

#8 Twix Bar? That's not candy, its a snack food? Whats next Fruit by the Foot or Gushers?

#9 Caremellos? They actually sell those? I thought you could only get them out of church fundraiser candy boxes?

#10 100 Grand Bar? Again, how was the Depression? Was Polio a real concern of yours? Do rowdy teens upset you?

and last but not least sorry Snickers and Milky Way? Might as well say put me on a watch list. What you did was the equivalent of Moses coming down the mountain with Thou Shall Not Kill and Thou shall not steal covered up and saying NBD?

What is that? Any coincidence Derek got into Sausage making recently? Well after this I can tell you conclusively those sausages everyone was raving about contained human flesh.

Have a good vacation Derek. I know your not going anywhere but, I can guarantee readers there is going to be a spike in missing persons and mutilated farm animals