Joe No Job Part 2

Hello My Fellow Drunks. This is R.D.J. here. I just wanted to clarify something to everyone. Some of the things I’m going to write about are fact and the other is my opinion. I’m not really into fiction. The previous e-mail that you read I would consider an opinion. If Derek could get his act together and put a voting link that would help my situation out. Once again my opinion. I know you are all wondering where I’m going with this so ill cut to the chase. Princess Roof Deck read Derek’s blog today while at work. Lets just say thank God she was at work. I might be choking on my testicles for lunch. At least I would have food to eat ! Joke. In being creative with my list I wanted to include 10 items . I mean who really has a list with anything less. I came up short . I had a writers block like Stephen King. I cant write or even think when I don’t have The Red Sox here to occupy my life. Why do you think Mr. King is always @ the park. Anyways I believe that when I’m writing there are 10 Basic thing you should always try to incorporate into “The Blog”.

1. Sports

2. Beer

3. Friends

4. Sex

5. Food

6. TV/Movies

7. Beach (because Derek loves the beach)

8. Bill Smiddy

9. Money

10. AA ( believe it or not one day we will all be there)

Sticking to my guns I kept my TOP 5 in the last blog. Well like I said I was having a brain fart when it came to the sex part. That is where this quote comes into play, “I also got to stare at a bartender that I’ve wanted to bang since I first laid eyes on her” & “ #10.Always bang her when you have the chance”. This was more of a statement to all the men out there that sometimes need a little advice. I actually had to go back and add this in as a filler if you will.

Back to my Princess. She did not think this was the least bit funny. The truth be told, I had read the story to her but I sort of left that part out. I thought it was the end of it. Who would have ever imagined she gave a fuck about what we talk about. Bottom line, Princes wanted to know what I had done all day so I had to share it with her.

Well needless to say it didn’t go over very well. I mean I called it creative writing. The part creative means I don’t have to explain dog shit when making a statement. The only person that wanted to know where the bar was is Chrissy but he’s a sick fuck. No 1 else seems to really care. Does anyone care where ,when, or why? I was just trying to kill sum time , and take up sum of yours. Is that not the point? 1 more thing Princess new exactly what bar and what girl. Eeeek! “ It was a filler though.” I honestly wouldn’t touch her with Chrissy’s dick and Smiddy pushing.

Well Princess you know that you are the only one for me and you must reevaluate your interpretation of my sad story. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. I love you.

There is only 1 Princess Roof Deck.

Quizzes by Quibblo.com

Sincerely, R.D.J.

This is RDJs newest and latest email enjoy.

Joe No Job

What No Job equals: No job .No money. No fun. Still have to go to class Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights for 3 ½ hrs. Hunger. I’m fucking starving .I’m so hungry I’ve contemplated coaxing my neighbors dog into my man cave with a leftover lamb bone I have.(see lamb bone) IM down to 3 Coors lights and my gf 's bud light limes left over from the summer. My ass hurts so bad from sitting on the couch all day that I now have to lay pillows down. My eyes are blood shot from looking at computer smut all day. There are no more new episodes of Law & Order, 24, 90210, CSI Miami, Overhauling, FBI Files, Las Vegas, just to name a few. I think I’ve watched every new and old episode there ever was. Yes I do admit to watching 90210. The highlight of my week so far has been when I put on an old north face fleece and reached into my pocket. To my shock and surprise I found $33 . I thought it was a dream. I wanted to go running to the bar room but I had to spend my money wisely. That’s where the lamb bone comes in. Just incase any of you employed people were wandering how I could be bitching when I had a nice lamb dinner on my hands. This never would have happened if hadn’t changed my clothes for the second time in 2 weeks. That $33 supplied me with a lamb shank and 2 Coors lights. I also got to stare at a bartender that I’ve wanted to bang since I first laid eyes on her. Oh what a night I had. So I hope all of you enjoyed spending the money you don’t have last night and watching the bruins. The moral of this story is I know you like lists Derek so here it is :

#1. Always stay employed

#2. Always keep reserves in the roof deck fridge.

#3. Always change your clothing

#4. Always hide money in random clothing

#5. Always keep plenty of extra pillows on hand

#6. Always DVR late night shows so you have more to watch during the daytime

#7. Always keep a bone handy because you never no when the food will run out.

#8. Always stay in school because if you don’t you will have to return at some point.

#9. Always stay employed.



P.S. I forgot to mention that the Bartender I referred to above is now 3 months Prego WTF



#10.Always bang her when you have the chance.

P.S.S If anyone needs there boiler changed out or serviced you know where I am.

Have a Grand Day

This is an actual email I received from my buddy Joey Roofdeck. Joey has been laid off for a few months now and apparently he is getting a little antsy. If anyone needs some boiler service, he is available.